Evolution of Golf Balls (Darwin Awards text - ballwasher)

nominee

for this year’s Darwin Award (awarded to people

for incredible

feats of stupidity) goes to....Everitt Sanchez!

Based on a bet by the other members of his

threesome, Mr.

Sanchez tried to wash his own “balls” in a ball

washer at

the local golf course. Proving once again that

beer and

testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to

straddle

the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the

machine.

Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the

ante by

spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez’s

scrotum

in place, thus wedging them solidly in the

mechanism.

Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of

pain,

collapsed and tumbled from his perch.

Unfortunately for

Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more

than a

foot higher off the ground than his testicles are

in a

normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest

link.

Sanchez’s scrotum was ripped open during the fall,

and

one testicle was plucked from him forever and

remained

in the ball washer, while the other testicle was

compressed

and flattened as it was pulled between the housing

of the

washer, and the rotating machinery inside.

To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new

$300.00 driver

that he had just purchased from the pro shop, that

he was

using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to

the hospital

for surgery, and the remaining threesome were

asked to leave

the course.