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His name was Kenny, but because of his small stature, his nickname was PeeWee. Thing is, the name PeeWee was accurate for more than one reason. So it shouldn't have shocked him when his wife had an affair behind his back. After he and Twila divorced and she remarried, Kenny never failed to tell her if her husband wasn't in the room "If you ever get hard up, let me know." Twila never failed to remind him "Hello, I'm happily married. And even if I was single, NOT EVEN IF YOU WERE THE LAST GUY IN THE GALAXY!!" Then one day when dropping off his and Twila's daughter from a weekend visitation, Kenny tried to throw up Twila's affair in her husband's face in Twila's presence. "If she fucked around on me, she'll do it to you too" Kenny said haughtily "Just warning you" "Yeah mother fucker. I did fuck around on you. I'm not sorry I did it either Winky Man!!" Twila laughed at him. "And I know why she did it too," her husband Duane piped up. "You accused her of it all the time when she wasn't doing anything because you knew you weren't pleasing her in the bedroom. She figured if you were going to accuse her of it, she might as well go ahead and do it. I would have done the same thing and I don't blame her at all. You see, I know she's not doing anything behind my back and if I thought she was, I would ask her, I wouldn't accuse her. That was your own fuck up dude." Kenny turned red with anger that his plan to split them up didn't work. Twila and Duane ordered him out of their apartment or Duane would physically throw him out the window About a month later, Kenny tried another approach. At the visitation exchange (Twila had long since refused to see or talk to him and stayed in the bedroom during the exchanges while Duane dealt with Kenny) Kenny opened his rotten teeth death breath infested mouth. "Did you know that she had a threesome with me and her ex boyfriend?" Kenny said with a smirk on his face. Duane gasped. "Yeah, she told me about that too. The only reason she did that was to shut Mark up about HIS fantasy and that you and Mark were more interested in each other than you were her, so she just laid there and watched you two get it on." Kenny turned red. "That's a lie!" he said vehemently. "Whatever dude" Duane said with a dismissive wave. A few weeks later Kenny made another attempt. He was so horny for Twila that he couldn't get rid of his constant hard on..all 3 inches of it. The fact that she couldn't stand the sight of him seemed to make him want her more. "Did you know that she and her sister got it on once? She told me all about it. She's a DYKE!" Duane rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know about that too. Twila, her sister and myself all sat here and laughed so hard we cried over that. Lizzie couldn't believe you were stupid enough to believe it!! Did it ever occur to you that maybe Twila told you she was a lesbian to get you to leave her alone?? It's not my fault you were enough of a fucktard to believe it!!" Twila, sick and tired of hearing all of Kenny's bullshit, wordlessy slipped out of the bedroom, stormed over to Kenny, punched him in the mouth and proceeded to viciously kick him in the balls. Kenny fell to the floor clutching at his M and M sized goodies. Then she harshly bent over and pulled his pants and underwear off of him. "See? I told you he was a winky man! See the REAL reason why his nickname is PeeWee!! You can SEE why I fucked around on him! Not even a cockroach could feel that thing!!" Twila jeered at him. Duane was laughing so hard he had tears streaming down his face. "Not no more Winky Man" Twila sneered at Kenny. "This is it. Leave me the FUCK alone!" With that, she stomped on his unprotected M and M's, feeling them pop beneath her shoes. "Why don't you go find a Euncuh Camp now, Winky-less Man" Kenny signed his rights to their daughter away and moved out of state. Duane adopted Twila's daughter, had a couple children of their own and lived happily ever after, laughing themselves to sleep nightly over Kenny's humilation. |