Nero 23

By Pueros

Chapter XXIII – Courtships

(Imperial palace, Rome, Oct. DCCCI A.V.C., in the 7th year of the reign of the Emperor Claudius [or October AD 48])

‘(Caesar) had a bath at about one….oiled his body and came into dinner. He used an emetic and so was able to eat and drink to excess, with obvious enjoyment.’

- Cicero (in a letter to his friend Atticus [‘To Atticus’, 13.52], describing Julius Caesar’s dining habits.)

As Apollinus and I now began our new life as slaves to the most powerful man in the world and his young son, Narcissus and Burrus, on behalf of Claudius, engaged on a round of executions. They did not just purge those involved in the recent coup and many of those known to have been civilian lovers of the late Messalina, including Mnester the actor. They also made use of the opportunity to eliminate others who were involved in neither activity but had otherwise proved nuisances to the interests of the Principate and themselves. The Imperial secretary was rewarded with an honorary Quaestorship for his efforts and the Procurator would soon gain significant personal advancement too.

Despite this sanguine background in Rome, Apollinus and I were understandably very happy at our sudden and miraculous escape, from maiming torture or worse in the palace dungeons, and our unexpected promotion to such high profile service. We were particularly excited at the exotic prospect at being able to observe some of the goings-on involving the family at the centre of worldly power, albeit one now without a matriarch. This was only tempered by the continuation of our servile status and the fact that our retention by Claudius had prevented the possibility of us being purchased by our respective lovers. My own new function was also recognised as dangerous, given what had happened to my poor predecessor.

Nevertheless, we appreciated that, throughout recent history, many worthy Imperial slaves had been rewarded for their efficiency by eventually not only being granted their freedom but also becoming very rich and influential. Narcissus, who treated the new young recruits to his master’s service from the beginning with pleasant respect, was a prime example of this phenomenon.

Recognition of the potential prospects offered by our new status was shared by our older lovers, who therefore welcomed the remarkable development in our lives as being the best alternative to their own ownership of our young personages, particularly as our court roles were so prominent.

Mutual attitudes were also helped when Narcissus, in return for small financial inducements, granted permission for Petronius and Gaius to visit Apollinus and me whenever our new duties allowed. The Imperial secretary also accepted an offer from Palaemon, at the request of the more impecunious ‘elegentiae arbiter’, to purchase a certain family of slaves from Caius Silius’ Campanian estate. My 16 year-old Greek friend’s mother, father and delightful younger brother, Helius, were thereby rescued from both current arduous service and a potentially even worse future existence, after another prospective auction of their bodies to toil for someone somewhere. Instead, the familial trio would be kept together and provided with a much less laborious and considerably safer, more respected and better-remunerated rural role in one of the renowned teacher’s vineyards.

Mutual attitudes were helped further by the exact nature of the duties expected of the new duet of Imperial slaves. From the start, there was to be no toiling in the vast kitchens, cleaning of the many ornate and cavernous chambers or similar menial work in the huge palace for Apollinus and me. As taster to the Emperor, I was instead expected to be regularly, although not necessarily constantly, at Claudius’ side during his waking hours, a situation that provided me with a great insight into court affairs and personalities. Meanwhile, my Greek friend had been delighted to be assigned, at Britannicus’ own request, to the prince’s service and my very capable fellow 16 year-old so rejoiced in his duties that he quickly made himself indispensable. He was rarely far from his 7 year-old charge throughout the day. He frequently attended to the delightful boy from the moment the youngster rose from his bed until the time, usually by early evening, when he was back under the covers and asleep once more.

None of the other male and female slaves, some of whom had attended Britannicus since he was a baby, particularly minded Apollinus’ intrusion. The prince was a polite and generally behaved but increasingly energetic boy, whose welfare, in a world full of potential enemies, took many hands to secure. The keen proficient assistance provided by the new servant of Greek origin was therefore welcomed, especially as the handsome youth went about his tasks well and with diplomatic pleasantness and consideration towards his colleagues.

One night, however, Apollinus jokingly told me that he could now appreciate some of the benefits of being a eunuch. The youth described how that day he had not only for the first time attended to Britannicus’ morning bathing but also he had been forced to repeat this duty after the young prince and his friends had spent some time playing naked games together in the palace gymnasium. “My cock’s been rigid all day,” my fellow 16 year-old confessed at the conclusion of his tale.

For the first time since Apollinus had met Petronius, I felt obliged to assist the relief of my friend’s frustration. I believe that he was most grateful for my oral help.

Despite Claudius’ exalted status, I found that his appetite for food was generally frugal, which was good for the maintenance of my slim waistline but in sharp contrast to his fondness for wine. The Emperor’s liking for such undiluted drink frequently caused me to be light-headed when my day’s duties were done, even though I had tasted a mere sip of each flask served. As a result, I often returned in a meandering fashion in the middle of the night to my new accommodation, hoping that I would not be suffering a hangover when I woke. However, I was compensated for these trials by the facts that my new duties were otherwise not very taxing and my new Imperial overlord, who usually slept until almost noon, was not a hard taskmaster.

In actuality, Claudius was generally a kind master to those who served him well, although, like many people, especially those in positions of onerous and potentially precarious authority, he was liable to mood swings. These were undoubtedly not helped by remembrance of the frequent horrors in his life, some very recent, and his embarrassing physical problems, which included a club foot and induced his body into regular uncontrollable spasms.

I now recalled with shame my own immature smirking when I had first observed Claudius at Caius Silius’ great feast, before the Emperor had saved me from my previous master’s potentially very distressing displeasure at spilling wine on his guest of honour. My embarrassment at my earlier attitude towards the Princeps’ unfortunate mannerisms was compounded by now perceptively realising why the 58 year-old liked eunuchs in his service. The most powerful ruler in the world always felt empathy with those who also endured physical disabilities. He therefore retained a compassionate desire to try to make the plight of any such people he came across a little better, although this pitying attitude generally did not extend to the gladiatorial amphitheatre, when his sadistic streak came instead to the fore. Imperial sympathy was increased whenever such incapacity was man-made, as it was with most of those, like me, who had genital disfigurements.

My room was a plain but not unpleasant chamber, which I was now permitted to share with my supposed ‘boyfriend’ in the slave quarters of the Imperial palace. From Narcissus’ dealings with Petronius and Gaius, the Imperial secretary had discovered the incorrectness of this supposition. Nevertheless, at the instigation of the ‘elegentiae arbiter’ and young man from Volsinii, he kindly allowed Apollinus and me to maintain the pretence with others, about the intensity of our current relationship, so that we would not be separated in terms of our quarters.

Letting slave lovers share accommodation in the Imperial palace was considered at the time beneficial rather than detrimental to efficiency. The liberal attitude that an able worker is usually also a much more productive worker when contented is unfortunately not universally followed in Roman society, but I hope that future civilisations might see the advantages of pursuing such a maxim.

Exceptions to Claudius’ general dietary restraint occurred at state banquets. On these occasions, like most of those of his class who could afford to be generous hosts, the Emperor expected his cooks to impress the Imperial guests with the wide range of courses offered and the imaginative way in which the various exotic dishes had been prepared.

I have to confess here that I have never had much taste for the manner in which Roman food, especially the many meat courses, is prepared for important banquets. I have a particular dislike for when the cooks take great trouble to disguise the proffered dish and use, what I consider to be, outrageous stuffing. I also find the over-abundant use of exotic sauces off-putting. I have, for example, never become fond of roasted piglets, swimming in herring sauce and presented to resemble a spiny lobster, whilst stuffed with seafood and snails, along with blackbirds. My attitude is probably greatly influenced by my earlier boyhood, when I would be fed with my late mother’s wonderfully delicious and nutritious but otherwise simple fare.

If my Imperial master indicated that he wanted to indulge in these convoluted dishes, I would naturally be required to sample each ingredient before quietly advising his server that I was of the opinion that the Emperor was safe to proceed. The Princeps’ dietary safety was supposedly guaranteed by my own continued physical wellbeing and was usually suggested by virtue of a discreet signal of the hand or eye to the slave actually charged with proffering the course. Meanwhile, I regularly, and I suppose successfully, tried to hide my disgust at what I was sampling, although, after banquets, it was often not just wine that made me, especially my stomach, feel queasy.

A likeable, capable, handsome and youthful freedman, named Doryphorus, who was a new assistant to Narcissus, was given the responsibility of introducing Apollinus and me to our new roles in court life, training us in the necessary tasks and formal etiquette. We discovered that he had played a major role in thwarting the recent coup, having been the lover of the murdered Polybius who had passed on his dead paramour’s important tidings to the Imperial secretary.

Doryphoros had been rewarded with his freedom and advancement to a potentially lucrative position, as Narcissus was very generous to his own staff. The fact that the youth had additionally transferred to the Imperial secretary’s bed from that of the deceased palace librarian was also helping his progress in the court hierarchy.

You may, reader, have wondered how I came to know so much about the conspiratorial dramas leading up to the recent abortive coup. Well, I now learned much from the friendly and informative Doryphoros, as well as others who had either been party to or heard comprehensive details about the interrogations of the plotters before their swift executions. The gathering of such data was helped considerably by now being present at many meetings involving the Emperor.

Caius Silius himself had apparently proved very cowardly and therefore voluble immediately after his arrest, and much data was secured from him without the necessity of putting him to the question. However, his major domo later proved far more reluctant to confess to what he knew before many horrific implements of torture were used on his body in the palace dungeons to extract the required information, ultimately fatally.

After Roman affairs eventually returned to some semblance of order, the main Imperial freedmen began to lobby, with careful diplomacy, for their respective candidates to be Claudius’ fourth wife. Narcissus advocated the Emperor’s earlier second spouse, Aelia Paetina. Despite the fact that such a relationship would be legally incestuous, Pallas promoted his occasional lover, Agrippina the Younger, who was the Princeps’ niece and mother of the obnoxious Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus. Callistus supported Lollia Paulina, the former partner of Gaius Caligula. Only Posides the eunuch refrained from such activity.

The three freedmen promoted their candidates, initially in a gentle subliminal manner, despite the fact that they had been instructed by Claudius to kill him if he was such a fool as to marry again. However, the Imperial servants had sagely appreciated that, even at 58 years of age, the Emperor’s sexual appetites would eventually want female company once more. They had also recognised that the successful nominee would become very powerful, given the influence she would undoubtedly be able to exercise over her new husband, which was the prime reason why they wanted an ally to fill the vacancy.

In the event, the identity of the winner of the courtship contest, in which all three women candidates now eagerly engaged, would have profound consequences for not only Rome but also Apollinus and me, and our respective Imperial masters.

(To be continued in chapter XXIV – ‘Incest’)