ALEX, FIRST TELL US HOW IT GOT STARTED -- WHO SUGGESTED YOU BE CASTRATED AND WHY?

I'm note sure when I became aware of castration, I think it was sometime around 16. Both my parents are pretty religious Evanglical Christians and I grew up reading the bible on my own, in bible study classes and with my parents. Sometimes the word "eunuch" came up the bible, but I really didn't understand what it meant.

Umm ... I guess the reason I got castrated goes back to around the time I was twelve years old. That year two things happened ... my sister got killed in a car accident, and I hit puberty. Her death was really hard on my parents, on all of us. As we learned more and more about the accident, it only got worse because she was killed on a date with a twenty-year old guy and she was only 15 at the time. And when they did an autoposy on her body, they found out she was pregnant with the guy's baby. For my parents that was almost worse than the fact that my sister was dead.

SO HOW DID YOU HANDLE YOUR SISTERS DEATH? HOW WAS THIS RELATED TO YOUR PUBERTY?

Well they're linked in my mind at least, because they both hit me at the same time. All the sudden I started getting erections all the time. It was like my dick was always hard ... when I woke up, when i went to sleep, when I was in class, when I was playing sports. I was pretty embarrased about it and started to wear really tight underwear to try and hide things. Sometimes I would try and wear two or three pairs at a time to try and hide my bulge. In a way this made it worse, cause this rubbed my dick all the time, and when I got hard it only made things worse it seems.

Things started to get really bad when I was about 13. First my balls grew, I was sure something was wrong with them or something. They were about the size of large grapes i guess when i was growing up, and then one day i reached down and it was like they had grown huge. They were probably about the size of boiled eggs and just about the same weight. And a couple months after that I noticed my cock start to grow in size and width. I know that growing up I was bigger than most other boys, but once my cock hit puberty it got really big. It was super embarrasing in gym class because it was usually hard, and once it got so big I could barely hide it when I was changing. One day the kids in gym class started to tease me and said I had a "sock in my pants" and one of the boys, a bully, pulled my gym shorts down. About five other kids saw what happened, and I swear their mouths were open when they saw my package. They all kinda laughed, but after that nobody ever teased me again and I got alot more popular with both the guys and the girls at school.

WERE YOUR PARENTS AWARE OF YOUR PUBERTY AND DID THEY TREAT YOU ANY DIFFERENTLY AS YOU MATURED INTO A MAN?

Both my mom and dad were very aware of my erections and growing package. For a few months my parents were remodelling thier bathroom, so we all had to share the same shower. My dad walked in on me once, and later that day I overheard him talking to my mom about how much Alex had "changed down there". I was really embarrased to have them talking about it.

Things got really bad once I started to ejeculate. The first time this happened, I was asleep and I thought I had wet my pants. I was embarrased, but I had wet my pants when I was younger, so I was used to it. But i noticed my pajamas didn't smell like urine ... they were all sticky and soaked in front, and it smelled different, a little bit like fish. I tried to hide the pajamas in the laundry bag, but I caught my mom smelling them as she put them in the wash, and she had an expression on her face, kinda like she was angry ... i could see her shake her head as she tossed them in the wash.

One day my parents were acting a little strange at breakfast, I knew something was on their mind. My dad asked me point blank: had I been masturbating? He advised me that this was the cause of insantiy, blindness and that the bible condemned it. I told him I had never masturbated and that I wasn't even sure what it was. That's when my mom said she knew I masturbated becuase she'd found "semen" in my pajamas on on my bed sheets. I turned bright red, I was so embarrased and ashamed, I didn't want to do anything to hurt or offend my parents ... all I could do was get up and run to my room in shame. Later that day my dad came in and told me we were going to visit our minister and have him talk to me about masturbation. I was confused because I didn't even know what it was, all I knew was my body was making something horrible, something called "semen" that made my pajamas sticky and smelled like fish.

I told my dad I didn't want to talk to the priest about it because I didn't think I had a problem with it. My parents agreed to let the issue drop if I promised not to masturbate. I promised. Later that week I got the courage to ask my best friend Greg what masturbation was and he was surprised I didn't know. He told me that's when you play with your cock until it spits out semen. He told me most of his friends were doing it. He dared me to go into the bathroom and try it. I was scared and told him i wouldn't, that I'd promised my parents I wouldn't do that, and that the bible said it was immoral.

Later that night as I was trying to get to sleep I couldn't stop thinking about what masturbation was, all I knew was my cock as usual was rock hard. My parents didn't allow me to sleep in pajamas anymore, they said it only encouraged masturbation to have my penis rubbing against cloth all night. I was only allowed to sleep in a pair of white underwear briefs, they were super tight. My parents said the Minister had recommended this to eliminate masturbation.

My mom started to come in my room in the early morning to check on me and inspect my sheets and underwear for signs of masturbation. Everything was fine until one morning I was awaken by a hard slap from my mom, and my father running up the stairs to witness what had happend -- my underwear was practically transparent, the entire front was filled with a sticky mess. My cock was covered in the mess, and it was erect. I must have ejeculated just moments before she came in my room, as everything was still wet, and I could see semen had dripped out and gotten all over my sheets too. It was sticky and was all over my legs. My dad asked me if I had been masturbating. I said "No, I just woke up!" and he didn't believe me. My mom started crying hysterically and I didn't know what was going to happen, that's when my dad punched me in the head. I woke up a half hour later. My dad came in and told me I was a sinner and was going to go to hell if this continued.

I was 17 years old now, and this had now become a regular thing -- I would be awakened by my mother, who would turn hysterical, and then my father would come in and beat me.

One night at dinner my dad said we were going to have "the conversation" now about what we were going to do about things. He talked about how he and my mother had tried everything in thier power to set me on the right course, and that they both believed the devil had gotten into me and had turned me into a sinner and a masturbater.

I remember when my dad first said the word "castration" ... he said this was on option for boys with my problem, something that has been done for thousands of years ... he said there were even doctors that performed the operation all the time on boys like me and men who wanted to live according to the teachings of the bible. I wasn't sure of what the term castration meant, until my father brought out a printout from a website. The website was from a kind looking old doctor who performed castration, and it explained all about what it was. My dad read the text about how castration involves removing the testicles, which are a man's main source of testosterone. He read how removing the testicles is a simple proceedure, one that only takes about an hour. He read how removing the testicles had lots of health benefits, and how men actually enjoyed the feeling of having their testicles removed.

I didn't know what to think, I was scared of having an operation and the pain that might be involved. My dad said we were going to drive to the doctor's office in a couple days for a consultation and to talk to the doctor about our options.

Three days later, on a Saturday, all three of us arrived at the clinic. We were greeted by the old doctor, he was really nice to us and he brought us into his clinic and sat us down on an old leather sofa in the reception area.

"So what brings you here today?" asked the old doctor. My dad explained how I have been a chronic masturbator and how I have been disobeying them, and how both he and my mom were seriously worried that I was going to go to hell because of this. The doctor turned to me and asked me, "So Alex, do you think all this masturbation is going to send you to hell? What if we could cure your problem today with a simple operation, would you like that?" I told him I wasn't sure, I was afraid of pain and having to undergo an operation. The old doctor smiled and gave of a small laugh as he reassured me:

"Alex, I've performed this operation on literally hundreds and hundreds of men. Some of them younger than you, some of them older. We numb your private parts with a shot, and you don't even feel it. Your testicles are them removed through your scrotum, and they are gone in less than half and hour in most cases. You will be back on your feet in an hour, healed up in a week, and you will never have to masturbate again if you don't want to."

I told the doctor that I wasn't a masturbator, that the problem was I had "wet dreams" and that my parents were wrong. When I said this both my parents looked at me and got very upset. The doctor could see things were getting uncomfortable so he jumped in:

"Alex, perhaps you and I should have a private consultation for a while, and your parents can join us later. Just you and me, we can talk about things and figure out what you should do. We're not going to do anything, this is just a talk."

My parents both got up at this point, and said they were going to leave us for about an hour while the doctor and I talked things over. I said OK see you later this afternoon.

As the door closed and my parents left us, the old doctor put his hand on my shoulder.

"Alex I know how much pain you are going through. Your parents have told me all about the loss of your sister, and how that caused you to become a chronic masturbator. You don't want to live your life like this do you Alex? Don't you want me to help you put this in the past?

"Let me take you through the steps, and maybe you'll understand how simple this is. We could have this whole thing resolve in less than an hour, if you agree. All you will need to do is agree and we will have the operation started. I promise there won't be any pain, you will be completely numb. I've done over 600 of these operations, and haven't had a single complaint. Ever.

"Your testicles are what are causing this problem. For many boys like you, they produce way too much testosterone than your body needs, and this causes all sorts of problems. After your testicles are removed, you will feel calm and be able to concentrate on your life again, and you will no longer suffer from having to masturbate. And eventually you won't even ejaculate anymore, so your mother will no longer have to deal with your mess.

"Now let's go to the back room where I've got my supplies and operating table and were just gonna have a look at you. I'm going to give you a quick physical and make sure there are no problems with your testicles, and you can ask me any more questions about castration and what the operation will involve. OK?"

We walked down a short hallway, and turned left into the small operating room. The doctor asked me to remove my shoes, shirt and pants.

"There we go. We'll be remobing your underwear in a minute, first let me check your temperature and pulse. Just get up here on the table and relax. I'll be putting your feet in these stirrups to hold them in place while we have the examination, ok?

"There we go, everything seems normal with your temperature and pulse. Right now were going to look at your testicles and examine your genitals. I'll have you pull your underwear off right now, and please put your feel back in the straps. Now lay back while i examine you.

"You appear to have slightly above average testicles, in fact they're very large for a man your age. now I understand how your testosterone levels might be severely elevated. We can have these removed in really just a few minutes, and you'll be completely cured of your masturbation forever.

"I'm going to inject this anaesthetic into your abdomen now. It's going to sting for awhile, and then it's going to numb your entire genital area. This is necessary because i'm going to have to examine your testicles further, and this is often painful. And if we agree to go further and remove them, then it will be much more comfortable for you to have them numb, OK?"

I nodded and the doctor quickly slid the cap off the anaesthetic needle, and insterted it into my abdomen, right above my penis. It felt cold as he injected the contents into my left side, and then again into my right side. It was a sharp jabbing sensation, and then it started to feel cool as everything became numb.

"Can you feel this? I'm squeezing your left testicle. OK good, you should feel a slight tugging sensation, that's normal."

I could see his hand on my testicle, and it appeared he was squeezing it pretty hard. I could barely feel anything down there at this point.

"OK Alex I think everything looks great. We're going to go ahead and remove your testicles now. You will be very happy this is being done, you will no longer suffer from masturbation or wet dreams. In a few weeks you won't even have to suffer with erections anymore. You want this to happen, don't you? OK Alex just relax, we're going to have your testicles removed before your parents even return, it will make them very happy to hear that we've gone ahead and performed the castration. You will make them very proud Alex, you understand that? I'm very proud of you, I know it take alot of courage for a young man to ask for help with this problem. I know that many young men think that having testicles and getting erections means being a "real man". I am so proud of you Alex, you are about to enter a whole new phase in your life. You are about to be set free from your suffering Alex. I am so proud of you, you will not regret being castrated."

I could see the doctor reach for his surgical instruments. He pulled a towl up between us so I couldn't see what he was doing down on my crotch.

"Now that your completely numb Alex I'm going to make the first incision. This is the whole through which I'm going to remove your lef testicle. Let me know if you feel any pain. OK this is very nice, I'm making a very clean cut. Oh there we go, i'm just making the cut a little bigger now so we can get your testicle out. Most men don't need such a large cut, but I'm going to have to make this cut much larger now to get your testicle out. There we go, i'm pulling your testicle through the hole now. There we go, very nice. Very nice Alex, I am going to start to seperate the testicle from your body now. Let me know you feel anything, just relax and your castration will go very smoothly.

"There we go now, I'm just about to cut the cords that keep your testicle attached to your body. After that I'll suture up the cords. There we go just one more cut and we'll have that testicle removed. Very nice, this is going very nicely. OK just about there, ok there we go, it's off."

I could feel a slight pinching sensation as the doctor removed the left testicle and severed it from my body. I could hear a sound as he put the severed testicle in a metal tray.

"OK Alex we have your left testicle removed. Now on to the right side, and we'll have you all fixed up in a few minutes. OK i'm starting to cut the right side of your scrotum open so we can get to your right testicle. OK good this is going very well, I'm going to push your right testicle out of your scrotum now."

"OK we have your right testicle ready now, I'm going to sever the cords. Ok this is going very well, you are about to become a eunuch. You are going to be very happy like this, we're about to rid your body of testosterone forever. Your scrotum is going to be empty and you're going to have very very low levels of testosterone. You're not even going to think about masterbation anymore.

"There we go, I've got your right testicle out, and only one more cut and we'll have it severed from your body. You ready for this Alex?"

END PART 1