Infrequently Asked Questions

A nineteen-year-old youth travels to a foreign country to have his 
cock removed.

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Infrequently Asked Questions
 
A young man dressed in a short-sleeve shirt and baggy pants enters a 
small office in a building labeled "Hernando's Hideaway Beds" in a 
country just across the American border. Inside is a gray-haired man 
sitting behind a desk with a sign on it that says, "ENGLISH SPOKEN 
HERE."

  
Q. Is this the nullo place? A friend of mine told me about it - said 
you cut off body parts here. Am I in the right place talking to the 
right person?

A. Could be. I'm the owner. Officially, we're known as makers 
of "Hernando's Hideaway Beds," but we mostly do amputations. We 
remove earlobes, nipples, balls, clits, fingers, toes and eyebrows, 
and we lengthen penises and/or remove foreskins. We even make a video 
tape of the operation for you to enjoy over and over again at home. 
What can we take off of you, besides your money, I mean?

Q. Very funny. Would you be willing to take my foreskin off and most 
of my penis along with it?

A. I knew it might come to this one day! Next week we'll be removing 
brains, if there are any. You're the third penectomy this month. Must 
be the latest fad or something. The answer is yes, we can amputate 
your cock, but it won't be cheap.

Q. That's okay. I can pay. And no general anesthetic either. You can 
deaden the cock itself, but I want to be awake for the whole thing, 
so I can watch. What do I need to do?

A. Show proof of being over 18, pay the $1,500 and sign a release 
form that frees my company from any threat of lawsuit or liability.

Q. Here's my Visa card, my birth certificate and driver's license. 
Where do I sign?

A. I just happen to have a form here on my desk. Sign at the X on the 
bottom line of the contract, then sign the credit card debit form.

Q. There. It's done. What do I do now?

A. Select the means of amputation, and we'll get on with it.

Q. What means of amputation? You mean, the way you chop it off?

A. Yes. It can be done with a scalpel - that's slow but precise - or 
we can use a large meat cleaver, which is quick.

Q. The scalpel's for me, I think. I want it cut off slow. Is it a 
safe operation?

A. Of course. We are very professional here. I might add that you 
made a very good choice. The meat cleaver can be unwieldy and 
inaccurate. One time our surgeon missed and succeeded only in 
chopping off the head of the young man's penis, so he was forced to 
make a second chop. Messy business. 

Q. I'm not worried about it being neat - just slow and sexy. It can 
only happen once, so I want it on tape. You'll get a good camera shot 
of blood spurting from my stump while I hold my severed penis, won't 
you?

A. Of course. We'll even use two cameras and edit it all together in 
a very professional way. You'll see. Your cock removal will make a 
great video - for one thing, your naked body will look MAH-velous on 
camera, if you don't mind me saying so.

Q. Not at all. Thanks. The friend who told me about this place had 
his dick cut off with no deadening. He said it hurt so bad he passed 
out. Does it really hurt that much?

A. You'd feel it all right - it's like a combination of a scorpion 
sting and an electric shock, or so I'm told. But I don't really 
believe it hurts as bad as some of the screamers we've had make it 
seem. They were mostly acting for the camera. You'll be very sore for 
a few days afterward, of course.

Q. I'm expecting that. Will I lose a lot of blood?

A. Not much. Our surgeon clamps off the artery and smaller vein 
bleeders, then cauterizes them very quickly. You may even be able to 
walk naked around the room after the operation to show off your new 
stump. It makes a good finish, and it'll be fun to show to your 
friends.

Q. How much will you cut off?

A. As much as you want. I suggest you leave a two-inch stump. That's 
usually adequate for pointing to piss. That will work if you have a 
fairly long cock to begin with. If you have a small cock, I suggest 
you consider having your urethra re-routed to a spot near your anus 
for a small urine outlet.

Q. I've got seven inches even when it's limp. Will that be enough for 
the first option you mentioned?

A. More than enough.

Q. Cool. Just one thing, though. He won't mess with my balls, will 
he? 

A. I'm sure he'll be very careful not to harm them. They will remain 
intact and continue to manufacture their sperm and pump out 
testosterone. You'll be frustrated out of your mind for the rest of 
your life because you can no longer masturbate, if that's what you 
want. It will be a delicious agony, relieved only by a rare orgasm 
achieved only after strenuous effort on your part, or perhaps 
someone's cock up your ass to massage your swollen prostate. 

Q. Fantastic. How soon will it heal up?

A. That depends on whether you get good medical care after you leave 
here. Whatever you do, don't stay in this country. Once your cock is 
off, we'll take you to our recovery room for a few hours to make sure 
everything's okay, but you'll need hospital care someplace else in 
your own country for at least a few days. You should be healed up 
completely in about six weeks, if you're cared for properly.

Q. Who pays the other medical bills?

A. You do. Our medical services end when you leave here. 

Q. I would like to take the cock with me. Can I have it after it's 
cut off?

A. Of course. It's your penis. I would suggest, though, that you let 
a member of our staff inject it with a chemical preservative and coat 
it with a tough, clear plastic first. This service is available for 
another two hundred dollars. If you don't have this done or fail to 
claim it within one week, it goes into the incinerator. Most of the 
body parts we amputate are left here and cremated. After all, it 
isn't the kind of thing you want to have in your pocket when you go 
through a border check in case you are searched. 

Q. I guess I'm weird to want to keep it, but my friend didn't keep 
his, and now he's sorry. Says he'd like to see it every now and then.

A. He wouldn't like what he saw after a couple of months without our 
preservation service.

Q. I really don't care that much about it, one way or the other. I 
mostly just want it off. You know, nearly everybody I know is into 
body modification these days, like tattoos, rings all over, and that 
kind of stuff. My close friends and I are in a nullification club. 
After I have this done, everybody will sit up and take notice. I'll 
take off my shorts, and they'll say, "Fantastic, man, no cock! Cool!" 
Then I'll show the video of it getting cut off, and I'll be the star 
of the show. I've wanted my cock off ever since I was a kid. Do you 
think I'm crazy?

A. I can only say that I'm grateful that people like you exist; 
otherwise, I'd be out of business. 

Q. Man, you're weird too, in your own way. But that's okay. Takes all 
kinds, I guess. Can you show me to the operating room now?

A. I'm sorry, but I've got another appointment. I can have my son do 
it, though. He's about your age. Here, I'll call him on the intercom. 
(long pause) Ah, here he is now. So long, young friend.

Q. See ya. Hi. (To the boss' son) I'm here to get my cock cut off. 
Can you take me to your operating room?

A. Sure, man. Let me take a look at it first. Would you pull down 
your pants and shorts? That's great. Shit. That's a long, fuckin' 
cock! Here. Take this marker pen and draw a circle around it where 
you want it chopped. There. That's right. Just leave an inch or two 
to piss through. Now, please walk this way with me. Hey, man. That's 
a cool cock. Nice long foreskin still on it, too. I can sell your 
cock to some weirdo I know who's into transplant experiments, and I 
can give you $3000 - you'll come out of this deal with a profit. Dad 
doesn't know about this, so don't say anything to him, if you want 
the money. Do we have a deal? 

Q. You're on, man. Go ahead and take it. I was going to keep it, but 
now that I think about it, what would I do with a piece of dead meat? 
I'd rather have the money. Hey, this is some big room. Is that the 
operating table?

A. Sure is. Just lie down on it and put your legs into those 
stirrups. It won't take long. 

Q. Looks like I got a hard on. Can I jerk off one last time?

A. Be our guest!

(The youth lies down, masturbates and squirts semen high into the 
air. The surgeon injects the youth's groin with a local anesthetic, 
waits for a few minutes, then inserts a catheter into the now--limp 
penis; he picks up a scalpel and begins to cut into the flesh around 
the black circle. He eventually completes his work, slides the 
severed penis off the catheter tube, takes it in his hand, and 
playfully tosses it to the boss' son. The young man laughs as he 
tosses it back to the teenage youth lying on the operating table. 
Catching it deftly with one hand, the youth holds his own severed 
cock in front of his face for a moment, pulls back the foreskin, 
kisses the now-exposed pink flesh of the large head, grins and tosses 
the penis back to the boss' son. He catches it, carefully pushes the 
foreskin back over the head, slips it into a plastic zip-lock bag and 
lays it gently inside a plastic container filled with ice.)