IS YOUR HUSBAND REALLY IMPOTENT NOW? DOES HE ENJOY BEING THIS WAY?

I'm not sure if he's 100% "impotent" but I can say I haven't seen him with an erection in months. He never wakes up with an erection anymore. It seems that after enough time Depo Provera basically "numbs" a mans penis -- he says he has basically no sensation in his cock, and it sits about at about 1.5" outside his body. Before the Depo, his cock used to "dangle" and seemed to always be in a state of semi-erection. I've noticed it getting smaller and smaller, and his testicles now are about 1/2 of what they were, about the size of small to medium grapes. He says his testicles also feel "numb" and lifeless, they no longer ache like they used to occasionally.

About two months ago my husband says he stopped even trying to masturbate -- he isn't motivated to anymore. He says the last time he tried, he cock stayed soft no matter what he fantasize about of how hard to tried to "wake it up". He said after about 20 minutes he simply gave up. So yes, I would say that my husband is now impotent, his genitals no longer have any "life of their own" and he never initiates sex. He says he never thinks about sex either, that the world is a completely different place to him now.

As far as "enjoying" being chemically castrated and impotent, I'm not sure that's the right word. I'm not sure he's any happier because of it, but I do know that he feels calmer. I have observed his calmness in many situations like traffic or being late to work -- he used to curse and yell during those times, now he is very calm and focused.

OTHER THAN SEX, HOW HAS CHEMICAL CASTRATION CHANGED YOUR HUSBAND?

As I stated, for him the entire world seems different. He says he no longer sees people as opportunities to "fuck or fight" -- he can simply relate to them as fellow humans.

Bedtime and waking up time are MUCH different, there's no tension anymore. I'm so much happier to be around him and snuggle with him. He has seemed to have lost his interest in fictional novels, he used to read alot of spy novels and such. Lately he has been reading much more history and non-fiction. I think Depo Provera qualms the "sexual imagination" and that a chemical eunuch doesn't seek to constantly live in a state of "exciting fantasy".

He has put on a little weight, but it's not that noticeable. He says he shaves less. I've also noticed his skin seems much clearer now, and overall he is less "greasy" the way males can be. He definitely has less body odor.

HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO CONTINUE WITH THIS? IS THIS YOUR DECISION OR YOUR HUSBANDS?

I take responsibility for initiated my husbands chemical castration. I found that our doctor would assist us, and talked my husband into getting his first two shots. I know that during the month that he really started to get impotent and lose his "manhood" he seemed to have alot of anxiety and make alot of jokes about how the "equipment seemed to be failing" and wondering how "the boys" (his co-workers) would react if they knew what was happening to him. And I know he TRIED to have sex with me several times after his third and fourth shots of Depo, and I remember his penis being really soft and lifeless seeming. I know he was in a sense "humiliated" by this and it was the last time he attempted to "mount" me as things went really quick after that in terms of his testosterone levels plummeting and his impotence increasing.

I think he knows how much happier I am with the way things are now. And our doctor has been so supportive and understanding. Between the both of us we have maintained "positive pressure" on my husband to continue down this path. And it seems with each shot he gets, it just keeps everything more and more "shut down" and I think the more time passes the more this will become his "new identity." I am secretly afraid he will want to stop taking the shots and return to having a sex drive like before.

WOULD YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND EVER CONSIDER SURGICAL CASTRATION?

At our last appointment, the topic was brought up. Our doctor mentioned the possibility of surgical castration, and how this might be easier in the long term than chemical castration. I would LOVE to see my husband take this step, as I think it would be easier on his body and would be something that he can't go back on. He seems open to the idea but has concerns about pain and recovery time. We both understand now that it's a fairly minor procedure. I do think that between me and our doctor we can bring my husband around to surgical castration in a matter of time. I know he's getting more adjusted to being a chemical eunuch as each month passes, so I'm sure in time surgical castration will hardly seem a "sacrifice" to him at all, merely a procedure like getting a tooth pulled.