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I hold Samuel and rub his back. After 10 minutes I feel this testicles, hard as a rock, he doesnt react. When he throws up on my chest I ignore it. I hold him and comfort him. He is my son I love him so much. ------------------------- As I write my story I feel like crying. I dont believe in luck. Life is what you make it nothing more and nothing less. I cant stand people who abuse power they are almost as bad as those who allow themselves to become professional victims because of what happened to a distant relative. Worst are those who abuse power on the backs of the victims they profess to protect. But, god I am lucky. I am glad this story is for my family and will never see print. I know you are wondering about Jonathan, Kenneth and Patrick. Well, Jonathan and Kenneth are those angelic boy voices you hear in the group The Unique Queers, although its pronounced differently. Patricks voice didnt develop like he wanted so at 17 he began HRT. His is the not quite boy, not quite man voice that provides such a beautiful counter point to Kenneth and Jonathan. After 20 years as the top-recording artists in the world the tabloids are constantly hounding them. It hasnt escaped attention that Jonathan and Kenneth are never seen with girls although they could have their pick. The tabloids assume its because they are gay partners, an impression neither has contradicted. Patrick is often asked about the origin of the name Unique Queers. He just smiles and says Oh thats just some silly from our childhood. Then he laughs with a twinkle in his eyes. Chocolate still wouldnt melt. My three youngest are named after the boys, Samuel is named after his great grandfather. Ken is doing well. Sue kept the baby, the cutest little girl in the world. A year later they married. I wasnt sure it would work but Im happy I was wrong. He received an inheritance from an unknown relative. Tho independently wealthy he still maintains his small bungalow and works 3 days a week. His family is the light of his life. The favor for Ken was the development of a new technique for men who have lost testicles to land mines. It will never be very popular because it requires someone relatively young to donate a testicle. A small amount of Kens bone marrow was used to provide the genetic materials, which were combined with Leydig cells taken from the donated testicle using technical magic I dont understand. Ken now has three additional children. Two days before his 12 Th. birthday my youngest boy Kenneth made an appointment to meet me in my office. This time I had an idea what the subject might be. He walked in dressed in an immaculately tailored pin stripe. He hadnt had one so that startled me, he has obviously gone to a lot of trouble and he had clearly had some long talks with Samuel. He sat and said Dad its time for me to be castrated. I can see you have done your homework. You are young and I want to be sure its what you want. So why dont you lay it out I expected you to ask, he said. There are some things I dont understand yet. I do know that up here He says as he taps his head I have been a eunuch for several years. His face is serious. Have you thought about children, I ask you arent old enough to store sperm for the future. Thats covered. I talked with Jonathan. He will store sperm for me if he chooses castration. He relaxes as I ask, sounds like you have thought this through. Do you know why you want it. You know thats the funny thing, I really dont. Its just what I am. I think I am straight. I also know I dont have the answer to that gay / straight question and I need be older before I will really know. Its not like being a eunuch, I just know thats what I am. You talked to Samuel. Long talks. He talked to me before he made his decision. And thats helped me understand at a personal level. I also talked to Patrick, oh I mean your Patrick. You want it before puberty? Yes, I dont want the sexual development that would just make me a castrated boy. If its done now then I will be a natural eunuch. Do you know how you want it done? I want it done surgically. I want to donate the testicles to the sperm restoration program. I know what you did for Ken. My contribution will help others. Id like you to do the surgery. Do you mind if we wait a week before making the decision final? Kenneth climbs into my lap. Of course not, If you hadnt asked I would have. I wont change my mind and you need the time before you are ready Remember what I said about the 12-year-old mind and chocolate. ----------------------------- The room is cool but Kenneth has just stepped out of a hot shower. He arches his back, his scrotum hangs loose and he says, Im ready. Hoping on the table he places his feet in the stirrups. We cover his upper body with blankets to keep him warm. Kenneth adjusts the head rest so he can see and says with a smile Hey dad whats the hold up lets get this show on the road. I use a topical anesthetic on the scrotum to provide light control of pain. Because the testicles will be donated we will not be allowed to use anesthetic on the testicles or cord. Kenneth asks that I describe the procedure as I proceed. I begin my narrative. I use the mid-line approach with an incision to the left and right of the raphe or ridge which shows where the scrotum is divided into left and right halves by the septum. Kenneth watches in fascination. Beginning on the left side I use a scalpel to make the initial cut just to the left of the ridge and then a pair of iris scissors to expand the incision to about 3/4 of an inch. The slight crushing action of the scissors reduces bleeding as the skin of the scrotum is cut. Kenneth laughs. Can I see inside yet. What do I look like in there? I push the scrotum up gently as I work the testicle toward the incision. Working gently I cut the tissue that holds the testicle in the scrotum. After about 15 minutes the testicle is delivered through the incision. Kenneth smiles and says Awwsooome. Every boy should have the opportunity to see his testicles in his fathers hands. Since Kenneth is young there is not much length to the cords. I use a surgical steel hook with a blunt end. Placing the end of the hook through the incision along side the cord I work the tip into the inguinal cannel. Using the hook I pull the scrotum up to expose more of the cord. Carefully using a tiny pair of iris scissors and scalpel I open the Facia covering the testicle and cord. When the testicle is exposed. Kenneth says KEWL so thats what I look like. The testicle is white can I see as he moves his hand toward the testicle. In a moment, I nod to my assistant who washes Kenneth's hands in disinfectant and helps put surgical gloves on. I continue opening the facia up the length of the cord exposing about 3 inches of red and white vessels connecting to the testicle. Carefully I place it in Kenneths gloved hand. Gently he squeezes it. Umph, I shouldnt have done that. Its more sensitive than I expected. The assistant pulls a magnifying lens down so Kenneth can see better. Thank you he says I can see the Epididyms there and that white tube is the Vas its bigger than I expected. Those red ones are the blood vessels, I cant tell which are the arteries and veins. And the nerves would be here touching his gloved finger. Ouch, I shouldnt have done that either. OK dad you can finish now. Carefully I tie the vessels as high up as I can. When I tighten the suture it causes pain. Kenneth looks in my eyes and smiles. Pray continue. Once the suture is in place I cut the vessels and place the testicle in the special container marked KENNETH LEFT. Half done Kenneth says as I trim the excess facia and suture it closed. ----------------------- I need to tell you about Lee. You wont find this information anywhere, his privacy is that important. While we were cleaning up the boys I got to know Lee quite well. Looking back I now know thats exceedingly unusual. Lee doesnt let many people in. As I talked to him I got the impression of genius. Later when I had a chance I did a little snooping and that took some effort. Lees normal school records were missing though I did determine his IQ was 300 something. That was the favor for Lee. Medical research school and placement and funding at one of the most prestigious medical institutions. The cures for lung cancer, herpes, and SAIDS all came from his lab. The SAIDS cure was the most outstanding. After 20 years with no solution for AIDS the virus mutated, Super AIDS. The new strain was highly virulent and deadly resistant to all the suppressants that had been effective with AIDS. Lees approach was novel and highly controversial. None of the medical community would support the solution saying a cure wasnt possible and the only solution was a vaccine. Lee would not be stopped and in less than 9 months he had a cure for both SAIDS and AIDS. Ken dropped by for an appointment today. I meet him often, tho it turned out this meeting was different. When Ken came in, both he and Peter, his son were dressed in pin-stripe suits. TO BE CONTINUED