How Does a Eunuch Masturbate?

By Sporus

I try to focus on what I still possess rather than what I’m missing. I love sucking cocks; I still have my mouth. I love to kiss and suck and worship another man’s cock and balls. I love putting another man’s cock between my legs, facing one another, our pubic bushes touching, going in and out. I love getting fucked lying on my back, my legs in the air, the other man’s bush plowing into mine while his cock reams my ass and gets me off. Not always, but once in a while.

Getting off while I’m alone is more problematic. The skin where my scrotum and penis used to be is still sensitive and it’s fun to touch it and rub lube over it. I still have little pockets of erectile tissue that swell and create pressure on some leftover nerve endings. But it offers nothing leading to release. For this I must use a dildo. I use a 7”, rather thick. I hold the dildo in one hand from the front, my wrist and forearm slamming into my empty crotch. I smoke pot, I watch gay pornos, I snort poppers. Sometimes I get off.

I still have my nuts; they were moved inboard when my penis and scrotum were removed.

It’s so strange to walk around the beach in Venice, CA, look at the men and the women, and feel like neither. An emptiness between my legs while I look at straight boys who would fuck me in a minute if they knew what I had between my legs and gay boys who would be horrified.

I spend hours looking at pictures of cute naked boys on the internet, trying to remember what it was like to have a penis. What it was like to piss standing up. What it was like to jerk off. To get a blow job. To fuck.

I can’t remember.