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The Dollmaker, Part 4 Janice moved a large, overstuffed wingback chair into Justin’s room, close to the hospital bed and stayed by his side as he slept. She wanted to be available when he woke. Janice wasn’t sure how the young man would behave once he woke – but she planned to be there for him to offer him support, or to take any abuse he might hurl her way. Ben watched television on the other side of the room or studied in between checking the patient’s blood pressure, pulse, and respiration. He assured Janice that everything was well within normal expectations and that the sedative often made some people sleep through the day. Ben kept an IV drip running and periodically checked the outflow bag attached to the catheter. The urine flow looked good – no signs of blood or cloudiness that could mean infection. Justin slept through the rest of the day – his sleep undisturbed by dreams. From time to time, Janice would wipe her new toy’s face with a damp cloth. He looked even more innocent and vulnerable in his drugged sleep than he usually did – his long, soft lashes against his cheek. Using the palm of her hand, Janice smoothed down the short fringe of bangs across his forehead. He’d probably need to have his hair bleached and trimmed again before returning to the university after Spring Break. The sun had been down for hours when Janice finally tucked her legs under her and curled up in the wingback chair. In the hours just before dawn, Justin finally stirred. He wasn’t quite awake, but in that surreal state between wakefulness and dreams. His mind was finally free of most of the effects of the sedation and beginning to recall recent events. Justin opened his eyes, at first he thought the images in his head had been a part of a nightmare – he remembered Janice telling him the doctor was going to cut off his genitals. He remembered tears as he first begged that the surgery not be done, and the tears as he agreed to let it continue. He could vaguely remember feeling needles entering his groin and a growing numbness – but everything after that was so hazy that he couldn’t clearly remember anything. As Justin became aware of his surroundings, he dismissed those thoughts as a dream. About that time, he became aware of several things – there was a strange pressure in his left arm, not a pain exactly, but more like an ache. Both his ears hurt and they felt like they were covered over in warm ear muffs. Finally, there was the dull, throbbing ache in his groin. His legs were spread wide, and it felt like he was wearing a diaper – but that couldn’t be right because he could feel the sheet under him against his bare backside. But, the front of his groin seemed to be covered in a diaper – but nobody made half diapers. He knew what he would find even before he slipped his right hand under the covers, letting his thin fingers explore his lower belly. His fingertips tenderly explored the mass of thick bandages taped over his groin. He could also feel a plastic tube deep between his legs, snaking over his left thigh. Justin leaned his head back and bit his lip to keep from making a sound. A part of his mind told him he should be screaming, ranting, and making a scene. But, the thing making Justin bite his lip was the fact that another part of his mind said it really didn’t matter – he was better off the way he was now. That was the thing that had him biting his lip until it hurt. He supposed anyone’s normal reaction would be some kind of hysteria – but he really didn’t feel that way. The truth was that he had never used his penis for sexual activity – he was still a virgin, unless you counted masturbation and he didn’t think that really counted. Well, maybe he supposed it did count for some super Conservative types, but he certainly hadn’t been raised to think like that. Justin realized he didn’t miss his genitals. He was concerned about the humiliation he would suffer if others – mostly guys – found out about him being a eunuch. But, he didn’t think Janice would put him in a situation where that would be a problem. Sure, she had made him stand naked in front of people – but those were all carefully chosen people who shared her interests. No, if anyone found out about him, it would be because of a mistake on his part. Then he thought about not being able to masturbate anymore. Sure, he did it, but the truth was he didn’t do it nearly as often as other guys – at lest he thought that he didn’t based on the locker room talk he’d heard as other guys bragged about doing it. In fact, he knew he could go nearly a month before feeling the urge to wank off. And even then, the few moments of pleasure it brought him were overshadowed by the feelings he had of it being – not dirty, exactly – just messy. He realized he’d never be able to have sex now and thought about how that made him feel. Well, he had never had sex and couldn’t figure out how he could miss something he’d never had. He thought about Janice. It was true that he was attracted to her the first time he’d seen her. It was impossible not to be attracted to her – with her long, thick auburn hair, deep blue eyes, and figure – she radiated sensuality. In the six months or so he’d worked in her shop, Justin had fallen more and more in love with her. He wanted her approval and affection – and she’d always shown an interest in him. He realized the other day that he really had meant it when he said he would do anything for her after she found those digital pictures he had taken of himself wearing the collars. Maybe he had unconsciously wanted her to find those pictures – maybe that’s why he didn’t erase them from the disc or just leave the disc in his dorm room. Justin thought back to the night he had taken those pictures – the thrill he had felt in his belly as he slipped the first collar on, pretending it was Janice’s fingers wrapping the leather band around his neck and buckling it. He knew at that moment that he wanted to belong – really belong to Janice. The funny thing was that even then Justin didn’t imagine having sex with her – Justin just realized that as he lay there in the bed. He had imagined being held, caressed, and kissed by her. He had imagined how wonderful it would be to have her arms wrapped around him, pulling him close to her – but not once did the thought of him having sex cross his mind. Justin felt his eyes getting heavy again, and he was having trouble keeping them open. They sagged closed and he slept again. This time he dreamed. Justin dreamed of being in Dr. Mark’s office. But, the dreams distorted the truth – this time there were no tears. He proudly stripped his clothing off revealing his smooth body, his penis and testicles flopping and looking silly as he walked across the room. There was a large silk bow tied around his genitals – he wanted Janice to know they were his present to her. Justin jumped up on the table and fitted his legs into the stirrups, smiling proudly over at Janice. In his dream, Justin refused the sedative – although he did accept the local anesthesia and asked for the head of the table to be raised. He looked around the room, giving everyone a wink and broad smile before announcing loudly that he was ready for the cutting to begin. He watched with interest as Dr. Mark lifted a large meat cleaver, raising it high above his head before bringing it down with a meaty thunk. Of course, in the dream there was no blood, no pain – he hadn’t needed the local after all. Dr. Mark closed the would with a couple of stitches and the incision healed almost as soon as the stitches were in. Justin stood on the table, proudly showing his new smooth groin to everyone in the room – strutting up and down the table like a model on the catwalk. Janice woke when Ben came into the room to check on Justin’s vital signs. The early morning sun was just beginning to brighten the room. Looking down at his elfin features, Janice was surprised to find the corners of Justin’s mouth curled up slightly. She wondered what he was dreaming to cause that little Mona Lisa smile. Carol tiptoed into the room, carrying a tray with steaming mugs of coffee. The three of them had just finished their coffee when Justin stirred and opened his eyes. Seeing Janice, he smiled. “How’s the boy?” Janice asked. “Okay.” Justin croaked, his voice raspy. “Sore in a couple of places.” “Want something for the pain?” Janice asked, glancing over at Ben. “No.” Justin shook his head. “I don’t want to go back to sleep just yet.” “Take just a sip of this.” Janice offered, pouring a glass of water from the carafe on the table near the bed. Justin tried to gulp the water, and Janice had to pull the glass away twice as she reminded him to take small sips only. She didn’t want him coughing, which could cause stress on the incisions. “It’s hard to hear with these bandages covering my ears.” Justin complained, reaching up and touching the bandages. Ben assured him that the heavy bandages would come off soon, and Justin nodded thankfully. The only other complaint that come from the young man was when Janice brought him a tray of breakfast – Justin hadn’t eaten on over a day and a half and claimed to be ravenous. Mark had insisted on bland foods for the first meal or two to make sure the young man’s stomach didn’t become upset. Violent spasms from vomiting could pull the incision open, requiring another trip to the office and possible complications. Accordingly, Janice had fixed small portions of hot oatmeal and a soft boiled egg. Justin complained and pouted a little – claiming he didn’t like either oatmeal or soft boiled eggs. His complaints fell on deaf ears as Janice spoon fed him, insisting he eat every bite on the tray. Although Janice was paying Ben and Anita to act as private nurses, they found little to do other than change his dressings and offer pain killers. Even Carol found little chance to help out – Janice insisted on being the one to give her little toy sponge baths and caring for most of his needs. Janice wanted to be around to give Justin a chance to talk over his surgery if and when he was ready. She didn’t feel any pangs of regret for the decision she made, but she did want to be able to give him any explanations he might want. As far as she was concerned, being nullified was the best thing for Justin – he would retain the boyish qualities that made him so appealing, especially those elfin qualities that had attracted her in the first place. Even though he was eighteen, Justin looked much younger – he could easily pass as fifteen or so, and Janice wanted to preserve that innocent look. Brian and Mark stopped in for visits during the day. Mark, who wanted to check the incisions, was satisfied when he saw no unusual signs of redness or inflammation. He was surprised to find his young patient less subdued than he expected. Justin wasn’t exactly cheerful, but there was no sign of the tears from the day before, either. Justin mentioned that sitting up caused some pain, and Mark explained that was natural and would pass in a day or so. He also vetoed Justin’s request to be allowed out of bed for another day at least, telling the college boy to use a bed pan if necessary and pointing out that the catheter was draining his bladder nicely, so he could just stay in bed and relax. He did agree to bandage only the upper part of Justin’s ears after he had checked his work there. Mark was impressed – there wasn’t as much swelling as he had expected. He was pleased with his work – the change in the shape of Justin’s ears was subtle enough to pass as natural, if a bit unusual. Mark knew Janice wanted additional surgery on those ears once Justin finished his studies at the university. When Brian arrived, Justin surprised everyone by asking if he and the piercer could be left alone for a while. That request was confusing enough to Brian, but Justin’s next request was even more confusing. He shyly asked if Brian would mind stripping naked. Brian didn’t have any problem with that – he liked being naked in front of other guys and was never shy about showing off his gym toned body. He quickly stripped and stood by the side of the bed as Justin looked him over intently. “You’re bigger than I am – or was.” Justin said. He had been staring with interest at Brian’s seven and al half inch cock and the large balls that hung loosely behind it. “Hey – you had a pretty good package for someone your size.” Brian said. He was a little uncomfortable with the direction the conversation might go. He didn’t know if Justin was having regrets that might make him flip out or something. “I’m about a foot taller than you are and outweigh you by at least seventy or more pounds.” “You think so?” Justin asked. “I mean about me having a nice package down there?” Before Brian could answer, Justin asked him to sit down, then get up and walk across the room and back again. The requests didn’t make much sense to Brian, and he was starting to worry about the little guy. When Brian was standing next to the bed again, he stared down at the curling mass of pubic hair covering Brian’s crotch. “You have brown hair.” Justin seemed surprised – then Brian realized the young man had never seen his natural hair color or seen him naked before. “I like your hair bleached better.” “Thanks – you look pretty good bleached, too.” Brian said. “Are you really going to do it?” Justin asked. “Do what?” Brian was unnerved by the question. “Shave yourself smooth.” Justin replied. “You said that yesterday when you saw me all smooth. You said you liked the way it looks.” “Oh – that.” Brian said, relieved. “You know, I might at that – you do look good smooth.” Brian sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on Justin’s chest. “Listen, are you okay?” “Yeah – why?” Justin asked. “Well, I gotta tell you – I’m a bit worried about you dude.” Brian admitted. “You okay with … well, you know.” “Castrated?” Justin marveled at himself, it was the first time he had said the word aloud. “Oh yeah, I just needed to see something for myself to make sure.” He grinned at Brian, the impish glint back in his eyes. “I’m okay, I promise. Thanks, though, for being concerned.” “Well – what was all this about, then?” Brian asked in confusion. “I’d rather not say.” Suddenly, Justin’s shyness had returned – his face flushing a bright crimson. “Come on, spill it, dude.” Brian insisted, curious about Justin’s reaction. “Something’s up and you better tell me.” “Well, I don’t want to you take this the wrong way.” Justin explained, searching for the right words. "See, I woke up early this morning – when it was still dark and everyone was asleep – and, um – well, I did a lot of thinking and well, I got to thinking about how I looked when I was naked before the operation.” “Okay, that makes sense.” Brian agreed. “What did you come up with?” “Well – I think you’re right about me looking better smooth. It just looks cleaner and nicer without any body hair.” “Okay – that makes sense.” Brian said. “And – well, there’s this other thing I realized.” Justin looked down, embarrassed. “Don’t get me wrong or anything – I think you have a great body, okay?” Brian nodded, unsure of where this was going. “But, it looks pretty silly – I mean, even though I was a lot smaller than you – well, haven’t you ever noticed how a dick flops around when a guy moves? Even when you turned to walk across the room, your dick swung to the side and then bounced around as you walked.” Justin glanced up sheepishly. “Oh come on!” Brian protested. “It doesn’t flop around and look silly.” “Sure it does.” Justin said, grinning in spite of himself. “Haven’t you ever paid any attention to how it looks?” Brian stared down at his seven and a half inches, laying against his thigh. He stood up and turned around a couple of times, watching his cock swing from side to side. “It doesn’t look that silly.” Brain said, returning the eunuch’s smile. “I mean in general.” Justin said, his grin growing wider. “Oh yeah?” Brian started grabbing his clothes and climbing into them. “Well, maybe you need more experience – your sample might have been too small.” “I wouldn’t call you small.” Justin shot back. Brian wagged his finger warningly at the young man and stepped out into the hall. He returned a few moments later with Ben and asked him to strip and pose for them while he was naked. Ben looked confused but, at Brian’s urging, stripped down and stood before them. He was slightly bigger than Brian, almost eight inches and neatly circumcised. Like Brian, his equipment hung low. Brian sat on the bed again, his arm around Justin. The young man asked Ben to walk back and forth across the room. The med student didn’t know what was going on, but did as Justin asked walking back and forth a couple of times. Ben’s confusion grew as first Justin, and then, Brian started grinning and then giggling. “I told you so!” Justin said, his giggles growing into laughter. Brian couldn’t help himself – Justin was right. It did look kind of silly to watch a cock bob up and down, and swing back and forth. By that point, Justin was laughing so hard tears were rolling down his face. In between peals of laughter, Justin grimaced from stabs of pain in his lower abdomen. Ben rushing over to the bed to make sure the young man was alright, his large package flopping up and down wildly, only made matters worse. Brian laughed so hard he fell off the bed, making Justin laugh even harder, which increased the pain so much that he actually cried out a couple of times. It took a while, but Ben finally got the other two calmed down enough to explain what was going on. The explanation threatened to send all three of them into another fit of laughter – which was the last thing Ben wanted for his young patient. Ben shook his head in wonder – this was the second nullification he assisted on, and after about a dozen castrations of testicles only, he thought he’d seen all possible reactions. The guy who had the other nullification had claimed it wanted it for years and had been searching for a doctor who would make his wish come true. That guy had practically leaped onto the table, he was so eager to get it done. Then, after the procedure, he asked if it was possible to undo the surgery – maybe had had been too hasty. That was just a phase, and it passed quickly enough – but he hadn’t been almost convulsing with laughter, either. Ben was pretty sure this young man was going to embrace his changes. When Janice finally entered the room, she found Brian and Justin watching reruns of old sitcoms. Like Ben, they both refused to enlighten her about what had happened in the room earlier. She did find the sparkle back in Justin’s eyes, and his infectious elfin grin back in place. Justin’s small hand slipped into hers while she sat on the edge of the bed, his fingers entwining with hers. Looking down at him, Janice wondered if Sebastian could bleach those slightly arched eyebrows to white. After a while, she announced she was going to bring her elf boy some lunch. She expected some more pouting when she refused his request for a cheeseburger rather than a bowl of broth and some pudding. As she started to stand, Justin pulled her back down and leaned up to her, his pink lips close to her ear. “Thank you.” He whispered. To be continued in Part 5 -- Justin begins his new life
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