Permanent Change VI

She is forty-two, the years are beginning to take their toll. The alterations to her body, her nullification were also beginning to dry her up. In a few years she realized she would be a dried up old maid. Better than hanging out in some meat market bar getting picked up by a lounge lizard. She had her work and it was quite satisfying.

A new customer entered and went to the counter to order, for some reason she took notice of him, rather than the technical paper she intended to read. He was what would be considered attractive in a mature way. He had a slight halo of gray through his dark brown hair; he appeared to be muscular from work rather than working out. Dress was work, real Levi’s, not designer jeans, tea shirt with a loose flannel shirt and a pair of work boots that were being used for work, rather than a social statement. He ordered, apparently intending to eat in he sat in the next booth facing her and said ‘Hi’ as he sat down. She went back to reading her paper intently in an effort to ignore him. At this point it dawned on her how socially inept she had become.

“Nice weather for this time of year?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“I hate to eat alone, and am harmless, could I join you?”

He’s hitting on me. “Yes, you may.” I cannot believe I said that.

So the conversation began he was 46, divorced one child, now grown, and had a small contracting firm, which accounted for his dress, no live in companions. She gave her occupation, psychiatrist, age 42, and also divorced, no children, and of course no permanent attachments.

They had a mutually enjoyable conversation for two hours. Suddenly she looked at her watch” Omi gosh, its eleven P.M. and I have surgery in the morning.”

“I thought you said you were a head shrinker?”

“That’s right, but before I began shrinking heads my specialty was as a general surgeon. Most psychiatrists should not be allowed to clip their own toenails, I am however very good with a scalpel.”

“Doctors are doctors, aren’t they?”

“No surgeons are like the western gun fighter sent in to clean up Dodge City, we rush in make a cut here or a cut there, and ride off into the sunset, out job is done. Head Shrinkers, they are like the ol maid school marm, we stay around forever talking and talking.”

“Look give me your phone number, and lets have dinner on Sunday, there is a restaurant here down by the river that has a baked scrod as good as in Boston? My name is Jim by the way.”

“I don’t believe the part about as good as Boston, but it sounds like fun, but no pressure now.”

“What do you mean no pressure?"

“My first husband was a philanderer of the worst sort, uncontrollable, I don’t believe in sex outside of marriage for anyone, and also I have some physical limitations, so it’s a date only under those conditions.”

“Well there are no beds in the restaurant, and the phone booth is really small, so it sounds like a date.”

The doctor couldn’t believe she was actually going on a date. She had no social life to speak of, she went to meetings, treated her patients, and wrote papers. It was like the senior prom for her, but it was all mental; there was no stirring in her loins, no juice flowing in anticipation, all the anticipation was in her mind, she was lonely for companionship.

Sunday came, and she was full of school girl giggles, as she was escorted to the restaurant. The meal was good, the wine tasty, and the conversation a wonderful change for her.

There was a lull in the conversation and Jim asked: “You said you had surgery the other day, what kind of surgery do you do.”

“Jim that requires a long explanation, are you really sure you want to hear it?”

“You psychiatrists always answer a question with a question.”

“Why not?”

“Gee that is frustrating, yes, I’d like to hear.”

“We are coming to the conclusion that most mental disease, as opposed to mental defects are caused by chemical imbalances. Someday there may be no head shrinker’s it all will be endocrinologists. They will test your chemistry, find out what is wrong where the problem is and give you a shot and you will be normal. I have a very narrow specialty; that is the treatment of individuals with sexual addiction. Counseling is long and costly, if the syndrome is severe, I recommend surgery and nullify the patient.”

“Explain nullify to me.”

In the case of a woman an OB/GYN removes her ovaries first, this induces enforced menopause, she is taken off hormone supplements. The balance of the treatment is more or less symbolic a passing over if you will, I remove her nipples, her clitoris, and suture her vagina shut.”

“Wow.”

“No bad puns now, I have heard them all.”

“Okay, what about men.”

“Men, once it has been determined that syndrome is bad enough, and their desire for relief is strong the surgery is a bi-lateral orchiotomy and partial phalloectomy. If the man is married then his nipples are removed also and given to his wife, again symbolism. Married couples both must consent to the procedure and are done in tandem.”

“Phallus has something to do with the penis, but the other one I don’t recognize.”

“To be quite crude, I take male patients into my side room and chop their cock and balls off, they are then eunuchs, and get on with their lives. They all have a morbid pre occupation with sex, and cannot get satisfaction; I remove the source of their problems. Chemistry you know. Want to visit my room sometime, you’d really enjoy it.”

“You will pardon me if I decline your kind invitation.”

“Oh that is too bad, I would make it a festive event for you, balloons that say ‘Their Off’ a sign on the door ‘Welcome Eunuch’” Too much wine.

“Pass.”

“I’m sorry, if you want, I will leave now, many people avoid me, and that includes my colleague doctors because of what I do and my theories.” She replied.

“No, don’t be silly, this has been very enjoyable, just don’t pull out any sharp instruments.”

“I promise, not even the butter knife.”

“Where do these people come from and how do you convince them to give up there, what, essence?”

“Actually from everywhere, now some of my associates have seen the light, and agree that rather than two or three years of very expensive counseling, which may do nothing more than waste their money; for individuals and couples two or three hours in the operating room, and they can live in peace and harmony. It is much less expensive and in the case of males 100% effective.”

“That really doesn’t explain much.”

“Alright. You are really a bunch of chemicals. A flash of thigh, a girl bends over, a glance at a bulging breast, or a whiff of womanly musk and your little chemical factories between you leg shot out a bunch of testosterone. Now this may be great when you are 20, 30 or even 40. It may not be so great if you have no outlet, or you get side tracked into using prostitutes or pornography. It may very bad distraction. Then on top of all this present day society is built on youth and sex. To those that it becomes pathological, a simple removal of those little chemical factories solves the problem.”

“But.”

“Jim most of the men are 45 years old and up, as are the women. Most have past their reproductive years, and have no desire for more children. Neither the men nor the women have need for their sex organs, and getting rid of those useless pieces of flesh improves their quality of life.”

“Yes, I guess, but it sounds sort of Nazi like.”

“I don’t force anyone into my surgical suite. All my patients now know, that nullification is an option. For various reasons including the number of referrals I am getting the patient is informed during the first session that one form of treatment is surgical, and that the decisions is revocable right up to the time they step through the door of my surgical theatre. Everyone understands that by stepping over the threshold into the suite they are giving me implied permission to nullify them.”

“Why do you seem so firm on that point?”

“Even though a man, or woman for that matter, has made up their mind that things must change for them and on intellectual level agree eliminating their sex organs will solve the problems, on a visceral level they are tenuous. In other words they chicken out on the cut. So I make it plain when they step through the door, the items in question are going to remain in the room regardless of what they say or offer me. The door is locked, and I use a paralyzing agent once they are on the table, so it is nearly impossible for them to walk out. The final cut for both male and female is done remotely and the patient triggers the cut, some times it takes a while for them to pull the trigger.”

“What’s the record?'

“My ex, he took seven hours before he finally agreed that this was the best solution. He was a classic case of testosterone addiction.”

“You castrated your ex-husband, now that is a divorce.”

“He was technically still my husband at the time, the ex came later. It was his profile on which I based the balance of my work. He, for his part, is quite happy now, he is a brilliant man and a wonderful doctor, who never gets distracted.”

“What if you make a mistake?”

“That falls into the category of ‘tough tukus’. One of the reasons for removing the phallus in men; is so they will not be tempted to use Viagra, injections or testosterone. They loose total interest in pornography, prostitutes, and don’t spread SDS. A woman on the other hand could have the sutures removed and resume sexually activity with the aide of lubricants and estrogen. None of my patients in my survey have admitted doing that yet. There is no way for a man to regain any semblance of a sex life.”

“What about people that are terminally strange?”

‘Those I try to weed out, surgical addicts, body modification addicts, and homosexuals of both genders. No prejudices, it is just not something I know enough about to make an informed judgment upon.”

“You mean all of the men and women you treat are heterosexual?”

“Yes, oh I am sure some have had a homosexual experience here or there. You know in gutter talk, have ‘queered out’ under the influence and woke up with the wrong gender doing them, but in the main these patients are straight.”

“Every once in a while you throw me with you turn of phrase.”

“My dear Jim, I have heard everything you can imagine and some you cannot. I know of one patient that sucks his dog’s cock in front of his wife. Some even further out than that, so I could probably embarrass all of your workers if the desire struck me.”

“Still castration, every man’s nightmare.”

“Or dream.”

“Dream?”

“Yes, many men have a morbid fascination with the subject. Tell me Jim did you have get an erection when I told you about my specialty?”

“Why I.”

“See, many of my male patients ejaculate when the blade cuts them, their genitalia is on the floor, and there is ejaculate coming out the catheter.”

“That now is pretty hard to believe.”

“No, it is the ultimate sexual experience. The couples are the sweetest; the professions of love from the women as she is asked to cut her husband are just thrilling. You know these couples will never separate.”

“What’s to prevent the woman from talking a lover?”

“With couples both have to be nullified. I have had women drag their husbands in on some rumor they heard of me, most will not go through the qualifying event, a removal of her ovaries, then I can be assured she is sincere. Look, Jim it is late, I have so enjoyed today, but am not used to the wine and I have patients to see tomorrow, must be getting home.”

“Doctor this has been a marvelous afternoon, I don’t think I have ever met a woman as fascinating as you.”

“Don’t get to fascinated Jim, you may wind up in my room.”

“Let’s just put that one aside for the time being. How about coming to my place for dinner on Wed, real Marinara Sauce with the best Italian Sausage, is it a date?”

“Jim I don’t know today was fun, but my work, you know.”

“No pressure, no three circuits around the kitchen table, just some good food and good conversation.”

“Well okay, but understand this plainly and well, up front, I will not and cannot have sex with you, or for that matter any other man. Both mentally and physically I am unable to complete the act. So the sausage we are talking about will have to be of the store variety and not yours.”

“It is a date.”

Wednesday came and she followed Jim to his house. His home was a log cabin, with a loft bedroom and a large fireplace on five very secluded acres. The doctor had a wonderful meal and more kidding and joking than she had had in years, before life got so serious for her.

As the evening was winding down they were sitting in front of a roaring fire enjoying wine and herb tea. “Jim this has got to stop, there is nothing in this for you. You need someone young and moist, not old and dried up like me.”

“Oh I don’t know, I kind of like old and dried up, as long as you don’t have any sharp instruments.”

“Tell you what kiddo, you don’t make fun of my work, and I won’t make fun of you for selling plastic windows, and putting Styrofoam on peoples houses and making them look so tacky.”

“Touché.”

“A very poor choice of words after admonishing me to keep sharp instruments out of my hands.”

Then they kissed, it had been so long for her. Still no stirring in the loins.

“Jim, please don’t do that, you will get all excited, and that will be the end of it, I just cannot help you in that department.”

“Okay, then how about the arboretum on Sat., they are having a special display. Say I pick you up at 1 P.M., and no pressure.”

“I would love to, but wouldn’t you better off finding someone willing to help you get rid of this.” She reached into his crouch and squeezed an erection.

“Oh you said you would get rid of it for me.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it, you need someone to ‘haul your ashes’ and my ash hauling days are over.”

“I drive you home and see you on Saturday.”

For the next six months, the doctors life was a whirlwind of two dates a week, she fell in love with Jim, he was intelligent without being intellectual, and more inclined to act quickly and decisively, she liked this since her early training as surgeon was to cut first and ask question’s later.

It had been their regular Sunday afternoon date. They had been to the zoo. “I wonder how they keep the chimps from fucking all the time?” she asked.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well in the wild chimp’s copulate from age two on about every fifteen of twenty minutes. That is who they are, no jealousy since the males are all brothers or cousins. That is not a very good display for families with children. I just wondered how they prevented that from happening.”

“Maybe they have a vet that does what you do.”

“No, good grief, don’t you think I looked to see if the males were intact. Chimp’s would be easy to do, they have small a small penis, but extra large scrotums. They are in competition to reproduce.”

“May be you could volunteer at the zoo.”

“Never I am in enough trouble all the time now because of my methods.”

“Why is that?”

“The established method is abdominal surgery, the gonads are pulled back up and out through and large incision in the area right above the pubis. I use more of the Arabic method.”

“Which is?”

“I kind of bunch everything up and chop it off all at once. After all castration has been done that way for six thousand years. To the Arabs this was the preferred method, after the cut, they stuck the patient in a dung heap, for a day or two, if he survived he had a career as a harem keeper or servant, if not there were plenty more young boys to be done. I don’t have a dung heap, and my patients rarely feel a thing.”

“Where is the problem?”

“Cost, I only charge $2000, plus the counseling, in a hospital all totaled up it would be about $20,000, and no discounts, since the insurance companies consider this a vanity surgery. Jealousy from the psych community, in an afternoon I solve a range of problems that can probably never be dealt with through counseling or drugs for that matter. It was nightmare getting the okay for my methods, and my malpractice insurance is sky high. On the bright side my patients are happy afterwards, and none has ever complained.”

“You’re on a real crusade.”

“Well the crusade is about over.”

“You’re going to stop.”

“In away, the work load is becoming so great, that I will take on some associates.”

“That many people want this?”

“Yes, I am performing about one nullification a week. Still two males to one female, but when we first met it was about one a month. Pretty soon will have the two hundred altered males I need, and can relax a bit.”

“Is that a record sort of like 700 home runs in baseball?”

“No silly, it is a statistically significant number. I know enough about statistics to publish a long paper on this, will find a control group of two hundred unaltered males to compare various aspects of their lives and social adjustments, overall health and well being.”

“That sounds like a vary deep subject.”

“Yes, that is why I will need associates. Right now I am planning on an endocrinologist, and a psychiatrist. I will remain to do the cutting, you know end everything. With better readings on hormone levels there is less chance of my making a mistake.”

“Mistake.”

“You know, chopping someone that really doesn’t need it, with men it is not exactly reversible you know, and you can’t get an Oxford Penis, as you can with a knee or hip joint. When it is gone it is gone for good, my male patients even have to squat to pee afterwards, just like pussies.”

“You can be a bit gross at times.”

“Do you understand me when I am.”

“Yes very clearly.”

“Alright then. Most human problems are a caused by a failure to communicate.”

“Speaking of communicating I sure have enjoyed this last six months.”

”Oh Jim so have I, until you came along there was no personal life. Why you took me to the zoo today, and I found out the chimp’s aren’t fucking, that will drive me crazy until I know why.”

“Let’s make it permanent.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Marry me.”

“Jim that is wonderful of you to ask, but I can’t marry you or any man.”

“Why not, your not gay, your beautiful, still young, you need a man in your life, and I need a woman. We fit together, we get along, and you are the most even-tempered woman in the world. You are as even tempered as a saint.”

“No hormones Jim.”

“Huh.”

“I don’t have any female hormones in me, I am dried out.”

“But you said for females the process was reversible.”

“That is if the woman had a great desire. I do love you Jim, but it is Platonic love, one of conversations, warmth and companionship. There is no desire in me for the wetness of sex again, the dryness is nice, no surges, even tempered all the time, thinking clearly, this could never be reversed for me, it would be refuting all of the work I have done.”

“There has to be some way.”

“What the fuck do you mean ace? You want me to blow you is that it, you want to fuck me in the ass, is that what you are talking about. Let me tell you that is never going to happen either. Let me show you.” The doctor stripped naked. “See Jimbo, no nipples, I cut them off my self, the navel scars from where they removed my ovaries,” spreading the lips of her sex, “see no clit, and my hole is closed. You couldn’t get a pin in me with a sledgehammer. You want to marry me, I’ll marry you, but first you have to visit my room for my treatment, otherwise two weeks after we were married with you intact you’d be out humping some housewife on your job. Right here,” pinching his nipples, “I cut those off first,” unbuckling his trousers and reaching in his shorts, “then I put a latex band on these so you won’t bleed and introduce you to my girl friend, she’ll give you that blow job you want, and it well last you a lifetime. She has stainless steel teeth and forty pounds of weight, the blade travels twelve inches before it intersects with your cock and balls, it hits them with 320 lb of force per square inch and removes them cleanly in .15 seconds. Now that is a blow-job, what say Jimbo, you want to try it, I never have anyone come back for seconds or are you just full of shit.”.

“Damn you do get excited.”

“Only when I am mad, I’m leaving now and going to my office. If you don’t show up in an hour to be neutered, just like a male cat that sprays too much, I’ll know you’re a liar and one perverted son of a bitch.” She dressed and slammed out of the house.

Apparently there were still a few hormones left in her, she drove straight to her office, turned on the lights, and sat behind her desk. She had reacted badly, now she would never see Jim again, no man of his age and apparent virility would show up. Platonic love was fine, but with no pathological symptoms he would have to love her more than life itself voluntarily be neutered. It was 7 P.M., she might as well go home.

One hour, then two still she sat there. She reached into a drawer and withdrew a deep picture frame, it contained her nipples and clitoris, now tanned, had she been wrong?”

No, how could you actively encourage people to give up their sex and then keep your own.

At nine P.M. a figure stepped into the doorway. “Okay, where is the banner, where are the balloons?”

“Oh Jim, you really do love me.” The doctor rushed into his arms hugged him and kissed him.

“Quick now into the room, we will get married in the morning.”

“Will I be able to walk after that blow-job from your girl friend.”

“You will be a little bow legged, but I’ll get you to the justice of the peace all nice and tidy.”

They walked arm in arm into her operating theatre. She locked the door behind them, “There is no turning back now Jim, you’re a done deal.”

“I know.”

“Take off your clothes and sit on the table. I normally do it from the rear, but that would be to undignified for my husband to be, besides you will want to watch the blade fall.”

He undressed and sat on the edge of the table. Quickly she injected him with the paralyzing agent. “No pain killer for you Jim, until afterwards, this stuff just makes sure you don’t flinch.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, it will only hurt for a moment then I will give you an injection, that way you will accept that they are gone much quicker.”

She catheterized him and loaded a the band castrator. “I am going to band you now, this will sting a bit, you will be shrunk down to the size of the catheter instantly, but you will be unable to move.”

She snapped the band on and he let out a grunt. Next she placed a metal shield over the band, spread his leg open as far as possible and pulled a leaf out from the operating table.

“This is my friend, she will make you all nice and neat.” The doctor sat the little Guillotine between his legs.

“That is one vicious looking friend you have there.’

“But you’ll see, you will like what she does to you, you had an erection when you walked in here. That indicates that you cock and balls want to be cut off, they want to make sure my little friend removes every bit of them. We will be so happy together Jim, I do love you so, and this proves it.” His cock and balls were pulled through the jaws and the weights attached to hold them in place. “This will distract you Jim.” The doctor picked up a scalpel, grabbed first the left and then the right nipple and cut them off.

He grunted again, but did not cry out. “That did sort of get my attention.” He said after a couple of deep breaths.

“Ready Jim its time, remember I told you the wife or girl friend pulls the lanyard, that cuts the man. Well I get to pull it for you, that is my privilege, the balls the cock always belong to the women.” She kissed him and embraced him. Then whispered in his ear:

“Tell what you want Jim.”

“Do it.”

“Sorry, that isn’t good enough, tell me what to do?”

“Pull the cord.”

“What will that do Jim.”

“Release the blade.”

“More, I need more, you have to tell me what you want me to do clearly.”

“Cut me, castrate me, and cut my cock and balls off.”

“No regrets?”

“No.”

“No second thoughts?’

“Would it do me any good?”

“Jim you are the only person on the face of this planet that I would give this chance. If your are not 100% sure, I will cut the band off, and you can leave intact.”

“Then cut me.”

“Oh Jim I love you so.” She kissed him and yanked the cord.

It went as expected the blade fell and his cock and balls hit the floor.

“Jim that was so sweet, and you did cum, there is semen leaking out all over the place from the catheter, see I told you that was the best blow-job you will ever have.”

Somewhat stiff and bow legged the next day Jim and the doctor stood in front of a j.p. and were married.

Regardless of what you may have heard, Jim had more money than the doctor. Crusaders rarely make a fortune. He divested himself of a great deal of his interests and she started to withdraw from her practice to write her seminal paper, on Evaluation and Voluntary Nullification for Hormone Addicts.

They took up gardening and would make weekend trips around the country; they talked of a motor home. Jim took about two months to completely recover and suffered some withdrawal symptoms.

The doctor took on two associates to do the preliminary work, Samantha (Sam) and endocrinologist, and William a psychiatrist. Both fresh out of their residencies, and strongly motivated more by ideas than money. She couched them, taught them and brought them up to speed. She warned them against making hasty judgments, and recommendation as one done they were irreversible.

“One final note before I slip away to write my paper, Sam, William listen carefully to this: You warn the patients going through that door to my surgical suite is implied consent for nullification, I don’t want anyone having nightmares, you also, must stay out of the room, no one leaves that room intact.”

Both nodded their agreement.

The doctor was happy and content, Jim never expressed a minutes regret about her emasculation of him. He settled down and their life became a comforting routine, never too high never too low.

One day in need of some data, the doctor stopped by the office. It was a Wednesday afternoon, when no appointments are traditionally made, she let herself in with her key. ‘They must have already left for the day she thought.’ To herself, then she spotted the open door to the her surgical theatre.

She walked in to find the two of them examining the equipment, she closed the door and locked it. “Well I see you two have volunteered as subjects, Sam, William, all your clothes off now. Billy you hop up on the table, Sam you into the chair. Since you seem so close, I’ll treat you like a couple, you Billy can cut her tits off, and you Sam can emasculate him. We are going to have great fun this afternoon. After this you will respect my wishes. Oh, don’t pout kids, you know what I do in here, and now it is your turn.”

“Hello Jim, sorry honey, I’ll be a little late getting back, there are two little problems that have to be taken care of here.” She said into the cell phone.

“The problem? Sam and Billy have excessive curiosity, and I have to cure them, I’ll tell you all about it when I get home dear.” She turned the phone off. “Ready kids, you are really going to enjoy this.”