Boy has penectomy at his lover's request. A love story and an attempt to fulfill B-boy's story request.
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It all started because wanted to save money so I could buy a car when I got my drivers license. I applied for a summer job at the hospital cafeteria, but since I’d just turned 14, my mom had to sign a consent form. Since mom was a nurse at the hospital, I was a shoe-in and got the job. After only a few days of working there, I realized the job really sucked, but I really wanted a car and besides, I was starting to get some attention from a hot intern named Dar. Dar was probably in his mid-twenties and had a dark olive complexion and short black hair. His eyes were deep green and whenever he looked at me he exuded total confidence… dominance. He was so masculine, I felt queasy with excitement whenever he was near. Anyway, I could tell the attraction was mutual because whenever I served him, his gaze was extended, sometimes making me squirm a bit with self consciousness. He would always say, “hi” or wink whenever we’d pass in the hall. I really wanted to get to know him, but being painfully shy, I could not bring myself to initialize any rapport. It was agony waiting for him to move first, but he did eventually. The summer was nearing an end, by this time, but one day Dar told me he had a spare ticket to a local rock festival that weekend and asked if I would like to join him. Trying to hide my enthusiasm, I put on my coolest face and said, “sure”. The festival was pretty cool, a lot of big name classic rock bands were there and Dar and I found our first mutual interest while excitedly anticipating each legendary band to take the stage. The hot August day soon faded into night and started to cool. The headliner for the evening finally started to play and Dar and I both stood to get a better look. The crowd started to compact toward the front and Dar grasped my waist firmly as he positioned himself behind me. His large hands felt so strong, my knees got weak and I got an instant hard-on. I wanted to see what he meant by the sudden contact so I let my weight fall back into him. To my delight, he stood firm, wrapped his brawny arms across my front and pulled me into his pelvis making sure I could feel his own stiff cock. I turned to look at his face and without words we made the mutual decision to leave the concert right then. Dar’s tone became suddenly less formal, but quite authoritative, when we got back to his place. He was so bold, but was telling me everything I wanted to hear. “I think we’ve come to an understanding,” he told me, “and I think you know your place in this relationship.” His word was making me dizzy. All I could do was nod in agreement. “OK then,” he affirmed, “let me see that luscious body of yours; you’ve already made me wait too long.” I just kind of stood there unsure what to do; like a deer caught in a car’s headlights. “That means take your clothes off,” he prodded jokingly. I cracked a nervous smile and began to disrobe. I was a little self conscious of my body. Not only was I pretty skinny for my height, like most boys my age, but I had a somewhat pale complexion. Showing this well-developed man my scarecrow body was a little intimidating, but the look in his eyes eased me some and coaxed me to continue. Once nude, I looked at the floor feeling embarrassed and Dar approached me and tipped my chin up. “Your beautiful,” he assured, his eyes reaching within me, “don’t be ashamed.” From that point on, he gently guided me through my first sexual experience besides masturbation. He entered me every way imaginable and allowed me to suck him to climax multiple times. The whole time, not touching my penis, or allowing me to touch it. He told me I would be allowed to cum when he was finished with me. It took a long time, but I enjoyed every second of it. When Dar was finally through, he just put on a robe and went to get a snack from the fridge. He told me I could jack-off if I wanted and I promptly did, cumming quicker and harder than I ever had in my life while replaying the session in my head. It was wonderful. Afterward, Dar held me on the couch, while we watched sitcom re-runs and fell asleep. Needless to say, this kicked off a week long sexfest that tapered off when I had to return to school. We both became busy for the next six months, only meeting about once a week or so. I had school and he was finishing his residency and taking board exams and stuff. It was during this time that I decided to come out of the closet with my family. My mom and sister Heather were pretty supportive although I could tell my mom was somewhat disapproving. My dad, on the other had, was livid and essentially disowned me. I couldn’t take the dark feelings at home anymore so I decided to move in with my sister, who had an apartment near the college she attended. She was so nice to me and drove me to school everyday so I could finish out the year at my old school. The real advantage to living with Heather, however, was that her apartment was also in the same part of town as Dar’s. I spent most of my time at Dar’s place and Heather gave me all the space I needed; the freedom was great, but foreign to me. Dar was finished with his residency by this time, and had landed a job as an associate at a local urology clinic. His hours were long. Sometimes he wouldn’t be home until 7 or 8PM, but I was always there waiting to greet him with tantric sex when he came home. This arrangement kept us both very happy for the remainder of that school year. When summer started, I couldn’t bring myself to work in the cafeteria for one more summer. The only other job I was able to find was a part-time job working four hours a day at the DQ. Dar told me not to worry; that he would help me buy a car when the time came. Working only part-time did cause one other problem I couldn’t have anticipated. I had too much time on my hands, and having to wait so long for Dar to get home I would get hornier and hornier until I finally ended up masturbating to relieve the tension. Dar could tell right away something was different. I wasn’t as passionate and insatiable about lovemaking as I had been. He kept asking if anything was wrong and I denied there was a problem. He didn’t say anything more about the subject for several weeks until one day when he came home early to surprise me. He caught me whacking-off right there on the living room sofa. I was so embarrassed. I thought he would be mad, but he was very calm and simply said, “now I get it.” I looked away in shame. “What do you think we should do about this?” he queried kindly. I just shook my head. “Should I just find someone else, and let you carry on with this affair with your hand?” “Please NO!” I pleaded, breaking my silence, “I’ll do anything, I’m so sorry Dar.” “Can you assure me this will never happen again…EVER?” he demanded. “I don’t know,” I said bursting into tears. “It’s so hard.” Dar pulled me close and hugged me. We remained silent for a long time. Finally he spoke again. “I know of one surefire thing we can do to solve this problem, but it requires a lifetime commitment on your part. A commitment to me and a commitment to being a bottom for life. There is no possible way to go back.” “What is it,” I asked, “please tell me, I can do it, I’ll never want anybody else, I know it.” “Wellll…” he said, hesitating, “if you don’t have a cock, you simply won’t be able to masturbate.” He paused to gauge the effect of his words. I was in shock. I couldn’t say a word and I felt all the blood drain to my feet. He continued, “That would solve our problem and I’m certain we’d both be happier for it.” He paused again before he went on. “I won’t ask you to decide now. This is a big deal and a really major decision, I just want you to think about it. It is by no means an ultimatum, but I want you to know that if you decide to go through with it, it will secure our relationship totally.” I nervously agreed to consider it knowing my answer was probably going to be no. I spent the next several weeks immersed in absolute indecision. I couldn’t get the idea out of my mind. I was so consumed that I ended up getting fired because I couldn’t keep my head in the game. The thing that really had me concerned was that the idea was starting to grow on me. Even though Dar and I had been involved for only a short time, I already couldn’t imagine life without him. I thought about the idea of sacrificing my member to Dar and being totally submissive and reliant on him for release. It made me so hot I always ended up masturbating. Soon, I was beating off several times a day while imagining myself as Dar’s dickless sex toy. All the masturbating was now really affecting our sex life and finally Dar was fed up. One day after some particularly blah sex he sat me down and paced in front of me as he spoke. “I really didn’t want to force the issue because I know the magnitude of the decision, but I didn’t think you would get even worse. You should know that I am very unhappy with the current situation and I’m afraid I’m going to have to make it mandatory. If you will not have the penectomy, you can not have me as your lover.” I started to cry. Dar paced a few more times, then demanded, “what’ll it be?” I couldn’t believe it when I heard my own voice feebly say, “p- penectomy,” between sobs. Dar asked me to repeat myself. I cleared my throat and raised my voice, “I… I want the penectomy… I want you.” Dar’s expression instantly brightened. “Are you absolutely sure?” he asked. “Ya,” I replied, drying my tears, “I’ve been thinking about it a lot and the whole idea has actually become a real turn-on for me.” Dar started to grin widely and bite his lip. I continued, “actually, now I can’t imagine a future with a penis.” I still couldn’t believe what I was saying, but knew in my heart it was true. “Excellent!” Dar said, “I’ll make sure you don’t regret your decision. First, though, we need to kick off the process. Tomorrow, I want you to come into the clinic for an initial exam and we’ll make the rest of the arrangements from there.” That was a sleepless night for me. I was pretty secure in my decision to have it done, but I began to worry about life after. What if my family found out… or, worse yet, my friends from school. It would be so embarrassing. If anyone ever saw me, like in the shower at P.E. or at the gym or the pool, I would just die. I could just imagine how they would laugh and tease and whisper behind my back. I decided to deal with those problems as they come because my main focus was Dar and my relationship with him. He was of number one importance. The nurse at the clinic led me straight back to an exam room before I could even sit down in the reception area. She gave me one of those cheap little robes and told me to get undressed and that the Dr. would be in shortly. I did as I was asked and soon Dar entered the room with his nurse closely behind. “So,” he said, pretending not to know me, “you think you’ve found a suspicious lump?” I knew that this improvisation was for the nurses sake, but it still took me by surprise. I nodded my head. “Well, let’s have a look,” he said. He instructed me to sit on the table, which I did, and then lifted my robe and began to squish my flaccid penis between his thumb and forefinger. It suddenly occurred to me that this was the first time Dar touched my penis… ever. I ended up thinking too much about it and started to get erect. Embarrassed, I looked up at the nurse to see if she was looking, which she was. She quickly averted her eyes to save us both embarrassment. “You were right,” Dar announced, “you definitely have a lump here.” He turned to the nurse, “Lela, could you get me the biopsy set.” The nurse swiftly left the room and returned with a tray loaded with shiny instruments. Dar thanked her and asked her to leave us alone because I told him I was too embarrassed to have a nurse in the room. She did as she was told. As soon as the nurse was gone Dar locked the door and sat down on the table beside me. “He pulled a specimen jar from the pocket of his smock, held it up and said, “Sure enough, you have a tumor and it does appear to be malignant.” He then went on to tell me how he got the tumor from a friend of his at the oncology lab and he was going to send it in with my name on it to substantiate that I had cancer. This was all to leave a proper paper trail for legal purposes; the ultimate goal being a penectomy for the treatment of my “cancer”. He then went on to explain the penectomy procedure to me in full and vivid detail. My cock remained throbbing hard throughout his whole explanation, especially when he said, “you don’t really need a cock anyway since I’ll never allow you to fuck me or anyone else. I can tell you love the idea of being my penisless passion slave.” When he was done speaking he asked me if I had any questions. I asked if it would be possible for me to ever cum again. His answer was a blunt and shocking “probably not”. In order to make it look like he performed a real biopsy, Dar applied a local, made an incision near the head of my cock, and stitched it back shut. Then he opened the door and called Lela back into the room. He handed her the specimen jar and told her to have it sent to the lab to be tested for malignancy. Then he took me to the reception area, handed me a form and told me to fill it out and have my mother sign it. He also told the receptionist to reschedule me for an appointment the following afternoon. I left the clinic filled with thoughts of being in a perpetual state of sexual excitement and urgency. I had to wonder if I could take it. I would find out soon enough. I went home to wait for Heather to get home from class so she could give me a ride to mom and dad’s house so I could get the parental consent form signed. I wondered how I would explain to my mom why I needed the consent for signed for urological treatment. I decided to just tell her that I have a kidney infection. I figured this would be only the first of many potentially embarrassing situations I would have to diffuse from now on and I might as well get use to it. I told mom my rehearsed story when I asked her to sign and she seemed to buy it without question. I was so relieved. “How are you going to pay for your treatment ?” she asked while she signed. I told her not to worry that I would use some of my car money to cover it. She told me how proud she was of me for being able to make it so well on my own and that I should come see her more often. “I’ll make sure your father leaves you alone,” she assured. I told her I would even though I knew I would be very uncomfortable there, especially after my pending modification. I took the form and Heather and I headed for home. On my next appointment with Dar, I was better prepared to act the part for the rest of the staff at the clinic. When Dar told me the “news” about me having cancer, I acted surprised and distraught. I even started to cry. “It’s good that we caught it this early,” Dar said in mock assurance, “if we remove the affected area immediately, you should recover fully without any further complications.” “What does that involve,” I asked, sniffling and pretending I didn’t have a clue. “Removal of the penis,” was his curt reply. “Oh my God!” I choked turning on the waterworks again. The nurse attending Dar handed me some tissue. The look of concern on her face was so genuine, I almost felt bad deceiving her so. “We should get this done as soon as possible to be sure the malignancy is contained and cannot spread.” Dar continued matter-of- factly. “You can’t take any chances with cancer.” I nodded, feigning reluctant resolve. Dar told the nurse to schedule me for amputation the following Monday. She did and I left the clinic with my appointment card. The time and the day were set. That card was my ticket to eternal sexual arousal with no release. That weekend I did not see Dar at all. I spent the whole time home alone at Heather’s apartment taking advantage of every last second I had with my departing friend. I must have beat-off once every hour during those final two days. It seemed ironic that my cock would get so hard time and again at the thought of it being forever absent and that I would cum time and again at the thought of never cumming again. Also over the course of that weekend, I must have felt like backing out a hundred times, but those thoughts were fleeting and easily overcome by stronger thoughts of wanting it done. I wanted that thing gone worse than ever. That weekend proved what kind of a slave I was to my dick and that I needed it out of my life. I would much rather be Dar’s slave. Time flew. Before I knew it I was in the clinic, on the table with my legs in stirrups, being shaved by the nurse in preparation for surgery. After shaving me, she applied betadine to my entire crotch area turning it orange. She then positioned the lights and assembled a tray with clamps, scalpels, sutures, etc. I was very aroused, but at the same time scared out of my wits. The fear prevented any possibility of a hard-on which was convenient. Just as the nurse was finishing laying out the instruments, Dar breezed into the room and without a word picked a giant syringe from the tray. He made several painful injections in my crotch and penis which soon settled into a warm, puffy feeling. While Dar was giving quiet instructions to the nurse, all the feeling slowly left my genital area. I would never feel the sensation of having a penis again. Dar darted out of the room again and the nurse erected a curtain so I couldn’t see the lower half of my body. Then she left and I was alone with my fearful thoughts for what seemed like an hour. The both eventually returned; scrubbed and wearing their masks and gloves. Dar sat on a stool in front of me, between my legs and the nurse stood next to the tray at his side. Dar started calling for instruments and working away. I could only see the top of his head over the curtain and I could only feel slight tugging sensations. I was very light headed by this time and couldn’t tell how much time had passed. It only seemed like minutes had passed when I heard Dar ask the nurse for a biohazard bag. I looked up to see Dar placing my severed cock in a pink plastic bag the nurse was holding open. Without fanfare, she nonchalantly dropped the bag in a stainless receptacle near the foot of the operating table. I heard it “thunk” when it hit bottom. Seeing my penis separate from my body and the way the nurse handled it was so surreal, I was certain it was all a dream. After that, all their words faded to mush and I fell asleep… or passed out; I don’t know which. I awoke laying flat on my back. I was still groggy and unsure of my surroundings. A nurse was milling about cleaning things up. When she saw I was awake she went to get Dar. As my head started to clear I realized I was starting to feel a dull ache in my groin. The realization hit. It was done; my penis was only a memory for me now. I sat up with relative ease, but did not yet work up the courage to look. I thought maybe if I didn’t look, it wouldn’t be real. But after awhile I thought I could still feel it there. Logically, I knew it must be the phantom pains that all amputees feel, but curiosity compelled me to check for sure. I lifted my gown. Sure enough, there was nothing left where my penis was, but some stitches and a couple of drain tubes. My urethral opening was now between my ball sack and my anus. It was a real novelty to see my balls there, all by themselves and I just stared for the longest time no able to get over how funny it looked. The nurse returned with Dar and they caught me admiring my condition. The nurse politely excused herself leaving Dar and I alone. “Feeling alright,” he asked. I nodded. “Good. The surgery went well and I expect you’ll recover quickly. You’ll need to stay here for another hour or so, then you can go home and take it real easy. I called Heather to come pick you up.” “Ohmigod!” I interrupted, “You didn’t tell her did you?” “Of course not,” he said soothingly, “I just told her you had an allergic reaction to some medication and needed a ride home.” I sighed in relief. “Call my pager if you have any problems, notice any bleeding or anything like that. And leave the catheter in; I’ll remove it for you when it’s time.” Then he stared into my eyes and said, “You’ve made me very happy. I’m proud of you for being brave and going through with it. You will not be sorry.” I just smiled and he kissed me on the forehead and left. I laid down and fell asleep again. I was awakened by Dar some time later and found that the pain had increased. He handed me a bottle of pain killers and told me that Heather was waiting for me. I walked carefully to the lobby, but tried not to be too obvious about my pain to avoid any sensitive questions from Heather. She hugged me and asked if I was OK. I told her that I was feeling much better, but was still a little queasy. She kindly walked me out to the car and took me home where she made a comfortable spot for me on the sofa and started tending to me like a sick child. At first I was afraid she might suspect something, but then I remembered that she always treated me this kindly. I had to take some pain killers by this time, and as soon as they started to work, my mind became obsessed with my modified condition. I looked at my sweats and thought I could easily see considerably less bulge in them. I felt sure that Heather would be able to tell, but assured myself that my sister would never look at my crotch long enough to see. Thinking about the absence in my pants started to really turn me on and I realized that nothing was stirring down there. There would never again be any outward evidence of my arousal. I felt a little absurd. Here it was only hours after it was gone and I already ached to beat my meat. For the next three weeks, I saw Dar only every other day or so. He would check my progress, and if my sister wasn’t home, demand a blowjob, which I eagerly gave. When ever he left, I would be in an absolute sexual frenzy, wishing I had some way to cum. I tried fondling my lonesome balls, but that only served to build my excitement with no release. Rubbing the area of my excised penis or playing with my relocated pee hole did not produce the kind of pleasurable sensation needed for orgasm, if any at all. I did, however, have a near constant flow of sticky, clear pre-cum oozing from the urethra. Despite the regret, I was still enormously turned on by my dickless condition and marveled at my new look as I monitored the healing process. Once the drain tubes and stitches were removed, it became hard to tell if I ever had a penis at all; just balls. It was just about time for me to start my Junior year of High School. I had decided that I wanted to move in with Dar, and, of course, he wanted it, too. Before I could do it though, I had to tell Heather about my involvement with Dar and asked her if she would help to cover for me by letting mom continue to believe that I was living with her. Heather didn’t act at all surprised. In fact, she said that she’d suspected all along. “You two acted just a little too aloof towards each other whenever you were around me,” she laughed. Then her expression suddenly changed to near tearfulness and she said, “I’m going to miss you baby brother. You’ve been the best roommate I ever had. You were even starting to leave the toilet seat down. That’s gotta be a one in a million shot to find a male roommate who does that.” Little did she know I no longer had a choice, but I just let her believe that I was just that considerate. I assured her I’d still come around and then started to pack my things. She helped me and we had a wonderful time that day. I’d never felt closer to any member of my family. Right after I got moved in to Dar’s place, I had to start school. Of course I was very nervous about being around my friends for the first time after the operation. I was scared to death that anyone would find out. My fear was further complicated by the fact that P.E. was a required course for Juniors and required physical exams and showers. I wondered how I was going to skirt the subject without causing some kind of suspicion and subsequent speculation. I knew the kind of cruel rumors high school kids can spread. I voiced my concern to Dar, who readily came to my rescue. He wrote a note to the school that said that I suffered from a rare heart condition, I think he called it tachicardia or something like that, and I should be excused from all physical activities. I even got one of those handicapped parking permits to go along with it. The biggest surprise of the school year is that Dar bought me a car. It was a Miata. I was speechless when he gave it to me. I think the fact that he was serious enough to buy e such a gift made me happier than having a car. In either case, life was good. It was exciting to living with Dar. The total privacy allowed both of us to lose our inhibitions and since I was getting well healed, we started into rougher sex again. I began to reap the benefit of my sacrifice at this time. During the day, the total sexual arousal and frustration built until Dar arrived home and then I would be taken to dizzying heights of passion; the kind I’d never imagined possible. And I did find some release, much to my surprise. I would have a kind of full body orgasm (I think) that caused me to convulse in ecstasy. This was totally unlike the kind of orgasm I’d come to know from my previous life and did not result in thrusting and spurting like before. I was now just left with a flush, tingly sensation and an excess of ooze from my urethra. I am suppose that it could be best described as an orgasm of the mind, rather than the pure mechanical, ejaculation-based orgasm of the unmodified male; the kind that Dar kept having again and again. Whatever it was, it was very gratifying, but always left me hungry for more. I started to get use to my state of constant arousal, and it began to feel normal. Well, it has been several years now since my penectomy and I’m still glad I had it done. Life does tend to be a little more complicated. I always have to decline from going to the pool, health club or hot tubbing, in order to keep my secret a secret. I do still feel remorse from time to time and wonder what life would be like if I still had a cock, but those moments are fleeting. The negative feelings are always soon replaced by the gratification of knowing my place and realizing that I can only ever be a sex slave for those with a dick, like my forever lover, Dar.