Tim's Last Orgasm 30: Life Goes On

Over the summer, the boys all became more or less comfortable with their new bodies. They were all kept extremely busy with the growing computer store, taking care of little Timmy who was growing and developing like the proverbial weed, and playing sports. True to his word, Coach Masterson had Terry playing basketball and baseball, and Terry had responded with a renewed energy in both sports that astounded even himself. By the time the new school term started, everyone was more or less accustomed to his new body. That’s not to say there weren’t regrets because three of the four boys had given up something really important to them. Only Jared, it seemed, was perfectly content with his status as a nullified eunuch. The other three, all of them, found themselves wondering from time to time if they wouldn’t be more content if they were to get castrated; but for now castration wasn’t an option for any of them. They all had their unique reasons for refusing to consider such a thing, but they all found comfort in the fact that the option was there if their frustration levels got too high.

School proved to be a bit of a letdown for Nate, Jared and Tim that fall. They had been so incredibly busy over the summer they hadn’t had a lot of time to think about life as they knew it. When they went to bed they were so tired they often went right to sleep with hardly a thought of sex. But once they were back in school and settled into a routine, they found that they were often bored with their more relaxed pace, and being so desperate for something to occupy their minds they often found themselves watching their fellow students and listening to their constant chatter, which more often than not was concerned with their many sexual exploits, whether real or imaginary.

Nate was the first to fall victim to this new influence. He was rather surprised to learn how openly gay some of his classmates were, and how often they would talk about some of their adventures without regard to who was listening. He had made no attempt to hide his relationship with Tim, but to his complete surprise no one seemed the least bothered or concerned.

One Friday morning in early October, as he was putting his jacket in his locker, he overheard four boys talking. One was telling the other three about his sexual adventure over the previous weekend. It seemed that he’d met another boy after a football game and they’d had a pretty intense sexual weekend. When he named his partner all three boys were suitably impressed. It was the school team’s star quarterback! “No kidding!” one of them exclaimed. “I didn’t know he was gay.”
“He didn’t either,” the one telling the story answered. “But lemme tell ya, he was HOT!”
“That musclebound kind don’t interest me that much,” one of the others said. “The one I’d really like to get it on with is that Nathan Seymore. Have you seen him in his basketball uniform? He’s cute even in his school clothes, but put him in a pair of shorts and a basketball jersey and he’s a knockout!”

The other three boys attacked Nate’s admirer verbally. “Why in the world would you want that prickless mutant?” one of them demanded. “He doesn’t even have a cock!”
“Yeah,” another added, “I’ve heard that he’s goin’ for sex change surgery next summer. It’d be like goin’ out with a girl.”
“A girl with no hole to put anything in,” the third added, which extracted a laugh from all four boys. Then they all proceeded to try to outdo each other making stupid, derogatory remarks about the freak who happened to be one of their basketball team’s stars. Each comment brought an eruption of laughter from the group, and pounded the reality of what he’d done more cruelly into Nate’s head. Finally when he’d heard enough he closed his locker and hurried away in another direction.

Nate didn’t do very well in school that day. He couldn’t get his mind off the conversation he’d heard. One of the boys had said he thought Nate was really cute, but he very quickly changed his tune when the other three had pointed out his obvious shortcoming. It wasn’t that Nate was interested in the kid, or anyone else for that matter; but like all teenagers, he still needed to be admired, craved approval. Now he began thinking of himself as some sort of mutant weirdo whose only purpose in life was to put basketballs in hoops. On the basketball court he was accepted because he could help the team win games, but he was good for little else.

It only took Tim a few minutes to figure out something was wrong when he picked up his lover that night, but when he asked, Nate just replied “nothing” and would say no more. “I know something’s wrong,” Tim pressed. “You’re not yourself. Have I done something?”
“Yeah, actually you have,” Nate flared at him. “You get on my back and nag the shit outta me even after I’ve told ya nothing’s wrong. Why can’t ya just leave me alone?”
“Nate, I didn’t mean...” Tim attempted.
“I know what you meant,” Nate snarled. “Just leave me alone, ok?”

*****************************

It was just a week later when Terry hurried to the gym to dress for his first basketball practice. This was going to be an awesome year, he just knew it! He had long since stopped feeling self conscious about his missing appendage, and most of his teammates were seemingly comfortable with him as well. He quickly stripped and pulled on his jockstrap. He still wasn’t used to the roomy, almost vacant feeling under his cup. He had even got into the habit of stuffing tissues inside to fill up the space so that his balls wouldn’t jostle around inside. Today he’d forgot to bring the tissues, so he shrugged and told himself it would be ok, just for his first practice. He was still wearing his “special” underwear, but his control had returned to the point that he was no longer absolutely soaking them, so he could quite comfortably go for two or three hours at a time with only a little leaking.

“You all ready for tryouts, Chandler?” one of his teammates asked as he laced his hi-tops.
“We don’t have tryouts, Marty,” Terry answered. “Don’t you remember? Coach Masterson said...”
“Don’t matter what he said,” Marty countered. “Didn’t you see the notice?”
“Well, yeah, I saw it, but I figured it was for the new kids.”
“Didn’t you see who signed it?”
“Well, no, I didn’t notice...”
“Masterson’s gone, Terry,” Ben Agnew announced as he joined in the conversation. “He’s had a car accident. He won’t be back till after Christmas, if ever. We got a guy named Sweet for a coach, an’ he’s gonna have us all try out ‘cause he don’t know us.”

Terry’s mouth fell open until it hit his chin. “Coach Masterson had an accident?” he said with disbelief. “Is he... is he gonna be ok?”
“I dunno,” Ben replied. “I’m kinda hoping this Sweet guy will know something. Coach is in California in a hospital. I only found out ‘cause I overheard two of the teachers talking.”

As if to reaffirm his worst fears, Coach Sweet, who was anything but, had all the team hopefuls sit on the floor in the gym while he told them what he knew. Coach Masterson had flown to California over the weekend on some sort of business, then as he drove his rental car back to the airport he’d been in a headon collision. Both his legs had been badly broken and they didn’t know if he would walk again, but he was probably out for the entire school year at the least. “So all you lucky jocks got me instead,” Mr. Sweet said with a nasty grin. “Let’s see what we’ve got. And I don’t want to hear even once that Coach Masterson did it this way, or you learned to do it that way. You’re gonna do it MY way now!”
“How sweet,” Ben whispered. Terry snickered.
“I’m sorry,” the coach said, “I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Sweet, but I assure you it’s only my name, not my description.”
“Sweet of you to mention,” Ben whispered. Terry lost it. He literally howled with laughter.

“What the hell’s so funny?” the coach demanded.
“I’m sorry, sir, I shouldn’t have laughed like that.” Terry gasped. “I just thought of something...”
“What’s your name, kid?” the coach interrupted.
“Terry Chandler, sir,” Terry answered, trying desperately to regain some composure as he stood up and faced the coach.
“Freshman, right? And what makes you think you can play basketball?”
“I’m not a freshman, sir,” Terry said, “I’m a junior.”
“You’re a junior? How old are you, Terry Chandler?”
“I’m 15, sir,” Terry answered.

Coach Sweet put his hand to his chin and rubbed it. “Wait a sec!” he muttered. “Terry Chandler! Fifteen year old whiz kid. You’re the kid Masterson thinks walks on water, right?”
“I don’t know about walking on water,” Terry replied self consciously. “But Coach Masterson thought I had promise.”
“Well, I’m not Coach Masterson, and I have no room on my team for babies or midgets. So if you want to play for Midwestern High this year, let’s see what you got.” He threw the basketball in his hands with incredible force, catching Terry unaware and knocking the wind out of him. Terry crumpled to the floor.

“I told you, there’s no room on my team for midgets and babies,” the coach said with a sneer. “Get out of here and come back when you’ve grown into a teenager. You couldn’t sink a basket if your life depended on it. Basketball is such a wuss game anyway. If you guys were really athletes you’d be out playing football, not running around here in your shorts and sneakers playing a girls game.” Terry got slowly to his feet.
“I came here for tryouts,” Terry said defiantly. “I’m not leaving till I get my chance.”
“Fine, have it your way,” the coach said. “Go sit on the sidelines and I’ll get back to you.”

“What’s your name?” the coach asked Ben when Terry had settled on the side of the court.
“Ben Agnew, sir,” Ben replied as soon as he’d stood.
“Ok, Ben Agnew, you’re up,” the coach said as he threw a basketball forcefully at Ben. He caught it easily, then in one fluid motion he whirled and threw it at Terry, calling as he threw “Heads up, Chandler!” Terry sprang to his feet and caught the ball. “I don’t believe Terry was finished showing you his stuff,” Ben explained to the coach.
“I’ll decide whose turn it is,” Sweet roared as Terry approached him. “I told you to sit down, Chandler. Now you go sit your ass down, and Agnew, you join him.”
“No, sir, I’m afraid we can’t do that,” Ben said as he stood his ground.

“Come on, Ben,” Terry pleaded. “We’ll get our turn.”
“You fuckin’ idiot, Terry,” Ben shot back at him. “I know you lost your cock, but did you lose your brain too? Don’t you see what’s goin’ on here? He’ll fill the team before he gets back to us and then it’s game over. We got a right to try out and we’re gonna do it, and right now!”
“I told you to go sit down, Agnew,” the coach ordered again. Then it registered on his brain what Ben had said. Perhaps no one else noticed, but Terry did. He had seen that look before, and he knew this coach, this man who he knew was already his sworn enemy, had just had a revelation. “What did you say to him, Agnew?” the coach asked.

Ben had the stricken look on his face of one who knew he’d said something he shouldn’t have. “I... I’m sorry, sir,” Ben stammered. “I guess I was just upset. I really want Chandler on the team, sir. He’s really good. You’ll see if you give him a chance, sir. I know he’s not very tall, and he’s...”
“Not that,” the coach said impatiently. “You said something about Chandler’s genitals. What did you mean by that?”
“Sir, I didn’t mean...” Ben stammered.
“He didn’t mean anything,” Terry put in. “We always talk to each other like that.” It’s just guy talk, you know, like shit for brains, asshole, that sorta thing.”

“Well, I’ve gotta hand it to you, Chandler,” the coach exclaimed. “For a little guy, you’ve sure got a mouth on you! I don’t think I like you very much. I don’t tolerate a mouth like that on my team even if you are a bunch of fairies. Now if you want to try out you can stay, but even if you do make the team I seriously doubt that you’ll get off the bench. So stay if you want, but get your impertinent little ass over there and sit on it till I call you. But before you go, drop ‘em!”
“Drop ‘em?” Terry quizzed.
“Your shorts, Chandler. Drop your shorts and your jock. I wanna see for myself what you’ve got under there.”
“It’s none of your business what I’ve got, or haven’t got,” Terry said defiantly. “SIR!” he added as an afterthought.
“Are you refusing to obey me, Chandler?”
“Yes, sir, I am, if it means humiliating myself in front of the whole team. If you want to see my body the least you could do is ask me in private.”
“Get your little sassy ass out of my sight!” the coach ordered. Terry’s remark had caused considerable snickering in the ranks, and the coach knew better than to push it.

Terry knew when he was beaten. He headed for the locker room. Ben and Marty, and about a half dozen others followed. “What the hell are you doing, Terry?” Ben demanded. “That asshole can’t do this to you!”
“He just did it,” Terry said as he kept walking.
“We’ll get the principal!” Ben practically screamed. “We’ll call your brother, your father. Shit, man, we just went through this last spring. You beat Masterson and you can beat this prick too. Why the hell would you just back off like that?”
“Go play basketball,” Terry said, fighting the tears in his eyes. “I don’t want to be the cause of another lost season. I can’t fight him, Ben.”
“Why the hell not?” Ben demanded. “You can beat him, man! You’re a straight A student and our best hope for a championship. You got some clout around here, Terry! And the coach admitted to the whole team he doesn’t even like basketball.”
“Just go, you guys! I’m tellin’ you I can’t fight him. You heard him, even if I get on the team I won’t be playing. So just go before he kicks your ass off the team too.”

Some of the boys left, but Ben and Marty, Evan, Mike and Jerry all stayed. They had been the core of the team last year and had all played together all summer in the inner city league. “If you don’t play, we don’t play,” Mike said firmly.
“I appreciate it, guys,” Terry said. He felt a warmth course through his body and he asked himself why it took an ugly incident like this to bring out the love and friendship the six obviously felt for each other. He didn’t know all their financial situations, but he knew at least two of them, Mike and Marty, would never go to college unless they could land a scholarship. They were putting their entire future on the line for him and he owed them the truth. He called them into a huddle so he could speak softly and be heard.

“The thing is this,” he said after he had checked that no one else was around, “I had my cock cut off last spring, it’s not important why, but the thing is my parents don’t know and I don’t want them to find out. It would kill my dad, and he doesn’t deserve that from me. If we make a big stink Dad’s gonna find out and I can’t take that risk. So go play ball. You guys got scholarships to go after.”
“What about your scholarship?” Marty asked. “You were a sure thing last year.”
“I’ll go to college with or without a scholarship,” Terry said confidently. “A good part of my college money is already in the bank. Besides there’s always next year.”
“You know better than that,” Jerry argued. “That’s not the way it works and you know it. You sit out this year for no reason then come back next year, first of all you’ll be out of shape and practice, and the scouts won’t even give you a second look. You gotta play, Terry!”
“I’ll think of something,” Terry answered. “Now please go, ok? Please?”

The other five did return reluctantly to the gym while Terry walked slowly to the locker room and got dressed. He wanted to cry so bad his eyes were burning, but he refused himself that luxury. Laura would be here to pick him up any minute now, and he wasn’t about to let her see him cry.

*****************************

You’re out of practice early,” Tim said when he pulled into the parking lot.
“I didn’t go,” Nate said as he got into the car.
“You didn’t go to ball practice?” Tim said with astonishment. “Aren’t you feeling well?”
“I just didn’t feel like going,” Nate answered irritably. “I’m thinking I might not play this year.”
“Not play basketball? Nate, you love basketball! What in the world’s going on? First you start moping around, never seem to be interested in anything any more, then Terry gets kicked off the team and now you’re gonna quit. What on earth?”
“Just drop it, Tim,” Nate snapped. “Just take me home, ok? I got a lot of homework tonight.”

Tim did as he was asked... well, ordered. He knew better than to argue, knowing the mood Nate had been in for the past week. Nate had told him every time he asked that he hadn’t done anything, that there were just some things he had to work out, but Tim still wasn’t convinced. He felt certain he must have done something, and now he was being punished for it. They had not spent a single night in the same bed since Nate’s mood had suddenly changed, and they hadn’t spent that much awake time together either. Tim continued to drive him to and from school when his schedule permitted, but Nate had remained aloof and seemingly uncaring.

“Do you want me to pick you up after dinner, so we can go car shopping?” Tim offered. “Your mom said you can get one now,” he reminded him.
“You gettin’ tired of driving me around?” Nate accused.
“What I’m gettin’ tired of is being treated like a criminal when I have no idea what I’ve done,” Tim shot back, his temper flaring. “I have to evaluate every single thing I say to you to be sure there’s not some hidden double meaning because you’re always gonna find something wrong with whatever I say. I thought you wanted your own car, but if you don’t then just forget it.”

They drove in silence the rest of the way home. Tim had no way of knowing, but Nate had taken his little display of temper as just one more rejection. He was becoming increasingly convinced that no one wanted him now. In his mind even Tim, for whom he’d had the surgery in the first place, didn’t understand what he was going through and didn’t care. On the other hand Tim was beginning to wonder if perhaps Nate was losing interest. But Tim knew it was more than that. Nate had been as enthusiastic about basketball as was Terry, but now that interest had disappeared as well. Could it be that he was feeling guilty about something? But if that were the case, then what was it? What had he done, or thought he’d done? Tim knew somehow that there were no other boys or girls in Nate’s life, at least from a romantic standpoint. Nate would never do such a thing, even if he did have the self confidence. He wondered if Nate was suspecting him again. He hadn’t been exchanging email with Carlos so that couldn’t be the problem. He searched his mental memory banks to think of some other incident that might have made Nate suspicious, but he could think of nothing.

“See you in the morning?” Tim offered as Nate reached for the door handle to get out of the car.
“If you want,” Nate answered indifferently. Tim grabbed his arm and held it tightly. “Why wouldn’t I want?” he demanded.
“I dunno,” Nate replied as he jerked his arm free and shrugged. “You tell me.”

**************************

It is sometimes very interesting how much trouble we can get into, how much pain we can cause, just by trying to do the right thing, trying to support what we think is wrong with someone else. It is also interesting, and sometimes devastating, just how self destructive a person can be when that person is suffering from depression. They hear things that are not said, and they don’t hear things that are said. They interpret what they hear and observe with a very warped perspective and everything, it seems, comes across as a personal attack or rejection. If we could somehow harness the energy that depression saps from our bodies and our minds, then turning that energy against us, there would be no need for the millions of gallons of Mid East oil we import every day. Such was the affliction now threatening to destroy two young cockless teens in Chicago: one 17 years old, one 15.

******************************

“Can we talk?” Tim asked after he’d knocked lightly on Terry’s door after dinner.
“I was kinda doing homework, Tim,” Terry answered. In truth he was taking advantage of the solitude of his room, getting ready to have a good cry. He had not allowed himself to cry since losing his place on the team, had tried not to show any emotion at all; but his irritability had shown very clearly that he was far more bothered than he wanted anyone to know. His relationship with Laura was strained at best. He was trying to “be a man,” to show his masculinity and hide his sensitivity, telling her over and over it was only a stupid game and that he could content himself with shooting baskets in his own driveway, but Laura had seen through the facade. She had sought out some of Terry’s teammates who had told her what had happened, but Terry found out and was downright offended that she had gone behind his back.

“You’re carrying a 4.0 average, little brother, but still you’re a mess,” Tim said as he entered Terry’s room. “The homework can wait. We’ve gotta talk, Terry.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Terry defended.
“There’s a hell of a lot to talk about,” Tim said forcefully. “I’ve gotta know what’s goin’ on, Terry. You didn’t make the cut at school, which in itself is unthinkable; you’re not getting along well with Laura, and now Nate’s thinking about quitting basketball and he won’t let me within six feet of him. Dammit, Terry, what the hell’s going on?”
“Why don’t you tell me, Tim?” Terry said defensively. “You seem to have all the answers. You’ve got your life together, you’re doing well at school, you’ve got everyone’s attention. You’re doing just fine, Tim. Why the hell are you here if you think my life is such a mess?”
“I’m here because you’re my brother and I care about you, Terry,” Tim replied. “For the record, I’m not doing just fine at all. Nate’s pissed off at something and won’t even talk to me about it, he’s quitting basketball, you’re sulking in your room all the time, I hardly ever see Jared any more. And in case you’ve forgotten, all three of you are now without the most important body part you’ve got outside your heart, because of ME! I’m not doing just fine at all, Terry! I feel like I’ve fucked up three lives... well, make that five lives. Laura loves you so much, and I love you and Nate both, so if your lives are a mess ours are too. So that’s why I’m here, Terry. I don’t have all the answers, but if it’s possible I’m gonna find them and get you guys back on track. It doesn’t feel very good where I’m sitting right now.”

Terry looked at his brother, and in his eyes he saw more love and concern than he’d seen for a very long time. But even so, he knew Tim didn’t really understand. Tim had never been a key player on a team as Terry had been. Oh sure, he’d done very well on two different swim teams, but he had never been in a position where he could be the difference between winning and losing. How could he possibly understand how Terry felt? What good would it do to explain how he felt, knowing as he spoke that he would not be understood, really understood. “You’re knocking yourself out over nothing, Tim,” he said. “I’m doing ok, just a little bummed out because I didn’t make the cut that’s all. I’ll get over it.”
“I don’t want you to just ‘get over it,’ Terry,” Tim said. “I want you to be what you’ve always been in my eyes. I want you to be the best, the champ! You didn’t just fail to make the cut and we both know it. What about your incontinence problem? Is that getting any better?”
“It’s comin’ slow but sure,” Terry replied. “I still gotta wear my baby underwear but it’s ok, I’m used to it now.”
“Then what?” Tim demanded.
“I guess... I guess I just miss playin’ ball more than I thought I would,” Terry said with a distant look in his eye.

Terry knew from past experience he wasn’t going to shake his brother until he’d told all, so he did. He didn’t try to lay all the blame on the coach because neither he nor Tim worked that way. He admitted that he’d started the confrontation by laughing at someone’s smart-ass remark, then things had gone steadily downhill from there. “He kicked you off the team because you laughed at a joke?” Tim asked incredulously.
“It was more than that,” Terry answered. “I think he’s pretty pissed off at coaching the team in the first place. He told us we were all wusses ‘cause we were playin’ basketball and not football.”
“He did, did he?” Tim remarked. “We’ll just have to see about that.”
“You can’t make a scene, Tim,” Terry pleaded. “You know what’s gonna happen if you do. Besides, I can’t play for him anyway. The team is doomed as long as he’s here, so what’s the point?”
“The point is he shouldn’t be there, Terry,” Tim said firmly. “And there’s more than one way to deal with an asshole teacher. I want you to write down the names and phone numbers of all your buddies on that team. Meanwhile I’m gonna call Uncle Jason.”
“Uncle Jason?”
“Uh-huh. He’ll know what to do. I’ve been having lunch with him a lot lately and he’s told me every time we talk how much he cares about us. He’ll help if he can, and I’m just betting he’ll have some ideas we’d never think of.”

****************************

“May I borrow your car tomorrow, Mom?” Nate asked as they ate dinner.
“Nate, honey, I have some errands I have to run tomorrow,” Valerie said. “If I had known I could’ve made other arrangements. But as it is, I’m sorry but need the car. Isn’t Tim picking you up?”
“Never mind, I’ll take the bus,” Nate snapped.
“Have you and Tim had a fight?” Valerie asked with concern. “You know he really hates the idea of you taking that bus.”
“I said never mind,” he said again, then went outside and slammed the door. Valerie assumed that he and Tim had had some sort of disagreement, but she was not about to permit that sort of behavior. She followed her son outside, but he was gone.

Four hours later, when he thought his mother would be in bed, Nate crept slowly in the back door and locked it behind him. Without stopping for his usual bedtime snack, he headed for his room. It was after 11 but he still had homework to do, not to mention the other plans he had before he would sleep. “Did you have fun, son?” Valerie asked from the darkness of the living room. “And perhaps more important, did you get over your little snit?”
“Not exactly,” he replied. “What are you doing still up, sitting there in the dark?”
“I suspect you already know the answer to that one,” she said. “But before we get into all that, Tim called about two hours ago. He said he wanted to apologize for losing his temper with you this afternoon.”
“Cool,” Nate said neutrally, then continued down the hall.

“Just a minute, young man,” Valerie said forcefully. “You and I have some talking to do.”
“It’s late, Mom,” Nate whined. “I still got homework to do and I gotta get up early in the morning.”
“You should’ve thought of that before you threw that tantrum and roared out of here in a fit of temper because you didn’t get your own way. So get back here, now!”

Valerie proceeded to inform Nate that his behavior was unacceptable and he knew it, that there were other ways to deal with whatever was bothering him. He didn’t try to defend himself because he knew she was right. He had already scolded himself while he was walking the streets aimlessly, but he knew he was going to get it all again. He apologized and she accepted the apology, but then she pointed out that there was still the kitchen to be cleaned up, which he had been doing for years without prodding. “Can’t it wait till tomorrow?” he asked.
“No it can not,” Valerie answered flatly. “If you had asked, I would gladly have done it; but since you just left it I assumed you intended to do it later. It’s already past my bedtime and I’m going, but I want to see a spotless kitchen when I get up in the morning.”

Valerie also told him that she’d had a rather long talk with Tim. “I assumed that you two had got into some sort of disagreement and that’s what was bothering you,” she said, “but he has no more idea what’s got into you than I have. I don’t like to interfere in your love life, Nate, but this is different. You’re acting the same as you did when you were 12 and I want you to snap out of it. You’re alienating everyone, and you’re hurting the ones who love you the most. If you’ve got a problem let’s hear it. If you’re angry at Tim or me, at least do us the courtesy of telling us about it. How else can we make right whatever we’ve done wrong?”
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Nate said truthfully, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just...”
“Then I suggest you find out and do something about it, or you’re going to wake up some morning a very lonely young man. Oh, and one more thing: Tim is worried sick that you’re going to quit basketball. You had better not, unless you have a very good excuse, or you’ll hear from me.”

Valerie kissed Nate’s forehead as she had always done, then headed for bed. She chuckled to herself as she walked down the hall, remembering the days when she had to bend over to perform her nightly ritual. Now she had to stand on her tiptoes, and even then it was a stretch. She heard him rattling about in the kitchen, putting things away, washing pots and pans, loading the dishwasher. She still had no idea what was bothering him, but she began to wonder if it had anything to do with his father and the fact that they’d never heard from him again after the night he’d showed up at Nate’s 16th birthday party.

******************************

After Tim had gone to bed, Terry put away his books and undressed for bed. He took a fresh pair of incontinent pants out of their hiding place, but he didn’t put them on. He laid them on the bed beside him and began to stroke and rub himself. He loved the feel of his crotch, how smooth it was with its thick mat of soft pubic hair, and how sensitive it was. He had not done this self manipulation for a long time because Laura always did it for him; but tonight it seemed to him that solitary masturbation was best after all. He remembered all the times he’d been upset over something and had consoled himself with a good wank. Tonight was one of those times, and if his raging phantom erection were any indication he should have no trouble succeeding.

He allowed his fingers to wander down to his ample hairless balls. He gasped as he took them in his hands and manipulated them. It felt so incredible! He reached further back until he found his pee-hole. Even that was sensitive and erotic to the touch! As he stroked and fondled, he thought of his wetting problem. Even that was beginning to improve, but even more surprising Terry had got used to his new underwear and the routine of changing, hiding, smuggling, so that he didn’t really mind wearing it any more. He wondered if he’d have to wear it the rest of his life, but he wasn’t really worried about it. Tonight all that really mattered was filling the padded briefs by his side with a big load of his teenage sperm, but he was about to be disappointed again.

Terry had no problem cumming when Laura manipulated him, in fact it often occurred too soon. They loved to cum together, but Terry’s climax was often over before Laura’s started. Tonight was different though. Tonight he was trying to bring himself to orgasm, and it wasn’t working. No matter how hard he tried, how good he made himself feel, he could only go so far and then the feeling subsided. Finally after trying for over an hour, he slipped into his padded briefs and drifted to sleep. Two hours later he awoke suddenly to a very wet sensation in his crotch, but it wasn’t urine. Terry had just had another wet dream.

***************************

It was a little after midnight when Nate finally flopped himself on his bed exhausted. He slithered out of his clothes and lay naked on top of the bed, touching himself. He remembered the beautiful penis that had adorned his body until a few months ago, and he was suddenly overcome with remorse. If only he hadn’t done it! If only he had waited as Tim had wanted him to do. If he had at least taken a picture of it, as Tim had done, at least he would have that to look at, to help him remember, perhaps he’d still be able to cum. He had planned to try to work himself to orgasm tonight, but now he was just too tired, too bummed out, too discouraged.

He had to admit he liked the smooth feeling that Doctor Smith had left him, and he absolutely loved how sensitive it was becoming. His thick dark bush had grown back even thicker, and it seemed to him a lot softer than it had been before. But no one else seemed to appreciate it. Even Tim had not touched him for almost two weeks. In his depressed state, Nate completely forgot that Tim had tried several times, but his efforts had been in vain. All Nate could seem to remember was that there had been no touching, no intimacy for a long time.

Nate’s mind roamed back to the scene in the hallway where he’d heard the group of boys talking about him. There had been other incidents since then. He had made a point of listening to others’ conversations, all it seemed to him laughing at someone behind their back, poking fun or being downright insulting. In many cases the conversations were not even about him, but Nate didn’t know that. In his mind he had become the laughing stock of the school. Everyone was talking about him, laughing at him, even downright repulsed by him. That’s ok, he thought to himself, I don’t care if anybody else likes it or not. I love it! But it was a lie. Like any teenager, he cared a great deal what others thought of him. No matter right now though, he was enjoying the sensations he was giving himself even if they were not bringing him to orgasm. He rolled over and buried his face in his pillow, his hand still fondling his crotch gently, and he cried himself to sleep.

****************************

Tim sat in the Seymore driveway with the engine running, waiting for Nate to come out. He had tooted the horn once, but still there were no signs of life. He was just thinking of getting out and going to the door when Valerie appeared. “What are you doing here, Tim?” she asked.
“What am I doing here? Same thing I do here every morning, I’m waiting for Nate,” Tim replied, somewhat confused and more than a little agitated. “If he doesn’t get moving I’m gonna be late for class.”
“Nate’s gone,” Valerie said. “He left a half hour ago to catch the school bus.”
“The bus? But why?”
“I have no idea, Tim,” she said. “I assumed you couldn’t pick him up when he asked to borrow the car, but I’m going to need the car today.

Now Tim was really annoyed. The inconvenience of driving Nate to school wasn’t the problem, nor was he concerned that it had been a wasted effort this morning. But Tim had a real phobia about those school buses. He had never had to ride one himself, and he was downright afraid of them. He drove to where Valerie told him the bus stop was, but it had already left. He headed his little red car towards the freeway that would take him to his “L” stop, and he seethed all the way. It was time, he told himself, to bring this matter to a head.

Nate sat on the big yellow bus, asking himself over and over why he had done such a thing. He knew Tim would be there to get him and he’d be gone, and he also knew that Tim didn’t want him riding the school bus. After listening to Tim’s preaching about what he called the “big yellow coffin,” Nate had himself developed a fear of them, and yet here he was riding one. What on earth was wrong with him anyway? He was beginning to think perhaps he was losing his mind. Yes, that was it, he was going crazy! That would certainly explain the bizarre way he’d been acting lately. He had even read accounts, mostly fiction but accounts none the less, about men who had lost their penis and not their balls. It was only a matter of time, those stories had predicted, until the victim went totally insane.

Just before he left the house Nate’s mom had given him another lecture, and she had been none too kind about it. His mind went over their conversation again and again as the big bus bumped along. “Whatever you’re dealing with, I want you to know that I’m here and ready to help you with it,” she had said. “I’m still your mother and I still love you as much as I ever did, though God knows you haven’t been very lovable lately. But please trust me, Nate. I think I’ve proved I can be trusted and I really want to help you.”
“But there’s nothing wrong, Mom,” Nate had argued.
“Well in that case I’ll expect a lot more of a human being when I see you tonight,” his mom had told him. “If you’re not going through some difficult time, and you’re not having to deal with something that’s making you so irritable, then you had better snap out of it, and right now!”

She had hugged him then, more tightly than she’d hugged him for a long time. “I love you, sweetheart,” she whispered; then she had smacked him on the ass just like she used to do and told him to get going or he’d miss the bus. “And don’t you dare cut basketball practice tonight,” she called after him.

Now he was on a big yellow bus full of noisy, chattering, cursing kids who were for the most part ignoring him. Oh well, that was better than insulting him or making fun of him. Or was it?

****************************

As luck would have it, when Tim started to call the boys on the list Terry had given him he started with Ben, who was overjoyed when Tim identified himself. “I was hoping to talk to someone to knock some sense into Terry,” he said. “He’s such a great guy, and we need him really bad on the team, especially now.”
“Now?” Tim questioned.
“Yeah,” Ben said. “Coach Sweet isn’t really coaching at all. All he ever does is call us all wimps because we’re playing basketball, a woman’s game he says, instead of going out for a real sport like basketball. I really think we all know more than he does about the game. He’s got a real attitude because he wants to be coaching football but there were no openings. He keeps telling us that’s the only reason he’s here, and morale is getting real bad. He’s gonna ruin all our chances if someone doesn’t do something, Tim.”
“That’s why I called,” Tim said. “I got your name, and a bunch of others, from Terry. I thought maybe we could get together and try and come up with an idea.”
“Say no more,” Ben said excitedly. “If you can be at Dino’s Pizza joint tonight at 6 I’ll make sure all the guys are there. I dunno what we can do, ‘cause we’ve already tried throwing all our games and screwing up real bad in practice, but Sweet doesn’t even care. He just cusses us and calls us stupid, then tells us we couldn’t win a game of tiddly winks.”
“It’s ok,” Tim said. I’ve got to get to class now, but I’ll see you at 6. I think I might have an idea.”

*****************************

“What are you doin’ here?” Nate asked when he walked up to Tim, sitting in his car waiting for him.
“Same thing I do every day, picking you up.” Tim said sharply. “Get in.”
“I was gonnna take the bus home...”
“Get in the fuckin’ car!” Tim ordered angrily. Nate did.

“I want to make one thing very clear,” Tim said as he turned off the stereo. Nate noticed that he was driving slowly, carefully, deliberately. He knew his boyfriend was properly pissed off and he could guess the reason. “You can be angry at me if you like, you can treat me like dirt, refuse to sleep with me, keep me in the dark as to what’s wrong, but as long as you and I are together YOU ARE NOT TO TAKE THAT FUCKIN’ SCHOOL BUS AGAIN! EVER!”
“I’m sorry, I shoulda called,” Nate defended.
“That’s beside the point,” Tim shot back. “Not calling me like that was just a lack of common courtesy, part of treating me like dirt, and you can do that if you like. If it gives you some sort of rush to treat me that way then knock yourself out. But if you had called I woulda been in your house long before you left, and I’d a tied you up if I had to to keep you from taking that bus and I think you knew that.”

“That’s silly, Tim,” Nate said nervously. He knew very well how Tim felt about school buses, and he knew Tim was even more furious than he’d expected. “Thousands of kids take those buses every day.”
“Uh-huh, and some of ‘em don’t ever come home. I told you the day we got together that you would never have to take the bus to school again, and I meant it, Nate. Now do we have an agreement or not?”
“I don’t understand what’s the big deal,” Nate said as they pulled into the Seymore driveway. “What do you care anyway?” He regretted making that last comment even before the sound had traveled to Tim’s ears. Now he had really done it!

Tim didn’t answer. He got out of the car and followed Nate into the house. Valerie wasn’t home and wouldn’t be for at least another hour, and he had decided to settle this argument once and for all, at least as far as the school bus issue was concerned. He could feel his face flushing scarlet, and he knew he would soon be screaming and he didn’t want the neighbors hearing. Once inside the house, Tim took a handful of Nate’s shirt and pushed him against the wall. “I care because I love you and I don’t want anything to happen to you, Nathan Seymore,” he said evenly, his nose an inch from Nate’s. “But if you have to ask that question, maybe I have a few of my own to ask. Maybe I should be asking if you want me to just leave you alone. Maybe I need to know if you still want my love, because you’re sure not giving me any positive signals lately.”

Tim’s last comments jarred Nate back to reality, just a little. He was suddenly so afraid that he had driven Tim away that he began to shake violently. But still, even though he was terrified that he might lose the best thing that had ever happened to him, his anger and frustration, his depression, his feeling of hopelessness and low self esteem would not allow him to say what his heart was screaming at him to say. “You just don’t understand, Tim,” he said defensively.
“You’re right, I don’t understand at all,” Tim agreed. “I’m trying real hard to understand, but you’re not making it any easier for me. But for the record I do love you, Nate. I love you so fuckin’ much I think I’d die if I lost you. But lately it seems to me that’s exactly what I’m doing: losing you.”

Nate tried to shake himself free, but Tim held him firmly. “Mom says she loves me, then gives me shit. You say you love me, then you yell and scream at me and make like you’re gettin’ ready to hit me. I can’t feel much love, Tim,” Nate accused. “I don’t feel much love at all.”
“Maybe that’s because you won’t allow yourself to feel it,” Tim suggested. “Maybe you’re enjoying being the biggest asshole in town too much to feel anything as trivial as love. Maybe you’re hurting over something, God knows what because you won’t tell us, and you want to share the hurt. That’s ok, Nate, I WANT to share your hurt and I’m sure your mom does too. But we’re not sharing YOUR hurt, we’re getting hurt of our own to deal with, and you’re still dealing with all of yours all by yourself. So if you really want to know if I still love you, if you still love me and still want me, why don’t you try trusting me just one more time? Why don’t we just go back to your room and close the door, then we’ll talk. Give me a chance to prove I love you. Please?”

“Does that mean you’ll let go of my shirt and let me go?” Nate asked, a very defiant tone in his voice.
“I’ll never let you go,” Tim said, “at least not willingly.” With that remark he did let go of Nate’s shirt, but before Nate could move away from the wall Tim had picked up the astonished boy and carried him down the hall to his bedroom. There he plopped him on the bed, then closed and locked the door. He then lay down on the bed next to Nate and slid his hand under Nate’s shirt, then began rubbing his back gently. “Just tell me, Nate,” he whispered. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

Nate did. He started to cry as he related the incident in the hallway at school, then he went on to tell about all the other things he’d overheard, some directed at him and some not; but somehow he had assumed that they were all about him. “They all think I’m some kinda weirdo,” he sobbed. “No one cares that I’m a good student, a good basketball player, I don’t do drugs or drink or smoke, but no one cares. All they see is a geek with no dick.”
“Uh-huh,” Tim said softly after he’d kissed his distressed lover, “I suspect you’ve blown it a bit out of proportion, but even if you’re right, what do you care? Your mom loves you, I love you, so do Terry and my parents, even little Timmy, so what does it matter what they think? Even if you had a dick, would they ever get to touch it or play with it?”
“Well, no, but...”

“But what, Nate? You should feel sorry for them. They might never know what you and I already know. They might never have the experience of loving someone so completely and totally that they’re willing to give up sex for life, just to demonstrate that love. That’s so special, so... so devoted! If I live to be a thousand years old I’ll never forget the look on your face when you woke up after the surgery. You were so totally happy that you’d done that for me! And you wanna know something else, Nate? I know... God knows I know... how totally frustrating it can be that we can’t cum any more. Sometimes I think I’m gonna explode I need to cum so bad; but when I stop and think about it, I’m glad I can’t cum. It means to me that all I have left is what we’re doing right now: holding each other, being close, kissing and touching, talking, sharing our lives. And we can enjoy those things so much more because there’s no thought of going on to the next level, because there is no next level. We know we’re not gonna cum, so being close and whispering ‘I love you’ is all we’ve got, and it makes these times so incredibly special! I do love you, Nate! I love you so much I can’t wait to see you every day. Sometimes I sit in some boring Sociology class, or Economics, or Physics, and I have to fight to get your image out of my head so I can listen to the lecture, and I can’t wait to see you, hold you, hear your voice. So the hell with those guys! They don’t know what they’re missing!”

Tim and Nate made passionate love. As always, neither of them had an orgasm. They were both wishing they would, but their beautiful young bodies simply would not cooperate. Perhaps it was just as well because their experience, the excruciatingly wonderful feelings they were giving each other would have been overshadowed had one or the other of them had a climax. As it was, they had nothing but each other, which was fine just then for both of them. They heard Valerie come home, but they knew she would not violate their privacy once she saw Nate’s door closed so they paused only briefly.

“I’ve gotta go,” Tim announced as they lay naked together on the bed. “I’ve got a meeting at 6 and I can’t be late.”
“Meeting? What kinda meeting?” Nate wanted to know. Tim explained what was going on with Terry’s ball team and how he was getting together with Terry’s friends to try and figure out some way to get him back on the team and get Coach Sweet off. “So let me get this straight,” Nate said with an impish grin. “You make love to me, then you go rushing outta here to meet a whole team of gorgeous 16 and 17 year old jocks?”
“You got it,” Tim replied with an equally devilish grin. “I’m not gonna miss a meeting like that.” He somehow knew that the ice had been broken, that Nate was back to trusting him; at least he hoped so.

“I’m goin’ with you,” Nate said as he reached for his boxers.
“Nate, I thought you’d consider them the enemy,” Tim protested.
“They’re the enemy on the basketball floor, but they’re also colleagues,” Nate answered. “We’re playin’ them Friday night and we’ll be enemies then. Right now they’re in trouble and I’m gonna help if I can. Besides, I got my interests to protect.”

There was a good turnout at the Pizzeria. Nate had called Tim’s parents as they drove to tell them he wouldn’t be home for dinner, and they were pleasantly surprised to discover that the entire team was waiting for them. Tim was also more than a little surprised that Nate was welcomed as one of their own, even though he played for an opposing team. Ben, who had been appointed spokesman for the group, began by reviewing all the incidents before and after the day Terry had been cut from the team. “We’ve used the only weapon we’ve got,” he told Tim and Nate. “We’ve played two games and we’ve lost them both miserably and on purpose, hoping we’d get the principal’s attention, but Sweet just tells him we’re a bunch of lazy-ass pussies and the principal believes him. He’s kinda over a barrel anyway because he’s got nobody else to take the team.”
“You haven’t even begun to use your only weapon,” Nate said. “I think I know how to get him good.”
“Even if we did get him out, what would we do then?” another of the team asked. “Bad as he is, he’s a coach. Without him we don’t have a coach so we don’t have a team.”

“Basically we’ve got four problems,” Marty pointed out. “We’ve lost our star player and we’ve somehow got to get him back, we’ve got a piece of crap for a coach. If we get rid of him, then we’ve got no coach.”
“That’s three,” Nate said. “What’s the fourth?”
“The fourth is whatever we do, we’re gonna have to do it quietly. Terry told us he didn’t want any publicity,” Ben explained. “I suspect you know why, Tim.”
“I know why,” Tim agreed. “I think Nate’s got an idea that will get rid of Sweet without any publicity, in fact Sweet himself will help us keep it quiet. I think I have an idea for a coach, and I know I can talk Terry into coming back if he has the chance. As for getting rid of Sweet, I think Nate has come up with an excellent idea how we can get him gone without a whisper. Nate, why don’t you tell ‘em about it?”
“If this gets out, my team’s gonna kill me,” Nate said with a grin. “You guys are gonna have to agree not to let anyone know this was my idea. Without Midwestern High, Lincoln has a real shot at the championship, but I don’t wanna win it that way. If we beat you I want it to be something to brag about.”

Everyone agreed willingly to Nate’s stipulation, then they all huddled to hear his idea. After they were all in agreement that they’d try it, Tim ordered pizza for them all and they filled their teenage bellies while they worked out the details of the plan. Step 1 would be executed at practice on Thursday night, then step 2 would go into operation at the game on Friday night. Tim promised to have Terry and Laura at the game.

“That took a lot of guts,” Tim observed when they were on their way home. “Thanks for coming to the meeting, Nate.”
“Thanks for letting me come,” Nate said with a smile. “I think that was what I needed to get my head back on straight. Those guys seemed really glad to see me even though I play for their biggest rival. You gonna stay at my house tonight?”
“I dunno, Nate,” Tim said doubtfully, “I got homework that just won’t wait.”
“You can do it at my house,” Nate offered. “Please, Tim?”

*************************

“You seem in a much better mood, Honey,” Valerie remarked when Nate and Tim bounced noisily into the house.
“Yeah, Mom,” Nate said, “it was all in my mind. Thanks to you and Tim,” he shot Tim a loving look, “I think I’ve got it straight this time.”
“Not quite,” Valerie corrected. “I think it only right to point out to you that this has been your second major bum-out since your surgery, and I don’t know if I can take another one, so if you feel another depression coming on you’d better either plan to discuss it with Tim or me, or find another home.”

Nate knew his mom was kidding, but he also knew he owed her a major apology. He did that, then he led Tim down to his bedroom where they were soon both involved in their homework.

*****************************

Jared Wallace sat in his luxurious apartment, staring unseeing into his computer screen, wondering what on earth had just happened. He had been at class today as usual, but as he walked to his new Corvette after class he had been approached by a young man he’d often seen in Chemistry lab. “Wait up, Jared,” the young man called. “I been watching you for weeks now and decided it’s time you got yourself a life. C’mon with me and let’s go have a pizza and beer.”
“I don’t drink,” Jared had replied. “And even if I did I’m under age. I can’t get beer legally.”
“Shit man, where you been?” the young man had said with a laugh. “I’m under age too, but what’s that got to do with anything? C’mon, man! I know where age doesn’t matter, and it’s time you cut those apron strings and had some fun. C’mon, Jared. Please?”

Jared had gone with the young man, whose name he learned was James. James, it turned out, was as poor as Jared was rich, but he had one thing that Jared had never dreamed of. He knew how to have a good time. He was also incredibly infatuated with Jared. They had gone to a gay bar that James knew about and there they had enjoyed one of the best pizzas Jared had ever tasted, then washed it down with several bottles of beer. His inhibitions greatly reduced now, Jared had allowed himself to be led to the dance floor where he had danced with another male for the first time, and he had enjoyed it immensely.

The party had gone on for several hours until Jared had finally announced that he had to get home else he would never get up in the morning for class. “Can I see you again?” James asked. “You’re a lot of fun, Jared, whether you care to admit it or not. And I... I like being with you... a lot.”
“I enjoyed it,” Jared had replied. “Thanks for bringing me here. I’d like to see you again, but I dunno... I mean, there are things you don’t know...”
“I know all I need to know,” James had responded. “I know I want to see you again, and I want to see more of you, man.”

Jared didn’t say any more. In fact he couldn’t even if he wanted to because James’ lips were clamped tightly against his. They kissed deeply, passionately, urgently. Jared had never had a kiss like this before but he most certainly didn’t want it to be his last. “I don’t know if it’d be wise to see you again,” Jared said when they finally broke the kiss. “If you only knew...”
“Don’t give me that ‘if you only knew’ line,” James had said pleadingly. “Just say you’ll see me again Friday night, please?”
“I don’t know, James. I...”
“I’ll be waiting for you in the parking lot Friday afternoon, ok?”

Jared had expected something magic to happen after his genitals had been removed. He thought that somehow he would never be confronted by a scene like this, and even if he were propositioned he would know exactly what to do. But he hadn’t counted on falling in love, balls or no balls, hormones or no. But James had made him feel so alive, so treasured, so wanted! For the first time since his surgery, Jared began to realize that being a nullified eunuch might not be the total answer to everything he’d thought it would be. For the first time since his nullification, Jared began to wonder if he’d made a very large mistake.

**************************

“What’re ya doing, you big, handsome cockless freak?” Nate said as he slid his arms down Tim’s front to his groin. He had been sitting at his desk, working out some geometry problems for tomorrow while Tim’s fingers were flying over the keyboard of his laptop, typing out a paper that was due in the morning. When Nate had finished and put away his books, Tim had been so engrossed he hadn’t even noticed.

“SHIT!” Tim exclaimed. “Now look what I’ve done!” Nate looked over Tim’s shoulder and burst out laughing when he saw what Tim had just typed: When George V of England abdicated the throne to marry an American divorcee, he was succeeded by a handsome, cockless freak.

“It seems your mind is not exactly on your work,” Nate said as he continued to giggle. “Maybe you’d better quit for the night and come to bed.”
“I gotta get this done, Nate,” Tim said, trying his best not to show his amusement. “Just gimme a few more minutes. I’ll get it all typed tonight then proof it in the morning before we leave.”
“Finish it in the morning, Tim,” Nate pleaded. “After I get through with you, you’ll be able to concentrate better. And besides, I got this incredible phantom hardon that hurts like hell. I was kinda hoping you might try and find it for me. No one can find a phantom hardon better than you and your educated lips.”

Tim knew there was no point in trying to concentrate now. He saved his work and shut down the computer, then adjusted Nate’s alarm to go off a half hour early and turned out the lights. In less time than it takes to tell, the two lovers were locked in a tight embrace, both naked, both urgently trying to achieve as much body contact as humanly possible.

Never before had they kissed so deeply. Never before had it been so sweet, so right, so totally fulfilling. Each roamed over the other’s body with his lips, his hands, his entire being. Each shuddered at the ministrations of the other. Tim’s “educated lips” had very soon found their way to the thick soft bush of Nate’s smooth, soft pubic area and he began kissing, nuzzling, probing with his tongue. It’s extremely difficult to determine who was enjoying Tim’s efforts more, but suffice to say they were both in a world of extreme ecstacy. “T-tim,” Nate gasped after about 20 minutes, “I... I think... OMYGAWD Tim, I’m... I’m...”

Nate didn’t finish the sentence; he didn’t have to. His final word trailed off into a high-pitched squeak as his entire body shuddered violently, and they both knew that Nate was having an orgasm. And if they didn’t already have enough evidence, the tiny hole between Nate’s legs suddenly erupted with volley after volley of thick white semen. Tim had a fleeting moment of envy, but that thought was quickly overridden by a sense of complete satisfaction, of thankfulness, of gratitude that he had finally brought his lover to orgasm without benefit of the customary male organ.

“Maybe you’ll cum next time,” Nate said as they settled for sleep in each other’s arms.
“Yeah, maybe,” Tim said dreamily. “But don’t worry about it, Nate. It’s ok. Orgasm or not, it was so incredibly good, just being with you and pushing you over the top!”
“I love you, Tim,” Nate whispered as he kissed him on the cheek. He didn’t know if Tim had heard him or not, because Tim was now fast asleep.

Next: XXXI Friends Take Care Of Their Own