Mothers' Union Meeting

A hospital surgeon giving a talk to a Mothers' Union Meeting makes 
a case for castration as a sensible routine health precaution for 
men

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Mothers' Union Meeting

"And now I call upon Sally Caffrey to introduce our guest 
speaker."  The chairperson, a motherly soul in her fifties looked 
at the twenty or so mothers who'd braved the cold wet weather to be 
at the meeting that miserable November afternoon. She could 
remember when their little village had been a remote country hamlet 
and all the mothers had been the wives of farm workers; simple folk 
who were content to age gently with the roll of the seasons year 
after year. 

Today the village was prime commuter country. Those farm workers 
still left on the land lived on the nearby council estate.  Their 
old cottages had been taken over by professionals from the city and 
modernised beyond the wildest dreams of the original residents. 
These mothers were, for the most part, professionals in their own 
right.  Either they worked from home or were taking a few years off 
from their careers while their children were young. Even so there 
was a sprinkling of more mature women in the audience.

Sally Caffrey gave the potted biography of guest speaker Dr. Angela 
Grey, general surgeon. "Currently Dr. Grey is head of surgery at 
Minster General Hospital." Sally paused for a moment and added with 
some excitement: "And what she's going to tell us this afternoon 
will shake your tits off."

That got a laugh and a round of applause as Sally took her seat and 
Dr. Grey rose to her feet. The chairperson, a country gentle-woman 
of the old school winced at Sally's turn of phrase. That kind of 
vulgarity would never have been heard in the old days.

"Thank you Sally," Angela Grey," said with a smile. "What I have to 
say will  not harm your  mammaries in the slightest but I do hope 
it will interest you."

The chairperson nodded approvingly at the speaker's opening. She'd 
known Angela Grey from childhood and watched her grow up. A fine 
girl from a good local family. She was in her thirties now, well 
groomed, poised and well spoken with a good clear county accent 
that rang with confidence. Still, she could do with losing a few 
pounds, reflected the chairperson who could have done with losing a 
lot more pounds herself.

"The topic is men's health," said Angela. "with the emphasis on how 
to maintain it."

Angela paused and took in her audience, making sure that she had 
their interest. "The first question is why should we as women 
bother about men's health? At the very least, from a purely selfish 
point of view, we need a father for our children. Secondly, as far 
as I can see, being a man's widow comes a very distant second to 
being his wife."

Angela noticed the nods of agreement from some older women in the 
audience. She presumed they were widows. She heard a muttered 'hear 
hear' from the chairperson who was, Angela remembered, also a widow.

"Finally of course we want to keep our man fit and well so that he 
can be a contributing companion in our old age, rather than a 
burden to be nursed."

Angela could see a few handkerchiefs and some eye-dabbing in the 
audience. Those women were still missing their husbands.

"The biggest killers of men today are cardio-vascular disease and 
cancer. Most of my work as a general surgeon is fighting these 
diseases. What is the root cause of these diseases?"

"We have found that what is killing men is the very thing that 
makes them men. It is ironically the male hormone, testosterone."

"Testosterone is a direct cause and a promoter of prostate and some 
other cancers. The treatment is to remove the testosterone and the 
cancer ceases to advance. Then with a little help from chemotherapy 
the cancer even goes into remission, often for the rest of the 
patient's natural life."

"The question arises: how do we remove the testosterone?  Initially 
we used drugs to suppress testosterone production. This is often 
referred to in the press as chemical castration. Some of the States 
in America are using it as part of the sentencing for rapists and 
child molesters."

"However, the treatment is expensive, ongoing forever and there are 
inconvenient and unpleasant side effects. Some of our patients 
found this to be such a problem that they stopped taking the drugs 
and the cancer returned. "

Angela paused, noting her audience was totally absorbed in what she 
was saying.

"Now we came to a major psychological hurdle promoted by our 
western culture. Medicine is very much a male dominated field and 
western males hold their testicles to be sacred. It's ok for women 
to have routine hysterectomies, including their ovaries but nothing 
like that for men. They'd sooner die than have their testicles 
removed. Well, a lot of them have died. Many are still dying"

"Eventually we came to the conclusion that it was better to remove 
the testicles than die from prostate cancer. We found, that once 
they'd got over the shock and actually came to terms with the idea 
most men accepted that an orchidectomy wasn't such a terrible thing 
after all and was a lot better than dying."

"We did a lot of follow up work on those cases. First of all it 
stopped the advance of the cancer provided it was still confined to 
the prostate. Secondly we found a marked improvement in the 
patient's cardiovascular condition. Thirdly, the psychologists who 
counselled the patient and his wife found a remarkable improvement 
in outlook and attitude. It was as if they had come to terms with 
themselves and their lives. They seemed to have resolves their 
inner conflicts. Their marriages improved and their wives reported 
that they were much nicer people to live with." 

"Their sex lives by that stage were already virtually non-existent 
and no-one reported a problem in that area."

"The interesting thing for us was the improvement in the 
cardiovascular systems. We did some research using testosterone 
suppressant drugs on cardiovascular patients and noted the same 
improvement. Cardiovascular disease is now thought to be caused by 
bacteria rather than by diet and lifestyle. Testosterone in the 
blood stream promotes the growth of the bacteria and consequently 
the disease they cause. In fact it appears that the body can itself 
recover from the damage when the bugs are longer promoting the 
disease. Those patients in the trial all improved but most 
deteriorated again once the testosterone levels were allowed to 
revert to normal."

"So we have shown fairly conclusively and certainly to my 
satisfaction that testosterone is a dangerous thing to have in your 
bloodstream."

"Let's look at some of the other effects of testosterone: its 
effects on personality. Testosterone is a steroid, the same family 
of chemicals that weight lifters and body builders take to help 
muscle development.  All steroids, including testosterone, promote 
bad temper. There is often a violent response to a minor 
provocation. This is a cause of road rage and why men get into 
fights outside the pub after their social conditioning has been 
dulled by alcohol. Testosterone again."

"Of course you may well say to me that your man is gentle and well 
behaved. Many men are but even so they all have that stupid 
machismo or male ego. It clouds their judgement and causes them to 
take unnecessary risks."

"Another effect is lust. We all know from our own experience that 
once a man's sexual interest is aroused he can be difficult to 
stop." Angela paused for the nods of and murmurs of cheerful 
agreement. In this area she was one expert talking to other 
experts.  "I think too that most of us know very well how easy it 
is to use lust to control a man and get him to do something he 
otherwise wouldn't."

Again Angela paused for the amused agreement before adding "Like 
propose marriage for example." The audience laughed. They'd all 
used sex to manipulate a man.

"I think that getting a man to marry you is a legitimate 
exploitation of his sexual vulnerability. However while you are at 
home lovingly looking after his children there is always the danger 
that some little floozy out there is also exploiting his weakness 
too - and that is most certainly not legitimate."

"A woman can so easily make an awful fool of a man that way. Look 
what Monica did to Bill. And again the culprit is testosterone."

"Now having looked at the bad effects of testosterone, what are its 
good points? Firstly it turns boys into men. It makes them big and 
strong and handsome with beards and deep voices. Testosterone makes 
it possible for us to turn men into lovers, husbands and fathers."

Angela paused. Now she was coming to her main point. "After that we 
don't need it any more and neither does the man himself. At that 
stage he is much better off without it.  After that it can make a 
fool of him and in the end it will kill him. "

An intrigued murmur ran around the audience. Was Angela saying what 
they thought she was saying?

"I believe that over the next decade or so, removal of the 
testicles from men in their forties will come to be seen as a wise 
and sensible routine health precaution."

And as the audience gasped its amazement, Angela sat down. Someone 
started clapping and it rapidly swelled to a hearty round of 
applause from the small audience. As it died away the Chairperson 
rose and said to Angela and the audience "My dear. You can't leave 
it there. I'm sure there are questions."

There were. "What about sex?"

"People vary a lot when it comes to sex. From your fifties onward, 
it's a lot less important in your life than at say your twenties. 
So the loss of the ability to have intercourse it's certainly not 
the tragedy it would have been when he was much younger. Secondly 
erectile dysfunction is so prevalent these days that in many cases 
you don't lose anything at all. Well nothing that isn't lost 
already."

"Thirdly, a man without testicles is certainly able to provide the 
tender caresses that his wife will need. If she wants anything 
beyond that it is possible to stick on patches such as women use in 
hormone replacement therapy except that they supply testosterone 
and not oestrogen. Those patches are very rapid acting. Provided 
there's nothing else wrong, he will be back to his old self in 
three hours."

"You can have a scenario where 'tonight's the night darling.' You 
stick a patch on his butt and start the foreplay. In fact because 
his cardiovascular system is in better shape he will often get a 
better erection that way than he could before his castration."

"Of course, you shouldn't do that more than once a week or you 
negate the benefits of the castration."

"How will you get men to agree to it?" was the next question.

"With difficulty," Angela said. It means changing the culture. Men 
are very attached to their testicles and tend to identify them with 
their manhood. In fact their  manhood is in the brain, not the 
balls. Getting men off testosterone is very like getting a drug 
addict off his habit. But what do they get out of it really? A few 
seconds of orgasm now and again and that's more often than not from 
masturbation. And don't you think there's something undignified and 
distasteful about a man jerking off? Somehow it's different for 
women. And for those very brief moments of pleasure they risk their 
health and their lives." Angela paused here. "You could say that 
male orgasm is nature's great con trick on men. In fact it is a 
built in drug addiction. Like all addictions its benefits are 
illusory and are never worth the harm it does."

"What about the actual procedure of removing the testes?" Someone 
asked.

"It's simple, painless and safe. It's done under a local 
anaesthetic and the patient is awake all the time. The procedure is 
to shave the genitals carefully and apply a mild disinfectant to 
the skin surface.  Usually it produces a pleasant tingling 
sensation and the patient gets a strong erection from it."  Angela 
continued to describe the procedure in such graphic detail that 
some members of the audience were quite shocked to find themselves 
developing a moistness in an area where that seldom happened at 
Mother's Union meetings.

"So how are you going to persuade men to have it done?"

"By changing the culture. Castration will become the smart 
intelligent thing to do. Only thick idiots will still be intact 
after fifty. Once we make people aware of the benefits we think it 
will catch on."

"Would you have your husband done?"

Angela smiled at this one and paused for a moment. "I already have. 
We've got three children and I want him around for a long time. 
Neither of us needs testosterone in his bloodstream. Except perhaps 
now and again, just for fun."

There were a lot a more questions but the chairperson was having a 
feeling that she'd wanted to get home and have a long soak in a hot 
tub. She called the meeting to order, got Nancy Gayle to thank the 
speaker and declared the meeting closed.

Driving back to her large empty house, the chairperson found 
herself wishing that dear George hadn't passed away. She'd love for 
him still to be here so she could have his balls cut out. Not only 
would it serve him right but it would be good for him. She loved 
the idea.