Tynians Attack - Bad Day at the Office

I remember it happened right before 10:00 am, because I was just getting ready to go on break. I was finishing an interplanetary communication when the lights flickered and the computer went dead. Seconds later, the whole building rumbled like there was an earthquake and everyone started talking at once. But it was no earthquake.

When the battle sirens went off, everyone in the office shut up and reached into their bottom drawers where the blasters were kept. The Tynians were attacking.

“Ok, we’ve practiced this a hundred times. You all know the drill,” said Clark, our section manager. He looked ridiculous holding a blaster with his business suit and manicured fingernails. “Don’t give those bitches a chance, even if they surrender. You know they’ve got the gamete ray guns now, and they’re using them.”

The Tynians were actually a former colony of ours once upon a time, and a successful one at that. Then came the women’s revolt 60 years ago. Nobody knows how they got their weapons or became organized, but a large group of militant women took over and enslaved the entire male population of Tynia.

Now we could hear the sound of blasters being fired below us, and both men and women crying out in agony. Shit, it was really going down!

“They’re in the building!” shouted Clark. “Get ready!”

We all scattered to any cover we could find. Some knelt behind desks while others stood around corners. There were two doorways leading into the office, and all ten blasters were aimed at either one or the other.

A yellow beam of light suddenly came up through the floor in the middle of the room, traveling slowly to the right about five feet before it disappeared.

“Oh, SHIT!” muttered Gary. “They’re taking pot shots at us with the gamete rays!”

The gamete rays were tuned to resonate with human DNA with exactly half the number of chromosomes. In other words, sex cells. When the high energy ray hits an organ with a high concentration of sex cells, such as the testicles, the heat builds up quickly and destructively causing them to cook from the inside out. A microwave for the balls. Sick shit. Leave it to the Tynians to invent a castration gun. Of course, with only one egg maturing at a time, the only effect of the weapon on their bodies was to miss the next period.

The yellow ray came through the floor again, this time about 10 feet to my right. It tracked towards the back of the room, just missing Floyd as he jumped out of its way. Another yellow ray popped up towards the front of the room. There were two of them.

Two Tynians leaned into the first doorway, and fired their blasters. Simultaneously, two blaster shots came from the other doorway. I heard the sizzling sound of vaporizing flesh on both sides of the room, and knew that several of us were hit.

By the time we all fired our blasters, the Tynians had ducked back behind the walls. Now it was full battle with the Tynians popping out through the doorways, blasters firing in both directions, and those yellow beams shining randomly up through the floor in search patterns.

Suddenly, amidst the blaster battle, two yellow beams came up on both sides of Clark. They crossed inwards, shining right through his torso harmlessly as he managed to keep his groin out of their path by diving over the table.

“Those bitches outside are radioing in our positions!” shouted Floyd from the back. “We’ve got to take them out now!”

But we were a bunch of hourly employees, not an organized platoon. Nobody knew how to start the charge, or who would run and who would cover. Nobody came out from behind their cover with deadly blaster fire everywhere.

One of the Tynians got her head blasted to bits. Another lost her shoulder. But we were taking casualties as well. There sure as hell weren’t ten blasters firing back at the doorways anymore. More like six.

Then the yellow beams came up under Rudy. The poor guy didn’t stand a chance – one of the beams came right up underneath him, straight up from his toes through the top of his right shoulder. He let out a hoarse shriek, dropped his blaster, and fell to the floor clutching his groin.

I ducked down below my desk, trying not to panic. There was nowhere to go, and it was only a matter of time before I either got destroyed by a blaster or castrated by the gamete rays.

I decided to make a run for the meeting room. It had an elevator that we used to send equipment up to the repair lab; I could go up and try to hide somewhere. I stood up, fired my blaster at the doorway, and took off running. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, and I expected to feel my back dissolve at any moment.

But I made it. I slammed the door, locked it, and ran to the open elevator and pressed the buttons in a frenzy. I knew I had abandoned my fellow workers, but it was a battle we couldn’t win. At least maybe I could live through the day intact until reinforcements could arrive. When I got to the repair lab, I ran to the closet. No, that would be the first place they’d look. Instead, I chose a small cabinet under the workbench and waited for the worst…

By 2:00 pm, I had to piss so bad I risked climbing out of the cabinet. There were no battle sounds, and the elevator was still sitting open at lab level. It had gone quiet hours ago, and nobody had come up to persue me. How lucky was that?

I pissed into the sink, thankful to relieve my bladder at last. Then, I logged into the lab computer to find our status. The attack had been repelled, and the Tynians were now contained to the South end of the city. It was over!

Taking the elevator back down to the meeting room, I never expected to see Clark, Floyd, Rudy, and Philip. They all turned as the doors opened, and I stood there staring back at them not knowing what to say.

“Well, well; if it isn’t our office chicken shit,” said Clark. “Do come in, we were wondering when you’d show your coward face again.”

“Rudy,” I said, “how-“

“How do you THINK he fucking is?” Clark cut me off. “His fucking balls got nuked.”

“Holy fuck!” I muttered.

“And Philip got hit too.”

I looked at Philip, whose eyes were still glazed over with pain. The rest of them were glaring at me.

“Look, I didn’t think-“

“You didn’t think we’d survive to fuckin look you in the eyes?” said Clark. “Well, we did. No thanks to you.”

“What do you want to do with him?” asked Floyd.

“We can report him as a deserter and have him court martialed,” said Clark. “They’ll execute his ass.”

“No, please!” I said, feeling my world disappearing beneath me.

“Or we could…” Clark looked over at Rudy.

“Get his pants off,” said Floyd. “I’ll get it.”

I knew what they were getting, and I pleaded and even cried pitifully, but they had me strip down naked and sit down on the conference table. Rudy and Philip were staring right at my groin with anger in their eyes.

“Spread your legs wide,” said Clark. “The ray goes right through flesh and bone anyway, so they’re not protecting you. Let’s see what you got.”

I did as he asked, embarrassed at how small my dick had shriveled with my fear. My balls were draped onto the tabletop, proud and plump. I had big balls, and they looked even bigger beneath my shrunken penis.

“Those are some big fucking balls,” said Clark, “I’ll bet your wife loves to lick those baby makers.”

“Please, Clark, I-“

“Shut the fuck up! You’re lucky we don’t take a blaster to your crotch right now.”

“Got em,” said Floyd, coming back into the room holding two wicked looking guns that had what looked like a small satellite dishes at the tips.

“Rudy, Philip; you guys are the ones who had your balls cooked by the bitches. You get to do the coward.”

Neither one could stand up; they were both still in obvious pain. Clark handed each one a gamete gun, and then stood back. “I’m going to count to three,” he said.

“Oh, GOD!” I muttered. My heart was racing a mile a minute. I thought about my wife and the wonderful blowjobs she gives. Never again would I paint her tonsils white! Never again would we make love…

“One,”

Rudy and Philip each took aim at my fat balls while Clark and Floyd held my legs apart wider. I felt my dick shrinking even more, almost retracting into my body. Even my balls started to tighten up against me, lifting up off the table as if trying to escape their fate.

“Two,”

This was going to hurt. I remembered the hoarse shriek Rudy had made, and he only got nailed by one of the beams for a few seconds. These guys were going to fry me.

“Three!”

The pale yellow beams of light came streaming from the gamete guns, the beams getting brighter where they intersected right at my balls and then dim again shining out my butt cheeks to the back of the conference room.

I felt an immediate horrible burning pain in my nuts that felt like someone had taken two red hot fire pokers and skewered them. But that was only the beginning. Rudy and Philip kept the triggers down, exposing my balls to the double strength castrating rays for as long as the weapons could supply the beam.

A shrieking voice filled the room, and I realized it was mine. The pain was absolutely unbelievable, and my body started convulsing as Clark and Floyd held my legs fast.

It was enough energy to castrate ten men, and all of it was focused on my two balls. They were cooked to the point that the pain was actually subsiding, and I knew they were ruined beyond repair. And still Rudy and Philip kept blasting them. There were two light popping sounds followed by a fizzling as my nuts burst inside their sacks to let the steam escape the cooked glands. My scrotum started to swell like a balloon, turning bright pink.

I bit down on my tongue and tasted blood, shaking my body in a frenzy of agony as my nutsack turned dark red, swelling larger than a grapefruit with the scalding steam. The burning heat was also leaking up into my lower abdomen as the cooked ball juice boiled up through the arteries and sperm ducts attached to my nuts. I could feel my intestines starting to scald.

“Holy, shit look at that!” said Clark as my scrotum grew almost as big as a volleyball and began to stretch unevenly with a rapidly growing side bulge.

“PFFFFTTTT” my sack ruptured, quickly shriveling as it released a cloud of steam. A strong odor filled the room, a nasty, bitter smell similar to boiled chicken giblets mixed with bleach water. My testes were still sizzling inside, shrunken down to less than half their original size. There was no more genetic material left to react with the beams.

The gamete rays cut off.

Clark and Floyd released my legs, and I fell over barely conscious.

“Ok, I’m going to report this motherfucker anyway,” said Clark.

“Here’s the phone,” said Philip.

As I faded to black, I hoped for a speedy execution.