Not The Gingerbread Boy

[This one was told to me by a nine-year-old girl, when I was just an 
eight-year-old boy. Obviously, she thought normal fairy tales were 
dull.] 

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Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy. His mommy and daddy 
told him never to play too far away from the house, because there 
were plenty of dangerous creatures in the forest. But he didn’t 
listen to them, and  one day he went to explore the woods by himself.

After a few hours, he became lost. He also needed to pee.
He opened his zipper and poked out his dick, but he didn’t 
know where would be a good place to pee. So he walked along, picking 
his nose with one hand, and holding his dick with the other.

Pretty soon, he came across a great big turtle beside the path he was 
taking, so the little boy said,

	“Mr. Turtle, Mr. Turtle, where can I pee?”

And the turtle, who was really a snapping turtle, looked up at the 
boy’s dick and thought it would make a tasty snack, so he said,

	“You can pee inside my mouth, little boy. I am very thirsty 
and could use a drink.”

	The boy had never peed inside anyone’s mouth before. He 
thought drinking pee was yucky, but maybe turtles liked it.

The turtle opened his jaws wide and waited. The boy aimed his dick at 
the turtle and moved his feet apart.

	“No, not like that!” said the turtle. “You’ll just get my 
shell all wet and waste most of it! Come closer.”

	The boy moved closer to the turtle.

	“Closer,” said the turtle.

	The boy got down on his knees in front of the turtle.

“Stick it in my mouth,” said the turtle.

So the boy stuck his dick inside the turtle’s mouth.  Suddenly, the 
turtle’s jaws went SNAP! But the boy had jumped back, just in time!

“You tried to bite my dick off!” yelled the boy.

“That’s right,” said the turtle, angrily. “And when I catch you, I 
will gobble it all up!”

“Hah!” said the boy. “You can run and run as fast as you can, but 
you’ll never catch me, because I’ve got a stickshift and two ball 
bearings!”

And the boy shifted into high gear and ran away. The turtle got tired 
quickly and gave up. The boy slowed down and still needed to pee.

He came upon a grassy meadow, where a brown fox was sleeping. The boy said,

“Mr. Fox, Mr. Fox, where can I pee?”

The fox woke up and looked up at the boy’s dick and thought it would 
make a tasty snack, so he said,

	“You can pee inside my mouth, little boy. I am very thirsty 
and  I could use a drink.”

The boy thought it was strange that the fox said the same thing as 
the turtle, but he needed to go badly, so he said,

“O.K.”

The fox got up on his feet, and opened his jaws wide, and waited. The 
boy aimed his dick at the fox and moved his feet apart.

	“No, not like that!” said the fox. “You’ll just get my fur 
all wet and waste most of it! Come closer.”

	The boy moved closer to the fox.

	“Closer,” said the fox.

	The fox’s mouth was about as high off the ground as the boy’s 
dick was, so all the boy had to do was walk over.

“Stick it in my mouth,” said the fox.

So the boy stuck his dick inside the fox’s mouth.

Suddenly, the fox’s jaws went SNAP!

But the boy had jumped back, just in time!

“You tried to bite my dick off!” yelled the boy.

“That’s right,” said the fox, angrily. “And when I catch you, I will 
gobble it all up!”

“Hah!” said the boy. “You can run and run as fast as you can, but 
you’ll never catch me, because I’ve got a stickshift and two ball 
bearings!”

And the boy shifted into high gear and ran away. The fox was a much 
better runner than the turtle, but the boy was still faster than the 
fox, and got away from him.



Now the boy really needed to go badly. He came upon a girl in a pink 
dress, who was sitting on a tree stump, brushing her hair. The boy 
said,

“Little girl, little girl, where can I pee?”

The girl stopped brushing her hair to look at the boy, who was 
holding his dick with both hands and doing the pee pee dance. She 
knew what a dick was, and knew that only boys had them. Her tummy 
growled. Hmmmm...

	“You can pee inside my mouth, little boy. I am very thirsty 
and  I could use a drink.”

The boy thought it was strange that the girl said the same thing as 
the turtle and the fox, but he really needed to go badly, so he said,

“O.K.”

The girl put her elbows on the tree stump, and rested her chin on her 
palms with her mouth open, and waited. The boy aimed his dick at the 
girl and moved his feet apart.

	“No, not like that!” said the girl. “You’ll just get my dress 
all wet and waste most of it! Come closer.”

	The boy moved closer to the girl.

	“Closer,” said the girl.

	The girl’s mouth was about as high off the ground as the 
boy’s dick was, so all the boy had to do was walk over.

“Stick it in my mouth,” said the girl.

So the boy stuck his dick inside the girl’s mouth.

Suddenly, the girl’s mouth snapped shut!

But the boy had jumped back, just in time!

“You tried to bite my dick off!” yelled the boy.

“That’s right,” said the girl, angrily. “And when I catch you, I will 
gobble it all up!”

“Hah!” said the boy. “You can run and run as fast as you can, but 
you’ll never catch me, because I’ve got a stickshift and two ball 
bearings!”

And the boy shifted into high gear and ran away.

The girl took off right after him. She said,

“Oh, yeah? Well, I don’t need a stickshift and two ball bearings to 
catch you! I’ve got automatic transmission!”

The boy was already tired out from all the running he had already 
done, but the girl wasn’t. Every time he looked over his shoulder at 
her, she was getting closer and closer to him. Whimpering, he began 
to pee while running. The girl thought that was funny and laughed.

She finally caught him and spun him around. She grabbed the end of 
his dick with both hands, while he still had both his hands on his 
side of it, and they started playing tug o’ war with it.

“Let go! Let go!” yelled the boy.

Laughing, the girl wrestled the boy down on to his back, and then sat 
down on his tummy, facing his dick. She held it so it pointed upward 
and used her skirt to wipe it clean and dry it. Then she bent down, 
and eagerly bit it off while he screamed.

The girl got up from him, spat the dick into her hand, and began 
looking it over and feeling it all around. 

 The boy, meanwhile,  sat up, and began rubbing himself between his 
legs.

“Owwww-ooooooo, it hurts! It hurts so bad! You bit my dick off! You 
bit my dick off and it hurts!” the boy cried.

The girl giggled, ate it all up, and licked her fingers.

And that was the end of the naughty boy’s dick!