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For those of you who get their kicks from the removal or destruction of male genitalia - other peoples, not their own, but are getting a little bored with using the same old knife or elastrator, I have put together a list of suggestions for making the process more interesting and enjoyable for all. Well, maybe not all - there are always some party-poopers who object to being on the receiving end of these, sometimes painful ministrations. Before I begin, I must state that where you obtain your subjects and the equipment to use on them is your business, not mine. 1. Cut the Tail off the Donkey This is a variation of the old party favorite - Pin the tail on the donkey. Scatter half a dozen naked males around the room and attach a simulated tail to the cock of one of them. The contestant is armed with a sharp knife or other suitable implement and he is given 30 seconds to find the donkey tail and cut it off. All the subjects are allowed to move except the one with the tail. 1 point is awarded. for each second under the 30 that the contestant takes to complete his task. Before going on I should advise the active participants that some method should be used to limit the numbers playing each game. After all, it it would spoil the fun if you run out of body parts before the end of the evening. For this reason it is a good idea to disallow the removal of both cock and balls during one game. 2. Ding the balls We are all familiar with the old fairground test of strength where you have to hit a lever hard enough to send an object up a pole to ring a bell at the top. This works in much the same way except that the sledgehammer sends a guillotine up a track in order to cut the balls off a subject fastened to the top of the track. I'll leave the means of positioning the subject to you people. 50 points for a successful hit. 3. Darts This one is simple - the subject has his cock and balls poked through a hole in the centre of a dartboard - with his cock stapled in a vertical position to keep it out of the way of his balls. Each contestant gets 3 darts and scores 10 points if he pierces a ball or the cock. He or she gets no points for a second hit on the same target. In the case of a tie at the end the contestants keep throwing until one misses the target. That contestant then drops out. The winner gets to remove either the subjects cock or his balls by whatever method he or she chooses. 4. Shooting gallery. This is just like the fairground duck shooting game except that the ducks have been replaced by subjects lying on their backs with their cocks fixed in a vertical position. If a contestant hits a cock he gets to detach it. 5 Poker Each player is given 2 complete subjects as his stake for betting. A ball or a cock are of equal value for betting purposes. The game continues until one player has won all the cocks and balls - or earlier by mutual agreement. The players may choose to use the actual cocks and balls to bet with, or use tokens which are redeemed for the real thing at the end of the game. Owing to its heavy usage of genitalia this game should be saved for the end of the party. 6. Grab the Balls This is a game where the contestant is remotely controlling a crane with a claw on the end with which to grab the balls of a subject who is rotating on a platform. If he or she thinks they have a good grip on the subjects balls they can raise the crane. The sharp claws are capable of tearing the balls right off the subject.
The remaining games are a bit different in that only the organizer of the party or someone delegated for the task performs any surgery. The contestants merely bet on the outcome of each operation. 7. Kitty Kapers A subject has the bottom of his scrotum removed and his testicles pulled out as far as possible so that they are hanging on their cords. The subject is then seated on the edge of a chair with one ball hanging down on each side of a partition. A kitten is placed under each ball and they should then be interested enough in the (hopefully) swinging balls that they will try to catch them with their sharp claws. The contestants place bets on which kitten will capture and detach the first ball. If you don't have kittens experiment with other animals or even birds. Just don't use squirrels - they aren't interested in those kind of nuts. 8. The Acid Test You may want to give this one a miss as it causes prolonged pain and too much screaming spoils the party. You need to get hold of some very strong acid - hydrochloric or nitric are probably suitable. Inject 10 ccs into each side of the subjects scrotum. The contestants take part in a lottery - the winner is the person who holds the ticket marked with the length of time closest to the time it takes for the acid to eat through to the outside of the scrotum. 9. The Guillotine This is also a time-based lottery. A guillotine is held up by a cord that is being eaten away by acid (or by fire if you prefer). After a certain length of time the cord will break and another cock or set of balls will bite the dust. 10. Tug-of-war The subjects are divided into 2 teams. The contest is just like a regular tug-of-war. The only difference is that instead of a line the losing team must be pulled across there are two detonator plates one each side of the center line. Each team's balls are conntected to this plate by a wire to a small amount of explosive wrapped around their scrotums. When the losing team is pulled on to the plate their balls will be blown off. At the same time the other plate will be deactivated. Contestants will bet on the team of their choice. That should be enough for an evening's entertainment. What to do with the harvest of cocks and balls? I suggest keeping them on ice until the end of the party and then having a barbecue. Invite the subjects too. Without them there wouldn't have been a party. Don't forget to provide for medical treatment for the subjects. Have fun.
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