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NERO By Pueros Chapter LI Holidays (Domus of Petronius, Quirinal Hill, Rome, Iulius DCCV A.V.C. [mid July 52]) You see how neatly I sneaked you away, just before you started sucking off the guests. You can repay the favour to this dick here. But no! I know youll get out of it, you wont do it. Ill end up the poor sucker instead and youll have a good laugh at my expense. I wouldnt be the first. But look, Ill tell you what, if you are a good girl, my little pork cuntlet, when my son dies Ill buy your freedom and keep you as a concubine. The thing is Im not now in control of my finances. Im young, you see. They keep an eye on me. That little son of mine wont let me out of his sight. Hes such a bad-tempered tight-fisted penny-pinching skinflint. Hes afraid Ill be ruined. Im the only father hes got!" - the vulgar old juryman, Philocleon, delivering stock promises to a flute-girl, learned by attending many debauched symposia, in Aristophenes Wasps (1345-59) The host, Petronius, and his guests all laughed at his recitation in Latin of some of his favourite lines of vulgarity from Aristophenes Greek play, Wasps. The noise was proof of the fact that the expensively varied dinner of many courses in a Hellenic theme had by now been eaten. The tables used for the purpose had been replaced with smaller versions, on top of which tragçmenta, comprising dried fruits and nuts and other minor desserts were presented. Bowls of water had been simultaneously passed round so that the diners could wash their hands, whilst being garlanded with flowers and anointed with perfume by slaves, so that they could now concentrate on serious drinking and therefore undoubtedly increasingly drunken and ribald conversation and singing. A libation, or akratos, of undiluted wine, using a special cup, or metaniptron, passed round the participants, had been made. However, only the guests of honour on holiday from Greece, Athenodoros and Melankomas, had known the appropriate paeans that custom decreed should subsequently be sung to the gods at this time during a Hellenic-style symposium. Nevertheless, the pair sung with both gusto and skill, which more than made up for the lack of choral numbers. A major mistake for the wellbeing of everyone present was then perpetrated. The kind but perhaps rather too enthusiastic host, Petronius, was elected symposiarch. Consequently, the elegentiae arbiter was afforded the power to dictate the level of customary dilution of wine. Wine at Greek symposia is traditionally diluted by a slave in a large bowl, or krater, in accordance with the symposiarchs instructions. As the drink is usually consumed in quantities akin to beer, watering to two-sevenths of full strength is most common. Unfortunately, Petronius only ordered 50% dilution, after boastfully declaring that "We Romans know how to take our drink!" Consequently, after a long and raucous night, all of the participants in the elegentiae arbiters symposium, including myself, were to wake up the next day with huge hangovers. However, as often happens during the event itself, all of the guests had originally unwisely shared the hosts overnight optimism, as more and more wine was joyously, uncaringly and increasingly inebriately absorbed. Nevertheless, I still later someone managed to remember most of the evenings chatter and other happenings, or at least I think I did within the rather pained and turbid brain that greeted my subsequent awakening. After the laughter at Petronius recitation of bawdy lines from Aristophenes Greek play, Wasps, had subsided, I, who was happily reclining next to my beloved Gaius on the Greek-style two-person couches provided for the all-male symposium, asked "Why was the girl called a cuntlet?" "Well, I must say, I dont know," Petronius answered, "but perhaps our Greek guests could clear up the mystery for us." Melankomas immediately glanced at his younger lover, Athenodoros, who was reclining next to him and whom he knew would be too polite to correct the hosts mistake. The Carian therefore took on the responsibility himself. "Hghh humm," Melankomas coughed before reminding everyone that "Athenodoros might have been born in Aigion but hes actually of Roman stock, not Greek. In fact, his adherence to the customs of his people once cost him the chance of becoming the first person ever to retain a boys Olympic wreath." Melankomas was, of course, referring to the occasion when Athenodoros had been disqualified from the boys stade at the 207th Olympiad because he had recently followed Roman tradition by accepting, at the age of 16, the toga virilis denoting manhood. However, the young Aigionian had subsequently made up for this disappointment by instead winning the equivalent mens race at the same games. Petronius ears immediately reddened, which was always a sign that he felt embarrassed. However, such a feeling did not prevent him from replying with an instant profuse apology for forgetting that Athenodoros was Roman not Greek. "Theres no need to apologise," Athenodoros responded, "as the mistake is very common. Anyway, having lived in Greece since my birth, albeit in a Roman household, I proudly consider myself to be an amalgam of both nationalities." The Romans present at the symposium realised that many of their compatriots, especially amongst the upper classes, would abhor Athenodoros attitude. The athletes viewpoint suggested that he was content for his heritage to be contaminated by, what many snobbish Latins would consider to be, supposedly inferior Greek culture. However, no-one present agreed with such a perspective, or was so impolite as to raise the subject. "As for the girls nickname," Athenodoros next advised, "Im afraid that Im now going to reveal my rather uncultured knowledge of Greek slang. The word choiros, which means piggy, is also a colloquialism for female genitalia. Hence, Aristophenes use in his play of choirion, or more normally piglet, as cuntlet!" The increasingly inebriated conversation between the host and his guests then rather incongruously for a while concentrated on Hellenic etymology. "No," Athenodoros was later overheard correcting Petronius, in Greek, passion for boys is termed paiderastēs, whilst that for youths is either philopais or philomeirakios. The slightly tipsy guest and host were now discussing homosexual expressions, as they reclined on their Hellenic-style couches alongside their own lovers, respectively Melankomas and Encolpius, whilst Giton played his cithara sweetly, in tune with the girl aulētride. Let me therefore tell you about some katapepaiderastēkenai, Melankomas subsequently offered, after the convivial chatter had become even more ribald in line with the copious consumption of wine. The Carian was now referring to the Greek term for men who spent their entire estates on expensive affairs with boys. Drunken conversation then somehow drifted onto female prostitution. Kubda, Melankomas unthinkingly advised, or the rear bent-over entry position, is the cheapest. Lordō, the rear bent-back entry posture, with the girl leaning back against the mans chest is also less costly than the most expensive kelēs, or racehorse, where the prostitute sits astride the male and rides him like a pony! The perceptive Carian then noticed the look of supposed surprised annoyance on Athenodoros beautiful face and immediately blushed bright red in anticipation of the inevitable worrying question to come. "And how do you know about these positions adopted by female pornai?" Athendoros asked, whilst using the Greek word for common prostitutes and feigning shock and irritation. The Aigionian then added, whilst simultaneously turning his head away from his adjacent lover in apparent disgust, "I thought that your passions were always concentrated on me!" "Er," Melankomas sheepishly attempted to respond, whilst trying to summon up a decent excuse and not noticing the mischievous wink that Athenodoros had afforded to the other diners, "well .er ." The Carian was then put out of his misery by the sight of his lovers gorgeous body visibly quaking next to him and the broad grins on everyone elses face, accompanied by some escaped tittering, not least from Athenodoros. You akratokōthōnes! Melankomas shouted at everyone, whilst using Demosthenes description for young drunkards. He also slapped Athenodoros covered bottom. However, his rebukes were clearly not serious, as he too was now laughing heartily. Soon afterwards, the philotēsias, or cup of friendship, was passed round and kōthōn, or deep drinking, indulged, which pledged the drinkers to each other. Ribald conversation subsequently happily returned to Greek prostitution. "Prostitution is sometimes called ergasia, or trade, Melakomas advised, hence one term for brothel of ergastērion, literally place of business. An alternative is the cruder kinētērion, meaning fuckery! "Apart from the ordinary pornai in their brothels," Melankomas expounded, "there are concubines, or pallakai, escorts, or mistharnousai, often hired for an evening or longer, and very expensive courtesans, or hetaeras, with the really big fee earners termed megalomisthoi." "However," the smiling Carian then informed, whilst placing an arm round the adjacent Athenodoros, "I much prefer my beloved, or erōmenos! Athenodoros sublime blue eyes subsequently glanced into the darker variety possessed by Melankomas and his sweet rosy lips stated I too much prefer my erastēs! He was, of course, referring to the Greek word for lover. Athenodoros then kissed Melankomas, which was an act that encouraged the other diners to quieten in order to pay more attention to their own respective partners sharing their Greek-style couches. My own lips were quickly engulfed by those of Gaius, whilst his hands again began excitedly to explore my form in a most intimate manner. The attending pairings of Axenius and Pliny, Cornutus and Servius, Persius and Quintilianus, Rubellius Plautius and Apollinus and Silius Italicus and Nerva were also soon similarly engaged. Meanwhile, Giton and the young female aulētride, who was playing a double-reeded piped flute, or aulos, continued to produce their pleasant melodies. The scenes of nurturing homosexual passion around actually relieved the girl, who was just past pubescence, as they represented the first real evidence confirming the earlier reassurance she had been given that she would not be required for Greek symposium-style sexual duties. The aulētride could therefore simply concentrate on helping the boy cithara-player to provide the appropriate music to support the mixing, drinking and heavy consumption of wine, copious bawdy conversation, laughter and singing, current homosexual kissing and petting and, scheduled for later, Gitons dancing. She also happily also did not anticipate a subsequent Greek-style kōmos, which was a conga of symposium revellers that spilled out into the street, often to the accompaniment of flute-girls and intent on riotous and debauched behaviour. The aulētride was content to believe that debauched behaviour would instead now be confined to Petronius andrôn. (Imperial latifundium, Campania, Italia, same time) .that education by which we learn to distinguish between noble and shameful things . - Aischines The aulētride was, of course, correct in her assumption regarding debauchery only as far as the participants at Petronius symposium were concerned. Given the nature of many human beings, similar activities were actually simultaneously taking place all over the world, including on the vast country estate, or latifundium, once owned by my late unlamented master, Caius Silius, where the libidinous elegentiae arbiter had once made love to both Apollinus and me. Debauchery was probably commonplace at this time of night amongst the many workers on the estate, who comprised the free, freed and slaves. However, two particular couplings have relevance to my autobiography. The holidaying 13 year-old Nero had invited his best and only real friend, 15 year-old Suffuscus, to his bedroom to play some games. However, having recently discovered some facts about his body and its needs and desires, the prince was not just interested in the usual innocent boyish pursuits, and neither was his intimate companion. The pair had discovered the joys of manually and orally exploring each others bodies during their last holiday on the estate, as well as of ultimate mutual masturbation. Consequently, the pair, who had maintained such interest as best they could when back in Rome, were currently making use of improved freedom to indulged their favourite game. The young Imperial freedmen, Doryphorus and Helius, who comprised Neros official secretariat, as well as holiday supervisors, were happy to let the two boys play together, even this late at night, as there was no particular reason why the 13 and 15 year-olds needed to rise early in the morning. The attitude of the guardians would also not have been different if they were aware of precisely what their charges were at times doing in the privacy of the princes bedroom. The attitude of Doryphorus and Helius would not just result from the fact that they too were lovers and were actually simultaneously indulging their passion in another nearby bedroom. They were aware that, as long as the impregnation of the anal or oral orifices of noble Romans did not occur, there was nothing in the relationship between Nero and Suffuscus that should worry them. More innocent sexual practices between such upper-class boys were both common and nothing was considered wrong with recreational sex of either type, bisexuality being considered the norm. Attitudes towards the passive partner in sodomy or the active one in fellatio were somewhat different. Although, being of Greek origin, Doryphoros and Helius happily ignored such bans, they were aware that no proud Roman should allow his anal or oral orifices to be invaded by a penis and impregnated. However, well-educated boys like Nero and Suffuscus were trusted to be aware of such proscriptions and not to dishonour themselves by indulging in forbidden practices. In fact, the pair of boys could be currently trusted in respect of such matters, but only until Neros attitude to many issues affecting him someday radically changed. (Domus of Petronius, Quirinal Hill, Rome, same time) The pleasant life is produced not by string of drinking bouts and revelries, nor by the enjoyment of boys and women, nor by fish and the other items on an expensive menu, but by sober reasoning. - Epicurus I have to confess that, even for me, a eunuch, Gitons highly skilful dancing at Petronius symposium, to the accompaniment of the girl aulētrides flute, was very erotic, especially after the supposed elegentiae arbiter rather inelegantly intervened. After quickly removing his tunic and sandals for the performance, the boy wore nothing except a very skimpy loincloth and some jewellery, which comprised a golden medallion and some wrist and ankle bangles, and were very expensive gifts from his owner. He also gyrated to the music with sensual perfection. Nevertheless, the highlight of Gitons performance, conducted in the middle of the andrôn, was a rather rude, in both senses of the word, action perpetrated by the inebriated Petronius. Apparently infatuated, at the expense of his usual kind consideration, by the erotic gyrations taking place in front of him, the supposed elegantiae arbiter suddenly reached out to grab the thin cord that held the 14 year-old dancers sole skimpy garment in place. The strength of the cord was no match for that of Petronius and consequently Gitons only cover was soon falling towards the floor mosaic, which, perhaps rather appropriately, depicted a rampant Zeus, in aquiline form, raping the naked Ganymede. However, the proficient young and beautiful eunuch dancer hardly flinched or missed a step. The boy instead just carried on with his expert performance, apparently uncaring, and perhaps even proud, that he was now doing so naked and with his gelded, but nevertheless still delightful, genitalia on view. Athenodoros was heard to comment loudly in [ancient] Greek to Melankomas Καλος ό παις έστι! The athlete had actually used the Hellenic tongue in an attempt not to embarrass the young dancer. However, Giton revealed his own ethnic heritage by blushing in recognition of what had been said. Giton was from southern Gaul but, like many inhabitants of that area, was ethnically Greek and spoke the Hellenic language. He therefore knew that Athenodoros, who was famed for his magnificent appearance as well as for his athletic accomplishments, had commented "The boy is beautiful!" The sight of Gitons highly erotic dancing only intensified the lecherous activities on the couches surrounding the young performer, with the sole exception of that occupied by the aulētride. The latter girl somehow managed to continue to play her flute efficiently, despite her eyes displaying clear interest in the young naked eunuch now gyrating sensually in front of her. (Imperial palace, Palatine Hill, Rome, next morning) Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity. - Hippocrates (Precepts) "I suggest that you go back to bed," a grinning 11 year-old Britannicus kindly commented to Apollinus, whose white face and frequent rushed escapes to the toilets provided clear evidence of some form of stomach upset. Being aware that his personal slave had on the previous evening attended a symposium, hosted by the part-time teacher of creative writing to both himself and Nero, the astute younger prince had also correctly guessed the precise nature of the distressed belly. "I cant .desert my post .Master," Apollinus stutteringly retorted, whilst struggling not to vomit again. "Oh, yes you can," Britannicus replied, whilst referring to his attendant similarly aged and grinning best friend, "as Titus and I can happily play here without supervision. In fact, itll be far safer for the pair of us, as then we can guarantee that you wont be sick over us!" "But ." Apollinus began to argue before being interrupted by Britannicus, who, along with his best friend, thought the situation highly amusing. "Go," the prince commanded, "or Ill send for one of fathers doctors to sort you out!" Apollinus appreciated that Britannicus threat was not serious, as Claudius himself did not trust any of his doctors. The Emperor considered them to be not only useless quacks, who could do more harm than good, but also potentially dangerous assassins. Nevertheless, Apollinus finally acceded to Britannicus demand for three reasons. Firstly, he knew that further sleep was the only real way he could quickly recover from his hangover and return to perform his duties properly. Secondly, he realised that his charges would indeed probably be better off on their own, as he was not in any condition to supervise their activities in his usual efficient and amicably active manner or prevent himself from being sick in their presence. Thirdly, he wanted to vomit again and therefore had to leave the princes rooms, which were reassuringly well-guarded by Praetorians, to head once more for the nearest toilets. When Apollinus eventually returned to his own room in the slave quarters of the Imperial palace, which he shared with me, I was still soundly asleep. I would not know for several more hours about the intensity of my own hangover, as my duties for Claudius were not scheduled to begin until the afternoon. In the event, the greenish tint to my temporarily extremely pale skin caused the amused and smiling Claudius to dismiss me back to my room with as much kind consideration and forcefulness as his son had earlier done to Apollinus. The Emperor then good-naturedly enlisted another of his food-tasters to fulfil my shift. (Domus of Petronius, Quirinal Hill, Rome, same time) He spent his days in sleep, his nights in attending to his .duties or in amusement. By his dissolute life he had become as famous as other men by a life of energy, and he was regarded as no ordinary profligate, but as an accomplished voluptuary. His reckless freedom of speech, being regarded as frankness, procured him popularity. Yet . later .he had shown vigour and capacity for affairs. Afterwards returning to his life of vicious indulgence, he .was looked upon as an absolute authority on questions of taste in connection with the science of luxurious living. - Tacitus, writing about Petronius Giton had just returned to Petronius luxurious domus, after considerately escorting the young aulētride back to her own much less affluent residence amongst Romes tenement slums, which was shared by other female flautists. The symposium had finished too late for anyone to venture safely into the citys plebeian areas and so the girl had slept the night in the servants quarters of the elegentiae arbiters residence, which still represented far better accommodation than that to which she was accustomed. Many people from outside the Empire, and I include myself amongst them, as I was born in a free Britannia, consider it strange that most poor but free Roman citizens actually live in greater squalor and hardship than the majority of slaves. The latter have the benefit of living with the at least reasonably affluent, most of who take care of their human property, either so that they do not depreciate in value or for more benevolent reasons. Giton and the young aulētride had taken a liking to each other and, despite the fact that any relationship could never be sexually consummated, arranged to meet again when both were not working. The pair even briefly kissed on parting at the door of the girls shared tenement rooms. On leaving, Giton was happy to note that the home of the aulētride, whom he appreciated was no virgin, despite her tender age, did not appear to double as a brothel. Flute-girls in both Greece and Rome are notorious for offering their bodies as well as their musical abilities as part of their services. Giton, whose own background as a musician and erotic dancer made him aware of such matters, therefore presumed that the young aulētride and her colleagues must confine their prostitution services to the various functions at which they played their flutes. Consequently, unless she was a nymphomaniac, the girl, whom he had just escorted home, must have been delighted that she had been very well paid by the generous Petronius for simply playing her instrument. This happy circumstance had arisen because, besides the copious food, wine, conversation, singing, dancing and laughter, a prime constituent of the symposiums catalogue of activities had been rampant homosexuality. On returning to Petronius domus on Romes Quirinal Hill, Giton, who had remained sober throughout the symposium, did not disturb his somnolent master or Encolpius, who had not been so careful with their wine consumption and were sound asleep in each others arms. In fact, the boy would not see the elegentiae arbiter or the older eunuch slave until the next morning when, despite slumber lasting over 24 hours, the pair still emerged from their bed with hangovers, much to the 14 year-olds undisguised amusement. (Imperial palace, Palatine Hill, Rome, next evening) Come, dear boy, pledge your lean thighs to me . - Anacreon of Teos (fragment 407) Despite his own hangover, Gaius, as ever accompanied by Hylas, had visited the room I shared with Apollinus in the slave quarters of the Imperial palace on the evening after Petronius symposium. However, discovering both me and the young Rhodian sound asleep and having assured himself as to our welfare, he quickly departed to return to his own bed. During Gaius next trip to my room, at the usual time on the following evening, the wondrous young man from Volsinii cheekily informed me that he would have to make love to me twice in order to make up for my unavailability on his previous visit. I retorted that he could have woken me up yesterday to accomplish his wicked way, which he had anyway achieved in the plural during Petronius symposium. Gaius replied that he could not recall making love to me a second time on the lounge in Petronius andrôn, whilst similar activities were enacted on nearby divans, to the accompaniment of sweet music from Gitons cithara and t he fascinated aulētrides flute. However, two factors clearly displayed my beloveds dishonesty to me.Firstly, Gaius extremely handsome face sported a mischievous grin. Secondly, I, perhaps rather conceitedly but still correctly, simply knew that the young man from Volsinii would never forget making love to me, especially in such unusual circumstances. Nevertheless, I did not contest his fib and instead allowed him to make love to me twice on this warm summer evening, whilst Hylas, as usual, diplomatically slept on Apollinus now vacated bed. (Domus of Rubellius Plautius, Palatine Hill, Rome, same time) And they were stunned, Immortal gods and mortal men, when they saw The sheer deception, irresistible to men. From her is the race of female women, The deadly race and population of women, A great infestation among mortal men. - Hesiod about the first woman, Pandora (Theogony) "Its a brilliant idea," Apollinus commented to Rubellius Plautius, not long after Tiberius very attractive grandson had sodomised and at the same time masturbated Britannicus personal slave. The beautiful 20 year-old Rhodian had knelt on all four limbs to allow his 19 year-old lover to achieve this feat, which resulted in simultaneous orgasms. The evidence for such mutual enjoyment was currently drying on the bedcover and oozing out of Apollinus pleasured rectum, and would not be cleaned away until early morning when the young Rhodian would return to the nearby Imperial palace and his duties for Britannicus. The spermatic proof of homosexual ecstasy would also later be added to overnight. Apollinus designation as a brilliant idea referred to Rubellius Plautius suggestion for an imminent holiday. The young Rhodian had told his lover about Claudius intent to spend the rest of the month of Iulius and that of Augustus in an Imperial villa near the seaside resort of Baiae, south of Rome. The Empress, Agrippina, would not be accompanying her husband but would instead worryingly remain in the capital, despite the intense summer heat that encouraged anyone who could afford the time and cost to flee to the cooler coast or hills. Agrippina already possessed a lot of influence. Claudius holiday absence from Rome would now effectively make her ruler of the Empire for 1½ months, and Apollinus was worried about one particular implication of such a temporary transfer of power. The Empress would not allow Britannicus to accompany the Emperor to Baiae, as she was still intent on keeping father and son apart as much as possible. Her excuse was that the boys supposed delicate health might not survive exposure to coastal mosquitoes. Apollinus feared that Agrippina might make use of Claudius absence to harm Britannicus in Rome. Rubellius Plautius idea entailed offering an alternative holiday for the young prince, at a country estate owned by Tiberius orphaned grandson in the hills near Lake Volsiniensis to the north of Rome. The idea appeared brilliant to Apollinus for three reasons. First and foremost, the break would remove Britannicus from the capital and Agrippinas potentially fatal attentions. Second, the young Rhodian would be able to holiday with not only his prince but also his lover. Third, Tiberius grandson, who was a significant member of the Imperial family and nephew and occasional reluctant secret lover of the Empress, would have some influence over both her and her husband and should therefore be able to persuade them to agree to his suggestion. There was actually a fourth reason why Rubellius Plautius idea was good. However, this was not yet obvious. Both Rubellius Plautius and Apollinus judged that Agrippina could surely not object to the idea of Britannicus holidaying with his young close relative in the safe climbs of the hill country of Etruria without raising suspicions about her motives. In the event, the Empress actually surprisingly exhibited enthusiasm for the suggestion, although her nephew was unsure whether this was real or was hiding secret annoyance. In fact, heeding Senecas advice not to put all her eggs in one basket in respect of her desire to gain future unchallenged power through a figurehead successor to Claudius whom she could manipulate, Agrippina now had no intent to harm Britannicus. The cunning Empress simply wanted to separate the boy from his father as much as possible, both physically and emotionally, in order to maximise her influence over each of them, and holidays that took them in opposite directions from Rome ideally suited her plans. (Imperial palace, Palatine Hill, Rome, same time) .you had me down, and properly buggered Slowly with the entire length of your tool. - Catullus (poem 28) Gaius reluctantly informed me about his bad news whilst he was redressing, with the reawakened Hylas and my own assistance, after making love to me for the second time. I had been expecting him to acquaint me with such information, and such anticipation had caused me mischievously to refrain from telling him something similar. "My mother and father," Gaius sheepishly advised me, "expect me to summer with them in Volsinii. Ive delayed departure for as long as I can but theyve now sent a slave, nominally to help me with my baggage but in reality to ensure that I return with him." I knew that Gaius would be genuinely distressed at having to leave me behind in sweltering Rome without his daily attentions, and his anguish was obvious in his face as he appraised me about his news. I therefore immediately sought to relieve at least some of his sorrow and I did so in two ways. Firstly, I kissed Gaius and then told him that, although our temporary separation would be painful, he had to do his duty in respect of his loving parents, who were surely missing their wonderful son immensely. Secondly, whilst displaying a mischievous smile, I told him of my news. "By the way," I advised, "whilst youre sauntering off to lakeside Volsinii, Im going with the Emperor to the seaside at Baiae!" Gaius momentarily stared at my conspiratorially grinning face and then his own began to beam with a broad smile too. "You knew that Id have to go to Volsinii for the summer," Gaius then suggested, "and Ill bet that youve known for a while that you were going to Baiae. You, you sly boy, have deliberately waited until I made my confession before making yours!" I did not answer but instead just maintained my grin. "Well," the only partially redressed Gaius therefore vengefully responded to my apparent nonchalance, "Im going to make you pay for your mischief!" The young man from Volsinii then grabbed me with his hands and started tickling me in the parts he well knew were highly susceptible to such torment. The quick result was that we both collapsed in a co-joined heap back onto my bed, with me giggling wildly whilst trying fruitlessly to fend off Gaius, who was still describing me as "You sly boy!" Meanwhile, Hylas looked on with resignation, perceptively knowing where the scene would ultimately end. In fact, as the lips of Gaius and me eventually met once more, and my lovers fingers began to perpetrate other intimate actions on my body instead of tickling, Hylas, whilst resuming his diplomatic post on Apollinus bed, philosophically announced "Here we go again!" (Italica, Baetica, southern Hispania, same time) The world is swept along by blind chance. We lie when we say that Jupiter reigns. - Lucan (Pharsalia, 7.446) "Thank you for receiving me," 13 year-old Lucanus said in polite farewell to the young man who was almost a decade older. "Thank you for again taking the trouble to visit," Marcus Ulpius Traianus replied. Neither guest nor host were native Hispanians, as both came from Roman immigrant families of local significance. "It was the least that I could do," Lucanus responded, "in order again to thank the brave man who saved a certain younger threesome from a fate worse than death on the banks of the River Baetis 2 years ago. Anyway, Persius and Quintilianus would have killed me when I return to Rome if I had not passed on their acknowledgments and regards too. Im also sure that Q would have used his burgeoning skills as an expert and eloquent lawyer to ensure that any subsequent trial jury found the pair innocent of my murder on the grounds of provocation!" Trainus immediately laughed again in genuine amusement at Lucanus humour. The boy had often entertained the young man with his wittiness over the course of the sunny afternoon, as they conversed in the colonnaded garden of the large luxurious villa belonging to the 22 year-olds father, which was located near to the southern Hispanian city of Italica. Lucanus was spending the summer holidays with his own family in Corduba, which was to the northeast of Italica up the River Baetis, after which the Roman province of Baetica had been named. The boy had felt obliged to journey southwest, just as he had done during his return to his home city in the previous year, to thank the young man who had saved P, Q and him from being raped by soldiers. In the course of conveying his thanks and respects, Lucanus had updated the curious Trainus about recent events in Rome, which might otherwise take much longer to reach the young mans ears, and about his own plans to become a poet. However, Senecas 13 year-old nephew diplomatically did not advise his host about the proposed republican themes to his verse. Trainus was pleased to receive such a pleasant visitor, even if Lucanus only wore a boys toga. After all, the 13 year-old was not only good company and brought interesting news of happenings in the Imperial capital but also earned respect, despite being just a child, for being closely related to the Empress Agrippinas now very important and influential principal adviser. In return for the news from Rome, Trainus confirmed some of his own, namely that he had been married to a young lady called Marcia. He also proudly showed off to his boy guest the first product of the marriage, namely his new baby daughter, Ulpia Marciana. As the sun was not far from setting, Trainus escorted Lucanus to the boys waiting coach, or carpentum, which belonged to his father, who was Senecas younger brother, Marcus Annaeus Mela. As the 13 year-old climbed inside, he smilingly remarked "Im glad that, unlike in Rome, theres no restriction against wheeled traffic during daylight hours in Italica. I hate riding in a litter, as I always seem to acquire carriers who have the knack of bumping their passengers around most uncomfortably!" Trainus could not help but laugh again at another of Lucanus quip before exchanging final farewells and the hope that they would meet again next summer. As the coach-driver then spurred his pair of horses to begin to move the carpentum, the boy popped his head and arm out of the open window to shout one final sentence and wave goodbye. "Dont forget," Lucanus shouted to Trainus, as his carpentum gathered speed, "if you ever attain your ambition of coming to Rome, you must visit P, Q and me!" "Dont worry," the young man replied, "I shall!" Lucanus diplomatic reluctance to appraise Trainus about the proposed republicanism of his intended future poetry was perhaps just as well. A future Emperor of Rome would also be born in the young mans family villa near Italica within 14 months, and would someday fatefully accompany his parents to the Imperial capital. (Imperial palace, Palatine Hill, Rome, same time) For rarely are sons similar to their fathers. Most are worse, and a few are better . - Homer (Odyssey) After making love for a not unprecedented third consecutive time, Gaius resumed talking about his imminent trip home to Volsinii. "As you know," he announced, "Ive so far tried to keep the fact that Ive adopted Achilleus and Tyanus as my sons secret from my parents. Ive been reluctant to tell them because they might misjudge my motives. I think theyre already suspicious about my sexuality, with me having young Hylas here as a servant and not yet accepting any of their suggestions for a wife. They must also be wondering about the speed in which Ive spent the allowances theyve sent me since I returned to Rome from my tour of the east. Theyre aware that Ive acquired a new and more costly place to live but not that Ive bought two new slaves, namely Selene and Endymion, to help run my home and look after the boys." You may, dear patient reader of my autobiography, wonder what Gaius did productively with his life, given that he had no formal job and instead lived off a very generous allowance granted by his rich equestrian parents, which enabled him to have three slaves to perform routine chores. In fact, at this moment, much of my beloveds time was taken up in researching religion and philosophy, as well as formulating his own embryonic thoughts on the subjects. Gaius investigated the religions and philosophies of Greece and Rome, including some of the obscurest and weirdest, as well as those of other peoples. For example, my beloved studied the Jewish faith and outlook on life, plus similar aspects of the cultures of some now defunct nations, such as those of the ancient Egyptians, Assyrians, Babylonians, Persians and Carthaginians. As I narrate my autobiography, over half a century after the events that I am currently describing, to my patient scribe, who is actually related to one of the characters now prominent in my saga, I still sincerely believe the forecast of a certain old soothsayer on the Vatican Hill, made over 5 years previously. She suggested that, if Gaius was never deflected from his chosen career path, his lifetime efforts would transform into a great legacy. This benefaction to later generations would allow him eventually to be considered as, using her own words, one of the worlds greatest philosophers, someone whose work would sometime lead to the salvation of mankind. "I therefore believe," my beloved Gaius continued in reference to his imminent and probably problematical meeting with his father and mother, "that Ill have to make a few confessions to my parents when I return to Volsinii, not about my sexual preferences but everything else. I just hope that theyre in an understanding mood when I finally do so, and dont try to impose a wife on me in retaliation!" Later, before Gaius had left for Volsinii and I went with the Emperor to Baiae, I made a suggestion to my beloved about how he could make his various confessions more bearable to his parents. I did so after hearing about how Apollinus was spending the summer. (Imperial latifundium, Campania, Italia, same time) Let each man pass his days in that wherein his skill is greatest. - Propertius Sextus "My bum hurts!" Nero commented to Suffuscus. "Well," the older boy retorted, "What do you expect after spending most of the day in the saddle?" "Im beginning to feel sorry that you persuaded me to ride a horse again," Nero groaned, "after so long a gap. Ive become accustomed instead to travelling on soft cushions in coaches or litters!" "But theres three good reasons why reacquainting yourself with the skill will be highly beneficial," Suffuscus retorted. "First," Suffuscus suggested, "how can you become a great Roman leader without being good on horseback? Second, itll be much more convenient and faster if you can ride with me on our planned expedition to Pompeii tomorrow instead of having to travel in your slow carpentum." "I suppose youre right," Nero reluctantly conceded before asking, "and whats the third reason?" "Ill enjoy giving your bottom a massage whilst we bathe later," the mischievously smiling Suffuscus advised. (Lodgings of Persius and Quintilianus, Subura Quarter, Rome, same time) We must form our minds by reading deep rather than wide. - Quintilian Two of Romes young upper-class residents were not on holiday. Persius continued to write his poetry and tutor Caratacus five children despite the season being summer, as the three boys in the quintet had much catching up to do in order to be ready to start school in September. Although they were progressing well, their knowledge of Rome and the Latin language was still incomplete. Meanwhile, Quintilianus was still busy training as a lawyer. Local jurisprudence ironically does not take a break until the autumn months. The only chance for mutual relaxation occurred at night, when Persius and Quintilianus invariably bathed, ate out and then subsequently slept together in their shared lodgings. Making love with each other was a regular feature of their evenings but not tonight, as the pair were rather morose. The cause was not a vestige of their substantial hangovers of the previous day but one of Qs letters. The letter was from Quintilianus father, who lived in Calagurris in nothern Hispania. Q normally liked receiving news of his family and hometown but, on this occasion, shocked Persius by swearing after unrolling and beginning to read the relevant scroll. Given Quintilianus refined eloquence, no mere Latin expletive was good enough for him. Q instead conjured a Greek swear word. "Metrokoites!" Quintilianus had shouted to startle Persius, whose own Greek was good enough to appreciate that the crude expletive meant mother-fucker. In response, P naturally asked his best friend "Whats wrong?" "Fathers insisting," a grim-faced Quintilianus answered, "that I return to practise law in Calagurris after Ive completed my legal training." P immediately presumed correctly that Qs complaint would not be mainly attributable to having to conduct his new profession in a relatively obscure provincial backwater, although that was bad enough when compared to doing so in Rome. Persius instead realised that Quintilianus would be very upset at being forced to separate from P, which was an attitude shared by his best friend. Instead of lovemaking on this night, the pair therefore instead lay in each others arms on their bed and thought deeper about the problem in an attempt to formulate a plan as to how Q could avoid eventual recall to Hispania. (Banks of the River Nar, near Narnia, Umbria, Italia, same time) It is when we are in misery that we revere the gods. The prosperous seldom approach the altar. - Silius Italicus (Punica) "I suppose well have to return home," 17 year-old Marcus Cocceius Nerva reluctantly suggested to the similarly-aged Silius Italicus, at the end of their first day in the formers hometown, where they were to spend their third successive summer together on holiday. The sun was descending towards the westerly horizon and soon the valley setting they were in would be enveloped in shadows. "How do we explain our lack of fish?" Silius Italicus asked, in relation to the pastime he and his best friend were supposed to be indulging on the secluded grassy riverbank in preference to celebrating a local religious festival in one of Narnias temples. "Ill just suggest that they were reluctant to bite!" Nerva answered, as he reattached his loincloth underwear to his handsome and now sated loins, his previous nudity reflecting the actual pleasure that had repeatedly occupied his time and that of his best friend in the quiet picturesque setting. (Imperial palace, Palatine Hill, Rome, shortly afterwards) Here is a field open for talent; and here merit will a have certain favour, and industry is graced with its due reward. - Emperor Claudius Claudius was for once dining with someone else other than me or his closest friend, Aulus Plautius. The Emperor was instead hosting Athenodoros and Melankomas, whom he had summoned to Rome because he wanted to meet the young athletes who were famed throughout the ethnically Greek part of his Empire. I was present in my formal role of Imperial food-taster. Claudius had not accommodated Athenodoros and Melankomas in the palace. The Princeps had instead considerately provided them with a nearby opulent domus on the Palatine Hill, with an appropriate retinue of slaves, correctly believing that such facilities would grant the pair greater independence and informality during their holiday in Rome. The Imperial guesthouse had once been occupied by a rich patrician until he had fallen foul of the Emperor Caligula, who had therefore not only had the owner executed but also requisitioned his wealth and property. Romans had never displayed great enthusiasm for athletics, preferring the excitement of the bloodier gladiatorial games and chariot racing. However, Claudius, being a keen historian, was aware of the historical significance of the achievements of Athenodoros and Melankomas and wished to show favour towards and honour them. Athenodoros had not only been the youngest winner of the boys stade at Olympia for centuries but also followed up this achievement by winning the mens event at the next Olympiad when still only 16 years of age. He had additionally remained unbeaten in all of the other contests he had entered, including in the almost equally revered Pythian games, held at Delphi for Apollo, the Nemean, in honour of Zeus, and the Isthmian at Corinth for Poseidon, becoming an adult periodonikes in the process. The fact that the young Aigionian was of Roman lineage only added to Claudius interest. Meanwhile, Melankomas had not only successfully replaced Sarapion as Athenodoros trainer, won both the boys and mens boxing events at the Olympic games, remained unbeaten and become a periodonikes before retirement but also done so amazingly without landing a hurtful blow on an opponent. The remarkable young Carian had instead simply exhausted his rivals to the point of collapse and surrender. "I .I .understand," Claudius stuttered mischievously to his athletic guests as they all ate and drank, "that youve .b .b .been leading my y .y .young food-taster here a .a .astray!" The Emperor was speaking in Greek, out of courtesy to his guests, even though both of them were fluent in Latin. Fortunately, I could understand the conversation quite well because my beloved Gaius had introduced me to the language. Athenodoros and Melankomas immediately looked at each other, clearly unsure and worried about whether the Emperors remark was a prelude to a joke or rebuke. However, the Princeps quickly eased their minds. "Im a .a .afraid that poor B .B .Bicilus," Claudius continued, whilst now displaying a reassuring broad grin, "was s .s .suffering m .m .mightily after a .a .attending one of your G .G .Greek-style s .s .symposia." "I can assure you, Sir," Athenodoros replied, whilst now smiling too, "that the dilution of the wine was not at all in keeping with Hellenic custom!" "Ah," Claudius responded, whilst demonstrating his own comprehensive acquaintance with the Greek language and symposia rituals, "those p .p .present must .t .t .therefore have made the m .m .mistake of a .a .appointing a R .R .Roman as the s .s .symposiarch." "You are correct, Sir," Athenodoros advised, "in the form of our kind host, Petronius, who appeared to like his wine without much water." "Ah, P .P .Petronius," Claudius next commented, "I b .b .believe that hes one the tutors of both B .B .Britannicus and N .N .Nero. I think his s .s .subject is supposed to be c .c .creative w .w .writing, for w .w .which he has, I u .u .understand, great s .s .satirical t .t .talent." Claudius then glanced and smiled at me and added "Ive met P .P .Petronius a few times. He once, with others, s .s .saved me from making a h .h .huge mistake in wrongly p .p .punishing a very loyal and greatly v .v .valued servant." The Emperor was, of course, referring to the elegentiae arbiters role in rescuing me from a slave galley about 3½ years previously. I smiled back at my Imperial master. Athenodoros later told me that the sudden simultaneous blush on my face gave away the identity of the very loyal and greatly valued servant. "How were you i .i .introduced to P .P .Petronius?" Claudius went on to ask of his guests. "Through Gaius Musonius Rufus," Melankomas now answered, "whom we met in Greece whilst he was touring the east and looked up immediately on our arrival in Rome." "Ah, Gaius M .M .Musonius R .R .Rufus," Claudius remarked, whilst again smilingly glancing at me, "is s .s .someone else of whom Im aware. He also played a m m .major role in saving the loyal and v .v .valued servant." "Hes also someone of whom Im very e .e .envious," the Emperor then kindly confessed, whilst in the process increasing the redness on my face, "as Im rather j .j .jealous that hes m .m .managed to find someone t .t .truly worthy to love!" (Domus of Axenius, Quirinal Hill, Rome, same time) Bonum virum facile crederes, magnum libenter. (You might believe a good man easily, a great man with pleasure. - Tacitus (Agricola) "Ill personally escort you back to Forum Julii at the end of your holiday in Rome," 22 year-old Axenius informed Agricola, who was a decade younger. "Thats not really necessary, Sir," replied the boy, who had politely called in on his host in the domus study, or tablinum, to say goodnight on his way to bed, "as my personal slave is efficient and provides me with sufficient help and protection." "Im not denigrating the efficiency of your slave," the smiling Axenius responded without effrontery, "but Ill be coincidentally travelling in the direction of Forum Julii at that time anyway." "Oh, why would you be doing that?" Agricola asked with genuine interest. "My friend, Gaius Plinius Secundus, has been recalled to his legion in Germania," Axenius answered, "and I propose to go with him to revisit and holiday in my homeland. Going via Forum Julii is as good as any route!" "Are Anacletus, Axenia and Arius going with you, Sir?" Agricola then enquired, whilst referring to his hosts twin siblings and adopted son. "No," Axenius replied, "as both the journey and Germania can be dangerous, and anyway thered be too much disruption to their education if they came with me." "Wholl then be responsible for their welfare back in Rome, Sir?" Agricola next asked. "My other friend," Axenius advised, "Gaius Musonius Rufus, has kindly agreed to accept the duty and temporarily move with his own sons and slaves into my larger domus in order to do so!" "I feel rather envious, Sir," Agricola remarked. "Of what?" Axenius enquired. "Although I have friends in both my hometown of Forum Julii and in Massilia, where I attend school," Agricola remarked, "actually living in the same house with not only Anacletus, Axenia and Arius but also Achilleus, Tyanus and Hylas would be wonderful!" The affable boy was, of course, referring to the six close playmates he had quickly acquired since his recent arrival in Rome, who were frequently boosted in number by Caratacus five delightful children. Axenius pondered Agricolas remark momentarily and then fatefully suggested "Then why dont stay here while you go to school in Rome rather than in Massilia? Im sure that your mother wouldnt mind as long as you were well looked after." "Theres not much difference, apart from distance," Axenius added, "in absenting home in order to attend school in Rome compared with doing so in Massilia." "Oooh, Sir," a suddenly excited Agricola asked, "do you really think that my mother would agree to the transfer?" "Believe me," Axenius answered, "as I truly think so but lets find out for sure. Ill write to her immediately!" (Imperial palace, Palatine Hill, Rome, same time) To do no evil is good, to intend none better. - Emperor Claudius "My wife," Claudius advised Athenodoros and Melankomas, whilst referring to his absent Empress, Agrippina, "is looking for a new g .g .gymnastics i .i .instructor for her son, N .N .Nero. Apparently, the p .p .previous i .i .incumbent of the post had an u .u .unfortunate evil p .p .penchant for h ..h .handsome boys, which is a rather unwise t t trait for someone in such a p .p .position." "He tried to r r rape, Claudius informed, "the son of one of my f .f .friends. Agrippina had the man c .c castrated and e .e .enslaved for such i .i .impertinence. Could you r .r .recommend a replacement, as my wife likes only the best for her N .N .Nero?" Athendoros and Melakomas looked at each other and then uttered the same name simultaneously, which they subsequently shared with Claudius. The Emperor immediately accepted their recommendation and agreed to issue the relevant job invitation to the person concerned. Athendoros had replied to Claudius enquiry by advising "I believe that my own former coach, Sarapion, himself an Olympic winner, would love to come with his family to see and work for a bit in Rome!" (Ostia, same time) Dimly, as through a thick fog, I caught sight of Giton standing at the corner of an alley and I raced over .At last I was free to make love to Giton without restraint and, wrapping the boy in the closest of embraces, I took my fill of a bliss even happy lovers might envy. Nor had I done when Ascylos stole to the door and, springing the bolt, caught us at leapfrog! - Encolpius in Petronius Satyricon Cornutus and his eunuch paramour, Servius, comprised another pair of lovers who had now thankfully recovered from the hangovers created by their attendance at Petronius symposium. They were currently dining in a quayside tavern in Ostia, which had become Romes main port, especially after the completion of most of the harbour improvements commissioned by Emperor Claudius to protect the import of the Imperial capitals vital grain supplies. Cornutus and Servius were also staying overnight in the tavern, whilst in the morning they would be embarking upon a ship bound for Rhodes. However, they were not travelling specifically to see the ruins of the local Colossus or the islands famed flora. They were instead going to spend the summer with the 23 year-old eunuchs adoptive parents, who were also the natural father and mother of Apollinus and Helius. Axenius had sent the parents back to their ancestral homeland to run a small farm and vineyard bought deliberately for him there for the purpose by the visiting and thoughtful Gaius. However, as Cornutus and Servius dined, their topic of conversation did not currently relate to their imminent trip. The pair instead talked about an embryonic satirical work of fiction, which, at Petronius symposium, the host had advised that he had started. "Im naming two of my characters after Encolpius and Giton," Petronius had informed, "although the fictional personages will bear little relation to my two lovely slaves. I just thought that doing so would help preserve their names for posterity!" (Imperial palace, Palatine Hill, Rome, same time) [Agrippina] holds her dignity, her modesty, her body, everything, cheaper than a throne . - Tacitus 37 year-old Agrippina was absent from her sexagenarian husbands cena with the famed Athenodoros and Melankomas because of two reasons. Firstly, Agrippina preferred sex to Claudius stuttering conversation and she was enjoying a private evening with her latest lover, Faenius Rufus. The latter was over a decade younger than the Empress and was currently enjoying coitus with her for the second time on this night. In order to prevent unwanted pregnancy, the Augusta was using the most common female contraceptive, namely wool, anointed with oils, resins, vinegar, minerals and honey, inserted into her vagina. Secondly, Agrippina had no interest whatsoever in Greek athletics and therefore no personal regard for Athenodoros and Melankomas. However, the Empress did appreciate that her son, Nero, had a burgeoning liking for Hellenic culture and she consequently had already arranged for the famed pair to meet the Princeps Iuventatis. The meeting between Nero and the two athletes would subsequently have considerable repercussions for me. (Domus of Gaius Musonius Rufus parents, near Volsinii Novae, Etruria, Italia, 1 week later) The Spartan women were good judges of manhood. A foreign lady once remarked to the wife of a Spartan commander that the women of Sparta were the only women in the world who could rule men. "We are the only women who raise men," the Spartan lady replied . - Plutarch (Lycurgus) Gaius home city, on Lake Volsiniensis, was actually called Volsinii Novae [new Volsinii] because the original, inhabited by Etruscans and called Velzna in their language, was situated further northeast on a tributary of the River Tiber. The metropolis had been destroyed by the Romans about three centuries before my beloveds birth and the surviving inhabitants had been relocated. In my time, many of the citizens of Volsinii Novae remain proud of their Etruscan ancestry. They also still possess a generally joking disdain for Romans, despite accepting their suzerainty and adopting most of their customs and lifestyle fashions. Gaius paternal ancestors were Roman colonists. However, he was accepted locally by those of Etruscan descent as one of their own because his formidable mother emanated from one of the most ancient of the local Etrurian clans. Maternal pride now encouraged his redoubtable mother to look at her son with a degree of disdain. Gaius had arrived at the luxurious lakeside family villa not only with his young and very pretty slave, 10 year-old Hylas, but also two other highly attractive boys and found his parents sitting and drinking some watered wine in the residences huge garden. The beautiful and peaceful setting was full of raised paths, greenery, colourful flowerbeds, narrow streams, ponds, fountains, the noise of splashing water, shadowy porticoes and fragrant arbours. Gaius now discovered that he did not have to confess to his parents that he lived in Rome with not only Hylas but also two other young slaves and a pair of adopted sons. The fact that my beloveds mother and father were somehow already aware of his domestic arrangements back in the Imperial capital quickly became apparent, although they had obviously misinterpreted the situation. Gaius formidable mother was as usual the dominant parental contributor to any conversation, having been likened by many to be a typical matriarch of Sparta rather than Etruria. She now commented, in relation to the two other boys accompanying her son and Hylas and with clear distaste, "I suppose these are the catamites with whom Ive heard you live in Rome. How you can disgrace your family further by bringing them here with you is beyond me!" The yet-to-be-introduced young boys concerned, neatly attired for the occasion in purple-edged toga praetexta, were at first astonished to hear the maternal remark and blushed. However, after subsequently glancing at each other, they then began to giggle. Meanwhile Gaius mother looked at them with even greater disgust, whilst awaiting her sons grovelling apologies for bringing supposed catamites named Achilleus and Tyanus with him. Gaius later told me that he did not know how he had now maintained a straight face whilst he answered his mothers reproach, in the process causing her to drop her wine goblet. My beloveds handsome face instead only displayed a grin after he had introduced the boys, who were the centre of maternal abhorrence. "Actually, mother," Gaius advised the poor woman, "these young gentleman dont live with me in Rome. They instead reside with more important personages." "Mother and father, may I introduce," Gaius continued, "Titus Flavius Vespasianus, who is the son of the famed general and recent Consul of Rome." My beloveds parents were well aware, as a result of the regular gossip received in Volsinii about affairs in Rome, that the named child before them was the best friend of a certain very important boy. Given earlier contemptuous maternal comments, they therefore looked at the as yet unannounced second young guest with considerable trepidation. Gaius mother was already feeling faint when my beloved then added the coup de grâce when he introduced the second boy by saying "And Tiberius Claudius Britannicus, who is the son of the Emperor of Rome!" The sound of the maternal goblet of wine clattering on the paving beneath the womans feet subsequently reverberated around the opulent garden. (To be continued in chapter LII Visits)
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