Lifetime Sacrifice

didn't think of herself as a "mistress" but rather as

a woman with a high sex drive and an interest in

non-vanilla activities. Many activities fascinated

her, but the one that really drove her wild was that a

man would willingly let a woman torture him. Not only

that, but there seemed to be men who would let a woman

remove their balls. The thought excited her, but she

always believed it was nothing more than a fantasy.

After several months of talking about this fantasy,

Mistress sent email asking if I'd be willing to turn

fantasy into reality. It took me a couple of days of

thinking about this before I could respond. I hadn't

actually met Mistress yet, she was just an electronic

fantasy. What if we met and I realized she wasn't

someone I could give myself to? I hadn't actually

ever been tortured, what if I backed out as soon as

the reality started? I decided to give her a wimpy

answer: Let's meet and talk about this. Mistress

agreed, and we made plans to meet at a public place in

her city.

I arrived at the appointed time and waited for

Mistress. When she arrived I was extremely pleased:

Mistress was as she had described herself, and as I

had pictured from all our interactions. This honesty

immediately added a level of trust that we couldn't

have developed on-line. We ended up talking for

several hours, afterwhich we had planned to go our own

ways and take some time to think the situation over.

However, I was sold and offered to begin our new

relationship as soon as it pleased Mistress. It

turned out she was also convinced and invited me to

her place to finalize the arrangement.

The arrangements were quite simple really. Mistress

was quite clear that my relationship with her was

completely contingent on a willingness to serve her

orally at any time and in any way she specified. This

would continue after my castration. If at any time I

lost interest, I would be shown the door. I would be

denied sexual release except for three occasions.

Mistress would allow me to masturbate before the first

time she tortured me. She would cause me to come as

part of the actual castration. And, she would allow

me to have intercourse with her AFTER I was castrated,

if I could. The castration itself would be no sooner

than 6 months after we started, and Mistress could

prolong it for as long as she desired. Until the

castration my primary purpose would be to serve as an

object of torture, and otherwise service Mistress in

any way she desired.

Having signed the agreement, Mistress and I spent a

few hours looking through catalogs and placing orders

for various "devices". We ordered many kinds of

torture devices, particularly to be used on my cock,

balls, and nipples. We ordered medical equipment.

And, most terrifingly, we ordered several animal

castration devices from a farm catalog.

Ordering all that equipment left Mistress and I both

extremely horny, and Mistress decided it was time to

get started. She had me strip and start to

masturbate, as promised in our agreement. I knew this

would be my last orgasm until castration, so I savored

it. When I was about to come, Mistress made me stop.

After giving me a moment to calm down she had me eat

her. I love to perform oral sex anyway, but now I was

so horny that I felt like superman. I would have

spent days eating her nonstop. After Mistress had

orgasmed, she had me start masturbating again. Again

she stopped me and had me eat her. This went on a few

times. As I got close to orgasm the last time,

Mistress started to caress my balls. Within seconds I

started to come, and at the first sign of release

Mistress closed her hand around my sack and squeezed.

Hard. For an instant this enhanced my orgasm, but

quickly the pain surged through my body. Mistress did

not let go, she squeezed harder. I soon fell to the

floor and blacked out from the pain, and only then did

Mistress release my balls. When I regained my senses,

Mistress had me eat her to orgasm one more time.

Then, thankfully, we rested.

The next day Mistress told me to spend a few hours

towards getting my affairs in order and I started

making arrangements to move to her city. Later I

would actually be required to live with her, but she

wasn't ready for that yet. That evening I went to

Mistress' for another taste of the next 6 months.

None of the toys we had ordered had arrived yet, but

Mistress was prepared. She had me remove my clothes

and then tied me to a chair. She then leaned the

chair back against a couch so that my crotch was

sticking up in the air. She left the room and

returned with a tray. I could smell rubbing alcohol,

but I couldn't see in the tray. Mistress took some

cotton, dipped it in the tray, and swabbed my cock and

balls with it. It burned like hell. When Mistress

heard me yell out in pain, she decided to make another

pass with the alcohol. I thought that this was going

to make for a painful evening, but that was just an

appetizer.

Mistress finally brought the tray closer, and I saw it

was full of pins and needles. She put a nipple to my

lips, which I gently licked and then sucked, while she

whispered in my ear the words "pin cushion". These

were to become two of the most dreaded words of my

existence. Mistress allowed me to suck one nipple for

a couple of minutes, then the other. This was to be

my one pleasure for the months of torture...that

Mistress thoroughly enjoyed and expected me to provide

all kinds of oral pleasure to her. Then she took a

pin from the tray and pushed it into my sack. I'd

never been through anything like this, and the terror

far outweighed the pain. But only for the first

couple of pins.

Mistress, it turns out, was initially being careful to

keep the pins away from my balls. Now she took a

long needle and carefully pushed it through the

scrotum and right into my left ball. I let out a howl

as the mental picture of that needle entering my ball

formed. Mistress quickly stuffed a pillow over my face

to muffle it. She then went and got a device that she

put in my mouth that she could use to control my

screams. I would later learn the value of the device

for holding a gag, but initially her use was far more

kind. The device kept me from closing my teeth, but

had a hole into which could be inserted a gag, or a

nipple. Mistress could torture me, while keeping a

nipple in the hole for me to tongue. That would also

muffle my cries.

Mistress took another long needle and pushed it into

my right ball. Again I started to scream, and

mistress responded by pressing her nipple into my gag

hole and her breast down around my nose and mouth. My

screams of pain would now result in smothering.

Terror once again took over, and I knew I was in over

my head. I wanted out, and then I blacked out from

lack of oxygen.

I awoke a few moments later to discover that Mistress

had quickly removed the pins and needles from my

scrotum. What brought me around was the serious

burning from the alocohol she used to clean me up

afterwards. Mistress then released me and ordered me

to eat her, which I did glady and for a long time.

When she was satisfied, she asked if I wanted to end

our agreement.

I was shocked at Mistress'question, and immediately

knew the answer was no. I asked her if she was

getting what she wanted from me, and she made it clear

that she was getting much more. I told her that

despite my occasional body language indicating I

wasn't happy about the situation, I was getting

exactly what I needed and wished to continue.

Mistress was clearly pleased, and sent me away for the

night.

Over the next several months I was subjected to many

different types of torture. Mistress wanted to learn

the art of ball stretching, and my balls became her

samples. She wanted to try electro-torture, and my

cock and balls were perfect. She repeatedly used my

balls as pin cushions. One of the most cruel evenings

is when she attached wires to needles in my balls and

combined electro-torture with pin cushion. Eventually

she discovered the joy of torturing my nipples, and we

spent a month with these as the main object of her

abuse. There were faux castrations, which reminded me

of what was ahead. And then there was the vise...the

most vicious device used by Mistress, and one that I

had invented for her. These and many other tortures

are something I need to leave for future mail.

At the end of the 6 month "waiting period" on my

castration, Mistress brought out a bowl filled with

small pieces of paper. There were 500 of them

actually, and Mistress explained that only 10 of the

500 contained anything useful. Those ten each

contained a description of a method of castration.

Each evening before we began Mistress would pull a

piece of paper out of the bowl. If she got one with a

castration described on it, that was my night. I

might go months with just the normal amount of

torture, I might lose my balls that very night.

Mistress told me of some of the castration techniques

in the bowl. There were two banding techniques. One,

was the same as our faux banding game except the band

would not be removed. This allowed Mistress to keep

me guessing every time she banded me about if this

were "the time". With the band on for too long, my

balls would die from lack of oxygen. There was also a

paper for the tighter band, obvious designed to kill

the balls with little opportunity to back out. There

were two ingenious papers, each which just resulted in

one of my balls being destroyed by means of a

burdizzo. This would allow Mistress to effectively

castrate me twice. Mistress wouldn't describe the

other techniques she had included, but I could imagine

them. She had probably taken one from a news story I

knew she enjoyed, where a woman had used kevlar

fishing line to sever a man's balls. And another

where she removed the balls from the sack, and

tortured them while they were still attached to my

body, before finally cutting (or pulling) them free.

But the one I feared the most was over a discussion we

had months earlier. It was a modification to my vise

design that would slowly and totally crush the balls

before severing them from the body. Even though I

knew that would bring incredible pleasure to Mistress,

I thought I would rather die then go through it.

Three months had gone by and I still had my balls.

Mistress had made the tortures more severe, and had

masturbated me almost to orgasm several times, as she

made me think the end was near. Each time would make

her incredibly horny, and I'd spend hours satisfying

her orally. She also increased the smotherings, once

offering to save me from the pain of castration by

accidently taking my life. I thought about the vise,

and considered her offer, but I knew that wasn't what

either of us wanted.

One day Mistress began her tortures by concentrating

on my nipples, and then smothering me until I nearly

blacked out. I came to my senses to feel her tugging

at my balls, and finally was able to focus on the

burdizzo in her hand. She found the cord for the

right ball and crushed it with the burdizzo. The pain

was far less than the tortures I'd endured, but the

mental anguish was extreme. The castration had begun.

Mistress could not contain her excitement. She made

me eat her repeatedly. She smothered me again. She

made me tongue her ass while she masturbated. And she

reminded me that when the other ball went I would get

to come, and then she'd see how long enough hormones

stayed in my body for us to fuck. Losing my balls was

going to be incredible.

Another month went by with Mistress torturing me, but

not finishing the castration. Her tortures got even

more severe, and so did her desire for me to worship

her body and provide oral satisfaction. She was also

"going soft" on me, making sure I knew how much she

was enjoying herself and that she was the luckiest

woman in the world. This gave me incredible pleasure,

and I started to look forward to the final

destruction.

THE day started like any other. Mistress was

torturing me, making me eat her, and smothering me. I

was in heaven. After once again smothering me to near

blackout with her breast, I saw she was holding a

strange device. Within moments a very tight band was

around my sack. This wasn't the band from our faux

castration game, this was designed to stay on until my

sack came off. The moment of truth had arrived. This

was actually about the most "humane" form of

castration, and I had to believe that Mistress was

dissapointed.

Mistress started to masturbate me, and rather than

seem dissapointed she was extremely excited. She got

me close to release, then stopped and lead me into the

adjoining room. There was the vise, moified as I had

described to her. Originally it had been intended to

partially crush the balls. Not enough to do damage,

just enough to cause great pain. Now it was designed

to skewer them, electrocute them, crush them into

oblivion, and cut the sack off below the band I was

wearing. Mistress kissed me, and told me that her

dream choice had been on that day's paper.

Mistress asked me to show that I wanted to proceed. I

went over to the vise, strapped down my legs, and

lowered my balls into position. I then begged

Mistress to proceed. She strapped my arms to ropes

hanging from the ceiling, and began to close the vice

on my balls. Pins on the face of the vise started to

pierce my sack. This hurt, but it was really nothing

new. As she closed the vise they pierced my remaining

ball. Several of them. Although I'd experienced this

before, the pain seemed more intense this time.

Mistress stopped to point out the obvious, that with

the pins in place any struggling would increase the

pain and damage. She began to whip me. As I moved to

avoid the last the pins would tear at my remaining

good ball and I would howl in pain. Finally Mistress

closed the vise so that my balls were starting to

crush.

Mistress stopped the vise and let me suck on her

nipples. She kissed me, and played with my cock. As

I approached orgasm she closed the vise a little more.

I was shocked as she placed her knees on the table

holding the vise and slipped my cock in her pussy.

After all these months! It felt glorious. Mistress

made it very clear that she was going to fuck me, a

little, but that if I came in her while my balls were

attached she would then throw me out on the street.

If I controlled myself, I would live with her forever

as her eunuch. She then proceeded to fuck me, making

sure the pins tore at my balls with every thrust.

After a minute of torturous thrusting, in which I came

really close to coming and ruining everything,

Mistress dismounted. She picked up a little control I

hadn't noticed sitting my the table and pressed a

button. Burning pain went through my remaining ball,

and I shot come across the floor. Mistress was frying

my ball, and had given me my promised orgasm.

Mistress shut off the electricity, kissed me, and

started cranking the vise closed. I was numb, in

shock really. I knew I was in pain, but it seemed to

almost be happening to someone else. The vise closed

in on my ball, crushing it. Soon my sack split open,

and the remains of my balls started to ooze out. When

this was happening, Mistress masturbated. She came

repeatedly, the strongest when blades on the vise came

together to cut my sack from my body. It was over, I

was a eunuch.

Mistress cleaned me up, gave me a painkiller, and put

me to bed to rest for the night. Before I fell asleep

she kissed me, then whispered in my ear "Now you can

fuck me, and when the hormones are gone and that's not

possible, we can talking about removing your cock".

I'd gotten my wish by making the ultimate sacrifice to

a woman. But apparently, I still had more to give.