Tease Me Off (Volume 7)

By teez

Winners of "Customer Feedback" letters contest!

The 3RD PLACE WINNER goes to the typical "can't be bothered with Christmas shopping" average American male. His wife was sent 2 "Stroke Me Off's" free of charge with a hand written note from the company president herself, which read:

(Try these instead! You'll find them even more entertaining! Trust Me!)

(" Merry Christmas from TMO Enterprises")

RECEIVED: 12/17/99

Dear Tease Me Off,

My wife recently mailed you an order for your standard model device. I have no idea what your product does, nor do I really care, as I'm sure I'll find out soon. My wife is insisting upon getting me one for Christmas this year. She seems so determined that it's absolutely something I need. Constantly praising "all the girls are buying them this year for their husbands and boyfriends". Since it is becoming so popular, I would like to change her order to QTY (2). If she feels it is that good, then I am sure she will most likely want one for my son as well. I have enclosed a new order form with my MasterCard information, BUT please send the items to my listed business address so that I can surprise her with them. Don't bother wrapping it; my secretary is aware that you're sending it here. She thinks it's a great thing for me as well, and graciously insists on helping me out.

Thank you,

Ed Dunn

The 2ND PLACE WINNER has been offered the new position of Quality Control Lead for finding the only box ever misprinted, and shipped out the factory without a manual.

RECEIVED: 7/14/96

Dear Tease Me Off,

I recently purchased your model "6877 Tease Me Off Gastration Device" and have found that it is defective and dangerous. My 70-year-old grandfather has been suffering from severe gas for many years now, and I decided to give your machine a try. Unfortunately the device caused the poor man to mess himself. It then proceeded to sever his testicles without warning. Don't you people even test your products first?

I followed the picture carefully! I securely tied him into his wheelchair and even exposed my breasts for him the entire time, just like the box shows. So I am pretty convinced I used it correctly.

Well luckily he is not mad, so we won't be pursuing legal action. He's actually quite happy and smiles like never before whenever I enter his room. Even grandma appears happier, and is now promoting your defective machine to all the ladies on Bingo night. I would suggest you get this defect corrected as soon as possible. I am convinced her Bingo friends will be ordering them soon, and not to mention the many others who may suffer from gastration attacks.

Extremely concerned,

Jenny Neersigh

Blind Pass, WV

The 1ST PLACE WINNER was recently promoted to TMO's East Coast Divisional Sales Manager. After explaining these new found "wet and tingly" sensations to her, the pretty 19-year-old sweetheart literally tripled company sales during the second quarter.

Keep up the good work Prissy!

RECEIVED: 4/22/98

Dear Tease Me Off,

I just received it in the mail and wanted to thank you so much for rushing my order!!!

My soon-to-be former boyfriend is going to get such a taste of payback this time. Can you believe he actually had the balls to try and sneak my poor little doggie "Bennie" to the vet and have him neutered without even telling me? I don't understand neutering, but any form of surgery is such a mean thing for him to secretly do to my cute little "Bennie" behind my back!!! Well I am now ready to fix him for trying that! He has been constantly badgering me to play some silly games he makes up that I find so gross. I still don't understand why he would want too. So I went ahead and bought all kinds of these disgusting items. A black leather bikini that makes me look so silly by pushing up my boobies (but it does have the cutest little silver studs and matching armbands), really high tight black boots, handcuffs, whips, gags, and all sorts punishment items, just like he described. One of them is big plastic "Boy Thingy" that I can actually wear over my bikini. It's sooo weird!! He practically begs for me use these things on him...YUK!

Well, he is going to try them ALL this weekend. I intend to use each and every one of these sick items on him, and I don't care how loud he moans this time. Whenever he talks to me about this wacko stuff, it makes my tummy tingle, and causes a terrible wetness in my panties. It's so DISGUSTING. I sometimes have to go and change into dry ones! His little thingy is always getting stiff, especially when we kiss. He keeps pressing it against me just like my little "Bennie" pup does sometimes. I know most boys don't act like this, and I'll find a new boyfriend soon!

Once he actually talked me into touching and petting his little thingy. It made such a mess on my hands, skirt, and stockings. All he did was sit there and smile! I was so mad that I made him lick it up. My panties ended up over-soaked again, so I made HIM take my panties off me, and hand wash them right there-and-then while I scolded him. This only made him get stiff again. So I rubbed it harder, pointed it downward, and smacked it a few times. He then messed on my pretty blue shoes. I didn't even have to tell him what to do this time. He saw my angry face, I pointed at his mess, and down on all fours he went. He got every drop this time, but the dope got stiff AGAIN! I threatened to break up with him RIGHT THEN if he didn't get rid of that stiff little nuisance. He just knelt there all teary eyed. I made him rub it again himself, and if he made a mess this time, I would smack his little balls as well! He whined and rubbed faster and faster while I scolded him into hurrying. This only made my clean panties damp again. So I showed him the wet spot he caused, made him pull off my panties again, and hand wash this pair too. I thought the wet and wash cycle would never end.

He has no control over that little thingy and I think he has corrupted my poor little "Bennie" pup as well. Every time I pet little "Bennie" down there, he makes a yucky mess too! Well my boyfriend is paying for this already. He now cleans my panties with his tongue, and I make him lick my vagina clean, EVERY TIME it gets all wet. And if he gets a stiffy while cleaning me, (which he always does), I slap it right back down again. Boys are so silly!!

I hope your machine works as well as the brochure says. This little mess making business has to stop for good! I will try it out on little "Bennie" pup first, to make sure it will work on my boyfriend this weekend.

Oh well, sorry if I rambled on! I only meant to write a thank you letter!

Sincerely,

Miss Prissy Hornsbee

Virginville, SC