The barg

I was a straight lad, but I fell in love with a man. I was a 
connented gay man but then I met Mark. A voyage of self-discovery 

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Barg

I am writing this account because I want people to know that I am 
happy with my life and have assented to each stage that brought me 
here. I thought when I remembered the earlier stages of my story I 
would have regrets, but that has not been so.
My life has not been what I expected when I was a teenager. In my 
school days, I had hormones running through my body like any other 
lad. I dated girls, and slept with a few. I liked to make my female 
friends laugh and to make them happy, and when I did this it made 
me feel so important. Some of my friends found love with a girl, 
but I just found a series of really good friendships. My 
relationships with women though made me think I would find love 
soon enough, get married, and have children. Then a year after 
completing my degree studies, I did fall in love. With a man.
It was something of a shock to me. I’d never been homophobic at 
all, but it wasn’t what I had expected. But there was no point in 
fighting it. I knew I wanted to spend all my time with Lee and when 
we had sex and it just felt like to appropriate way of expressing 
our love.  He was not an effeminate man at all. We were just two 
regular guys who fancied each other and loved each other. After the 
initial strangeness of feeling his cock against my skin as we 
cuddled up in bed, I realised his body did really turn me on.
In those early days I would stare in the mirror at myself and say 
"Barry, you’re a gay man." And this self-acceptance was quite sexy 
in itself. So I came out to my friends as a gay man, and in the 
main they were accepting too, though I started to see less and less 
of them. I thought I was made.
Then Lee left me. Shit. I’m sorry, I guess the loss of ones first 
love is always hard, even if that love is late and unexpected. The 
problem was a simple mismatch of feelings. He wanted to move to 
pastures new, and now I have forgiven him, though I still think 
fondly of him.
For a while I dated women again. I decided to treat the whole Lee 
year as a ‘stage’ and to get back onto my previous plans again. But 
after a few months I realised I missed male contact. It had not 
been just Lee. My sexual attraction was to men even if I could find 
sleeping with a girl an amiable pastime.
For a while after that I was just a little promiscuous and had a 
number of one night stands with guys. I’m neither proud nor ashamed 
of that small spell. It was just my path to finding love again.
 I had just come the closest I ever had to forming a relationship 
with a woman when I met him. This time I knew so quickly, and even 
more than with Lee, my feelings for Mark grew by the hour.
For another year I was settled, and everyone accepted that Mark and 
Barry were a couple. I was happier than I had ever been. I would 
just stare into his lovely eyes, kiss his amazing lips, then reach 
down and take hold his gorgeous penis.  
 One morning we lay in late. It had been a night of mind-blowing 
sex.
"Is this going to be forever?" I asked, and then I was overtaken by 
worry. That’s a brave question to ask. I suddenly realised I did 
not know how to cope with a negative answer.
"It might be, yeah" he said. Then he saw my rising panic.
"God this is going to be difficult. I’ve been meaning so say this 
to you for some time, darling"
Then he explained his thoughts and his dreams, and as he did he 
could not make eye contact with me. I could tell why because what 
he was saying was preposterous, astonishing, but at the same time 
it sent a wave of warmth through my whole being.
"I’ve been on the edge of a group for some time. To an outsider 
they might be called an S & M group. But the thing is in the group 
there is a special form of union recognised. They carry out the 
ceremonials." He seemed to be hesitating.
"Would this be a master-slave union?" I had read of such things on-
line.
"Yes, Barry, I would like you to be my slave."
Before he would hear my answer, he insisted on explaining what was 
involved.
"You’ll have to make your commitment to me permanent. There is 
absolutely no way that you can break the arrangement. The words of 
the service are quite clear on that. You also have to agree to be 
my personal possession, with rights roughly equivalent to my pen, 
my table, my television. As a person you will have no rights at 
all. You understand that?" 
I nodded, but I knew there was something else. "That’s just the 
first part of the ceremony isn’t it."
"You are right. Once you have declared yourself to be no different 
from the brush I use to clean my shoes, you have to show it."
Once Mark had explained the rest of the service and why it was 
necessary, I stood by the side of the bed. I spoke in my most 
deliberate fashion.
"I never knew you were interested in this sort of relationship, but 
I need to be with you. I comply. I accept your offer to be my 
master."
The next few weeks were spent becoming word perfect with my lines. 
I wanted to say each one with the passion I felt for my future 
master. I never once considered pulling out of the ceremony. I 
looked forward to it as much as Mark.
On my last morning as free man I was taken by two of the low-
priests and prepared in an anti-chamber. . Then I passed through 
the small door down the long, long steps to the alter below. There 
must have been three thousand people in the auditorium I down 
though, each banging on a base drum. In the distance at the bottom 
I could see the alter and as I made it down the last two steps, 
Mark appeared from a side door.
First Mark made his pronouncement before the alter.
"Beings of the Zenith Order. I am here to day to declare my 
intention of taking the one before you as my slave."
Then it was my turn.
"Of generous beings of the Zenith order. I accept now that I am 
unworthy of my own freedom. I accept also to give myself utterly to 
this man as my Master. I wish to be no longer a man but just one of 
his possessions, of equal order to his washbowl, table and pen. I 
will take my place alongside those three objects within his 
chattels, and be of use to him when I can.
I also realise and fully accept that as I give up all my rights to 
be considered a man, it would be an insult to all those who are men 
for me to continue to have the form of a man."
With that I placed myself on the table of the alter  and faced 
towards the crowd. A hushed silence descended and the two low-order 
priests lifted my gown. They had anaesthetised me fully as part of 
the preparations but mirrors were arranged around the alter so that 
I had to watch the procedure. All the seats around had a TV monitor 
so everyone could witness what was about to happen.
I moved my legs apart. I wanted Mark to know how willingly I gave 
myself to him. The high priest stepped forward and made a cut along 
the base of my scrotum. I found that although I felt no pain, I was 
aware of dull feelings connected with what was happening.  He 
seemed to be making a start on my right testicle, and was slowly 
severing it from its stalk. He pulled my ball from within me and 
placed it on a small table out of sight. My left ball was taken 
from me in the same manner. 
   At this point the ceremony I had lost an important part of my 
manhood and matters could have stopped, but I had make it clear 
before hand I did not want that. If it had, I would have retained 
some of my own rights, but Mark and I had talked it over and I knew 
it wanted to own me completely. So the priest moved to the next 
stage which was to cut away my scrotum completely. This took a bit 
longer but it is most important to the Zenith that these thing be 
carried out with the proper decorum. 
We were now close to the climax of the ceremony. After this piont 
I  could now longer be a man. The priest made incissions deep into 
my body for in  this most important step it is vital that all signs 
are removed. He had to get deep to the root. It was also important 
to separate what i was losing from my urinary functions. But the 
moment did arrive when all the auxiliaries to the operation stood 
aside so the audience could see, and so I could see, as Mark 
accepted the invitation to step forward and pull on my penis. It 
just slid away from me and in one magical moment I saw it was no 
longer attached to me. I felt a mammoth wave of release that can 
not even be compared with the feeling of orgasm.
For the rest of the procedure the priest tidied up the site, and 
made arrangement for my new method of peeing. Throughout all those 
around me referred to me by my new name of the barg. They also made 
sure that the neuter pronoun was used. I was henceforth an it, 
never a he, and the sound was so right to me.
I have lived like this for some six months now. The description of 
me as just another of the Master’s possessions is some way off the 
truth really, since we still have sex sessions though the pleasure 
for me now is just in seeing the Master enjoy himself . I have no 
sexual feelings at all, though I love and respect him. We talk 
about how much he likes me like this. He always  knew he was 
sexually attracted to nullos, but he was never sure he would find 
one. But now he has me, and I too prefer my body like this, with a 
completely smooth crotch with just a small pee-hole near my anus.
But in most other respects my life is as promised. I have no status 
as a person at all, and I accept and cherish this fact. I shouldn’t 
really be using the first person pronoun, I am encouraged to use 
‘it’ or just refer to myself as ‘the barg’.
As I said at the beginning, I am what I am. It once thought it was 
a gay man, but it was wrong. It is the barg. That’s all