A teen's wish...

For Bboy...a fantasy-come-true story...part I

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	I woke up one night when it was storming.  My bedroom faced a 
large tree, and when the wind blew, the branches scraped against my 
window and woke me up.  I remember this night clearly because it was 
the first time I came.  It was a full moon, so everything in my room 
was lit up bright.  As usual, of course, I awoke with an erection.  I 
had been getting them regularly that year...it must have been when I 
was 11 or so because I didn’t have pubic hair yet.  I know it was 
when I was at least that young because I liked to put my dick and 
balls into things as small as possible.  I’ll never forget Prell 
Shampoo, because the mouth of that bottle was slightly smaller than 
that of my dick and it felt so GOOD to stick my dick into that 
plastic bottle!  My aunt had been teaching me and my younger brother 
macreme’, so I had several keyrings handy that I had been using in 
macreme’.  At times I would force my balls (then quite small!) 
through these rings until they ached.
	This particular night, however, it was my dick that commanded my 
attention.  The whole room was a silvery gray from the moon, and my 
tiny dick seemed to arch up into forever.  I took a couple of the 
keyrings from my desk, and attempted to slide them over my dick.
	OUCH!  Needless to say, harsh metal and soft little boy-dick 
don’t go together!  I promptly loss my nocturnal erection...but 
something compelled me to continue.  I slowly worked the keyring over 
my dick, pulling and scraping at the skin on every side of it, until 
the keyring was firmly lodged at the base of my dick.  Then things 
started getting interesting.  I felt this funny feeling, kind of like 
ITCHING, between my legs.  This itchy feeling grew and grew and GREW 
until it was itching unbearably...and the next thing I knew, my dick 
was pushing out this clear fluid everywhere.  I mean everywhere.  I 
know that it couldn’t have been more than a couple of ounces at MOST 
considering a prepubescent metabolism, but still!  There was a lot of 
STUFF to clean up!
	Well, that ended my exploration for awhile.  I was convinced I 
had ‘broke’ my dick or something, since the clear stuff obviously 
wasn’t piss.  I didn’t TOUCH myself, even to pee, for what seemed to 
be thelongest time!
	It wasn’t long after that I noticed these tiny little red curls 
appearing.  They were almost like the tiny worms I’d seen in animal 
shit (I grew up working on a dairy farm), except they weren’t white 
and they didn’t move...but they were still there, all curled up!  So 
I took my father’s razor and shaved them off.
	This helped for about a day and a half, because when puberty 
hits it hits!  Those little hairs were adamant about growing back and 
they ITCHED!  But it wasn’t the same kind of itching that led to the 
emission several nights prior...although, in public, a couple of 
times, it almost did!
	I was about 12 years old or so when my parents bought the 
Encylopedia Britannica.  At the time, they purchased the Britannica 
Junior for me and my brother.  I don’t know what they were thinking, 
because my mother taught me to read when I was 4 or so on Dr. Seuss; 
every chance I had, I pulled the “R” volume down and was devouring 
the section on ‘reproduction, human.’  I learned the proper names for 
all the male and female genitalia YEARS before I learned the slange 
words.  In fact, it was sometimes embarrassing because I had no idea 
of the ‘street’ names for body parts.
	It was also about this time that I began to be truly intrigued 
with my dick.  It began to be an obsession with me.  Oh, I never was 
an exhibitionist (then!) or fondled myself in public, but I know my 
mother wondered why I was spending so much time in the bathroom!  
Those shampoo bottles just felt so good!
	Anyway, I began to be obsessed with my dick.  It was near, yet 
so far.  I could touch it with my hand but not my mouth...what it...
	And there it began.  One night, I just looped my heel behind my 
head and pulled them in, and the next thing I knew, my dickhead was 
in my mouth!  I had about a microsecond to enjoy the sensation 
because in the next instant, I was shooting into my own mouth!  To 
this day I can’t believe I didn’t gag...but I didn’t, and I swallowed 
my entire load, with my lips clamped around my own dick.
	Needless to say, I almost couldn’t MOVE the next day, my back 
and neck were so sore!  This revelation of a personal ‘skill,’ 
however, kept me busy many, many nights in the future!  I soon 
learned how to limber up quickly.  I could bend over and slip my dick 
into my mouth in only a few seconds, if I felt like it.
	I entertained myself with this particular talent for a couple of 
years before becoming interested in something else.  I had gotten so 
limber that I could suck my entire dick into my mouth.  In fact, it 
used to bring me to the point of orgasm to suck down as much of my 
dick as I could and then bite down as hard as possible.  Just 
relaxing and seeing the toothmarks around the base of my dick was 
enough to send me over the edge without touching myself.
	As I sucked, I then began to image what would happen if I bit my 
own dick off.  I found that if I fantasized about biting it off while 
sucking it, I shot my load a lot sooner.  I could also suck my balls, 
and it wasn’t long after I realized that if biting my dick would give 
me a charge, certainly biting my balls would!
	I can’t begin to describe the pain.  I bit down on my balls one 
night so hard I almost vomited onto myself.  As I lie there gasping, 
I realized I would have to modify my behavior somewhat, because 
biting down on my balls HURT!
	Well, I still had a desire to put my dick and balls into small 
rings, smaller than they could fit, actually.  I went to the local 
hardware store and purchased a 1/2” stainless steel ring.  At the 
time, it was perfectly adequate to slip around my dick and 
balls...not without some discomfort, but I could still do it!
	By now I was maybe 13 or 14 and had been working on the dairy 
farm long enough to be able to help out in ways OTHER than mucking 
out stalls.
	The vet called me over to help him assist in a castration...I 
didn’t know what to say.  My dick and balls felt like they were 
crawling up in on themselves...yet I was feeling all hot and prickly 
and itchy like I did that one night when put my dick in a keyring.
	I was told to hold the buck’s legs and the vet just sliced once, 
twice, squeezed out the testes, cut them off and doused the incision 
with iodine.  The goat just kind of grunted and then, when released, 
ran off.  I was not surprised to find out when I went home, that I 
had creamed my shorts...
	I promptly curled up in bed and sucked myself dry, fantasizing 
about the castration.
	I got to thinking, when I was lapping up my own cum, what if 
that had happened to me?
	Here’s were things begin to get interesting.  See, I was above 
average in many ways.  I was advanced a couple of grades into high 
school.  I was reading on a college level, which gave me access to 
literature that should have been banned to a kid my age.  Oh well, 
without it, where would I be?!?
	As I thought more and more about castration, it seemed that my 
real interest lied elsewhere.
	I’ll never forget my 15th birthday.  I got to help perform the 
procedure on a ‘teaser’ buck.  This is a procedure in which a buck’s 
(male goat) penis is re-routed through the side of his abdomen.  This 
is done so that the buck will still mount the female (indicating that 
she is in heat) but be unable to ejaculate, since the penis will 
slide out through the opening in the buck’s side.
	Just seeing the buck’s penis, lying open and then re-routed 
through his abdomen kept me erect the whole time.  I think the vet 
understood a little of what I was going through, because he let me 
excuse myself for a brief time to ‘relieve’ myself (his words!).
	It was then that the fantasy with having my dick removed began.
	I knew that I wanted a normal development, which necessitated 
having my balls.  I also knew that I was gay, and at 15, I’d not used 
my dick, so why not get rid of it?  It seemed like inarguable logic 
at the time.
	The fantasy of having no dick began to consume me.  I would suck 
my own dick until I came not once or twice but three or more times 
(teenage hormones, remember?).  I would think about flopping my balls 
onto my face with no dick there to distract me.  It began to get 
quite erotic.  I went back to the hardware store and bought stainless 
steel rings even smaller than before.  I could just BARELY force my 
balls through this ring without screaming.  While I was still on an 
adrenalin rush (knowledge makes it so much easier to explain prior 
events!), I managed to squeeze my dick through the ring as well.  I 
kept pulling and easing the sking on my dick through the ring (I’m 
cut, unfortunately) bit by bit until my dick was through.  Did it 
ache, boy, did it ache!  I kept pulling my dick through and easing 
more skin past the ring until it finally cleared the bulk of the 
cords in my scrotum...and then past the big vein in my dick.
	I could feel the deep inner core of my penis trying to swell up, 
but it was prevented by the ring.  It got tighter and tighter...and 
then I was feeling nauseous.  I know now that this meant that my 
balls were under a lot of pressure.  All of the sudden I felt this 
flowing sensation between my legs.  I looked down.  My dick was 
slowly starting to inflate!  It got tighter and tighter...harder and 
harder...as I watched, the veins started stretching and distending 
almost until it seemed they would burst.  I touched it.  Wow!  I 
almost came from that simple touch.  I thought about what to do next.  
Needless to say, I threw my legs behind my head and proceeded to suck 
for all I was worth.
	It was a surprise to me when the dick that landed in my mouth 
was cool...and then I realized that I could feel my own mouth on my 
own dick!
	This scared me so much I sat up.  My dick still swayed in front 
of me, enormous, distended, still pulsing with my heartbeat, but when 
I touched it, it felt cool.  Still, when you’re a teenager, you don’t 
think about these things.  I threw my legs behind my head and went 
down on myself again.  I remember sucking and sucking...at one point 
my chin was digging into my own pubes when I felt that little tickle, 
the beginning of the itchy sensation - and - ZOWIE - the next thing I 
knew I was gulping loads and loads of cum.  I know what it ways in 
the encyclopedia, but I know I swallowed 4 or 5 times that night.
	Afterwards, i just collapsed.  My back and neck were killing me.  
My groin was aching.  I licked my lips (good to the last drop!) and 
sat up.  My dick was still raging.  Surprisingly, it was still cool 
to the touch.  About then, I began to get scared.
	I was a Boy Scout, I knew what tourniquets could do.  Despite 
the fact that I could see my dick pulsing, the blood flow was 
obviously being restricted.
	I went to the bathroom, soaped up (kind of hard to do without 
being noticed by your parents!) and started easing the ring up my 
dick and balls.  
	PAIN!
	Obviously, no go.  I remembered a technique from my years at the 
diary farm.  I put my hands around my dick and balls and squeezed 
while pushing the blood toward my abdomen.  I ‘milked’ all the blood 
out of my dick and scrotum that way after about 10 minutes.
	By now, my dick was this pale skinny THING dangling next to 
these enormous balls (the cords of the scrotum fill up with fluid, 
too).  I was almost panicking at this point.  I pushed on my dickhead 
until it started sinking into itself.  I grabbed it one last time and 
squeezed the shit out of it until it slipped back down into the ring, 
leaving a lot of excess skin behind.
	I looked down - and almost came from what I saw.  My dick had 
forced itself down inside the ring, leaving a ring of skin and my 
scrotum behind...almost as if i had no dick.
	My dick immediately began to get erect and began pushing on all 
the excess skin contained by the ring...and then the ring slipped off 
the excess skin and my dick popped loose, spraying cum everywhere.
	After that experience, I spent many hours slipping my dick and 
balls into rings until it appeared that I had no dick.  I carefully 
shaved a small circle of pubic hair so the ring would grab onto the 
skin and hold it in place.  I found that with enough practice, I 
could wear a ring like this for hours..I tried it on a nude beach in 
Florida and shocked a few folks, I’m sure!  I tried taking pictures 
but it was always apparent that SOMETHING was holding the skin out of 
the way.
	I began thinking about the final step.  About actually DOING it.
	By now, I was around 16 years old...the classic over-achiever.  
I was first in my class, played football-baseball-basketball, and was 
in the band as well.  A band-pansy, as they would have said in my 
dad’s day.
	I began looking for more and more things to put my dick and 
balls in.  I kept sucking myself everyday, if not more often, but 
more often than not would get off some other way...like the time I 
found the vacuum cleaner.  I don’t know what made me try it.  My 
mother was in the next room, even...and as I was vacuuming the living 
room I slipped my dick into the open mouth of the vacuum cleaner 
tube...within seconds I was shooting into the tube!
	I quickly slipped my shorts back on by the time my mom returned.
	Then there was the lawn mower episode.  I’d noticed that the 
lawn mower vibrated my hands and wrists almost painfully while 
mowing...and then I thought, out of the blue, RUBBER BANDS!
	I rubber-banded my dick to the handle of the push mower and 
vibrated myself to many happy ejaculations!
	No matter how I got off during the day, I still sucked myself 
off every night.
	About this time I ended up with a used laptop, compliments of my 
parents.  It took approximately 30 seconds of searching on the net 
(10 sof those econds searching for my father’s credit card!) to find 
BME.
	I thought I had creamed my last load.
	To find a website devoted to people who had ideas like mine was 
incredible.
	I thought I had creamed another last load.
	I can’t tell you how many times I jerked my dick raw to the 
pictures on BME.
	Then, however, I began to get serious.  I became enchanted with 
one story that I read.  The story had to do with a couple of guys who 
attempted to cut of one guy’s dick with a pair of hedge clippers.  I 
printed this story out and it captivated me for days.  Every time I 
came in my own mouth I would fantasize about a pair of hedge clippers 
being snapped shut on my dick...
	Then I thought about making it happen.  I remembered how many 
times I had been an exhibitionist.  I realized that if I wanted my 
dick to be gone, it would have to be in front of many people who 
shared the same desires I did.  I tried to contact as many ‘cutters’ 
as I could, via BME.  This provided me with the email contact of a 
eunuch, someone who had had both penis and testicles removed.  We 
chatted several times.  He was honest and did not try to dissuade me.  
He was very encouraging and would explain everything I asked.  He 
invited me to get my glans removed in Dallas not long thereafter.
	I can’t tell you what this suggestion did to me...even now, it 
leaves me with a feeling of breathlessness...a feeling of being giddy 
and almost orgasm-like...
	I couldn’t take advatage of his offer, and we communicated 
several times afterwards.  He told me of his experiences that 
weekend, which only served to strengthen my resolve to carry out my 
desire.
	We communicated via email for a couple of weeks and then fell 
out of touch.  I wish he would contact me again!
	Finally, events came to a head.  I knew that if something didn’t 
happen, I would do it to myself...