Lonnie had just begun a promising career as a girls' gymnastics coach when he was confronted with a problem that threatened to ruin his career, his marriage, and his life. His cute, petite little teenage students kept trying to seduce him. His wife, Sandra, presented him with a solution. Those little cuties wouldn't find her husband nearly so attractive if he was no longer a man. Sandra decided she not only wanted her husband castrated, but completely nullified. After considering all his options, Lonnie had little choice but to accept his fate. Lonnie is now happily pursuing his successful career as a girl's gymnastics coach. Although he will spend his life surrounded by beautiful, sexy, teenage vixens, he will do so as a harmless nullified eunuch.
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Luncheon Speaker #1: The Gymnast At a fantasy conference hosted by the Eunuch Archive our luncheon speaker on the first day was young man in his late twenties, named Lonnie. He was accompanied on the podium by his beautiful young wife, Sandra. Lonnie had opted to be not only castrated, but completely nullified in order to save his career and his marriage. The couple said that after relating their story they would be glad to answer questions from the audience. Lonnie had been an athlete and a gymnast in college. Upon graduation, with a masters degree in Physical Education, he entered a promising career as a girls' gymnastics coach. He married his wife, Sandra, and they had two children early in their marriage. Although his career was off to a great start, he encountered a nagging problem that threatened to ruin his career and his life. His little teenage students were becoming too fond of their handsome young coach. "In my job," said Lonnie, "I'm constantly surrounded by the most superb examples of beautiful, athletic, young women you can possibly imagine. Most of the girls range in age from twelve to seventeen. During practice and training the girls often dress more skimpily than you see them dressed in competition. Bikini-style costumes with T-backed, or thong bottoms are very popular. My job requires me to constantly have my hands all over these perfect little bodies, all glowing and radiating their budding feminine sexuality. I have to hold them so they can safely go through new maneuvers and routines. I help them stretch and limber up. Often I am required to massage sore or tight little muscles. Of course I have to maintain a professional bearing and stay focused on my job. I am there to help these young ladies develop their athletic abilities and build confidence in themselves. But they can certainly be a distraction, if you know what I mean." Chuckles rumbled through the crowd. Then Lonnie's wife, Sandra, who had been standing beside her husband on the podium, took the microphone. Sandra was cute, petite, and had been a competitive gymnast herself in high school and college. She and Lonnie had gotten married right after graduation. "It was about two years into our Marriage," said Sandra, "When I began to notice something was a little strange. Well, out of the ordinary to say the least. When Lonnie made love to me at night, his orgasms became increasingly intense and explosive. He was so frantic - so out of control - then when he came it was so devastating. His eyes would roll back in his head and sometimes he would lose consciousness for a few seconds. He often wanted to have sex two and three times a night. Now I knew I should think this was great, but it had never been like this when we were just living together in college. What had changed? Was I getting better for him? My god! He was becoming such an animal in bed!" Chuckles and a few cheers arose from the luncheon crowd. "It was on our vacations," Sandra continued, "when I first became suspicious. We would rent a beach house or a ski cabin for a week and after two or three days Lonnie's sex drive would settle down - to normal. We would still have great sex, but we were more like a normal couple our age. We would have sex once a night, Lonnie would have an orgasm and we would lay there and kiss and cuddle in the afterglow, listening to the surf and watching the moonlight dance on the water. "But this was backwards. Most people told me that their sex lives tended to become humdrum while living in the workaday world, but being alone with their lover in a remote, romantic location acted as an aphrodisiac. However, when Lonnie and I returned from our vacations, Lonnie's sex drive would always pick up and he would become the bedroom animal again. "Suddenly I felt like shit! I finally realized it wasn't me who was turning him on so wildly. It had to be the girls Lonnie worked with every day. Lonnie had just been using my body to release the passions he had developed for the young gymnastics students. When I confronted him, he admitted it was true." "Now I never misbehaved with any of the girls," said Lonnie, "but my mind was always contemplating the unthinkable. You guys out there must understand how I felt. Imagine working in a job where you are always having to put your hands on one of those solid, perfectly-rounded little rumps, exposed by a pair of skimpy T- backs - or having to massage a muscle cramp out of a shapely little thigh. Do that, and see how hard it is to keep your mind focused on kinesiology or building character and confidence. Chuckles and giggles rumbled through the crowd. "And to make things worse," Lonnie continued, "the girls knew the effect they were having on me and they enjoyed it thoroughly. Biology does not respect our legal codes or moral conventions. These girls were at the age where their hormones were literally exploding. At that age they are just discovering they possess something that gives them power over men and they enjoy playing with it like a new toy. They would flirt, tease, and taunt me with their eyes and their actions. It was usually subtle and discreet, but it was flirting and teasing nonetheless. "At first I gave them the benefit of the doubt. I figured it must all be on a subconscious level with them. I rationalized that the girls didn't really know what they were doing. After all, I was the adult here. I was supposed to provide leadership and be a role model. I was supposed to be the person they could trust and depend on. I just needed to exercise a little maturity and moral discipline and not succumb to their coquettish games. "But the girls kept teasing and taunting, ever so subtly, drawing me toward that arbitrary and ill-defined boundary of acceptable behavior. The girls were testing me, seeing how far they could make me go. Some of the girls started having far too many muscle cramps in their inner thigh muscles. They would look up at me with big innocent eyes and sigh and moan sensuously while I massaged them. When I noticed that the crotch of their tights were getting wet with secretions when I did this, I realized things were going too far. I was allowing myself to be drawn past the limit. I was helpless and the girls knew this. I was falling completely under their power. "This realization scared the shit out of me. For the girls it was just a game. If things went too far and I got caught they would just get another gymnastics coach and have some fun stories to tell and giggle about at their next slumber party. I, on the other hand, would be looking at a ruined life and many years in prison. Sandra would almost surely leave me and I would have nothing. I knew my situation was desperate and something had to be done soon. But I lacked courage and hadn't a clue as what to do about it. I am so glad Sandra confronted me when she did - before it was too late." "At least Lonnie confessed and confided in me," Sandra said. "This allowed us to discuss the problem and come up with a solution before it ruined our lives. Of course I was upset - any wife would be. But Lonnie hadn't really done anything and he wanted to remain faithful to me. He was honest with me; he was trying; and I respected him for that. "We looked at our options. We had always had a dream of owning our own gymnastics school and modern dance studio - I teach both. Our kids were old enough now I didn't mind leaving them in day care and we were just about ready to make the move into our own business. We even had a building picked out and the rent was right. "We knew there were many male coaches who coached girls' gymnastics, and surely most of them didn't have Lonnie's problem. Lonnie couldn't help it. I don't blame him, but his personality just interacted that way with girls in that age group. Lonnie has always looked younger than he really is, and I think these girls saw him more as a potential boyfriend than an adult coach. He was just 26 years old at the time. "We thought about giving up our dream. Maybe we could go to some small community and Lonnie could get a job coaching high school football or basketball, although he doesn't really care for either of those sports. I would have to take whatever work was available. We would never have our own business and always work for someone else. Our dream would become nothing more than a memory of a fantasy. "We decided this was unacceptable. In the city where we lived there was ample demand for our talents. Lonnie and I were a team. We knew we could make a combination gymnastics school and modern dance studio hum. All that stood between us and the pursuit of our dream was that teenage girls always wanted to seduce Lonnie. They didn't realize - at least I hope they didn't consciously realize - that what would be a few minutes of naughty, giggling fun for them would ruin Lonnie's life forever." "Yes," said Lonnie, "I tried desperately to think of something else I might do. Gymnastics is the thing I'm really good at though. It's my whole life. If I had tried anything else I would have just been mediocre and I would never have realized my potential. I thought about just teaching boys' gymnastics, but there isn't enough interest to teach just boys. We have a few boys enrolled at our studio now, but well over ninety percent of gymnastics students are girls. It's the moms from the affluent suburbs who enroll their daughters in gymnastics and modern dance that keeps our business thriving." "After a full month of research and talking to a lot of people in chat rooms," said Sandra, "I finally had a proposal to put to Lonnie. I didn't know if he would accept what I had to say. In fact, I expected him to reject it and say, 'No way!' I told him I would understand if he wanted to change careers. I would even get a job and support him if he wanted to go back to school. But I told him that after thoroughly researching the matter, and talking with people in chat rooms who had experience with this, I knew of only one thing that would keep his life from being ruined by a bunch of sexy little teenage vixens. If he wanted to continue his career as a girls' gymnastics coach he would have to be castrated. "Instead of reacting negatively or jumping up and saying, 'Hell no!' Lonnie just looked up at me pitifully and began to shake and cry. He recognized the truth in my words. "I allowed this to soak in a little bit before I continued. Then I told him that, furthermore, I didn't think he should go just halfway. I wanted him to be completely safe. I recommended he undergo complete nullification. "Lonnie didn't quite know what I meant until I explained it to him. I told him about the complete removal of the penis and the rerouting of the urethra to allow him to pee sitting down. I told him there was a clinic in Thailand that could do the whole thing safely and relatively economically. The operation would actually cost less than our air fare. Lonnie began to jerk and shake like a man with a high fever who was getting the chills. "Lonnie actually did get sick. I put him to bed and he stayed there two days, just jerking, shaking and crying. I don't think I ever fully realized how important a man's genitals are to him until I watched Lonnie going through this. Contemplating the loss of his manhood must have been unbearably traumatic. I kept telling him he didn't have to do it. We could do something else. Things would work out. But he knew if he wanted to keep coaching girls' gymnastics the course I had laid out for him was the proper route to take. Poor Lonnie, sex had always been such an important part of his life." "That's true," said Lonnie. "Not to be bragging, but I've always attracted girls. I probably got laid more than any other guy in my high school. My first time was with my baby-sitter when I was twelve. Whenever I wanted sex, all I had to do was be where the girls were. I could always find some who were more than willing. I've been faithful to Sandra though. Ever since we moved in together during our senior year in college, I quit messing around. Of course now a couldn't mess around even if I wanted to." There was a rumble of uneasy laughter in the audience. Someone asked Lonnie if he ever missed having sex. "Not really," he replied. "Oh, I did at first. The first few weeks were the worst. I even cried quite a bit. That seems so silly now. I've been a nullo for over three years, and my memories of sex are a lot like childhood memories. You know, all the playground games you used to play; playing in a tree house; swinging on an old tire swing; that sort of stuff. I remember sex the same way. They are happy memories, but it doesn't bother me at all to realize I will never be doing those things again. I will never have sex with Sandra, or any other woman, again, but neither will I ever play tag or hide-and-go-seek on the school playground again. It doesn't bother me and it's do big deal." A member of the audience asked Lonnie if being nullified was a painful experience, and what medical problems he encountered. "Actually, the trauma of the operation was not nearly as bad as I had feared. There was little serious pain. I would describe it more as discomfort, and this mostly went away after the first month. After four months had passed I pretty much looked and felt like I had been born that way - you know, a nullo. "The worst thing was the incontinence. I had to wear an adult diaper for a couple of months and I had to wear panty liners for over a year. I had to do special exercises every day to regain control of my bladder function. I will have to do these exercises for the rest of my life, but being in an athletic profession where I work out every day this is no problem. If you're a couch potato though, and don't like to exercise, I wouldn't recommend being nullified." Uneasy chuckles and rumbling whispers sifted through the crowd. "What about hot flashes?" someone asked. "I had quite a few of those the first year," he said, "but they became less frequent and less intense as my body adjusted to my new hormone levels. I never took estrogen because I didn't want to grow breasts or necessarily become more feminine. I'm satisfied being a eunuch and your body will adjust over time if you let it." Referring to Lonnie's mention of panty liners, an audience member asked what kind of underwear Lonnie wore since his operation. "Well, men's briefs are too baggy in the crotch now," said Lonnie. "I don't like all that excess material wadding up between my legs. I actually prefer the feel and fit of women's panties. I like those soft cotton women's panties. They're the most comfortable. I only wear nylon panties when I go out somewhere with Sandra. She says it makes her feel sexy to know she has me dressed like that." "Do nylon panties make you feel sexier?" someone asked. "Well, I'm not sure I can really feel sexy anymore," said Lonnie, blushing a bit, "but it does make me feel more vulnerable and effeminate. I suppose, for a nullified eunuch, you could equate that with feeling sexy." "What about swimsuits?" another audience member asked. "I have difficulty finding men's swimsuits that fit me. Most of them have this big pouch that looks silly flopping around empty between my legs. Of course I can always wear those knee-length baggies, but I hate them. Sometimes I just buy a woman's two-piece and wear the bottoms. Those fit fine." Another audience member asked Lonnie if the girls still teased him and tried to get him to do sexy things to them. After all, it would still be possible to get in trouble for things like genital touching or oral sex. "No," said Lonnie. "That's no longer a problem. The girls don't perceive me in the same way anymore. Somehow, I don't exude the male aura (for lack of a better term) that used to excite them. I don't get those spirited, coquettish glances or the big-eyed innocent looks they used to flash at me. The girls perceive that I am different and they react to me differently. Sandra and I both teach there at our studio and the girls react no differently to me than they react to Sandra. "The girls are very casual in front of me. For instance, they often pay no attention to my presence when undressing. However, they don't do it in a seductive or teasing way. It's just matter of fact - like I was just one of the girls or something. At first I derided them for undressing in front of a man and they thought that was so silly. Why should I possibly care - or why should they? Then I realized they were right. I really wasn't a man anymore. The girls don't react to me as a male at all. I don't trigger their modesty reflex. Oh yes, it's also been a long time since I've had to massage a muscle cramp out of a girl's an inner thigh! I guess those warm-up stretches are working better now, huh?" Uneasy laughter ricocheted through the crowd. Someone asked Sandra if she missed having sex with Lonnie. "I wouldn't be completely truthful," Sandra said, "if I told you I didn't miss it just a little. I still have all my hormones and I certainly miss feeling that animal-like urgency in Lonnie's body when we made love. I miss his powerful thrusts deep into what he used to call 'my warm, silky heaven. I miss the satisfaction I used to receive from knowing I was sending wonderful, almost unbearable, waves of pleasure into his body through that big throbbing piston of his. I miss holding him in me, engulfed and trapped, with my legs around his - locked and fused. I miss feeling my powerful little vaginal muscles, grip and milk him until he shrieks and surrenders to his orgasm. I miss feeling his hot cream squirt deep inside me. "Yes, I miss those moments," she said, taking time to sip water from a glass that was setting on the lectern, "but it is a trade- off. Since Lonnie's operation I have talked to several other women who are married to eunuchs. We will all attest that eunuchs are much better at cuddling and snuggling than virile men. Also, Lonnie has learned to focus on my pleasure and bring me to heights I never dreamed were possible. I have a whole dresser full of sex toys and Lonnie has become an expert at using them on me." An audience member asked Sandra if she wasn't taking a selfish attitude and if she didn't care at all about Lonnie's pleasure or happiness. Sandra started to answer, but Lonnie interrupted her. "I would like to answer that, if I may," said Lonnie. "When Sandra and I made the decision to have me nullified it was a mutual decision. It was my choice as much as hers. Neither of us regret that decision. As far as my pleasure is concerned, it would be impossible to restore the capability I once had for sexual desire and orgasm. What's done is done and nothing can ever change that. However, as Sandra said, it's been a trade-off. I have learned to feel a pleasure far superior to what I experienced back in my old orgasmic days. It's different, but pleasure nonetheless, and I consider it superior. "Now that my senses are no longer dulled by a desire to reach an orgasm and ejaculate I can look upon Sandra with new eyes. I was once a creature blinded by my own testosterone, but now I am free. It's as though a veil has been lifted from Sandra, and all womankind for that matter. I actually see Sandra as more beautiful, and infinitely complex and intricate. I can't believe how my castration has heightened my awareness of little subtleties like the texture of her skin, the sparkle in her eyes, her subtle facial expressions, or the rhythm of her breathing and heart beat. When I stimulate Sandra in sensitive and sensuous places I've learned to savor every little twitch and reflex, every excited gasp, every look of surprise and pleasure. When I observed these things before, it was like looking through a camera with an unfocused lens. I was roughly aware of general outlines, but never delicate details. I realize now that in the fog of my own sexual obsessions I could never have been as sensitive, perceptive, caring, or considerate as I am today. Since my castration I am more aware of Sandra as a holistic human being. "When we have a lovemaking session I bring her up slowly. My own mind synchronizes with hers and I begin to feel total empathy. By the time she has her first orgasm, I am riding her emotions like a surfer riding a wave. Her pleasure becomes my pleasure. It is a mental high like I was never able to experience before. However, unless you are a eunuch, I doubt if you can really understand what I am talking about." "That is so well put, dear," Sandra said. "Back when Lonnie was a virile man his pleasure was mostly physical - explosive and short lived. That little wad between a man's legs has its own agenda. I think when a man gets horny his testosterone shuts down his rational mind, forcing him to focus all his effort toward achieving his own orgasm and ejaculation. I doubt if he even feels that much emotion, just lust, until after he cums. That's why they say a stiff dick has no conscience." Laughter and chuckles arose from the audience. "A eunuch's pleasure," Sandra continued, "is more emotional and mental rather than physical. In the long run I believe that it is much more satisfying to both the woman and the eunuch. A eunuch's response to sensuality and intimacy is much more like that of a woman. There is a slow buildup to a broad plateau of pleasure that lasts a long time. No more quickies! "Also, if you've heard that the bond between a woman and her eunuch is deeper than the bond between a woman and an ordinary man, I can tell you it is true. Lonnie and I were deeply in love when we got married, but since his castration we have become much more intimate. Although I truly loved and trusted him before, I now feel a greater sense of well being and comfort when we are together. It's hard to explain, but I feel so totally uninhibited and safe. I can confide things in Lonnie that I never would have told him as a man. We are just closer now. All the wives with eunuch husbands have told me it's the same with their relationships." Regarding Lonnie's ability to have a sensuous and sexual interaction with Sandra on an emotional level, an audience member asked what prevented him from developing an inappropriate relationship with the gymnastics girls in the same way. "I'm actually glad you asked that," said Lonnie. "The important thing to remember is that without testosterone I am in control of my emotions in a way I could never have been as a virile man. I have a sexually sensual relationship with Sandra because that is my choice. We both choose to have this relationship. When I was first castrated I had difficulty relating to Sandra in that way. We had to relearn a lot of behavior. "When you take an attractive woman and a virile man and put them together nature will take care of the rest. With a eunuch this doesn't happen. Bonds of friendship will develop, but to make the relationship become something more, it takes a conscious effort by both parties. With my girls at the studio, I'm just not interested in developing this kind of relationship and neither are they. The girls are beautiful and cute, and I am still aware and appreciative of what beautiful and cute is all about. Trust me, my girls are very easy on the eyes!" Chuckles rippled through the audience and Sandra cast him a mock jealous glance. "But," Lonnie continued, "unlike a virile man, I am in control my emotions. It's just a matter of choosing not to pursue a path that would be detrimental to me and the girls. Now, instead of being dazzled out of my senses by shapely legs, a cute butt, budding breasts, and sexy eyes, I can simply choose to see a wonderful young human being. I do, however, have a heightened awareness of all the inner conflicts, insecurity, and apprehension that can fill their young minds at that age. For that reason I am much better at providing guidance and support than I was as a man. It's almost as though I'm clairvoyant and the girls think that's really cool. I help them get through a lot of problems and hurtles, big and small, in their lives and that makes me a better coach and leader. I get lots of hugs and kisses from the girls, but its the same kind of hugs and kisses they give their moms." Another audience member asked Sandra if she ever allowed Lonnie to have any testosterone replacement therapy. "Only when she's really feeling naughty!" Lonnie quipped. There was general laughter in the crowd. "It's strange" Sandra said, laughing, "that you should ask me instead of Lonnie. But it's also very insightful. In every eunuch and mistress relationship I'm aware of, it's always the woman who is in charge of whether or not her eunuch will receive HRT, and if so, how much. But to answer your question, I keep some Androderm patches on hand and allow Lonnie to wear one a couple of times a year - at most. I don't want him to ever completely forget what that old fire felt like. The rest of the time, though, he gets zero. Poor baby, it's so frustrating for him to start to get all hot and bothered, but can't do a thing!" "See what I mean?" Lonnie said, laughing. "She only does that to me when she's having one of her sadistic, naughty spells. When she puts a patch on me it's kind of like getting on one of those wild rides at the carnival. It's fun, but you're really glad when you can get off, and you don't mind that it will be another year before you do it again." The audience chuckled, then a woman asked Sandra if she thought they might have been a little premature in deciding on complete nullification rather than simple castration - removal of the testicles. "Well, honestly," Sandra said, "there have been a few occasions when we had second thoughts about that - I think me more than Lonnie. I guess I really miss that thing more than he does." Naughty laughter rumbled in the crowd. "But after careful consideration," she continued, "we still believe we made the right choice. Considering Lonnie's career, I know it was the right choice. "We're not into exhibitions are anything like that, but several of the moms that bring their daughters to the studio have seen Lonnie... you know, nude. Actually some of the girls have seen him too, and they all know. They're kind of shocked at first, but then the moms tell me it gives them a warm safe feeling knowing their daughters are in his hands. "Lonnie probably doesn't know this, but a few of the girls have come up and told me that when they get married and are through having kids, they want their husbands to get fixed just like Lonnie. They say boys are just fun toys - fun to play with, but when they choose someone to be with for the rest of their life, they would rather have a eunuch like Lonnie." Our Master of Ceremonies came up, apologized for having to interrupt, and said we were out of time. He thanked Lonnie and Sandra for their appearance and their time here at our conference. The audience stood and applauded. Going to the restroom after lunch, I could hear several guys wanking-off in the stalls. At least I was able to wait until I could get on the elevator and return to my room. THE END [For the full story of the conference read "Dream Conference". Also read "Luncheon Speaker #2: The CEO" for another speaker's story. These stories are posted on the Eunuch Archive.]