Tim's Last Orgasm 1

I Initial Contact

Tim sat staring at the computer screen, his heart pounding. There were two reasons his heart rate was at least twice normal. He was hard; so hard it was painful. He would have to take care of that, and very soon! But the thing that had really got his adrenaline going was the last comment his chat buddy Eric had made. "I think I can help you, if you're really serious," he had said. Eric had to go, but he had promised to be back online tomorrow at the same time. Was he just bullshitting like so many on these chat lines, or was this real? Could he really help? Was this the answer to the fantasy Tim had had as long as he could remember?

Tim knew that his parents would be long gone to bed by now, so he dropped his boxers to the floor and stepped out of them. He felt his rock hard boycock, running his fingers over the circumcised head, feeling the small drop of precum that was oozing out the end. It was a nice dick - about as nice as any he'd seen, and he'd seen plenty. He had been checking out other boys as long as he'd been in a position to do so - much longer than he'd been shooting his load, which he did several times a day. Shower rooms at school, the "Y" and other communal showers he'd frequented; even the urinals at school where he never failed to see at least one other male member. So he knew that his was at least average in size, well shaped, actually pretty if you were into looking at penises as Tim was. So if it was so beautiful, gave him so much pleasure, why did he want it gone? He had no idea; but it had become an obsession with Tim and he knew he would never rest until he achieved his goal. Actually, as he thought about it, he realized that he did indeed have several reasons. All were more or less obscure, but nonetheless real. Now that he sensed he might actually achieve his goal, he was more excited than he'd been for a long time!

For the third time today, Tim lay on his back on the bed, naked, and began stroking himself. At 16, he was well past the trauma of puberty, and everything was functioning pretty well as expected. As he lay there stroking slowly, methodically, luxuriating in the delicious feelings of his own hand on his boyhood, Tim ran his other hand under his balls. He cupped them, rolled them around between his fingers, sighed with pleasure knowing that they were above average size and could certainly produce copious amounts of semen. Oddly enough, he still wasn't aware that he had something called a prostate gland. As far as he knew, everything that he produced with his self manipulations came directly from these big balls. As he lay there pleasuring himself, his mind drifted back to when it had all started.

Unlike most of his friends, Tim's first orgasm had not been purposely induced or even expected. Most of the boys he knew had been taught, or at least told of the joys of beating off by someone older who'd already had the experience. Tim had never had friends with whom he talked of such things. He had known he was gay, even if he hadn't faced it or even knew of the word, had been interested in other boys' bodies long before he knew anything at all about sex; but his first orgasm had occurred quite by accident.

He was 12 years old when it happened. Tim had discovered the joys of manipulating himself before he was even out of diapers! He could still remember shoving his tiny hand down inside his diaper and fondling himself, totally thrilled at the experience. He would sit for hours watching TV, alone in his crib, just about anywhere he happened to be, completely involved in manipulating the tiny button that was now his five plus inch cock. His parents had noticed, but had pretty well ignored his habit in hopes that it would go away by itself.

It hadn't.

Tim had always been a painfully average boy. His grades had always been a mixture of A's and B's; he had got involved in basketball and soccer, had been involved in the Boy Scouts since he was 6, even took piano lessons. In all these activities he was neither a star nor an outcast. He was, well, average! He had always been, at least in the eyes of his parents, well adjusted, happy and content. Tim had to agree with that assessment except for one thing, and that was his secret: from a very early age he wanted to be rid of that part of his body that had always given him the most pleasure: his penis. Even more perplexing, he hadn't the slightest idea why! Or did he?

As the 16 year old felt his orgasm building, Tim was twelve years old again in his mind. He was lying in his bed, this very bed, and playing with himself. It felt so good when his tiny one inch pricklet doubled in length and got flint hard! It felt like a little piece of wood in his hand as he slowly stroked it up and down; but this time it was different. This time the sensations seemed even more intense, more pleasurable than usual. This time he couldn't stop! He had lain there for almost a half hour, much longer than usual, and he could not have stopped and gone to sleep now even if he'd wanted to! He didn't know why, but it was urgently important that he keep stroking, and he was picking up the pace. And then there was that feeling!

Tim had heard all the different cautions about masturbating: how one could go blind, go crazy, wear it out, desensitize it, or use up all his sperm, whatever sperm was. He hadn't believed any of them. How could anything that felt so good be harmful? But now, suddenly, there was a wave of feeling washing over his young twelve year old body that defied description. He was holding his breath; his hips were bucking involuntarily. He even felt his little dick swell, felt an irresistible urge to urinate, yet somehow he knew instinctively that urination right now was impossible. The feeling intensified until Tim couldn't even breathe! And then... then he was emitting something out of the end of his cock, accompanied by the most incredibly intense feeling, followed by a sense of relief. Tim had just had his first orgasm!

The whole experience scared him. He vowed never to do that again! His promise to himself had lasted almost two weeks before he found himself in the same position, performing the same activity. This time when the feeling came he was ready for it; this time he took careful note of the sensations. He watched in awe as a little spurt of almost clear sticky fluid came out of his dick, rose three inches into the air and then splattered back on his belly. It didn't frighten him this time, or at least not as much. He placed his index finger in the small pool of fluid on his belly, then put it to his lips. The smell that invaded his nostrils was intoxicating! The taste - well, the taste wasn't that sensational really. It was sort of salty, but not exactly. It had another flavor - something he'd never tasted before and he couldn't describe it; but whatever it was he knew it wasn't urine; and he knew he would taste it again.

As Tim remembered that first orgasm for perhaps the ten thousandth time, he felt the now familiar sensation radiate from deep in his groin until his entire body was enveloped. A rope of teen semen gushed out of his cock, landing squarely on his face, some dropping directly into his open mouth. A second blast, even more forceful, splattered on his face and the pillow above his head. A third... a little weaker... then a fourth landed on his chest. He moaned loudly as the fifth blast landed on his belly and pooled there, followed by enough oozing out of his pee slit to run down the length of his throbbing member and completely saturate his small bush of pubic hair. This had been as good as any orgasm he'd ever had!

Tim was totally spent, as he usually was after jerking off. But he wasn't too spent to begin scooping up his own cum with his fingers and sucking it into his mouth. He loved the taste of his own cum! He continued scooping and sucking until he'd gathered every drop he could. He wiped up what was left with a tissue, then covered himself with a sheet and settled down for a peaceful sleep. It was late, and tomorrow was another school day. As he settled in for the night, the familiar feelings of well being and contentment washed over his body. As had happened so many times before, he was overcome with the warm afterglow of pleasure as his mind wandered back over time to various incidents in his life. It seemed to Tim at times like this that everything significant that had ever happened in his life had somehow involved sex.

It wasn't long after he'd discovered the joys of beating off regularly... probably some time during his thirteenth year... that Tim discovered that his friends did it all the time, and sometimes together! Tim had played his game with his best friend Larry quite regularly, but both boys were very secretive about it and both had always felt pangs of guilt after they'd had their fun. It was quite by accident that he got involved in this new activity, but it didn't take him long to figure it all out and start to enjoy it. His first jerkoff buddy, the first boy with whom he had nothing in common save masturbation, was Doug, a boy in his class.

Tim and Doug had been in the same class since the first grade. They were good friends, but not so close that they spent all their time together. Doug was a competitive swimmer, which meant he spent long hours in the pool every single day. When he wasn't swimming, he was usually doing something with his dad or studying. That was one thing that Tim envied about Doug: always going to ball games or car races, fishing or camping trips with his dad. Tim had never done things like that with his father. It wasn't so much that they didn't get along, but Tim's father was very involved with his work, and he was just so doggoned strict! In his dad's presence, or his mom's for that matter, Tim always seemed to be so uptight for fear that he would screw up and get lectured! He never got beaten, except for a few spankings when he was younger, but he sure did get lectured a lot!

One afternoon in early April Tim and Doug were comparing notes on a math test they'd just got back. Tim had made a few silly mistakes, but his understanding teacher had realized they were stupid mistakes so had only docked him five points, leaving Tim overjoyed with a 95! Doug had not been so lucky. He simply did not understand the concept of percentage, so he had ended up failing the test. Tim was trying to explain what Doug could not understand on the front steps of the school, but Doug just shook his head. "I don't get it and I never will," he complained. "I don't understand why we gotta learn this stuff anyway. It's nuthin' but a stupid circle jerk!"

"A what?" Tim had said blankly.
"You're kidding!" Doug said in disbelief. "You don't know what a circle jerk is?"
"Well... no, I guess I don't. I don't think I ever heard of it."
"Next you're gonna tell me you don't ever jerk off," Doug said, looking Tim straight in the eye. Tim hated when someone did that to him!
"I... er... well..." Tim began, fully intending to absolutely deny that he ever did anything like that, but his scarlet blushing face had already betrayed him and he knew it.
"Will you relax!" Doug said with a grin. "All the guys do it! Man, I dunno how I could live if I didn't do it two or three times a day!"

"But why do you call it circle jerk?" Tim asked. He was curious about the name, but he was equally anxious to take the heat of discussion off his private ministrations.
"Think about it, man!" Doug said. "A bunch of us guys on the swim team do it all the time! Circle! We form a CIRCLE!"
"You... you do it in front of other guys?" Tim was totally shocked now.
"All the time! It's great fun! Sometimes we even do it to each other. Actually..." Doug said, his eyes narrowing a little, "I don't have swim practice today. I could come home with you and you could help me with this stupid math and then... I mean, if you're interested..."

Tim was indeed interested! He was shocked to his very toes, but he was also curious. He wasn't real thrilled with exposing himself in front of his friend, but he was dying to see what Doug had hidden from view. Of course they had seen each other in the showers at school, and Tim already knew from what he'd seen that Doug had a killer body from all that swimming. But to see him close up... maybe even touch! Tim was still a bit too young to recognize the attraction he felt for Doug as an early sign of homosexuality, but there was no question that he was definitely drawn to do just about anything with the handsome kid. "I... I dunno..." he said doubtfully.
"I really could use some help with this math," Doug coaxed. "Then I'd owe ya. And it's really no big deal, we do it all the time and it don't mean you're queer or anything like that. It's just a fun thing to do!"
"I'll be glad to help you with your math, Doug. We can go to my home and do that anyway. As far as the other..."

All the way home Tim's mind was spinning at warp speed. "It don't mean you're queer or anything..." Doug had said. Tim didn't like that word, although he used it himself a lot; but every time someone else used it, Tim felt like he'd been stabbed in the gut, because he knew he WAS queer! He just didn't like that word! He preferred to be called GAY... well actually he preferred not to be called anything like that because no one knew! Tim had used all the words to describe homosexuals, including those that were less than complimentary, as a cover. He had laughed at "queer" jokes, even participated in the odd conversation about this or that boy who was suspected of being gay. But nonetheless, he had been assured by his friend, the very friend whom Tim would love to check out further, that playing jerkoff games did not make one gay! But would he have the nerve when the time came?

Tim did indeed have the nerve. He helped Doug to understand percentages, and he did it so easily that he began to wonder if perhaps he should be a teacher instead of a Navy Top Gun as he had planned. But then Doug had declared, simply and honestly, "Thanks, man! You make it seem so easy! Now it's payback time!"

Of course Tim knew what payback time meant, and he was ready! What he was not ready for was what happened moments after pants and underpants were down at ankles, and two youngsters were stroking vigorously to see who could shoot first.

"Tim, did you know you forgot to put out the trash this morning?" Tim's mom said as she opened the door and came barging in. Then she stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth and eyes having something of a contest to see which could fall open wider, the armload of clean laundry she was carrying dropping to the floor with a PLOP. There were her son and a friend she didn't know, naked from the waist down. They were sitting on the bed cross-legged, facing each other, their erect penises in their hands. The expression on their faces, if she had noticed, was a photographer's dream come true. It was an odd mixture of surprise and shock, ecstasy, and... and guilt! "What in the world do you two think you're doing?" she demanded when she'd recovered her breath.

Tim's mom did that a lot, or at least she used to until Tim discovered there was a lock on the door which he now used regularly. She would tap twice on the door, but before he'd had a chance to respond one way or the other, she would walk in. Tim hated it! Several times she had caught him in various stages of undress, which she laughed off saying she had seen him in the altogether long before he had seen himself. "But that's different, Mom," he would protest. "I was a baby then!" Still it was a habit she continued and made no apologies for, and now he'd been caught in the most embarrassing situation he could imagine! Perhaps that was her motive - to catch him doing something he hadn't ought to be doing.

"You'd better run along now," Mom said to Doug. He voice wasn't angry or excited; it was worse! Her tone was cold and even, totally devoid of emotion. She never took her eyes off the two boys as Doug scrambled to get into his underpants and pants, then his socks and sneakers. In less time than it takes to tell, Doug was dressed and gone without a word. Tim was still on the bed, still in the same position, still naked except for his T-shirt. His erection had wilted like a violet in the Sahara, but no other part of him had moved. "May I ask what in the world you two were doing?" his mom demanded in that same cold, emotionless tone.

"Mom, we were just... just foolin' around!" Tim answered in a begging, almost whining tone.
"You were... you were playing with yourselves, weren't you?"
"Mom," Tim implored, "we weren't doin' anything wrong! We were just... just foolin' around! An' if you had knocked like you always promise you will..."
"I did knock!" his mom said condescendingly. "But whether I knock on your door or not is not the issue here! The issue is that you were playing with yourself, and in the company of another boy! Tim, son, I know you're a growing boy and at your age you are very curious. But he is just another boy, Tim! He's just like you! If you must investigate and experiment with your body, do it alone, not in front of someone else!"

"But Mom, I..."
"I am not finished, young man! You obviously have no idea of the seriousness of what you were doing! As difficult as it may be for me, I'll have to explain to you the gory details of the consequences of your actions. As you grow older, you will start to get interested in girls. Soon you will have a girl friend, and one day a wife and children. But if you involve yourself in activities like you were doing this afternoon, you could turn yourself into... into a..."
"A what, Mom? What're you tryin' to say?"
"It doesn't matter, Tim. I don't like using words like that, but all that's important is that you don't want to turn into one of those men who don't like girls. You don't want to be... well, some men do really strange things with other men, and they probably got started doing some of the things you were doing today. I can't let you do that to yourself, Tim!"

"Ok, Mom, I get the message," Tim replied weakly. He was fighting hard to keep from crying now, wondering how his mother would react if she knew that he actually drank his own cum! And had fantasies of sucking someone else's dick! And had been jerking off with Larry for at least a year. Tim knew that he was gay, and he also knew that he hadn't made himself that way, he'd been born gay! He'd been interested in other boys long before he even understood the attraction. He ached to tell his mom, but her explanation just now convinced him that she would never understand.

Neither of Tim's parents had ever had "the talk" with him; what he knew about sex he had learned from Larry, a very generic sex ed class at school, and of course the Internet. He knew the mechanics of man/woman sex, had been taught at school that sex was where babies came from. Beyond those basics, Tim had very little concept of what was acceptable and what was not. From school he had learned that birth control was important if one were to practice premarital sex, but the thoughts of engaging in such activities with a girl had never entered his mind. From the Internet he had read about, and seen pictures of all sorts of activities. He had learned and bought into the attitude that said "my body, my choice." Now he was hearing some things that he'd never heard before, and they were scaring him!

But his mother wasn't even close to being through with her lecture yet. She went on about how insane asylums are full of young men who had got into the habit of "playing with themselves" in the presence of other men and gone totally out of their minds. She talked about how manipulating that thing would desensitize it to the point it would be no good for "legitimate sex." She told him that sex with other males was not only dirty and unsanitary, and dangerous to his physical and mental health, but it was a crime against God Himself! When she was finally finished with her lecture, Tim was crying and begging her to forgive him. He promised never to do such a thing again, and he meant it! He wasn't going to be a pervert! He would make her proud, he promised.

The next day at school, Doug attacked Tim from out of nowhere. Tim had resolved to avoid his friend, but Doug had totally different ideas. "What happened?" he demanded without so much as a hello.
"Whadda ya think happened?" Tim shot back somewhat bitterly, "I got hell, that's what happened!"
"Is your mom gonna tell my folks?"
"I dunno... I don't think so. I don't know if she even knows your name." At that moment Tim realized that there hadn't been a word from his mom about the boy he'd been with, except in very general terms. It was as if his co-conspirator didn't even exist! Or perhaps he wasn't a real person to his mom, but just representative of a part of society that was so unspeakable that she didn't want to know his name, or to deal with him an any way. Tim knew what that meant. He knew that any thoughts he might have had of discussing his attraction to other boys, albeit rather remote, were out of the question. His mother had simply blocked out of her mind the fact that Doug had been with Tim. That concept was unthinkable to her; at that point, standing by his locker at school, Tim realized that any information he got relative to his sexuality would not come from his parents. He knew now that their attitude towards anything related to sex was so painfully old-fashioned that they would never be able to understand how their son could be attracted to other boys.

Somewhere deep inside him Tim was hoping that Doug would offer to finish what had been interrupted. If Doug had made such an offer, it would have been welcomed! But Doug never did. Once he was satisfied that his parents would probably never know of the incident, Doug never brought it up again. Tim wondered if Doug had sworn off masturbation as he had, but he never found out, and his hopes and fantasies of his first lover evaporated like dew on a hot sunny morning.

From what he had learned, or not learned, about sex, Tim really had no concept of what it mean to be Gay. His warped understanding of gay sex amounted to just that: sex! He knew that boys and men had oral sex, and that he found very attractive, at least to think about. He also knew they did other things that weren't so attractive. He had recently read a story about two boys who engaged in anal sex, and that to Tim was about as disgusting as anything he had ever heard about in his life! He had seen a picture on the Internet of two teenage boys, one bent over with his butt in the air, cheeks spread, his anus very prominent. The other boy was on his knees behind the first, his tongue out, and from their positions it was pretty obvious where that tongue had just been. The caption on the picture was one word: "Delicious!" The sight of that picture had caused poor Tim to almost lose his dinner! Nonetheless he'd had fond hopes that his little encounter with Doug would develop into something, but now that possibility seemed very remote.

"What was that all about?" a voice asked from behind Tim as he walked to class.
"Oh, hi, Larry," Tim said as he turned to see his best friend. Tim couldn't even remember how long they'd been friends, but this was one kid with whom Tim shared everything! Well, perhaps not everything, but close. Larry didn't know that Tim was pretty sure he was gay, though he had his suspicions. He certainly didn't know that Tim was desperate to have a penectomy; but with those two exceptions there was very little Larry didn't know about his friend. Actually Larry knew a lot more about Tim's favorite fantasy than Tim realized, but he had no earthly idea how serious Tim was.

Tim's friendship with Larry, like most childhood buddies, had had its up's and down's. Right now it was on a bit of a down, although they were still close and spent time together. It was just that their interests had divided somewhat so they were not together as much as they had been in the past, but they still spoke almost daily, still shared secrets with one another that they didn't share with anyone else, and Larry was beginning to miss the times he and Tim had been inseparable.

"So what was Doug's problem?" Larry asked again. "Man, he started givin' me the third degree as soon as I got to school! Where was Tim? Had I seen Tim this morning? Wasn't he usually here by now? What gives, Tim?"
"Nuthin' much," Tim evaded. "We just... well we got in a little trouble yesterday after school."
"You and Doug? What kinda trouble? It musta been serious!"
"Not really," Tim said. He knew that Larry wouldn't rest until he had the entire story, but he also knew that anything he told Larry would go no further, so he glanced around to be sure no one was close to them, then whispered "Mom caught Doug and me jerking off in my room."
"She caught you... you and Doug..." Larry echoed, total shock on his face. "Really?" Then he started laughing. He literally screamed with laughter to the point that a passing teacher ordered him to keep it down. "Oh man!" he gasped. "It's a wonder you're not both dead! What'd she say?"

Tim was a little annoyed. He thought Larry would be sympathetic, but instead he'd thought that was the funniest thing he'd heard all year! "Let's just say she didn't laugh at us," he grumbled.
"I'm sorry," Larry said as he realized he'd hurt Tim. "I shouldn't have laughed, but... but I got a vision and it hit my funny bone. Really, Tim, I didn't know you were doin' that! I mean I didn't realize you were doin' it since that last time..."
"SHHHH!" Tim shushed. "Here's my first class. See ya after school?"
"Count on it," Larry said. "I gotta hear the rest of this!"

What Larry had meant by "since the last time..." was the many times two little boys, Tim and Larry, had investigated those parts of their bodies that weren't always in plain sight. It had started before they had even started school, before they even realized that little boys are not supposed to play with each other's thingies. Why they'd never been caught was something of a mystery, because ‘way back then they made no effort to keep their games a secret. As time went on they became more discreet as they learned that such activity was a social no-no.

It had been Larry who had first learned of Tim's first cum when they were 12, and Larry who explained that it was the body's way of propelling its seed to its recipient. The games had continued in Larry's bedroom, sometimes Tim's, and their many other secret places. Neither boy felt any shame about what they had done; neither had ever attached any significance to their play other than it was great fun and it made them feel incredibly good; But they knew that others would not understand. They also both knew every time they did it that they'd like to do it again. For reasons Tim did not understand, he had never thought of Larry as anything but a friend. They loved each other, but as brothers, not lovers. What they did together, whether it was shooting baskets in Larry's driveway, fishing in the small lake that was close to their neighborhood, or jerking off together, was to both boys just things that good friends do together.

Predictably, Larry was standing outside the door of Tim's home room when Tim emerged. "So tell me all about it," Larry demanded without so much as a hello.
"Not that much to tell," Tim said, trying to be nonchalant. "I was helping Doug with his math and we ended up jerkin' off. You know how my mom is always barging into my room... well this time she got more of an eyeful than she bargained for."
"Man!" he exclaimed. "She musta been really pissed!"
"Not really," he replied. "She was just so scared I was gonna turn myself into a queer she lectured me real good. I dunno what woulda happened if I had been alone."

Larry walked along in silence for half a block. "You think that'll make ya queer? He asked pensively. "I mean... you know, jerking off with other guys... you think..."
"No, I don't," Tim answered. "I don't think you can make yourself queer or not queer. I think you are what you are."
"So... so you don't see any harm in doin' it? I mean... with someone?"
"I dunno, Lar. I mean, there was all those times that you and me..."
"Yeah," Larry agreed. "I miss those times. I remember how you used to giggle when I would..."
"You did your share of giggling too as I remember," Tim said with a wide grin. It was like old times, talking so frankly and openly, and it felt good to both boys! Independently and secretly they both resolved to spend more time together, to resume the games they both had enjoyed so much, maybe even more...

Tim kept his resolve of abstinence this time for almost three days. His mother had so traumatized his 13 year old mind that he was terrified that he had already done himself irreparable damage or even worse, doomed his soul to hell! But one Saturday while his mother was shopping, he was back on the Internet and his favorite website: a site devoted to beautiful male bodies, all of them endowed with the biggest, hardest, most delicious looking equipment Tim could imagine. Before he even realized what he was doing he had worked himself into a frenzy of desire that would not be denied!

He might have been able to resist had it not been for a new story he began to read. It was about a boy only a year older than himself: 14, and how he had met another boy the same age. One thing had led to another and they had fallen madly in love, with the resultant bedroom activity that was described in minute detail. Tim put himself in the hero's place, with Doug in his lover's. He thought of Larry, but that idea just seemed too fantastic. Larry was not gay. Period. The scene fit so perfectly! Everything they did in the story he could picture himself doing with Doug, had things been different. First there was simple masturbation just as Tim and Doug had done, or at least started to do. Then the boys had jerked each other off, and finally the hero had swallowed his friend's cock to the base. Tim could read no more as he left the screen, tearing his clothes off like someone possessed. He began stroking himself furiously and was soon moaning to the relief he hadn't felt for three days. There was no possible way that anything that felt so good could be all bad!

* * *

Before he'd fallen asleep, Tim was hard again. His mind had wandered, as it often did, back to the surgery he'd had when he was eight years old. He remembered it so vividly it was as if it had happened only yesterday! This had been the closest he'd ever come to realizing his dream, and he cursed to himself once more that it had not developed as he'd hoped, even thought there had never been a chance that it would.

Tim had not been circumcised at birth like most of his friends. He'd originally had a very large "tassel" of foreskin on the end of his tiny penis, and he'd always hated it because it made him different. He didn't like to be different, and he particularly didn't like the way that extra piece of skin was always getting sore! He wasn't as faithful about changing his underwear as he might be, and that made his foreskin sore. He was also, like most small boys, not as careful about keeping himself clean as he should have been, and this caused his little penis, which he was already playing with every chance he got, to smell very bad and very strong! Other boys would notice it every time he pulled the foreskin back, and they always accused him of peeing in his pants because that's what it smelled like to them.

When he was eight years old, Tim got a very bad infection under his foreskin. Of course he didn't know it was an infection, only that his tiny dick hurt like hell! When he urinated, it burned so bad that he had all he could do to keep from screaming, yet he still didn't tell his parents. They might never have known until it was too late, had his mother not noticed the yellow, hard dried discharge on his underwear. If he had only had the presence of mind back then to conceal those stains, or wash them off before he threw his underwear in the laundry, he might well have achieved his lifelong goal then! But at eight years old, little Tim didn't think about things like that. He didn't even realize that such a possibility existed! So when his mother came into his bedroom and announced that she wanted to see his penis, Tim's only thought was that she had somehow found out that he was constantly playing with it, as he'd been doing when his mother came into the room. He was hard as a rock, but to his great surprise she didn't seem to notice, or at least she didn't say anything.

When his mom slowly pulled back the skin on his abused cocklet, Tim screamed. He had learned to do it in such a way that the pain was bearable, but of course his mom wasn't aware of all that. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed when she saw the angry puss oozing from under the foreskin. "We've got to get you to a doctor right away!"
"Are they gonna cut it off?" Tim asked hopefully.
"The way you've been taking care of it, they just might," his mom said. Of course she was joking, but Tim was elated! He hadn't caused this situation on purpose, but maybe, just maybe he had unwittingly set the stage for his fantasy to come true!
Tim didn't go to school the next day. Instead, his mother had made an emergency call to the doctor, who had said he would see them at the hospital ER first thing in the morning. As soon as the doctor saw the problem first hand, he made two immediate proclamations. "We'll give him a regimen of antibiotics to combat the infection," he said. "You will have to be circumcised, Tim. Do you know what that means?"
"No, not exactly," the frightened little boy replied. He did, he knew precisely what it meant, but he was afraid if he admitted he knew what that word meant, the next question would be how he knew, and for that he had no acceptable answer. He knew because, even at eight years old, Tim had been noticing other boys, and of course he noticed that they looked different that he did. Tim would never have said anything, but when an eleven year old noticed the tiny uncircumcised dick at the urinal at school, he had commented about it to its owner. Tim was embarrassed as usual, but the other little boy had explained to him that it wasn't any form of deformity, just that his parents hadn't had the skin cut off like most did at that time and place. Tim had even allowed the other kid to touch his prized possession and had enjoyed the experience thoroughly, but to his disappointment it had ended there.

"We're going to have to cut this skin off," the doctor explained. "It's a fairly minor procedure, and you won't feel much of anything. Your penis will be sore for a few days, but I doubt it will be as sore as it is right now."

Tim was amazed at how quickly the infection cleared up as soon as he began taking the strong antibiotic. There were pills he had to take morning and night, plus an antiseptic creme he had to rub into the infected area three times a day. Of course the rubbing in of that creme induced an instant hardon and felt incredible! He was looking forward to next week's surgery, even if it wasn't as radical as he had hoped. In the back of his mind he had thought that maybe he would lose the whole thing as his mother had told him. "You said they were gonna cut the whole thing off," he questioned his mother.
"No, honey, I was just joking," his mother said with a chuckle. "They wouldn't do that to you. You're gonna be needing that thing."

"Emily doesn't have one and she seems to get along ok," he countered. Emily was Tim's cousin, a year younger than he. It had been the sight of Emily's smooth uncluttered crotch, seen a year ago, that had been the catalyst that had started Tim's obsession in the first place; or at least made him aware that such an obsession existed. They had been camping with Tim's parents, and the two children had been sent out into the forest to use the bathroom before they went to bed. Tim had pushed down his pants and began to pee as he'd always done, while Emily had sqatted as she had always done.

"What are you doing?" an astonished Tim inquired as he heard the stream of urine start.
"I'm goin' to the bathroom," Emily replied. "What's it look like?"
One thing had led to another, and the two children ended up comparing their equipment. From that day on, Tim had been determined to lose the parts that Emily had said looked weird! He had to agree, her crotch looked so much smoother and uncluttered!

"Emily's a girl," Tim's mother responded. "Girls aren't supposed to have those things!"
"So why do I haveta have ‘em?" Tim demanded.
"Timmy, honey, do you want to be a girl?"
"NO!" Tim replied indignantly. "I just don't see why I gotta have all that stuff between my legs! If Emily can live without all that stuff, why can't I?"

His mother hadn't really given a satisfactory answer, stating simply that the time would come when he would realize that he needed that equipment. Well, he was 16 now and the desire to lose his tool had only grown more intense! It seemed to him that his cock, while providing him with the indescribable pleasures of masturbation, had also gotten him into trouble more than any other body part he possessed. But although he often used that trouble as an excuse, Tim knew deep down that it was more than that. It was simply a deep seated desire that he couldn't understand: a desire to be cockless.

Tim had taken up the discussion with Larry when he came to see his friend. Larry seemed to know more about female anatomy than Tim even though he hadn't seen a girl exposed as Tim had. He explained to Tim, in his eight year old understanding, that if they cut his dick off it would turn him into a girl. Tim didn't think that was true, but with his limited knowledge he could not come up with a reason why not. "I don't think like a girl," he finally thought to say.
"You would if you were one," Larry countered.
"But I'm not!" Tim argued. "I don't wear dresses and I don't have long hair and I don't use makeup, and I don't scream when I see a big bug..."
"But if they cut your dick off you WILL do all those things!" Larry tried to explain. Still Tim didn't think so. He didn't know why, but he seemed to know that there was a lot more to being a boy than just having that little appendage in his crotch. And besides, he didn't want his balls off, just his dick. The little eight year old didn't even know why he had balls in the first place, but he was quite content to leave them right where they were.

The day Tim was circumcised was much more of a non-event than Tim had expected. He was lying on a gurney, his entire crotch open and exposed for all to see and he didn't care much for that; but the surgery had gone well - too well for Tim. The doctor had slipped a small plastic thing he called a bell under his foreskin and over the end of his penis, then applied some sort of clamp device and simply cut around the ridge of tight skin. A few stitches later, and Tim was circumcised. He was so disappointed he wanted to cry! All that stupid doctor had to do was make one small slip with his knife and Tim's dick would be history. But no! He had to do the job perfectly! Stupid doctor, Tim remembered thinking.

* * *

Tim was getting sleepy now, in spite of the aching hardon he was lying on. He thought about taking care of it again, but 6 AM came so early! Besides, he knew that would be his very first act in the morning. He loved his first jerkoff in the mornings, usually performed in the shower. So he simply took his throbbing member in his hand and held it as he drifted off to sleep, knowing he would dream of being the cockless stud he wanted to be.

NEXT: II Eric's Plan