This Little Piggy Stayed Home

There is pain, and then there is pain.  I am out of the old fashioned be cool at any price school, but the pain that woke me up went beyond my ability to ‘be cool’.  The only comparable pain that has ever occurred to me was getting blackjacked by a Mexican bartender when I was a young hotshot.  But this pain was in my groin not in my head. I wanted to curl up into a fetal position and hug myself.  Even with the pain it took me a minute or so to get my eyes open. Due to a violent argument with my wife the evening before had taken both a tranquilizer and sleeping pill, and my eyes seemed to not want to open.  Tried to sit up but found I was bound hand and foot. Finally getting my eyes open saw what the problem was.  My sweats were around my knees; my hands and feet duct taped to the bedposts and a castrating band was on my scrotum. Looking up my wife was standing by the bed with a band castrator I had bought for her sister about five years ago. “I suppose this is about the argument last night isn’t it.”

“Yes, this is what my sister did to Daniel to clam him down, I figured with your reaction to yesterday this would keep you nice and calm.”

“I don’t suppose you would grant me that coming home and finding my wife being fucked by her late sisters pet pig is reason for me to be upset.”

“Oh Fred you just don’t understand.  I feel a special kinship with Mr. Piggy, he was my sisters favorite pet.”

“Right, now how about getting that little rubber donut off my scrotum and we can get you the kind of help you need.”

“No, this is what Kay did to her husband when he got so strange, it worked on him, and it will work on you, now just be still for about an hour and I will take care of all your problems.”

It had started about five years ago when my sister in laws husband had a stroke. He was in the hospital for three months, then in rehab for two months.  He came out but he was different.  Basically he recognized my wife; he recognized me but not his own wife.  He took it at face value that Kay was his wife. Somewhere along in there they decided to buy a pet pig.  To say this put me off is an understatement, having been raised on a farm, pigs are dinner, not pets.  Besides they kept the animal in the house, which was further reason to be disgusted.  Kay and my wife became fascinated with the animal.  Now in case you are thinking of one of these cuddly little pot bellied pigs; that is what he was supposed to be, but he grew and rapidly into a two hundred pound boar.  Luckily they had enough money to get his tusks pulled, but couldn’t afford to get him castrated.  During a discussion over this I allowed as how this was a potentially dangerous animal and would make a better pet with his balls removed.  Still they had no money.  That is when I suggested that they do it themselves and offered to go to the farm store and get them a tool.  This was agreed on and I purchased them a nice band castrator, and instructions.

Then Kay got cancer, one thing and another Daniel started getting violent, but only for a short period of time.  He calmed down and started getting very fat.  The cancer Kay had was aggressive and in spite of all efforts at surgery, chemo and radiation she died eighteen months after being diagnosed. Daniel went to a home for the mentally infirm, luckily we didn’t inherit him.  We got the pig, that was three months ago.  I was shocked to see the pig was still intact and inquired where the castrating tool was.  No one, my wife, Daniel’s family seemed to know.  I was all for turning Mr. Piggy into bacon and Italian Sausage, but my wife would have none of it.  Then yesterday I came home unexpectedly to get a pair of glasses, and found the porker porking my wife.  A violent argument ensued wherein my demand was for her to seek lots of mental help and in a hurry.

So that brings us up to this morning.  Now I am hog tied to the bed, my balls are dying and my wife has just returned with my favorite chef’s knife.

“Fred, you have got to understand, it was the only sex my sister had in her last few months, and it is wonderful.  She told me all about it, how she read up on animal sex, no involvement, no demands, plus Daniel was getting so violent.  She castrated him not Mr Piggy with the tool you bought and Daniel calmed right down.  So I do it out of respect for my sister.  Plus it is so great, Mr. Piggy has this real long penis, it gets way up inside me and starts to cum immediately.  I can feel it in my womb it is so much better than yours.  Now be still and let me finish you.”

With that she reached between my legs and removed my balls, castrating me.  She gave me a couple of tranquilizers and that helped with the pain.  For the balance of the day I lay there a dull throbbing pain in my groin, entertained by the noises of the pig and my wife grunting in the next bedroom.

It was a couple of days before I could walk.  Since am self employed no one missed me at work.  By Tuesday was able to get around and drive.  Immediately went to my doctor’s office and from there called the police.

It is now six months since the castration.  My wife, and apparently her sister had been on selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors for depression and other personality disorders.  Apparently there are some long-term side effects to these medications, so I am suing the drug maker.  Got a really nasty attorney to take it on spec.  My wife is in the state institution for the criminally insane.  When they detoxed her from the prescription she went round the bend and it does not look like she will be back.

As to myself, the doctor neatened up, the stub for me.  I had him do an implant of body fat to enlarge and lengthen my penis and leave it in a semi erect state all of the time.  I started on testosterone replacement with anabolic steroids.  All of this has dropped about twenty pounds and as many years off my age. Now everyone needs a hobby so now I specialize in 26 to 35 year old women.  They are the juiciest, with my new equipment and a little other chemical help I can keep them screaming for hours on end, the lack of balls assures them they will have no little surprises toddling around.

Of course the mistake my wife made was equating me, with my brother in law, had she been able to affect a lobotomy that probably would have done the trick.  Estrogen is just as dangerous in the long run as testosterone. Well gang, have to go, the pork barbecue in the smoker should be about done.  Mr. Piggy was a little old for anything other than sausage and barbecue, but he shuffled off this mortal coil without his balls.