The Johnson

“I am sorry to say Mrs. Johnson that there is some very bad results from you test, the ultra sound, and other test indicate at totally hysterectomy is in order.” Explained the Ob/Gyn. Dr. Bottom, to the woman sitting in front of him.

“I have been preparing myself for the worst, at least it isn’t cancer.” Said Mrs. Johnson a matronly woman of fifty years as she sat in the doctor’s office. “When can if be done?”

“These operations are usually schedules for Thursday A.M., so ten days would be about right, does that fit your schedule?”

“Yes, I will make all of the arrangements for that day.”

“Now you know under the new hospital policy your husband will have to be present also, there is a little procedure we perform on him while he is waiting, it will make it easier for him to become accustom to the changes in you. Do you plan to wish to start on hormone therapy after your operation.”

“No, I have been on them for years, it is time to stop this non-sense of trying to be a twenty-five year old sex kitten, and let nature take its course. But what procedure do you perform on my husband.”

“It is our policy now that when a married woman has a complete hysterectomy that the husband must be concomitantly castrated, thus he shares your pain. Now in your case since you are not going on hormones, it will be a total emasculation for the old boy. He will be much more sympathetic, he will have the male equivalent of menopause, and will stay very close to the nest. This will remove not only the desire but the capability of sex for him, so his lack of interest will match yours.”

“I believe I understand but want to be sure. You are planning on removing my womb, my ovaries, and everything else, and since I will be sort of sexless, you are going to make my husband that way also, is that about it?”

“Yes, in a nut shell, poor choice of words. Since you are declining hormone therapy, he will have both his gonads and his penis removed.”

“Why what an intelligent policy, I won’t have to worry about being dumped at my age, while my husband runs off with some haft wit young thing.”

“Yes, it is called equal treatment rule.”

“Well next Thursday will be fine, and I will bring my husband.”

“I will set it all up then.” Picking up the intercom. “Nurse schedule Mrs. Johnson’s procedure for a week from Thursday and her husband also.”

“Yes that’s right Mr Johnson will loose his Johnson.”