Mark 5

For Mark to have looked, or better to have expressed some admiration for boy’s naked body, was the sort of attention that boy craved. It would have seemed an affirmation but one which, so far, Mark had twice denied him.

Before getting into the shower, boy put his trainers neatly, their toes to the wall, folded the sweat-soaked kit and placed it on top of the trainers. Then boy got into the shower for the thorough wash that Mark had commanded.

Soaping his intact body, boy thought of mods that might lie ahead.

Washing his No.2 cropped hair he thought of it all shaved off – at the top of a hairless body.

Soaping his upper arms and chest, he thought of bold tribal tattoos, clean edged, black against his white skin.

Moving down to his balls he imagined them being prepared for the Burdizzo clamp, those cords loosening in a hot, hot, bath, hands pulling them down, feeling for those cords, the initial shock of cold steel, the sudden pain on one side as the jaws closed and those long seconds as the sustained pressure did its severing work .

Even there in the shower boy braced himself to contemplate the crushing of his second set of cords. By now he would have experienced real pain. Second time it would probably be worse. Would he go through with the second set ? Would he have arranged a "safe word", a word to save his remaining manhood before his balls were cut off from their life’s blood, their feeling gone, his spunk soon to be sterile and life as a eunuch there stretching out in front of him.

Moving a soapy hand up and down his partly engorged cock, he thought about it gradually shrinking, losing much of its purpose, maybe becoming redundant, maybe a home for piercings. In his imagination, each bump became part of a frenum ladder and, in his mind’s eye, boy saw a good big PA ring, like uncle’s.

Moving to his backside, boy picked up a scrubbing brush and rubbed hard until his backside glowed. He thought of a cane thrashing the reddened surface, of deepening red, of the blues, the blacks and the purples of his bruising.

As boy scrubbed his right buttock, he winced slightly at the thought of a branding iron pressed on and burning his flesh. He even seemed to catch the smell of burning flesh, perhaps the smell of cooking sausages had reached his nose, as boy sniffed.

The ring that hung through uncle’s nose came back to boy as he considered his private thoughts and the extent to which any of this could be exposed to Mark, let alone to a wider public.

The pressure in his bladder had built up but, as instructed, he did not relieve himself as the shower water flowed into the mouth of that lavatory hole in the floor.

As boy washed he reflected that Mark seemed to have been asking all the questions and he wondered whether he should ask Mark some questions. How would he know whether that was acceptable if he did not try asking. Stepping out of the shower he found that the sweaty borrowed kit had gone, there was a black bath towel on top of the metal basket that had been in the hall with a selection of black shorts in it but, now, no tops.

"Slip into something comfortable, boy!" said Mark from the front room, "And, if you must pee, use the urinal" which boy saw on the wall opposite the shower door. It was a relief to let his piss pour out and then to select another brief pair of tight black shorts to put on.

"Mark, shall I come down now ?" boy asked, though it was rhetorical as he was already halfway down the stairs, keen for Mark to see him. Mark looked up, raising his gaze no higher than boy’s chest and still denying him that eye-to-eye contact. That chest was interesting in itself, ‘had it never had adult hair ?’ Mark wondered, ‘or has boy learnt to keep it clean to show off, yes, one small steel ring through boy’s right nipple…’

Mark forbore to comment.

"Have a seat," Mark said gesturing to the table, "ready for lunch ?"

"Yes please, Mark, the smell has been very inviting."

So boy sat up at one of the places where there was a mat but no cutlery and Mark placed a hotplate of food before him: three good size sausages, new potatoes, whole carrots and some shallots…

"My boy visitors usually use their fingers and give each item a thoughtful suck before they think of biting through let alone chewing it and then chewing each piece thoroughly and equally thoughtfully – use your imagination, boy!".

"And I guess that an imagination like yours has developed some rich imagery with some help from the Web."

"On a day like today, you could have come simply to fuel your imagination, to take a peep behind the screen, to see what really happens behind the Archive.."

"Or perhaps you have come with questions, questions which, as yet, I have given you little or no opportunity to ask."

"You might have come with your will already committed to making a significant change in your life. Taking control yourself or wanting to give control away."

"Maybe you were trying to express something towards such a commitment in a small but clear way in your right nipple."

‘So he has noticed,’ thought boy as if by now it was not very obvious, ‘do I know exactly why I’m here ?’

"I’m not going to press you to be definite as to why you are here today – you are here and let’s go forward from that point – indeed let’s leap forward in that imagination of yours."

Mention of imagination caught boy sucking on a sausage – an experience that did indeed make him think.

"I gather from hearing of your chats on the Archive that you’ve explored what it might mean to be clamped, to lose your testicular function, hormone levels and to have your balls shrink. You have probably encountered some guys who are ready to come and crush your cords without much further discussion."

"I hope that you have also noted some wiser counsels about whom you select to muck about not just with your genitalia but with your health and with your life."

"You’ve talked to some who’ve told you that they’ve gone through elastration and or cutting to deal with their sacs, their cocks or both and, presumably, without complications; for all I know you’ve even chatted to some who’ve taken risks with fisting and with bare backing.

"Maybe your focus has always been on the moment of emasculation – it is in so very many stories. Perhaps you are already thinking seriously about life beyond that moment – life as a eunuch who has given up a significant part of what made him a person to start on a new sort of living."

"Have you thought about how a eunuch body can be used, fully yet sensibly and wondered how you find a Master ready to keep a eunuch slave in a disciplined way using its remaining talents ?"

"You may even have though about needing a doctor who is ready to help you to live a healthy life within the choices that you and your Master may one day have made. And – as this is no fairy story – remember that Masters and slaves don’t live happily ever after – they tend to come and go !"

"As you may appreciate, you are free to talk about such things with me."

"After lunch, I’ll let you think about some longer term questions which we might explore and we can identify some of the hopes that have brought you here as well as some of the fears that might have you scuttling back into that old home of imagination and virtual reality."