|
"Bend over and let your belly touch the examine table," the attractive thin brunnette nurse said nonchalantly. I bent down and did as she said spreading my legs a little. Half of my bare ass could be seen through my pink covered hospital style exam gown through the slit in the back. I looked back and saw a huge square needle filled with liquid: Depo-lupron was the brand name; a form of medadroxyl-progesterone acetate. I watched as she popped the green cap off the enermous three-inch square needle. I couldn't believe I was going to allow myself to voluntarily be castrated chemically, just to calm my anger and try to ease my symptoms of gender-dysphoria, the main reason why I was doing this.
My little castratix, the nurse, said, "The best thing to do is relax, don't tense up." I was shaking like a scarred bunny rabbit, my phobia about needles is intense. My head was spinning; I was filling nauseated and light headed at the same time. I grumbled something half intelligeble; the nurse proceeded to swab my rear with alchol. There I was bent over for what seemed like an eternity waiting for this hot little nurse to stick me with this needle. Suddenly, I felt a prick and experienced "the mild to moderate discomfort" the female urologist had warned me about five minutes earlier. Ouch, I thought as I felt the medicine start to go into my rear. At first it felt warm, than I experineced a burning full filling as the hormones in the thick soy solution was injected into me ever so slowly. The burning sensation grew, I looked back and the nurse said, "just a few more seconds." After what seemed like an eternity but only a few seconds, the nurse was swabbing my rear and was saying something about Dr. B being back in with me in a few minutes. A few minutes later, Dr. B, a thin married lady of about forty-four years came into the room. Unlike most doctors Dr. Beam is a member of the true clerisy, a third generation of a family of physicians. She, I later learned is a registered Mensian in the Indianapolis area. A little too thin for her 5'6" frame, her very short, almost boyish haircut would make you think that she is a Star-Trek groupie or wonder about her sexual orientation if it was not for the three-karat brilliant cut diamond engagment ring and her plantinum wedding ring. Doctor B sepcializes primarily in female urology: incontinence and problems with the urinary system in females. However, Doctor B does see males, a select few, ones that are referred to her by high dollar shrinks, psychologists, and other private health care workers. She is the only urologist in Indiana, and the only one I believe nation wide, that will chemically neuter a male voluntarily. After a year, and with tow written recommendations, one from a social worker and one from a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist she will surgically alter a a guy even if he is not transgendered or a sex offender. Her only guidelines are to get the injections for a year, be sane, and smart enough to understand and appreciate the effects of the procedure and that it is permaneant. Everything Dr. B said after she entered the room was almost surreal, like it was part of a dream. She said my ass would be sore for a few days and I might have a bruise. I didnt not have a slight bruise, I had a bruise about half the size of an apple and it felt the first day like someone had kicked me in the ass as hard as he could. She also stated that the medication may not take effect for up to two weeks. She told me that since this was the female hormone progesterone, that I might expererience "mild to moderate" hot flashes, intense in the middle of the night is more like it. It has happened twice and it is an experience that I will never forget. Waking up feeling like you have a sunburn through the inside of your body, even though it is sixty-five degrees in the room with the air conditioner blasting. What is really weird is that it can stop for a few minutes or a few hours than suddenly start up again, a cruel trick of Mother Nature. Dr. B. also said I'd probaly gain some weight and might experience some slight gynomastia, something I fear the most. I mean how oculd I explain it to my friends, employer or womena t my church that I might have a cup size. Two weeks and four days later "it" no longer worked as the medication took effect just as the doctor said it would. About a month later I realized I didn't stare at hot women anymore, the desire and drive gone. I also ralized I didn't even obsess about sexy every eight seconds. It became an almost novel game to try and rember the last time I did think about sex. My grades started to go up, my grade point average went trhought the roof. I got my first collegiate "A" in a course. Two semester later, I was off academic probation. I caught myself smiling again, as I felt tranquil. I still feel tranquil to this day, I rarely get angry anymore, one of the main reasons why I seen doctor B. I found a nice normal Christian girl to ddate. I don't think Ill ever go for the permaneant option but until I get married and we decide to have kids, I think Ill be seeing Dr. B every 4 months
|