Busted – The Game Show

© Justin Cumberland 2007

Chapter Twenty-Three

Jason was pissed off. He stood in the shower stall with his legs locked slightly apart, leaning back against the wall. He didn’t want to look. He knew, really, that it had gone. Of course it had gone; but he couldn’t face looking at it. He didn’t want to believe it.

He leant his head back against the wall and felt the warm water flow over his head, around his shoulders, over his chest. It rippled down over his abs and flowed to slide over the smooth, new place where his gear had been. It felt good but he tried to ignore the feeling – tried to imagine everything was okay. His dick was still there, he told himself. His balls were still there. Everything was as it had always been and this whole thing was some type of dream. He was in the shower at home. He had been imagining. He had his eyes closed; and when he opened them he would be relieved to find everything still in place. He would reach down and pull himself, alone at home, in his own shower. He had never gone on Busted. None of this had happened.

Suddenly, even though his eyes were closed, he sensed something near his feet. He opened them to see Todd, laying on the floor of the shower, looking up at Jason’s groin. He had one hand on his chest and was biting his bottom lip, looking up at the place, concentrating intently. With his other hand, he was pulling himself, Jason supposed, although he couldn’t see the boy’s dick because it was on the other side of the stall door. All he could see was the motion of the boy’s forearm and the expression on Todd’s face.

Jason closed his eyes and swallowed. ‘Fuck off, Todd,’ he said. He put his legs together and turned around to face the wall, hiding himself.

‘Oh, come on, Jase,’ Todd said. Jason felt Todd’s hand on the back of his calf, sliding up into the hollow of his knee. ‘I just want to look at it.’

‘There’s nothing there,’ Jason said.

‘Yeah, I know,’ Todd said. Jason heard a sudden guffaw followed by, ‘come on, Jase, please. Just show us.’ He felt Todd’s hand pulling at his ankle, trying to turn him around.

Reluctantly, Jason turned around.

Todd starting hitting him between the ankles, making him move his legs wide apart. He looked down and saw the boy slide himself further into the shower until he was right under Jason’s crutch. Jason couldn’t see his head but he could see Todd’s forearm now, working at the place where his cock was – the base just visible under the stall door. Suddenly Todd stopped and put his hand on the bottom of the stall door.

‘I can’t do it now. You fucked it, Jase. I was just about to come.’

Jason threw his head back and looked at the ceiling. He started to cry, silently, not wanting Todd to see him. He stayed there while he felt Todd sliding into the shower at his feet, curling himself around and reaching his hands up Jason’s thighs, trying to touch the place but not being able reach it, sliding his hands around the inside of Jason’s thighs.

‘Help me up,’ Todd said, slapping one hand suddenly against Jason’s outer thigh, looking for a hand. Jason put his hand down and helped Todd up, pulling him, stronger now somehow than he had been after Blast-Off, and remembering, at the same time, that Todd had helped himself up with Jason’s dick then, which had been only an hour or so ago. He couldn’t do that now. Jason didn’t even know where his dick was.

Jason turned his head to one side and kept it angled upwards. He didn’t want Todd to see his face. He didn’t want to stop the tears. Didn’t care.

‘Is it okay, Jase?’ Todd said.

Jason made no reply.

Jason felt Todd’s hand grip one of his hips.

‘Can I—?’ Todd said; and then Jason felt it. Todd’s hand slipped in between his legs, feeling the smooth wide place where his gear had once hung. Suddenly he felt his breath explode out of his lungs in a sudden groan. It felt so good. It felt unbelievably good. He felt his knees turn in together and heard Todd groan too, sliding his other hand into the place and letting his head fall against Jason’s chest. Jason put a hand around him and held him there while he felt Todd’s hands, working between his legs. They were breathing suddenly and deeply. Their breath forcing their bodies apart and before they fell together again. Jason put his other hand around Todd and held him there, annoyed at the boy’s hands exploring his crotch. It felt good, but Todd could just put his hands around him, Jason thought; and they could hug each other.

Todd did this now, moving his hands out from between Jason’s legs and wrapping them around the small of his back. He felt Todd lock one of his thighs between his; and felt the boy moving his hard cock up and down along Jason’s thigh, still trying to come, as though he were a dog in slow motion.

‘I’ll wash it, Jase,’ Todd suddenly said, moving a hand down and over Jason’s arse, feeling the curve of it, squeezing it slightly.

Jason nodded. He wasn’t crying anymore, but he kept his head up. He didn’t want to look at Todd. He felt Todd get the soap and start to lather his body. ‘Stand in the middle,’ he said, and once again, Jason stood in the middle while Todd washed him, working all the way around his body but leaving his groin, saving it for last, even reaching up and washing Jason’s face before turning his attention to it. He pushed Jason backwards gently as he crouched down in front of him. Jason stepped back and leant against the wall, feeling Todd’s hands soaping the place between his legs, the inside of his thighs, rinsing the place and smoothing it with the flat of his hands.

Suddenly Todd leant forward and pressed his face into Jason’s groin. Jason groaned. He felt Todd’s hot breath, his lips and his hair, tickling the place. And then Todd stood up suddenly. He seemed to have forgotten all about coming. He kept one hand in Jason’s groin but said, ‘we’ve got to go. They’re running behind schedule.’

Todd reached behind Jason and turned the shower off. He stepped out and got a towel, coming back to dry Jason. He was still hard; and Jason could see he was still interested as he came back into the stall; but apparently, they really had to go.

Todd had his costume. He had both their costumes. It was the saddle round again. A new show.

He led Jason out by a hand and sat him down on the bench in the locker room. He got the tank top and pulled it over Jason’s head, having trouble because it was so tight. He took Jason’s sandals and crouched down in front of him, placing one foot after another between his knees and buckling the sandals. He stood up again and reached for the cap; but stopped for a moment, got the towel and started to dry Jason’s hair again, while his erect cock bobbed side to side in front of Jason with his rapid movements. Todd picked up the cap again and positioned it on Jason’s head, looking intently at Jason and straightening it before tying the cords under his chin.

Todd smiled. ‘You look good, Jase,’ he said.

Jason sat, aware that Todd was dressing himself, pulling on the tank-top and buckling his sandals quickly before putting on the cap – not taking half as much care as he had with Jason.

Absent-mindedly, Jason let his hands slid between his legs. For the first time he felt the place, moving his fingers back and forth over it and pushing his palm down hard – making sure – really having to believe that everything was gone.

Todd stopped and looked at Jason. ‘It really is gone, Jase,’ he said.

Jason nodded. ‘What does it look like?’ he said. He didn’t want to look down but kept his hands there.

Todd reached down and picked up one of his hands. He led Jason to the mirror and stood behind him to one side. Jason kept his other hand there. He didn’t want to look, wasn’t even looking where the hand was but was looking at his face in the cap, trying to remember how he had stood here just a few hours ago and realized he was beautiful for the first time in his life – accepted, even, the size of his gear, for the first time in his life. And now it was gone. He still looked good. He looked the same – if not better. His face had a bright flush and he looked happy. His lips were very red. His blond hair slightly damp and tousled. His eyes were clear and green. His chest was muscular and his abs were rippled under the tank top – even below it where it ended at his navel. And then – the place where his hand was, the curve of his golden thighs, his knees and his feet in the sandals. He looked fantastic. And if he had had very small gear to start with, then he could imagine that it was concealed under the hand which he held at his groin.

Todd reached around and put his hand on Jason’s, tugging at it gently, trying to let Jason let it go; and slowly, afraid to look, Jason let the hand slide away.

He took a deep breath and saw his eyes open wide in the mirror.

There was nothing there.

It was a patch of smooth skin, golden, like the rest of his skin. There were no pubes and the lines which ran from his hips ran straight down to either side of it curling under the hollows of his groin.

Jason stared. ‘I look like a woman,’ he said.

‘You don’t look like a woman,’ Todd said. He was smiling behind Jason and let Jason’s hand go now, moving around and crouching down in front of him. ‘Women have a mound.’ Todd reached out his hand and ran it over the place between Jason’s legs. ‘You don’t even have a lump.’

‘You think that’s good?’ Jason said, frowning. He could see the bottom of his arse between his legs.

‘It’s the best,’ Todd said, turning and smiling at Jason in the mirror. ‘It’s something new.’

Jason nodded slowly. It really didn’t look that bad.

Todd put his head in the way of the mirror, blocking Jason’s view. He turned back to Jason’s groin and ran his fingers over it. ‘No one’s ever been done like this before,’ he said. Suddenly Todd opened his mouth and wrapped it over the place, biting down gently. He gripped Jason’s arse and pressed his face in while Jason felt a line of Todd’s jism sprout up and hit him on the shin. Todd leant back and put his hand between his legs in sudden pleasure. ‘Oh,’ he said. ‘Oh fuck.’

Jason felt a warm tear start to slide down his face while Todd stood up. Todd went to get some paper and wiped his dick before flushing the paper. Jason stood and stared at himself in the mirror, watching a line of tears slide slowly down his face.

He was a nullo. He was nothing.

‘I don’t see what you’re crying for,’ Todd said. He was sitting on the bench now and looking at Jason. ‘It’s not like there’s a scar or anything.’

Jason said nothing.

‘I mean – it is what you wanted, isn’t it?’

Jason stood still.

‘I mean – that is why you came here, isn’t it, Jase?’

‘Is that what Garth told you?’

‘Garth? No, of course not. He wouldn’t think you wanted it. He thinks he’s doing it – but you do, want it, don’t you? I mean – you did, want it, didn’t you?’

‘Fuck off, Todd,’ Jason said, turning away from the mirror and walking across the locker room. He really wanted some shorts. He really wanted to cover himself. He couldn’t walk around like this.

‘Fuck off? Well, that’s fucking nice, isn’t it? I do everything I can to help you out – and you tell me to go and get fucked.’

Jason stopped. ‘How have you helped me, Todd? You haven’t fucking helped me.’ He started to open and close lockers absent-mindedly, looking for the one he had put his stuff in.

‘Well, I made it as good as I could. I could have just wasted you straight away – in fucking Gift-Giving, I could have just wasted you with that kitchen stuff.’

Jason, suddenly, once again, remembered Gift-Giving. He tried to shut the memory down and got angry at the same time, unable to find his locker, slamming a door and turning to open another one.

‘It would have been the same, anyway,’ Todd continued. ‘The same fucking thing would have happened. You were gonna get done, Jase. The minute you came on the fucking show, you knew you were gonna get done. It’s what you wanted.’

‘I didn’t fucking want it, Todd.’ Jason slammed a locker and moved quickly towards him. Todd jumped up.

‘Don’t hit me again,’ Todd said, putting his hands out and backing away.

‘What?’ Jason remembered, just as he said it, the scene in the lunchroom – Garth, what he had said, Todd, Gift-Giving, and hitting Todd. He stopped.

He put his hands on his head and sat down hard, unexpectedly. A series of images flashed in his mind: the rock-climbing, the baseball bat, the ferry disaster, the swim meet, the gymnastics comp – and there were others: skateboarding with Garth on a stair rail, ripping his shorts at school, ‘accidentally’ jumping onto the lane rope in the pool, zipping his gear into his jeans. He wasn’t that clumsy. They were accidents, maybe; but he had never really believed that. He had always known, of course. Garth there, orchestrating everything – believing he was – still believing it, when all the time he had had an accomplice – Jason himself. Allowing it to happen. Wanting it to happen. Getting off on the fear. Getting off on the humiliation. Being caught naked in public. Embarrassing himself. Hurting himself. Getting off on the pain. And ignoring his part in the whole thing. Pretending. Pretending he had nothing to do with it. Pretending they were just accidents. Accidents that Garth had arranged, maybe – but not even wanting to think that far – just being blind, stupidly. It was what he had wanted. Todd was right, of course. He had known all along. Jason had loved it. He had loved being beautiful and being made a fool of. Laughed at. Humiliated. But…

He looked down at his groin.

He hadn’t meant, ever, to go this far, had he?

He shook his head and stared at it.

‘I tried to make it as good as possible,’ Todd said, sitting down, tucking one leg underneath him. He could see Jason was calm now; and he reached out a hand, putting it on Jason’s back, looking down at Jason’s groin. ‘I mean – you wouldn’t have liked it if I’d done it all at once.’

Jason shook his head. ‘You can’t have your cake and eat it,’ he said, still staring at his groin.

‘What?’

‘You can’t have your cake and eat it,’ he turned to Todd.

‘What does that mean?’

‘It means you can’t eat your cake and still have it afterwards – after you’ve eaten it – to eat it again.’ He looked at his groin. ‘You can’t keep it and eat it.’

‘Oh,’ Todd said, throwing his head back. ‘Fuck! How did you work that out?’

‘It’s archaic language,’ Jason said. ‘I’m not stupid.’

‘I never said you were.’

‘Well, some people think I am.’

‘Well, not me,’ Todd said. ‘I never thought you were. You’re a naïve genius – like Garth says.’

‘Yeah, but he thinks he’s being funny.’

‘That’s because he’s an idiot,’ Todd said. ‘He doesn’t understand how right he is. He thinks he even tricked you into coming here. He thinks he’s somehow done you without you wanting it – and you won’t even know. He reckons you’ll never work it out. “Jase,” he says to me, “is a naïve genius.”’

‘A naïve genius?’ Jason threw his head back.

‘Well, it’s true,’ Todd said. ‘I knew – when I heard it. I knew I had to come on the show then. I didn’t have a choice about it – no matter what I wanted. I knew you were the one. You are the one.’

‘The one?’

‘Come on, Jase.’

‘What?’

‘You know this stuff.’

‘I don’t, Todd.’

‘Daniel’s book? The seal?’

‘I don’t even know anyone called Daniel.’

‘Yeah, and seals are extinct, right?’

Jason smiled.

‘There is a point to it, Jase?’

‘A point to what, Todd?’

‘The show.’

‘You mean it’s not all just fun and games.’

‘Hardly.’

Jason started to laugh.

‘You will get there, Jase.’

‘You think so?’ he said. He looked at Todd intently, stared deep into his eyes. ‘You really think so?’

‘I know so.’

‘How do you know?’

‘It’s my job.’

‘You’re a kid, Todd. You don’t have a job.’

‘I’m not a kid,’ Todd said. ‘Not really. I’m mean – I’m not really a kid. I’m not a real boy at all.’

‘Are you a fairy?’

‘A fairy! Are you trying to be funny?’