Conversation With Donna, A

After graduation from High School, I decided to go out of town where nobody knew me, and try to pass myself off to others as a female. This is something that I wanted to do for a long time. I took a trip to Miami Beach. When I arrived, I began shopping for womens clothes. I love the beach, so I even bought a bikini. I ask the sales clerk if I could try the bikini for size. I did not know how she would react because I came in dressed as a young man. She obviously worked on commissions because she was very accomadating and showed me where the dressing room was located.

When I got back to the hotel, I shaved my legs and changed my hair style to a pony tail, my hair was already a little long. Anyway it was not difficult to change my appearance beause I was so petit. I taped my penis and balls high between my legs so that they would not show when I put on my new bikini. I went to the beach and it seem like nobody noticed that I was a guy. I seemed to fit right in with the crowd. I was self conscieous though, because evertime a guy would try to make conversation with me I would give them the brush off, and say I had to go. However I seemed comfortable with girls. Back at the hotel I would go down to the pool and see other girls laying in the sun, so I pulled up a lounge chair and put myself between two other girls. I do not consider myself to be a homosexual, but in my mind I feel like a female. I went with other girls on dates, but I found out when we had sex, and they found out that I was a guy, the girls had guessed it already, and we still had sex even though I had tried to deceive them.

I met a girl named Cathy during my stay in Miami, and she didn't seem to mind hanging out with me. She said that I made a good transvestite.

Cathy came back home with me and got a job as a dancer in a topless club. I returned to dressing like a young man and started college. Cathy and I live together. We had a great sexual relationship. On week-ends we would travel to Daytona Beach or Fort Lauderdale. I would dress as a girl and Cathy would help me with my make-up and nail polish. She had me looing better than when I first met her. One day she asked me if we could have a threesome, with a guy. I reluctently said yes, even though I was not thrilled with sharing Cathy. One week-end we met a guy on the beach, and Cathy said let's get him to come up to our room. He appeared to be straight, so Cathy put the moves on him and talked him into having a threesome. Cathy came back over to me told me his name is Zack and he wants to have a threesome with us. When we got bact to the room and took off our clothes, Zack said to Cathy, I thought that was your girlfriend, but he a guy! Cathy was very beautiful and could talk men into anything if they thought that they could get in her panties. So Zack agreed, Cathy pushed him down on the bed and started kissing him, she looked back at me and said come on, I want you to put Zack's penis in your mouth and make him cum. I thought if I could bring him to orgasm he would not have the energy to fuck Cathy. As I was sucking, I looked up to see where Cathy's lips were. She kissed him and then started sucking his nipples. My eyes looked over to Cathy's pussy which was right beside my face. I was thinking that I would rather be sucking or fucking her, I was a little jealous. I was wrong, he recovered quickly from cumming in my mouth. Cathy and Zack tied me up and I watched Zack have sex with Cathy. As it turned out, I enjoyed watching. I never knew that I was a sex voyer.

Cathy and I would go to night clubs, sometimes male gay clubs because it was easier to get a guy to go back to the room with us. Our threesomes were getting to be a regular thing. I had fantasys of Cathy spanking me and have her tie me up before she would have sex with the other guy we were with. I was begining to enjoy Cathy's domination over me.

Sometimes when Cathy got finished working at the club, she would go home with a guy. I would not see her until the next morning. I got more jealous and Cathy would get angry when I told her. Soon we broke up.

After some time went by, Cathy and I got back together. I bought a trailer and we moved into a nudist camp. I wasn't like we expected, there were a lot of old retired folks living there, a few young couples like ourselves. We had one orgie, most of the time it was just me and Cathy. We had a lot of sex and got into bondage and spankings, Cathy always being the Dominate and me the submissive.

Once we met a guy on the beach named Zack. We ended up taking Zack back to our room. Afterwards Cathy and I would always talk about how big his penis was. We had a really good time that week-end.

Cathy and I ended up getting married. After a few years I left Cathy, I was confused about what I really wanted out of life.

Since then, I paid to visit a very elaborate dungeon and a black dominatrix in Missouri. On the outside of the building the sign said Lingerie Modeling and English Massages. I had heard about the English Massage which was an ass spanking. When I entered I saw several girls in lingerie and one Dominatrix. This woman was very tall, big muscular arms, and muscles that gave her stomach a wash board look. She was as tall and muscular as any man I knew. She wore a black leather outfit which showed off her legs and stomach, and her breast bulging from her bra. She was mean from the begining to the end of our encounter that night. The dungeon was dark and mysterious and I was starting to become afraid. There were stocks which she put my head and hands into while I was still in a standing position. She lowered the top of the stocks down over my neck and hands. I couldn't see her anymore, but I knew that she was standing right behind me. She was rubbing a paddle across my ass and told me that she was going to give me a spanking because I was a poor excuse for a man. She smacked me on the ass two times real hard, and I could feel my ass stinging like it was on fire. She started to spank me faster but not so hard now. After a few minutes she stopped and said that my ass was a bright red color now and she wanted to show the other girls that worked there. She handed me a short piece of lingerie which came down just over my ass, but when she would make me walk on my hands an knees my red ass was exposed. She put a dog collar on my neck and attached a chain. She led me out into the parlor where girls were waiting for customers. There were four girls dressed in their lingerie, sitting on a couch. The Dom tugged on the chain and led me over to them. She told me to sniff the pussy of the girl on the end, I did and she told me to sniff all the girls. The girls giggled and laughed. One said look at how red his ass is. Then she lead me into a room where a girl was folding sheets and towels. She told the girl to take a break and told me to start folding the towels for her. I could her all of the girls come in to watch. I started to turn around and the dom spank me on the ass once and said, "DID I TELL YOU TO TURN AROUND?". I respectfully said no Mistress, and I continued folding towels for a while. After that she took me back into the dungeon. I was still on my hands and knees and she towered over me. She told me to lick her pussy, I really didn't want to but I was afraid not to. I lifted my head up as far as I could but still not close enough to reach her pussy with my tongue. I pulled myself higher by putting my hands on her legs and I was now high enough and I put my tongue in her pussy. At that moment she suddenly pushed me away and said "DID I TELL YOU TO TOUCH ME WITH YOUR HANDS?" I said no Mistress. She shouted insults at me and then told me to "JACK OFF". So as I kneeled on my knees before her I jacked off and my cum quickly squirted all over her legs. She pushed me down on the floor, and said "GET DRESSED YOU PANTY WAIST, AND GET OUT OF HERE, YOU HAVE BEEN HERE LONG ENOUGH". Then she left the room and I got dressed. I was never so humiliated, but I enjoyed every minute. Even I don't understand what makes me do these things.

More recently I paid to visit a dominatrix locally, who has a small dungeon behind her house. She likes me to arrive in a business suit. We chat and have a drink before she tells me to take off all of my clothes. She makes me wear lingerie and panties, and takes pictures of me. She usually puts me in a cage while she prepares what she calls the pony. Then she lets me out of the cage and clamps my wrists and ankles to the pony. My arms are stretched forward and my ass is kinda up in the air, and my penis she pulls through a steel ring which is attached to the pony. I am blindfolded before she puts me on this pony so I can not accruately describe it, but I am restrained so that I can not move at all. She leaves for a minute and comes back with two young girls that she said are her daughters, one called Susan and the other Sandy. One of the girls started putting clamps in my nipples while the other started spanking me. The dominatrix pulled my penis throught the ring and started stroking and pulling me like she was milking a cow. She put lotions on my penis and continued to stroke. The girl that was spanking me said she had a new toy, and I heard her unwrapping something. Then she slapped some K-Y JELLY on my asshole, the dominatrix still stroking my penis. The girl started pushing something up my ass, maybe a toy penis, but it hurt because I was still a virgin back there. The dom stroking the girl pushing an pulling the toy penis in my ass, and then I started squirted cum all over. The dom gave me a few more strokes and the young girl removed the object from my ass. The released me from the pony and put me back in the cage. The Dom and the two girls went into the next room. I could still see them but I couldn't hear them well. They were taking a break I suppose, drinking, smoking, and laughing, have a good time as it appeared.

When they were finished one of the girls came over and released me from the cage and took me to the stocks, something like the one in Missouri. She put my head and hands in place and brought the top of he stock down and locked it. The wall in front of me was a big mirror. I could see the three of them standing on the other side of the room. Then one of the girls came back and told me that her name was Susan, but she instructed me to call her Mistress Susan. Mistress Susan said she was going to give me a little spanking. She said twenty times would be enough. She started to spank me but after three times she stopped. She said we would have to start over again because nobody was counting. She instructed me to keep count. "Understand she shouted?" I said yes Mistress Susan. I starte to count as she spanked, then she stopped again. She said when you count you must say "that's one, Mistress Susan, that's two Mistress Susan" etc. She said now we have to start all over because you were not counting correctly. Anymore mistakes and I'll have to increase your punishment. So I started counting, that's one Mistress Susan, That's two Mistress Susan...then I started counting faster because I couldn't keep up with her. She was hitting me two or three times before I could give one count.

After the spanking Mistress Susan stripped the lingerie off of me and put a male chasity belt on me. Mistress Susan and her sister Sandy put me spread eagle on a bed, and strapped my wrists and legs to the four corners of the bed. Now the girls started striping in front of me. When they were completely naked they got into bed with me and started kissing me sucking my nipples and soon I had another erection. Sandy said oh look Susan, his penis is hard. Mistress Susan asked me if I wanted to fuck them. Of course I said yes. With a very strict tone in her voice, she said I don't think so, you're not man enough. Then unstrapped me and Mistress Susan told me to get dressed and go home.

I have also had fantasys about being castrated, although I was afraid to do it. One day during an examination at the doctors office my urologist said that I had a lump on my left testicle and it would have to be removed. I said "no way". I left the office and went to my regular doctor and explained what the urologist had told me. My doctor examined me and she said you should go to the cancer institute where then can do a series of tests. So I did and soon I was admitted to the hospital where the surgeon performed an orchiectomy, removing my left testicle. That was May 25, 2000; you don't forget dates like that!

My testosterone level dropped so low that I could not get erections anymore. The doctor said that with one testicle I should have a normal sex life.

So I went back to my doctor and explained to her my problem. Well she started me on a Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). I went every month to the doctor and received an injection of testosterone. Soon I was getting erections again. I asked my doctor if I had lost both testicles, would the hormone treatment still work? She said that it should, she would just increase the dosage.

So recently I went to a general surgeon and asked if she would remove my other testicle. I told her that I had cancer in one testicle and I was afraid I may get cancer in the right one. I told her that I was getting hormone replacement on a regular basis. She asked me if I was sure, and I told her that, yes, I want the other testicle and the scrotum removed. So she scheduled me for surgery and on the day I was admitted she asked me again if I was sure, I said yes and she had me sign some consent papers. I asked her not to have me put to sleep, but just give me a local pain killer because I wanted to watch the operation. She agreed and soon the operation started. It only took about 30 minutes, and she told me that I would be taken to recovery and when I felt strong enough to get dressed and I could go home. She scheduled me for a follow up, and then she left.

When I had the orchiectomy it took about six weeks to recover because the left testicle was removed from the groin canal and pulled up out of the scrotum and cut off.

So Donna, now I am a EUNUCH! If I ever find a female Dom that likes me, I suppose I will have to let her decide if I should continue with the HRT or maybe she will forbid me from going to the doctor to get my testosterone injections. Well Donna, what do you think? Donna said, "I THINK IT IS GREAT, BECAUSE I MAYBE THE DOM THAT YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR !!