Several male and female readers here have asked me to elaborate on some of Jane’s and my experiences during my chemical and physical castrations. What drugs did you take? How did you go about finding a doctor to castrate you? What kind of relationship do you and Jane have now? How often do you have sex? What is sex like?

It seems that there are a lot of other spouses out there who have some of the same questions and problems that Jane and I did and are looking for answers and solutions to their sexual incompatibility. I’ve come to learn that voluntary castration for this reason is not as uncommon today as one would think and that there are many other couples who have already made the same decision as we did.

There has already been much stated and restated on this site about male castration and its effects that the reader can find and read about and I will avoid repeating them here. I will just speak about Jane’s and my quest for sexual compatibility for those who might want to consider a similar route to the one that we took. I can really only answer personally for myself and can just speak about Jane in the third person, however.

Jane and I didn’t just one day decide that “now is the day”. There was a good deal of trepidation on my part about the possible health side effects of castration, particularly possible weight gain and gynecomastia, and in any event Jane told me that she wasn’t about to give me Depo-Provera shots by herself. She told me to find another way. Months went by before we eventually decided to do something about it.

Due to the medical studies that now show how menopausal and post-menopausal women have higher incidences of cancer from taking hormones, Jane had made the same decision that many other women her age do today and she doesn’t take any. That, I think, is one of the reasons why so many couples now have sexual incapability problems as these wives no longer have much of a sex drive and many times find sex unenjoyable, and sometimes even painful.

As it happened, Jane, through her contacts and chatting away with colleagues at work, learned about a clinic not all that far from our home that specialized in the health of menopausal and post-menopausal women. Not only is the practice involved in the physical complaints that women face during their menopausal and post-menopausal years but it also provides marital counseling to couples with issues like the one that Jane and I were facing. So, in the end, it was Jane in her normal, take-charge rational way who took the first step by setting up an appointment for us to meet with a marital-relations counselor there.

“Hello, my name is Betty. And you must be Rob and Jane. I hope that you don’t mind me addressing you by your first names”, said an attractive middle-age woman about our age to us when we went to our first counseling session. “I’ll be your counselor at the clinic and we like to go on first name basis here so please call me ‘Betty’”, I recall her saying to us at that first meeting.

Betty gave us a brief introduction about all the services that the clinic offered, including marital counseling for couples like ourselves. Then she listened to us as we told her our stories. You already know my side as I related in “Jane’s Hubby”; Jane spoke about how no matter how she tried, she could never understand or relate to male sexuality and how I was always “over-sexed” ever since we had met and how my “sexual harassment” of her seemed to have gotten worse since the kids grew up and move away, almost as though it was only sex that motivated me in our relationship anymore. Jane felt that as I reached middle age that my sex drive should have been decreasing naturally like other men’s do, to become more in harmony with hers. As far as Jane was concerned, ultimately the problem was for me to resolve.

Betty said how sexual incompatibility can lead to unnecessary stress in a relationship, often leading to divorce or an unhappy marriage. The husband is unfaithful, with or without the wife’s consent, or resentment builds between the partners as the husband feels rejected sexually and the wife feels pressured to supply sex against her will.

“What we can provide”, said Betty, “through marital counseling, together with the use of chemicals to modify the behavioral attitude of the male by lowering his production of testosterone, is a way to create the environment that helps to restore sexual compatibility in a marriage. This is a year-long program that, if successful to both parties, can end the marital strife that is affecting your relationship today and can bring you closer together again. We have found that this regimen of counseling and behavioral modification is extremely effective for couples like you. Is this something that you would like to know more about?”

We both replied in unison, “That’s why we’re here”.

Chapter Two

“Of course, both parties have to want to make their relationship work and both have to participate in the program. For the female that means coming to the counseling sessions, having a physical exam to see if there are other issues that may be affecting her sex drive and following the recommendations of the counselor. For the male, that means attending counseling and participating fully in receiving a series of Depo-Provera injections that will be given regularly over a year’s period to alter his sexual behavior. If either one of you are unwilling to do this together, then the program isn't for you”, said Betty.

“Our experience”, said Betty, “has been that usually it is the male who has the most problems staying in the program. Some cannot tolerate the side effects of the drug or realize that they are not personally cut out for what we are trying to accomplish, which is to reduce the sex drive of the male to better match that of his spouse. On the female’s side, we have found that most women have been very understanding and supportive of their mate’s progress, having already experienced the effects of menopause themselves, which is, in effect, what we are creating in the male.”

“Male menopause, or andropause, occurs naturally in man when he reaches middle age; however, these changes occur gradually, typically over a long period, perhaps ten years or more, depending upon the individual and whether or not he takes medication to mitigate the effects. During andropause, the male experiences a significant lowering of his testosterone level, What we do is to compress these experiences into a much shorter time period to attain the same desired result, which is sexual compatibility”, related Betty. “A year, we have found, is sufficient time for the male to experience the full effects of andropause and for us to recommend if making these changes permanent are advisable for both parties. That would entail the excision of the testes”, said Betty.

Betty let Jane and I consider what she had told us. It wasn’t the first year that concerned me, because I wanted to make our marriage work, it was what came after. Speaking of permanent castration theoretically was one thing but actually going through with it was another. Jane seemed to be more concerned about the introduction of a drug into my system and the possible negative effects that it might have on my body.

Betty answered Jane’s questions first. “We have a very experienced medical staff that closely monitors the physical signs of the patient throughout the program. If we see that there are any significant complications, we immediately cease treatment. What we have found is that we will quickly know if the medication is compatible with the patient or not”, Betty told Jane and me. “There are other medications available but we have found Depo-Provera to be the best medium for our purpose.”

“What we also know is that if the couple completes the one year trial of the male living with low testosterone that the decision for surgical castration is a fairly simple one to make because by then both the husband and wife have decided if the experience is what they expect it would be and if they want it to continue”, Betty told me. “The effects of physically removing the testes do not change what the male has already experienced from the previous application of the medication. Our knowledge is that by the sixth month of treatment all the effects of castration are manifested. All that removal of the testes does is to stop the need to administer the monthly injections anymore. So far we have not had one couple who decided to forgo this route after one year of treatment”, Betty said to the both of us.

“Additionally, we monitor the progress of our ‘graduates’ over time and our feedback has been that all of the males, without exception, are very satisfied with the results and have no regrets, as well as are their spouses, especially in respect to their relationship with their respective partners. When it gets closer to making a decision to proceed with the surgery, we also will assign you to a mentoring couple who have already completed the program to advise you on what to expect afterward”, said Betty.

After answering the many questions that Jane and I had, Betty left us to discuss between ourselves if this is what we wanted to do. We really didn’t see any downside; after all we could determine that it wasn’t what we expected or wanted and could quit the program. We told Betty that we were ready to take the next step when she came back into the room.

Betty looked at her calendar and scheduled us for a month from that day for our second counseling session and my first set of Depo-Provera shots. Additionally, Betty scheduled Jane for a physical in two weeks at the clinic and advised me to have one myself with my general medical practitioner before our next scheduled meeting so that the clinic could determine if I was healthy enough to take the prescribed medication. “I want you to be aware”, Betty said to me, “that the shots themselves will leave you with a bit of discomfort for about day or so but you can minimize the soreness by exercising the area after they are administered.”

Betty stood up and shook our hands to say good-bye. “I’ll see you in a month, then,” she told us. Jane and I left for our drive home, thinking about what was in store for us in the months ahead. That night, Jane, in an atypical fashion, made love to me that seemed to go on and on.

Chapter Three

On our way to our second counseling session with Betty, I couldn’t seem to stop the aroused feelings that I was having. It was strange to realize that I was on the way to my being chemically castrated yet I was getting hard just the same.

We had both taken our physicals two weeks earlier. Now Betty reviewed them with us.

“You both are good candidates”, she told us. “There’s nothing physically wrong with you, Jane, that regular exercise and dieting won’t cure. Rob, I see from your lab work that Jane was right; you do have significantly more testosterone in you system than a man your age normally does. It may take more time to reduce it to the levels that we are seeking to reach”, said Betty. “I’m putting you both on a weight training and exercise program and a special diet that I expect you to follow during the program. They will do the both of you good; Jane because they will help improve your sex drive and increase your bone mass and Rob because they will lessen some of the possible side effects of castration that we have already discussed. By working together as a team, you will be more inclined to motivate one another to continue with exercising and eating the right foods.”

After speaking some more with Betty as to what physical changes we could expect from the medication, she scheduled us again for counseling a month from then. “Rob has an appointment for his first Depo-Provera injections now so I will see you next month. I hope that the program works well for the both of you. Rob, you should begin to see a pronounced reduction in you libido by the time we meet again. And the both of you don’t forget to make daily additions to your journals, recording your personal experiences”, she said. “These journals will help everyone involved to decide whether or not surgery is advisable when the time comes.”

Jane and I waited a bit in the waiting room until both of us were called to the nurses’ station. Together we signed some release forms giving the clinic permission to begin treatment. Then I was escorted to a room by a young, pretty nurse who recorded my weight, temperature and blood pressure and then she directed me to an examination room. The nurse told me to remove all my clothes, except for my socks, and put on the hospital gown that was on the table. She left after telling me that the doctor would be seeing me shortly. I noticed some type of strange stool in the room of a kind that I never saw before, with a saddle instead of a normal seat. There was no other place to sit so I stood while waiting, cold and embarrassed by my near naked state and trying to hide a huge, involuntary erection that was trying to tent the front of my gown.

“Hello, Rob, my name is June and I’m one of the physicians at the clinic”, she said in a friendly manner as she took my record from the holder on the door and reviewed it. “I am going to give you two Depo-Provera shots today. You’ll have to return in two weeks for another one and thereafter you’ll be put on a regime of one a month. Please sit in the chair facing the pummel. Do you have any questions before I administer the shots?”

I sat in the saddle and the back of my gown opened, exposing my buttocks. Now I understood the practical reason for the strange stool. In walked the nurse who had previously weighed me, with two syringes. “Lean forward a bit, Rob. These will sting somewhat but only for a moment or two”, said Dr. June. She was right, as I felt two needles successively go into the top outside corners of each cheek, which did sting. “You may get dressed now and I’ll be back in a few minutes to make sure that everything is OK before you leave”, she told me after she had finished.

I was very sore while I was getting dressed, when the doctor to came back in to take my blood pressure and release me and almost for the rest of the day, until it became less and less of a distraction to me. The successive shots throughout the treatment never got any better. It was 24-hours of soreness that slowly went away by the end of the second day.

That night Jane again was ready for sex, of the type when we were dating. She didn’t seem to want to stop. Although she didn’t say it, I knew that the shots had turned her on and she wanted to make the most of it before I couldn’t get as hard anymore as I was at that moment. I forgot about the two aches in my butt for awhile.

And so the months passed by. A year sounds like a long time but it’s really not. Jane and I went to monthly counseling sessions for the first four months. By then Betty was convinced that we both were committed to the program for the right reasons and saw no need for any additional sessions. By the third month, tests showed that my testosterone had diminished considerably, to “normal castration levels”. Our lovemaking episodes by then had also diminished, from once a week to twice a month. It was still enjoyable for me and I could still pleasure Jane when she got on top, as she always does now, because that seems the best position to make me last the longest. Then we change places so I finish quickly.

Sex this way seems to work well for the both of us. Jane only feels the urge for sex about twice a month and I no longer feel that ever present need for sexual satisfaction. Ironically, when before starting on our road to my castration, Jane always wanted me to “hurry up and finish” because sex was uncomfortable for her. Now, she no longer complains, as she repeatedly slides her wet orifice up and down my shaft, moaning, almost as though the idea of my castration and her being in control has reinvigorated her pleasure for sex.

The rest of the days we sleep together closely but without the tension of my being sexually aroused despite our mutual partial nakedness. I stay flaccid throughout the nights without any desire for sex. And Jane commented that I seem to be more attentive to her needs and a more demonstratively loving husband to her now.

Before we knew it, the eleventh month came and Betty arranged for another couple to phone us about their experiences. Bob and Ann were about our age and Bob had his testicles removed a year before, after completing the clinic’s program. They both were extremely friendly on the phone and we agreed to meet them for dinner at their home the following Saturday, which was not far from the clinic.

Chapter Four

“Hello, welcome to our place”, I remember Ann saying to us when we showed up that night. “We hope that you don’t find it intimidating meeting us here but we figured that we could have a more meaningful discussion in private rather than at a public restaurant”, she said to us. “Besides, Betty told us that you two were a perfect couple and that we would like you right off so we felt comfortable inviting you here”, added Bob.

And so we had dinner and spoke about our experiences, which were so similar that we could almost finish one another's sentences. But of course Bob and Ann had gone further and that was what Jane and I wanted to hear about.

“I had my two balls taken out a year ago”, said Bob. “I feel no different today than before having them removed. I have kept myself healthy and I truly enjoy my new-found relationship with my wife, which is better now than it ever was before. We’ve become and remain caring partners, which has transcended just making love to one other”, he told us.

Bob and Ann spoke about the day of Bob’s castration. “We used one of the doctors who was recommended by the clinic who regularly does castrations, usually for his transgendered patients”, said Ann. “I was surprised that he let me in the room while he performed the procedure. He suggested it so I could give support to my husband. I held Bobby’s hand as I watched the nurse stretch each testicle taut so the doctor could snip the cords, first one and then the other. It is something that I will always remember”, said Ann. “I said to my husband at the time, ‘Bobby, you are doing this for me’. I love you’.”

Over the following weeks we spent some time choosing one of the clinic’s several recommended doctors. We met the physician who Bob had used and recommended, and he agreed to perform the operation. He already had read the clinic’s psychological reports on both Jane and me, plus my medical history from the clinic, so as far as he was concerned there was no reason not to go ahead. Jane accompanied me to his medical office one Saturday morning soon after but, after co-signing the consent forms giving the doctor permission to surgically castrate me, she returned to the waiting room, still too squeamish to see blood. In thirty minutes I was done and after an hour for observation, the doctor said that the operation went well and that I could go home and rest.

I can’t say that I witnessed my operation, even though I was awake because the doctor had used local anesthesia. From my prone position I couldn’t see a thing. I recall him commenting to me and his nurse while he was working how my testicles were partially contracted since birth so my empty sack would be minimal and over time that it would shrink until it was almost smooth but that there would still be enough excess skin remaining for erections, without causing me any discomfort.

It’s been now just two months since my castration. Jane and I have resumed lovemaking, just as before my surgery. If anything, our sessions are now even longer, and more intense for Jane. She’s the one who decides when we make love and how for how long. When she has orgasmed enough times, Jane says, “I can’t go on any more. You can finish now, if you want.” The feeling of ejaculation is still one of intense pleasure for me but much shorter than before I was castrated. But I don’t have any loss of enjoyment. My main goal is to give pleasure to Jane.

Bob and Ann and Jane and I have gotten together several times since my operation. We’ve become good friends, I guess because we understand one another. There is no bashfulness between us. We’re thinking about maybe going on vacation together this summer. In the meantime, we’re considering trying to start a social club for similar spouses in the region who might be interested in joining a support group of their peers. It would be fun becoming friends with more couples like ourselves.