"Haven't changed your mind? But no money back at this point," said the surgeon. It was Rita's voice. I shook my head.

"Okay unlucky man, lie down." I lied on the table.

"Anesthetics? You know, if you're a chicken." I nodded.

"Nurse here is ready to give you your last blowjob." I shook my head without even thinking about it. "Your loss," said Rita and immediately pinched a needle a few times in my crotch. My penis went numb. I looked at the pretty nurse and regretted that decision. But it was too late. She shrugged and put on a mask.

"So how much do you want off, hubby?"

"All of it."

"All of it?"

"Yes. Don't leave anything."

"I can't perform a full penectomy with urethral reroute, if that's what you're after. I can just cut it off cleanly, so there's no trace of the penis on the outside. You'll need a dick plug to pee standing."

"All right... That will do."

"Good. We'll start in a few minutes, it's getting well numb."

First it was necessary to shave my crotch. Nurse was doing a proper job. She first covered everything with shaving cream, then begun to travel around with a disposable razor. She was enjoying herself. After she was done, she cleaned me up with warm water. But that was not all, she obviously wanted to play. She was checking out my penis out with both hands. Playing with it, moving it back and forth, pulling and pushing, rolling the foreskin over. She patted it, nudged it, squeezed it, weighted it, punched it. She really had fun. Once again I was sorry for being under anesthetics. Actually, there was something in my mind that wanted to stop all this... I mean, having a penis feels good, when you can feel it that is. But then I've remembered why I was there. I couldn't just chicken out.

Nurse had her fun, so she sprayed my crotch with some brown goo and brought a tray with surgical tools. Than she begun to talk to me.

"Quite a nice package you have there. Pretty thick. Nice fat balls, too... I'm sure they will look even better alone. But still, why are you parting with the sausage?"

"Yeah hubby, tell us. It's not your wife's birthday, so what is it?" Rita joined the chat. I looked down and saw the nurse's hand squeezing and holding my penis upwards, while Rita's hand was slowly approaching with a scalpel...

I didn't want to look. Talking was a good way to draw my attention from what's really happening.

"We have an argument with my wife..."

"Penis argument? Dick jokes?" asked Rita, doing some circles with her hand, focusing on one spot. I still wasn't looking.

"Hey I knew we women can be bitches sometimes, but I didn't think we could persuade a guy to go to a tattoo shop and have his junk cut off," nurse added.

"No, I mean yeah we often argue, but..."

"But? Some but, considering where you are right now."

"Well we've been married for 7 years now. It's difficult sometimes. We often make big decisions without consulting the other party."

"So which one of you two decided to have you cut to size?"

"Well... Actually, I wasn't serious at first."

"Yet look how serious can things get."

"My wife... Kelly, she has decided to have her breasts reduced."

"Has she?"

"And I couldn't agree with her doing that."

"That's gotta suck."

"So I told her, if she goes through with that, then I get my... penis... cut... off."

The two suddenly stopped at their tracks. Four eyes behind surgical masks were staring at me.

"Are you saying you're doing this just to prove your point?"

"Uh... I wouldn't..."

"That's the most retarded reason ever."

"You're trying to prove you're the man... By losing your manhood. This is rich."

Such is a usual case in marriage arguments. The couple needs a third party to point out the ridiculousness of some actions. Obviously this was our case with Kelly and me. I sure needed to hear from someone else, how stupid my idea was at the beginning, not to mention completing it! Now, when I clearly heard it, my inner thoughts have slowly began to emerge. Most obviously the one telling me that this is indeed the most retarded thing ever. It took me a few minutes before I was actually able to clearly think 'Hey you! Stop this now!'.

With this thought in mind, I raised my head and opened my mouth, to shout at the girls to halt the procedure. However, this time I was stopped in my tracks. I looked up just in time to see Rita making the last cut and raising my penis two feet from my body.

"There, uncocked. Harmless as a puppy.. No woman will have to feel threatened by you again."

"That will teach your wife to make decisions without you," added the nurse.

"Now let's stitch you up, dickless hubby."

My head has fallen back on the pillow. I knew I wasn't dreaming, but it felt like a nightmare. I just couldn't believe it...

While Rita was stitching up my wound, we heard a cellphone ringing. It was my cell, I left it in the pocket of my trousers in the shower. The nurse went to fetch my phone. When she brought it, I had an unanswered call and a voicemail message from Kelly. Wasn't she supposed to be on the operating table?

I listened to the voicemail. It was indeed Kelly. "Hey, listen... I'm sorry for our argument. You are right. It was a stupid idea to get my breasts reduced. I called off the operation as soon as I realized how right you are. I know we've been having some rough times together, but don't be mad at me... I've called your golf club, they say you're not there... Where are you? Come home, we can have some good reunion fuck. I'll give you a nice blowjob too, and anything else you'd like. What do you say?"