My name is Roger and I live with my father, Bill, my sister Betty, and my mom. We are a close family. My sister and I have always been close, much closer than brothers and sisters usually are. Growing up we would always play together, tell each other our secrets, and share our experiences. Betty is two years younger than I am, which is great because girls mature faster than boys- but I get ahead of myself.

When I was about six, I realized that boys and girls were different.

Here's what happened. One day I had a been playing outside and having such a great time that I didn't want to stop to pee. It got so bad that I ran into my house and rushed into the bathroom without knocking. My sister had just finished on the toilet and was wiping herself dry. She got mad and told me that I shouldn't have come in without knocking. She may have been right, but I had never thought that girls were built differently from boys.

Frankly, the whole concept just never occurred to me. Although I left quickly, I couldn't stop wondering what had happened to her penis. Had somebody cut it off? Did she lose it in a accident? I had to wait until the next day to find out.

After school, she came to my room to play. I asked here what had happened to her and she didn't understand what I was talking about. I pulled down my pants and showed her. She never realized that boys had penises and got really curious. One thing led to another, she touched mine, I touched hers, and that's where it stayed until that evening.

I was excited with this new discovery, and when my father came home I had to tell him. He got really upset. He told me never to touch my sister again, never to look under her pants. Of course, telling a child not to do something is the best way to get him to do it, and so the first chance we got we looked again, felt again, and wondered about the differences and why our father was so upset. The only thing we did was laugh about it, but whenever we could we would watch each other pee. My sister liked my “hose” as she called it, and said she wished she had one too. Of course, children get bored with anything and after a while we didn't even think about it.

That is until later. Things started when I was sixteen and she was fourteen. I had discovered some “dirty pictures” my father had hidden.

It showed people having sex. I was amazed at this. The boys had talked about it, but I only had a vague notion of what sex was. How do you know which is her pussy and which is her ass? I know, that sounds really dumb, but it shows how very little I knew.

I stole one of the pictures and showed it to my friends. They were as fascinated as I was. After school, my friend, Alice, asked if she could see the picture. I was totally embarrassed. She insisted. Walking home from school, we stopped in the park and I showed it to her. Like me, her friends had talked about sex, but also like me, she had no real idea of what it was. While she was looking at the picture, I was looking at her and wondering if she looked like the ladies in the photo. I wasn't even thinking, but my dick got hard as a rock. She noticed it and laughed at me. I was humiliated and went straight home.

The next day I was saw her after school. I tired hard to not see her, but she was determined. This time I made sure to cross my legs when she viewed my prize pic. Later that day, she called me and asked if we could do homework together. That was strange, as we had never worked together, and frankly I was still embarrassed by the erection she had seen in my jeans. She insisted and later that afternoon I went to her home. She told me that her books were in the basement and that we could study there. She had something else in mind.

When we got downstairs she said that she would let me see hers if she could see mine. My extreme shyness was overwhelmed by my even more overwhelming curiosity. Did she have hair like the lady in the picture, or was she the bald way I remembered seeing my sister those years back? Blushing I took down my pants. She seemed really interested and took my hard penis in her hand to look at it. Then I learned the meaning of humiliation- I came all over her. We were both shocked and she seemed unhappy having my sticky goo on her hands. I zipped up my pants and found an excuse to leave.

Curiosity, curiosity. When I got home I realized that while she had seen me, I hadn't seen her. Fair is fair. The next afternoon we had another study session and I touched her. It was a truly amazing experience. I wanted her to feel as silly as I had, but couldn't figure out a way to get her to shoot out milk the way I had. After a few minutes of touching her, I gave up. Frankly, I thought my fingers smelled really bad and washed my hands.

We should have left well enough alone, but of course we couldn't. For the third day in a row we “studied” in her basement. But this time we decided to try doing what the couple in the picture was doing. Neither one of us had the slightest clue as to the meaning of all this. Thinking back, I realize that she must have been very excited because my penis went into her right away. It felt great!! In about five seconds I ejaculated and got soft. Of course a sixteen-year-old who has never had sex before is not stopped by one ejaculation.

I wanted to do it again and so did she. This time it took me a few minutes to orgasm, but if anything more semen erupted than the first time. We were both happy and a bit tired, and we laughed at how funny that white stuff looked dripping out of her. We did this every chance we could. There was only one problem. My sister.

As I said, we had always been best friends and she couldn't understand why I was spending so much time at Alice's house. I told her it was none of her business, but she bugged me so much that I showed her the picture and told her that Alice and I had done the same thing as the people in the pictures, that it was great, and she should leave me alone.

Wrong thing to tell her. She and I had the idea at about the same time.

We couldn't do anything about it right then, she made me promise to visit her bedroom late that night and show her. I thought, why not. I liked it and so did Alice. That night I went to her room and the same thing happened. She touched my penis and it erupted. This time I was ready for it and all the stuff went on my leg. She giggled and asked me to do it again. I told her that if I put it inside her, I could. Sex with my sister, Betty, was better than with Alice. Of course it was harder to do it as we were both afraid of our father.

Bill was a stern man. He typified the “spare the rod, spoil the child” approach to parenting. We were both scared shitless of him. Although we didn't know why, we both knew that he would beat the crap out of us if he caught us. We were able to do it two more times. It was hard to arrange, but we did.

Then it happened. Alice's father called. Alice was pregnant, and I was responsible. Father was furious. After he gave me the caning of my life he grounded me- permanently. I could go from my home to school and back.

Period. And period was the problem. Or should I say no period was the problem. My sister's no period. After what happened to Alice, we both know what it meant. We also both thought, stupid children that we were, that it would go away. Naturally, it didn't.

I was sure that my father was going to kill me and decided that it was time to run away from home. I didn't know where to go, but I knew that I didn't know- and didn't want to know, what my father would do to me. My mother was a kind woman, but she always backed my father in discipline issues, and I knew that there was no help there. So, I ran away. I stayed with my friend Mike and felt safe. How stupid youth is. The next day not only had my father found out about my sister, he found me.

He took me home and was so furious I thought he was going to have a heart attack. How could I do that to my own sister? Didn't I know that was absolutely the worst thing anybody could ever do? Hadn't I learned my lesson from Alice? What kind of dirty monster did he have for a son?

Did I plan to screw my daughter who would also be my niece? This and worse went on for two weeks. He was sure that I was a totally perverted monster and that he had to do something drastic. Had to punish me. Had to make me suffer as I had made him (and Alice's father) suffer. Soon was I to learn what he punishment he considered matched the crime.

One evening, without any explanation, he told me we were going out to visit Uncle Niel. Why he wanted me to visit my uncle seemed strange, but I didn't dare say a word.

We arrived at Uncle Neil's house about nine that night. I knew that he had told my uncle what had happened because Uncle totally lost it when he saw me. Incestuous monster was the kindest phrase he yelled at me. “Maybe you want to fuck my daughter too? How about my wife you filthy piece of trash? Let's 'talk' about this in the back. As a vet, I know how to deal with oversexed animals like you.”

I had no idea where this was leading. He and my father took me to the area where uncle treated animals. I got truly scared, I thought they were going to put me to sleep! I ran for the door, but they caught me threw me on to a long table. My father, I realized, had told Uncle Neil to get things ready to “put me out of my pain.” I became hysterical. They held me securely on that that table. I don't know how they managed it, but soon they had each leg tied securely to the legs of the table. Each wrist was also tied the same way. I was spread-eagled and helpless. I began to pray.

Something totally unexpected happened. My father grabbed a scissors and used them to cut my pants off. Now I was not only sure of death, but humiliated. I was lying there, naked from the waist down, being stared at by my own father and his brother. Yet, I still had no idea when I was going to die.

My father seemed a bit calmer. In a clam mocking tone he asked me if I enjoyed sticking my dick into my own sister. Of pumping her until I came. And more. As scared I was, thinking about it got me excited again and my dick got hard as a rock. That was more than either of the brothers could take.

“You liked playing hid the salami with my daughter. Let's see if you like this as well.” I knew he was going to hit me, but I never expected what was going to happened. He grabbed my cock with his left hand and hit me full force with his right fist- in my balls. I had never felt pain like that before. I had never even thought that this much pain was possible. Sure I had played around with them, but THIS! I wanted to double up and vomit. The first was impossible, the second I did. That made uncle mad as hell and he hit me a second time. I could tell that my father was getting all the anger he had out of himself. Of course, that thought was of no help at all.

He kept hitting my balls screaming, “You dirty pervert. How does it feel? You can't control your balls, but I can.” This went on for about an hour, and still I was waiting for them to inject me with rat poison, or something. But they got tired and sat down. All I could do was whimper.

“Enough fooling around,” Father said. “You do filthy things with your nuts, you don't deserve to have them.” At that point I saw him take out a scalpel. My dear uncle, the vet, had turned into a sadistic monster. He put a mirror over my head and told me to watch what he was going to do to me.

Saying this he reached down and grabbed my nut sac. I watched as he brought the scalpel toward it- much slower than he had to. Slow, in fact, was the word of the day. He made a cut in the middle of the scrotum. Every time he saw some bleeding, he used an electric cautery to seal it. I tried to buck, to get away from the horrible torture, but was too tightly bound to move. I couldn't believe that my father had decided to punish me by having Uncle cut a slit in my sac. I was too stupid to see what was really happening. Uncle reached in my scrotum and pulled out my right nut. It hurt even worse than the beating. The nut was torn off it attachments and laid on my thigh. Then the same thing happened to my left nut. I watched in the mirror as my balls were taken out. Then Uncle Mike took off the tissue that surrounded each one. Twice I thought I had felt the worst pain possible. Twice I was wrong. I knew that when Uncle put a clamp on the cord of each ball. Then he put a second one on above the first. I was still too stupid to know what to expect. I thought they were giving me horrible pain to teach me a lesson.

And then I saw the scissors snip the left ball off. I couldn't believe it. Then just as I was accepting the loss of one nut, the other came off. My father was really pleased with himself. “You disgusting pervert. You've fucked for the last time. You don't deserve to have balls, and now you don't. Be happy I decided to leave your dick on, but if you ever even think about your sister we are going to visit Uncle Niel again, and off it comes. I suggest that you not mention the disgusting things you did to anybody at all. It would bring shame to the whole family. You have all summer to recover, but you'll need a lot longer than that if you tell anybody and we have to cut off you filthy cock.”

They sewed my sac and took me home. I had to stay in bed over a week.

My mother nursed me back to health. Betty came to visit a few times, but cried so hard she couldn't stay. At any rate, she had just had an abortion and wasn't feeling one hundred percent either. My mother told me that I was to explain that I had had a bicycle accident and my testicles were so badly crushed they had to be removed. If I told the truth, that as a perverted monster I had to be castrated, I would get in big trouble.

And that was the story I told. Life at home was never the same. Everybody was distant. Ever defiant, I masturbated as often as I could. It was a bloody mess in the beginning. After a month, I could only shot a few drops, a little later the cum was dry, and soon after that I couldn't orgasm at all. After six months I couldn't get hard. My father had known what he was doing. By my senior year I didn't even think about sex. Sure I dated, but it was only because the kids were calling me a homo because I didn't have a girlfriend. I told the girls I dated I had too much respect for them to even think of sex.

Things changed when I went away to college. My roommate was a pre-med student and walked in on me when I was changing my clothes. Embarrassed, I told him about the “bike accident.” He made me go to the doctor. I got an injection of testosterone every month but nothing changed. Then, after six months, I woke up with a woody. The next month I jerked off and came. Now, I am dating three very beautiful girls. They love having sex with me. They know they can't get pregnant and find the idea of sex with a ball-less man exciting. I also have some male friends with whom I fool around. They are fascinated by my smooth sac.

I have finally come to realize that my father was right. I would have done the same thing if the positions were reversed. In fact, I'm sorry that he he didn't castrate me before all this happened. I'm still a bit distant from my parents but both Alice and Betty are now married and I have contact (social only) with them. I only blame my father for one thing- he should have used anesthesia.