Finding the Cause

Finding the Cause

by

Kortpeel

After the initial fervour of our honeymoon we settled down into a comfortable married life and I was perfectly content with the way things were going. There were surprises though. Ted had something of a weird streak when it came to sex. He had a thing about castration. He liked us to play a game where I tried to persuade him to be castrated. Obviously it was only a game. One thing I wanted for sure was for Ted to impregnate me during the next few years, several times. Still if that's what he wanted why not keep him happy? Besides the general consensus in the group of young wives that comprised my circle of friends was that it paid to indulge your husband's kink.

The hard part is to understand the kink and to know what they want. That is difficult when they don't understand it themselves.

I tried out different approaches to Ted's castration fantasy. I'd found it worked best when he was nude. To that end I'd told him that I liked him being nude and there was no need for him to be wearing clothes when we were spending an evening alone at home together. He loved it and the only downside was that his pre-come made marks on the settee. I would scold him for that and use sticking plaster to hold a piece of absorbent cotton wool over the end of his fully circumcised penis.

I would affect an attitude that Ted didn't need his balls. Without them he would be able to please me with his fingers and tongue and still do all that a good husband was supposed to do; like house-cleaning, washing and ironing. Ted would pretend to get scared and plead with me to let him keep his balls. It turned him on no end.

Then one evening I tried something different. "Ted I was speaking to a woman today who really does cut off testicles. "

"You weren't!"

"She told me that quite a few men have it done. I almost arranged an appointment for you."

Ted believed me. He looked astonished.

"The only thing that stopped me was that we haven't had any kids yet. Would it bother you if I had to get pregnant by someone else?"

"You're kidding me aren't you?"

"No. I'm not. I've got her card here somewhere."

I went to my handbag and fished out a calling card laminated in plastic. It said ", Brenda McFee, Body Modifications. " I knew Brenda from my job and she was into body piercing. She enjoyed talking about it and had several piercings in parts of her body that I didn't much want to see. I did believe her though. She'd shown us her navel and nipple piercings. The calling card was something that one of the secretaries had produced to tease Brenda.

Ted was awe-struck. It suddenly occurred to me that he'd fallen for it. That calling card did look real. Just to rub it in I went on "If I did have to go elsewhere for sperm I could go back to James. I'm sure he'd be willing to donate and he does have your build and colouring so it wouldn't be too bad."

James had been my first boyfriend. During our courtship I’d told Ted all my past so there were no secrets there. He'd been interested rather than jealous.

"James?"

"Yes. We often talked about having kids when I was going out with him."

"What about me?"

"Well, silly, without your balls you won't be able to get me pregnant will you?"

Ted was so excited he was practically babbling. "Er, well I, Er." He had a monstrous erection too.

"Actually Ted, we played this castration game so much I've got used to the idea. I think I'd like you without balls."

Just to help him along I cupped his scrotum in my hand and gave it a squeeze. I'd misjudged it. Ted was so excited that he promptly ejaculated into the cotton wool ball taped to the end of his willie. "Lucky you were wearing that Ted or you’d really have made a mess. That's another reason for having them off."

I finished Ted off with a few hand strokes, told him he was a naughty boy and sent him off to change his cotton wool ball.

Fifteen minutes and a cup of coffee later Ted was beginning to recover. "Does she really do castrations or were you just having me on?"

"That's what she says."

"And it's quite common?"

"Not common exactly. But she reckons two or three every month. There'd probably be more but it's all word of mouth." Of course, this was all bunkum. I was making it up as we went along.

Ted was quiet for a while. "I'd like to meet her."

"All right, Ted. If I see her again I'll invite her round."

I had a quiet word with Brenda at work next day and told her what had happened. Brenda reacted seriously. "Would you really want him to be castrated, Jane?"

"Gosh no! It's just a game with us. It turns him on. You know we decided to indulge our husbands' kinks."

"It could get too real," Brenda said. "Perhaps I should meet him."

I ought to mention that Brenda was a botanist at Phineas Pharmaceuticals where I worked. She was older than the rest of us. She had a taste for wearing long dresses which was odd because we knew from the few occasions when she wore a normal skirt there was nothing wrong with her legs. She'd been married but her husband had died. She was heavily into new age things like the power of crystals and all that. Hence her body piercings, I suppose. She was a whizz botanist and had a talent for finding new marketable drugs derived from her plants. She once told us that she had a tendency toward melancholia and not to be cross with her if she ever seemed withdrawn and cold. "Really. " she'd told us with a friendly smile, "I'm just a bit weird. Please bear with me."

That was Brenda, accepted, liked and respected by all the rest of us at Phineas.

Brenda's reaction had surprised me. It was one thing to indulge a castration fantasy but a whole different thing actually to carry it out for real. I got scared that Ted might really be headed in that direction. It was only afterwards that I got curious. Why would Brenda want to meet Ted and talk to him about his castration fantasy? What could she do about it?

Then again, although she wouldn't talk much about herself, I had no doubt that Brenda had been around in her time. Oddball things seemed to attract her interest and it was possible that at some point she had encountered a real case of castration.

Thus it was that a few evenings later Brenda turned up at our place for an evening meal. In her long dress adorned with flea market jewellery she reminded me of a gypsy fortune teller rather than the cutting edge modern scientist that I knew she was.

Brenda made all the right guest comments about what a nice house we had and how well we'd chosen our furnishings. I warmed toward her and Ted was virtually eating out of her hand. Yet I didn't resent it. I can be as jealous as any woman who sees another flirting with her man but I didn't sense Brenda as any kind of threat.

The meal I'd cooked turned out brilliantly. It was my best ever effort. I felt that I deserved Brenda's compliments. Afterward over coffee and liqueur we sat down and Brenda brought up The Topic.

"Now Ted, the reason for me being here tonight, Brenda mentioned to me that you have a castration fantasy?"

"Er yes."

Brenda was matter of fact and accepting about it. She might as well have been asking Ted if he'd had a good day.

"When did you first notice it? Or have you always had it?"

Ted had to think. "No I haven't always had it. But for quite a while now."

"Ted, can you explain to me what form the fantasy takes? And how do you indulge it?"

"There are two levels." Ted paused. "Somehow I just like the idea of being Jane's consort as a eunuch. It's sort of sexy and, well, kind of comfortable and nice."

"And the other level, Ted?"

Ted looked at me before answering. "That's the game we play. Jane pretends she'd prefer me without balls and tries to persuade me to have them off."

Brenda returned Ted's smile. "And that is a turn on for you, Ted?"

"Very much so. Especially … "

"Especially?" Brenda encouraged.

"The other night when Jane showed me your card and said you really did do castrations. She certainly had me fooled."

"So just at that instant, you really were thinking of it for real?"

Ted nodded, blushing. I noticed that this conversation was turning him on. And I was darn sure that was something Brenda couldn't fail to notice too.

"Now Ted, I want you to tell me how you started playing this game. What did you say to Jane to get it started?"

Again Ted had to think before he could tell Brenda what had started it all. "I think perhaps soon after we were married. We were having an intimate tell-all session, unloading our guilty secrets; really getting to know each other and bonding. Jane asked me about my deepest, darkest fantasies."

"I remember now. I was a bit nervous as I didn't have any deep dark fantasies. Being with Jane and loving her so much I didn't need a fantasy. The reality was much better than any fantasy. Then I remembered that Jane had had a bit of a thing about my testicles. She liked to hold them when we were in bed and then the idea of castration came to me so I told Jane that. I made it up as I went along."

"You told me you'd always had that fantasy," I said to Ted.

"Well, maybe kind of subconsciously," Ted admitted.

"Did you ever think about it when you masturbated?" Brenda asked him.

"Er … not until Jane and I were an item."

"So it is Jane who got you thinking about it?"

"Yeah. I guess so."

"That's right, Ted. Blame me," I complained.

Brenda flashed me an understanding smile. "I'm nearly finished." She turned to Ted. "Would you allow me to give you a word association test? I promise you it's harmless and not at all embarrassing."

"After that conversation I can never be embarrassed again," was Ted's assent.

By this stage I'd have said there was nothing more that Brenda could do that would surprise me. I think if she'd flown off on a broomstick I'd have accepted it. As it was she produced a candle, lit it and turned off the lights. She got Ted relaxed and comfortable and told him to say the first word that came into his head as a response to the word she led. "Remember, Ted, there are no wrong answers in this game."

The first few words were easy everyday words to get Ted into it. The words became more obscure as she went along. Some of them I didn't understand or had never heard of. Ted did though. He responded in the same flat calm way that the lead word was put to him."

When I turned on the lights I was disturbed to see that Brenda was bushed. That word association test seemed to have taken a lot out of her.

She was tired and needed to go. We got through all the polite farewells and thank-yous. Brenda's broomstick looked remarkably like a Ford. "We'll talk tomorrow," she told me before she drove off. Darn right we would.

*****************************************************

Alicia Oralia eventually died at the incredible age of 106.

Marcus Oralia's great relief at this event was tempered by guilt that he didn't miss the old girl one jot. For as long as he could remember she had lived in her rooms at the villa and had never emerged.

She had been old when Marcus was born. As a child he had been duty bound to spend time with her and talk to her. They'd had nothing in common. To escape from those musty stuffy rooms was always the greatest relief. She'd had an old slave, Edinus, who doted on her and served her every need.

When his father died Marcus, the eldest son, became head of the crowded household. There were brother's and sisters, their spouses and their children, various slaves and a collection of old ladies who claimed their right by birth or marriage to their place in the villa. The squabbling, bickering and plotting that went on reminded Marcus of the days when he'd served in Judaea. The people there had been much the same.

Returning from the funeral he galloped ahead of the rest of the clan that moved at litter speed. He wanted to organise the slaves to burn the old lady's ancient furniture and clean and air her rooms. He wanted the space for his own children who were really too big to share a room with their parents and were overdue for their own rooms. This would present the rest of the family with a fait accompli and possibly save the embarrassment of having to evict opportunists who seized the space for themselves.

Fire! As Marcus crested the hill a plume of smoke went up from somewhere near the villa. Fearing for the barns he spurred the horse and in minutes was at the fire. Someone had taken it upon himself to burn the old woman's things. He dismounted and a slave immediately led away his sweating horse.

"Who ordered this?"

"My Lord."

Marcus stared at the bent aged figure before him. "By Jupiter, it's Edinus! Are you still alive?"

"Not for much longer, My Lord."

Despite his frailty Edinus' mind was still sharp. Marcus had to hide a smile at this impertinent answer.

"And who gave you the authority to burn these things?" Marcus spoke sternly.

"Milady herself. It was her last order to me."

Marcus lifted the old man's bowed head with a finger under his chin. Those aged, rheumy eyes were wet with tears but they held his gaze without flinching.

It had never before occurred to Marcus that a man could be beyond fear. A shiver ran up his spine as he realised that here was such a man.

Marcus suddenly remembered the story. It had been told him by his father, late one night when his father was in his cups. "Respect the aged for they have seen many things, my son."

"Yes father."

"And that includes the Lady Alicia too, remember."

Marcus smiled at the memory. Alicia's occupation of the rooms had burdened his father too.

"She too was young and stupid once you know."

Marcus, then young himself had trouble with that concept. He supposed it must be true, hard to imagine though it was.

"Did you know she fell in love with a plebeian?"

"No." Marcus was thrillingly shocked. It was the most interesting thing he'd ever heard about his great, great grandmother. Patricians never ever besmirched themselves by contact with the lower classes. They were apt to do so with their own class, morals had gone to the dogs lately, but a plebeian was so infra dig that even the most licentious patrician lady wouldn't ever consider it, not even for just a once-off occasion.

"Apparently her father caught 'em in the act, in flagrante delecto as it were."

"What happened?"

"Whipped the boy off to the magistrate. Boy got sentenced to death by the sword."

"And Alicia?"

"Her father put it about that she hadn't actually been violated. Got her married off quickly to a cadet branch of the Oralia family, they were big in those days. Her husband went off to war and never came back. Got killed somewhere in an uprising in Gaul."

"I hadn't known that, father."

"That's not all son. The boy was being led off to his death when a Vestal Virgin crossed his path so they had to release him."

"How come?"

"They did that in those days. Those old religions were a lot more powerful then. That was all before this Christianity thing got started."

"Then before anyone knew it the boy and Alicia were at it again. This time Alicia saved him. She said they had to spare the boy's life or she wouldn't marry the stooge they'd found for her. The boy said he loved Alicia and wanted to stay with her."

"Bit of a cheek for a plebeian?"

"Damned right it was but he'd become special because his life had been saved by the Vestals. Otherwise they'd have got rid of him there and then."

"So what did happen?"

"They castrated him and appointed him as her slave. He's been her slave ever since."

"That boy was Edinus?"

"Yep. So you see, son, everyone got what they wanted. Sort of. And everyone was happy. More or less. Very Roman solution to a tricky problem."

By then Orelia Senior was well into his Bacchic binge. "Damned clever, us Romans. That's why we rule the world," he observed before passing out.

A thought occurred to Marcus. If Edinus had been there and Alicia's husband had gone off just after they married, it was possible that the one son Alicia had had, Marcus's great grandfather, was the child of -.

Marcus looked hard into the old man's eyes. "What would you have me do for you Edinus?

"I would join my mistress, my lord."

Marcus put a comforting arm around the old eunuch's shoulder. "Then you shall do so." So swift was the movement that Marcus's dagger was in the old man's heart before he knew it.

The eyes clouded over. "Alicia, I'm coming," Edinus muttered, falling to the ground.

Marcus called to some slaves tending the fire. "Get rid of this." He went inside the villa to inspect the rooms.

*************************************************

Part of Brenda's job was growing plants. Phineas gave her carte blanche and she had a piece of ground for just this purpose. She'd turned it into a garden. Foxgloves and lupins, woodbine and willowherb grew cheek by jowl with exotic species from the Amazon and African rainforests. Asian orchids nodded to nasturtiums and primroses. Dandelions were allowed to puff their seeds as the wind took them. Stinging nettles guarded a baby yellowwood tree not yet a foot tall. It could have been a mess but it was enchanting.

It was an ideal place to eat our sandwiches at lunchtime and that's what Brenda and I were doing.

"Thing is Jane," Brenda was saying, "it's probably just one of those weird traits men have but going by that word association test I did, there could be a more deep seated reason for Ted's castration fantasy."

"You think I should be worried about it?"

"Well, the worst that could happen is that he has his testicles removed."

"No. I want him complete, with all his functions intact."

"We could get to the bottom of it and find out. But only if you want to."

"All right. How?"

"Well it's my turn to have you guys round. Would this Saturday be ok?"

Brenda's house was an odd combination of modern science and new age mumbo-jumbo. The room was dark, lit only by candle-light. However, for the indoor forest of plants it was blazing sunshine as ultraviolet lights beamed their invisible rays from the high ceiling. Crystals twinkled mysteriously in the candle light. Some of them converted UV into visible light and gave off an eerie glow. Whatever else, that room had character.

The meal was delicious. The vegetables, all organic, were fresh from Brenda's own garden. With vegetables like that I could easily become a vegetarian.

During the meal, apropos Ted's castration fantasy, Brenda told us that male sexual fantasies intrigued her. She had studied them and tried to understand them. "I think there's enough to it for it to become a field of study in its own right," she remarked. "In a perfect world it would be taught to teen-age girls at school."

"You don't think that's too soon to shatter those girls' illusions?" I asked her.

Brenda laughed. "Spoil their dreams of Prince Charming? Not really. The insight would certainly help them to live 'happily ever after'."

"Why do men have these weird traits?" I asked her.

"Good question. If the chap is an ordinary straight guy, the cause is usually in his early childhood experiences."

"So it's all the mother's fault?"

"Could be. Not necessarily though. There are plenty of other people around."

Brenda explained how a cross dressing urge, for example, could be imprinted on a little boy because of the attention little girls got for their clothes. He might see how much fun little girls had dressing up, something from which he was excluded."

"What about Ted's castration fantasy?"

"I don't know," Brenda admitted. "I'm extremely curious about it. I'm hoping we're going to find out this evening." She turned to Ted. "With your permission Ted, I'd like to hypnotise you and take you back in time. See if we can get to the cause of it."

"Ok." Ted was intrigued. "Are you able to hypnotise people then?"

"I have a gift for it." It was a simple statement of fact that impressed Ted. It impressed me too. Was there no end to Brenda's talents?

She made Ted comfortable in an armchair, shoes off and a stool for his feet. Then she just hypnotised him. It happened so fast and so easily I thought at first Ted was kidding.

She ran a few checks, then took him back in time via important events in his life. She went back to his wedding day, his graduation, his high school years, his first love. I wasn't totally objective about that. Whoever Valerie Plumley was I hated her guts.

We went right back to his pre-school childhood. Brenda explored those early years and found nothing to account for his trait. He'd had a very normal and happy childhood in a secure loving family.

Brenda looked at me and made a kind of shrug. Then she took Ted back further in time. We went back through his infancy and even his gestation.

Ted went quiet.

"Go back further, Ted. Keep going back until you remember."

There was a long silence. Ted broke it speaking in a language that might have been Latin. The hairs on my neck stood up. There was an odd feeling in my gut.

"Speak English. Who are you?"

"My name is Edinus. Slave to the Lady Alicia."

"Where are you?"

"I am at my master's villa, outside Rome."

"What are your duties, Edinus?"

"To attend to my mistress. I clean her rooms, wash her clothes, bath Milady. And when she wants I pleasure her too."

"How do you pleasure her?"

"With my fingers and tongue, as it may please her."

Brenda and I exchange glances. We had a feeling of venturing into forbidden territory as if we had stumbled on something we weren't meant to know.

"Are you a eunuch Edinus?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

Again Brenda and I looked at each other. We were both scared but at this point curiosity overcame fear.

"Were you taken prisoner in a battle?"

"No Ma'am. I am a freeborn Roman citizen of the Plebeian class. I fell in love with Alicia and that was forbidden. Her father caught us together. He offered me death or join the army."

There was a look of distress in Ted's face. I could see that he was reliving a moment from that time.

"I want to stay with Alicia. I love her. … I'll not join the army. Put me to death … They don't want to do that. The Vestal Virgin saved me and they don't want any trouble from them."

I was confused. What did Vestal Virgins have to do with it?

"Her father is angry. I fear he will kill me. His wife stays his hand. She speaks to me … 'Edinus, do you truly love Alicia?' Aye Ma'am. I do. 'Do you love her enough to become her slave?' Her father speaks. He wants me gone. Milady stops him and speaks to me. 'You can be her slave but there is a heavy sacrifice, Edinus.' Alicia is there too. She screams: 'Edinus, no!' "

This was history as it never was at school. I found I'd been holding my breath.

Then Ted opened his eyes as if he were wide awake. He looked directly at me. "Alicia, I love you and will always love you. To be near you and to serve you is my heart's desire. Let me be your slave."

Ted closed his eyes and was silent.

"What happened after that, Edinus?"

"For three days nothing. I may not see Alicia. There is an old woman from nearby. She comes. They bring me into the house, remove my clothes and tie me to a table. They all leave, The old woman stays. She is the one to take the sacrifice. She rubs ointment on the part to be cut. The ointment will dull the pain. Then Alicia and her mother come in. I see Alicia is crying. She takes my hand in hers. I cannot move nor can I speak. The old woman cuts. I am no longer a man."

Ted was sobbing gently to himself. I was too. How beautiful it was that a boy should give up everything for .

I could see Brenda was moved too.

A few more questions and we learnt that Edinus and Alicia had grown old together as Mistress and faithful slave. Edinus had got what he wanted in life. Alicia must have loved Edinus too although it could have been dreadfully frustrating for her.

Brenda brought Ted forward to the present time, told him that he would lose all interest in his castration fantasy and ordered him to wake up.

Ted did lose interest in castration after that. It was as if he completely forgot about it. To my surprise I found I was missing Ted's harmless little perversion. I wondered if there wasn't something to take its place. Then one day Ted said to me "Jane, what do you think about wife swapping?"

So much for the faithful Edinus!

End