“Sure,” one of them, a natural blond, dressed in shorts, an O’Neil t-shirt, and flip-flops, said, opening the right-hand door, and sliding into the front seat beside me. I figured them for surfers or wannabes, considering their deep tans, sun bleached hair, and their surfer t-shirts. Both of them were cute. I felt my dick stir.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not queer; I like girls as much as the next guy; but cute, sixteen year-old surfer kids are hot. Lean and muscled, neither of them had an ounce of fat on him.

Now, the last time I had a sixteen year-old, I was fifteen, and it was he that had me. At least, he seduced me. It was my first sexual experience with a girl or boy. I was eighteen before I fucked my first girl.

I wasn’t planning on doing anything with either of these boys, but that didn’t stop me from fantasizing. “Where you going?” I asked, as the blond kid slid in beside me, stealing a glance at his crotch as he sat down, visualizing what his shorts concealed, blond pubic hair, cock, and balls.

How big was his cock when hard? Did his balls hang low or were they tight against his dick?

“Carlsbad,” he said, “you going that far?”

“Sure,” I said. I hadn’t been, but I was, now. The kid turned me on. I glanced in the rearview mirror at his friend, now seated in back. He had sun bleached, brown, hair, and was about as cute as his friend. Choosing between them would be hard, if it came down to that, not that I expected that it would. I didn’t intend to come on to them.

“I’m Joe,” I said, holding out my hand to the blond boy.

He shook it. “I’m Eric.” He gestured with a tilt of his head toward the backseat. “That’s Scott.”

I caught Scott’s eye in the rearview mirror. “Hi, Scott,” I said. I raised my arm up, my fist beside my ear, and he gave me a fist bump.

When I came to the onramp to the freeway, I saw two girls alongside it hitchhiking. One was OK; one was cute as hell; and they were legal, eighteen or nineteen, at least. “Shall we give them a ride?” I asked the boys.

“Sure – yeah,” they said. I stopped for the girls.

“Where you headed?” the cute one asked.

“Carlsbad,” I said, although if they were going farther, I figured I could take them, as long as they weren’t going as far as L.A. I didn’t want to drive into L.A.

“Cool,” she said, “that’s where we’re going.”

“Hop in,” I said.

Scott slid over, and the girls slid in beside him.

We talked. They had to get home to go to a party, Sarah, the cute girl said. “Do you guys get high?” she asked.

Eric glanced at me, apparently waiting for me to answer. I guess he was unsure how I would answer. Although I was only twenty-six, I was obviously the oldest. “Sometimes,” I said.

“Yeah, sure,” said Eric.

“Do you do acid?” she asked.

“I smoke pot,” said Eric. “I’ve never done acid. Scott did once.”

She looked at Scott. “Did you like it?”

Watching Scott in the rearview mirror, I saw him shrug. “It was cool at first,” he said, “but it kind of freaked me out at the end.”

“You probably had some bad acid,” she said. Again, in the rearview mirror, I saw her look in my direction. She caught my eye in the mirror. “You ever done it?”

“Yeah,” I said. “It’s been a while, but I used to do it all the time.”

“You guys want some?”

“You mean, now?” I asked.

“Sure, why not?” Sarah asked. Beth, her friend, said little. She let Sarah do all the talking.

“I got to drive,” I said. By that time, we were probably thirty minutes away from Carlsbad.

“We’ll be home before you get off on it,” Sarah said, and if you can’t drive afterward, you can stay at our place.”

“I thought you were going to a party,” I said.

“We’ll have our own party,” Sarah said. Watching her in the rearview mirror, I saw her place her hand on Scott’s thigh, sliding it up to his crotch. “Do you want to party?” she asked him.

“Sure,” he said.

“Don’t you guys have to be home or something?” I asked. Even if I weren’t the one giving the boys acid, even if I weren’t the one having sex with them – although the thought certainly crossed my mind – if they freaked out on acid, or their parents found out, I would be in as much trouble as the girls, who gave them the acid.

“Nah,” said Scott. “We’re supposed to be camping out with some friends. We’re not expected back until Sunday night.”

“Cool,” said Sarah. She pulled a perforated sheet of blotter acid out of her purse, tore a tab off, and told Scott, “Stick out your tongue.”

He did, and she placed the tab of acid on his tongue. Fuck, I thought, but I was excited about the prospect of a party, that I was sure would become a sex party, with the two girls and the boys. Who knew what might happen, if we were all high?

She placed a tab on her own tongue, handed one to Beth, told Eric to stick out his tongue, placing a tab on it, when he did, and said afterward to me, “Your turn.” I stuck out my tongue and she placed a tab onto it.

I was just beginning to feel the first effects of it, when we pulled into her driveway. Scott was giggling already. Fuck, I hope he doesn’t freak out.

Beth turned on the music, loud acid rock, as soon as we walking into the den. “Sit down,” said Sarah. “I’ll get us some drinks.” She grinned, looking at the boys, “You guys are old enough to drink, aren’t you?”

“Hell, yes,” said Eric.

She came back a few minutes later with a tray of drinks and passed them around. I was really beginning to feel the acid.

I like acid, and this was definitely good acid. I was freaking out a little about the boys, because they were underage; but the prospect of sex games with them – even if we were all just screwing the girls – was what had my dick hard; and it was hard. It throbbed.

The drink was strong; I think it had tequila in it. I almost immediately felt the effects of it. The boys did, too. They both laughed and giggled.

Sarah pulled Scott to his feet. He watched as she pulled down his shorts. As I suspected, he wore no underwear. As she touched his cock, he shot, long ropes of cum shooting from his dick. “Fuck,” he said.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Sarah, “I’m sure you’ve got more where that came from. She looked at me. “Joe wants to suck your cock, don’t you, Joe?”

I looked at the kid’s cock. After he’d cum, it had drooped some but was hard again. He had a nice cock, probably a good seven inches long, longer than mine. I had a respectable six inches but no more.

“You do want to suck his cock, don’t you, Joe?” she said.

I nodded.

“You’ll let Joe suck your cock, won’t you, Scott?”

Scott nodded. She pulled off his t-shirt. Other than a patch of brown hair under each arm, brown pubic hair, and a few hairs around his tits, he was hairless. He was beautiful.

“Get your clothes off, Joe,” she said. I obeyed, dropping my pants and underwear to the floor, stepping out of them, and pulling off my t-shirt. I kicked off my shoes. I wasn’t wearing socks. I was naked, and I was as hard as Scott.

“His dick’s bigger than yours, Joe,” Sarah said. I shrugged. I didn’t care. If anything, I was glad he had a big dick. I wanted to slide it into my mouth; I wanted it up my ass. Before the night was over, I would have it up my ass. Before the night was over, I’d have both their dicks up my ass. Maybe, I’d have mine up theirs.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Beth had Eric naked. Her hand was around his dick, and he was shooting.

I pulled Scott to the floor, sliding up, until I was on top of him, my dick grinding into his. I kissed him, not knowing how he’d respond, but he kissed me back, opening his mouth, allowing me to slide my tongue into it. His tongue played tag with mine.

Sarah laughed. She stood, still clothed, watching us.

Kissing Scott’s neck, I slid down, tonguing his tits, his navel, pausing when I came to his dick. Precum dripped from it. I touched my tongue to it, tasting the bland saltiness of it. It was almost sweet.

As I slid his cock into my mouth, he came, his hot cum spurting into my mouth. The kid was quick on the trigger, but I was at his age, too.

“Sorry,” he said. I didn’t know whether he was sorry for cumming so soon or for shooting into my mouth. I was sorry he’d cum so soon, but I was glad he’d shot into my mouth. I liked the taste of his cum.

“Don’t sweat it,” I said. I scooted around, so my crotch was at his head, my dick in his face. I didn’t know what he’d do, but if he was as turned on as I was, maybe he’d suck my dick.

I’d never been so turned on. I didn’t know whether it was the acid, the drink, or his hot, young, body, or a combination of all of them, but I wanted to fuck and suck. I wanted to fuck and suck all of them, even Beth, who hadn’t particularly turned me on before.

Right now, though, I wanted Scott. I was going to fuck him, before we were through. One way or the other, I was going to fuck him.

I felt Scott’s hot lips close around the head of my dick. I paused, my hand on his cock. I wanted it in my mouth, but I was afraid he’d cum again, too soon.

“That’s it,” I encouraged him. “Slide it into your mouth. I felt his teeth on the shaft of my dick. The kid had probably never sucked cock.

Scott slid my dick into his mouth, gagging when it stuck the back of his throat. I kissed the head of his cock, but didn’t slide it into my mouth, until I felt I was close to cumming; then I slid it in, allowing it to slide down my throat. I came, shooting into his mouth. As I did, so did he.

I heard Sarah clap. I glanced over at Eric. Beth was riding him.

I scooted up and around. A bead of my cum was at the corner of Scott’s mouth. He had swallowed most of it. I don’t know whether the kid was gay or whether it was the acid and the booze, but I suspected I wouldn’t be the last guy he’d have. I wanted to see him and Eric go at it, before we were through.

I kissed him. “Raise your legs,” I said. He did, and spitting on my hand, I moistened his hole.

He yelped, a little “Oh,” as the head of my dick slid past his sphincter into his hot, tight, hole.

Holding onto his hips, I rammed my dick into his hole. Precum leaked from his. “Oh, oh, oh,” he said.

“You like it, don’t you?” I asked.

He nodded. “Oh fuck,” he said, and he came, spurting high onto his chest. The kid could shoot. I’d seen that, when he’d cum at Sarah’s touch, and I’d felt his hot cum hit the back of my throat. This was what, his fourth time? Hell, he was probably good for another six or seven, at least. I would have been at his age. At his age, I jacked off five or six times a day. I still jacked off two or three times a day.

I was going to fuck him again, but Sarah grabbed my shoulder. “Don’t neglect Eric,” she said. “Beside, Beth wants a shot at Scott.”

Beth was naked from the waist down, Eric’s semen dripping down her leg. Sarah was fully dressed.

Crawling over to Eric, I slid on top of him, kissing him, slipping my tongue into his mouth. As had Scott, he kissed me back. I raised his legs, sliding my dick into another tight, hot, hole. He moaned, but he didn’t cum as Scott had. He was pretty well out of it.

I looked down at his cock. It was shorter than mine but thicker – quite a bit thicker. I couldn’t close my hand around it. I wanted it up my ass.

“Your turn, Eric,” I said pulling him on top of me, lining his dick up with my hole. This time, I was the one that yelled, when he pushed its head past my sphincter. Once in, though, it felt great. It filled me, pressing against my prostate.

I’m sure I would have cum, if he had lasted longer, but it didn’t take long for him to cum, so I had to jerk off. He was too far out of it by that time to do me.

I fucked him again, but by that time, his eyes were rolled back; he had passed out. Fucking him didn’t even get his dick hard.

Looking over at Scott, I saw his dick slide out of Beth’s snatch, along with some of his cum. His eyes were closed; and he moaned.

Wanting more of him, before he passed out, too, I tried to stand, but I was fucking woozy. What the fuck had been in that drink? Acid had never affected me like this. I collapsed onto the floor, rolling onto my back.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Sarah leaning over me. “Feeling a little out of it, are we?” she said.

“What the fuck?” I said, slurring my words. I felt numb all over.

“Roofies,” she said. “I put Roofies in your drinks.”

“Why?” I tried to say, but I couldn’t get the words past my lips.

She took an elastrator out of a bag; I’d seen pictures of them online. Fitting it with a green ring – with Beth’s help – she slipped the ring over Scott’s balls, releasing it up close to his dick. She slid on a couple more below that one; then put a couple on his dick, next to where it joined his crotch.

Eric was next; soon his balls and cock sported rings.

Then it was my turn. I felt the first ring snap around the top of my scrotum. It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would, but I wasn’t feeling much of anything. I was pretty well out of it.

What was she going to do, leave us banded, until our cocks and balls fell off?

But, I was soon to find out that she had something else in mind.

I had passed out; I don’t know how long it had been; but it was dark out, so it had been several hours.

I felt a tug at my balls. They hurt; even with sensations dulled by the effects of the drug, they hurt; so did my cock.

Sarah knelt between my spread legs. My balls and my dick were black. She had a small, sharp, knife in her hand. “Ah, you’re awake,” she said. “That’s good. I wouldn’t want you to miss this.”

With that, she cut my balls off, sac and all, right below the bands. It hurt, not as much as you would think, but it hurt. A little, dark – almost black – blood seeped from my ball sac. She took out my balls, dangling them by the cords in front of my face. “Hope you enjoyed fucking the kids,” she said. Obviously, it was your last fuck. She cut off my dick.

“Why?” I managed.

“I have my reasons,” she said, but didn’t bother to explain what they were.

Moving to Scott, she cut off his balls. He awoke, but passed out again, when she cut off his cock.

Eric was last, but the same happened to him. He moaned, when she cut off his balls and cock but didn’t awaken. She put our cocks and balls in a bag.

Standing over me, she said, “I don’t know how much of this you’ll remember; Roofies fuck up short-term memory; but I’ve left the name of a doc in T.J. that will trim you up, so you don’t have to go to a local doctor. I don’t think you’ll want to do that. I’m sending these – she held up the bag – to the cops. Your DNA is all over their parts, and their DNA is all over yours. I hope a sample of your DNA isn’t on file. If it is, you’re screwed. And, by the way, the owners of this house are on vacation. No one can connect Beth and me to it. The boys probably won’t remember much of this; and if you do, I don’t think you’ll want to talk to the cops. They don’t much like guys that fuck kids.”

With that, she slipped a pill into my mouth and held my nose, until I swallowed it. I saw her do the same to the boys.

I awoke to the smell of vomit. Eric had thrown up. Upon smelling it, I puked, tried to stand but couldn’t. I crawled to the bathroom.

The bands were still on what were left of my cock and balls. The skin below them was black. I had to pee. My bladder felt like it was about to explode.

Finding some fingernail scissors in the medicine cabinet, I cut off the bands on my dick, expecting a torrent of blood, but other than some seepage, there wasn’t much.

Sitting on the toilet, I directed the stream of pee into the toilet by holding my hand in front of my crotch. Otherwise, I would have peed all over the floor.

I found a Kotex and taped it to my groin. My cock was seeping blood.

Back in the den, Scott was stirring. He moaned, “Oh…oh…oh…,” but his eyes were still closed. I had a hell of a hangover. Given that he had less body weight, I could only imagine how he’d feel.

I dressed. I wanted to be out of there before they awoke. Maybe I’d call 911 from down the road a ways.

Driving to Tijuana, I went to the doctor. I had remembered most of what happened, and I had the slip of paper with his name and address on it Sarah had left.

It cost me my car and $2000 besides. They would part out the car, so he didn’t need documents for it. Hell, the car was only a year old; but given that the boys had been in it, I was best rid of it.

The boys survived. Although the papers hinted at what had been done to them, they never actually said they’d had their cocks and balls cut off. They did say they’d been sexually assaulted, and that the police were looking for a man in his twenties. They didn’t have a good description of either the man or his car. As Sarah said, Roofies mess with short-term memory.

Sometimes, I have trouble remembering. I doubt I would recognize either Beth or Sarah, were I to see them on the street. I remembered the boys, because I saw them the next morning.

I didn’t go near Carlsbad for the better part of a year, but one day I got an email:

Joe: How’s life without a cock and balls? You should come up to Carlsbad to check out your boys and see how they get along without them. You’ll probably find them on one of the gay beaches. I kept yours as a souvenir. It’s pretty pitiful, now. Maybe I’ll see you there; but you probably won’t see me. - S

It had to be from Sarah, although I couldn’t trace it. She had forwarded it though a proxy of sorts. I didn’t know whether she was in Carlsbad or whether she was fucking with me, but I decided to go there.

I’d grown a beard since then, and I dyed it and my hair, so if I ran into the boys or into Sarah, they wouldn’t recognize me.

The second week of hitting beaches around Carlsbad I saw them. Like me, they must have been on HRT. They looked like other boys, except there was no bulge at their crotches. I wondered if others noticed. Did their friends know they had neither cocks nor balls? Did girls at their school know they had none?

I wondered if they got horny. I did, if I let my testosterone levels get high enough. If they did, how did they get off? A big enough cock up my ass, if the guy could hold off long enough, would get me off. Spunk even spurted from my pee hole.

The two boys were alone, each lying on a towel in the sand. A man, in his twenties, walked up to them. They talked for a while; the man handed something to Scott, and he and Eric walked off toward the bushes behind the sand. This was a gay beach. I saw other couples strolling toward the bushes.

Once they were out of sight, I walked over to where Scott sat alone. Looking up at me, he said, “See something you like?”

“Yeah,” I said. “How much?”

“$100,” Scott said.

“That’s a lot,” I said.

“I’m special,” Scott said.

“What makes you so special?”

“Other than my friend, you won’t find another boy like me.”

“How’s that?” I asked.

“I don’t have a cock,” he said.

“Are you a transsexual?” I asked.

“No,” he said. “Except for having no cock or balls, I’m all boy.”

“Maybe I like cocks,” I said.

“Then find another boy. There are plenty of them around that have cocks and will let you suck them.”

“How old are you?” I asked.

“Old enough,” he said, “but not too old, if you know what I mean. There are no cops around; besides, they don’t fuck with me.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Guess they feel sorry for me.”

“Why would they feel sorry for you.”

“Because some guy cut off my cock and balls,” he said.

“Did they catch him?” I asked.

“Nah, I don’t remember much about it.”

“What’s it like not to have a cock?” I asked.

“Do you want to talk, or do you want to fuck?” he asked. “Either way, it’s $100.”

I pulled five twenties out of my wallet, handing them to him. “Let’s talk,” I said.

“Sit down,” he said, glancing at my crotch. I had padded it, and he couldn’t tell I no longer had cock and balls.

“What do you want to know?” he asked. I guess others had been curious enough to pay $100 for answers to their questions.

“What’s it like to be a kid your age and not have a cock or balls? Do you hate it?”

He shrugged. “Not as bad as I did. You get used to it after a while, and I can get off, if the guy has a nice cock and knows how to use it. If you want to fuck, we can, and I’ll only charge you another $50. You’re a good looking guy.”

“Were you gay before you got chopped?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I never thought I was, but I might have been. I liked looking at guys.”

“Had you ever done anything with a guy?”

“Me and Eric jacked off; sometimes we jacked each other off; but we’d never sucked cock or anything.”

“Did the guy that chopped you, fuck you or make you suck cock?”

“I don’t remember much about it. He fucked me; they found his spunk up my ass; and I think I remember sucking him. I don’t know for sure. I was really fucked up. They said he gave me Roofies. I think I had a hit of acid, too.”

“He gave you acid?”

“I don’t know. It seems I remember some girl giving me acid, but it’s all fucked up. It’s like a dream, all jumbled and fucked up, bits and pieces that don’t quite mesh together.”

“Maybe the girl gave you the Roofies.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know; maybe.”

“How do you know he castrated you? Do you remember it?”

“The cops said he must have. There was no evidence anyone else had been there. I probably just imagined the girls.”

“Do you remember anything about him?”

Scott looked at me. “He had brown hair and a bitchin car. You kind of remind me of him; maybe your voice or something reminds me of him; but your hair’s a different color.”

“How did you meet him?”

“We were hitchhiking. He picked us up.”

“Did he pick anyone else up?”

He thought for a minute, a faraway look in his eyes. “Yeah, he picked up a couple of girls. There were girls there. I remember now. She gave me a hit of acid. We were going to their house to party.”

“Maybe she gave you the Roofies, too.”

“Shit, I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe she did. I don’t remember.”

“Maybe she castrated you,” I said.

He stared at my face. “Who the fuck are you?” he asked.

I slipped down my shorts, revealing my mutilated crotch. “She castrated me, too,” I said. “I’m as much a victim as you are.”

“Fuck, you are the guy,” he said. I thought he was going to jump up and run.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” I said. “I didn’t hurt you then; I’m not going to hurt you now.”

“You fucked me, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but you seemed to like it, and I was as fucked up as you were. Sarah slipped us those Roofies, and we were high on acid besides. I would never have done it, if I hadn’t been fucked up out of my mind. Hell, she told me to fuck you.”

“Why did you leave?”

“Why do you think? Both of you had my spunk up your asses. Even if they didn’t get me for castrating you, they would have got me for fucking you. I called 911 from down the road a ways, so someone would find you.”

“Why did you come back?”

“I want to find them.”

“The girls?” he said.

“Yeah, especially that bitch, Sarah – or whatever the fuck her name is. She’s the one that castrated us.”

“Did one of them fuck me?” he asked.

“I think Beth did,” I said. “I’m pretty sure she fucked Eric. I think I remember her fucking you, too.”

“Did I fuck you?”

“I don’t think so. Eric fucked me, I think, but I don’t think you did. We sucked each other; I remember that; but I don’t think you fucked me.”

“So if I ever fucked anyone,” he said, “it was Beth, and I don’t even remember it. That sucks.”

“Do you like getting fucked?”

“Depends on the guy,” he said. “If he’s cool and has a nice dick, it’s good. Sometimes, I can get off. What do you do to get off?”

“Find a nice guy with a nice dick,” I said.

He laughed. “She kind of limited our options, didn’t she?”

“Do you wish you still had your dick?” I asked.

“Hell, yes,” he said. “I’m a fucking freak, now. Everyone at school knows I’ve been castrated. Some call me a fucking eunuch.”

“That’s what we are,” I said.

“I’m still a guy,” he said. “I just don’t have a cock or balls.”

“How did you get started…” Whoring, I started to say but didn’t.

“Selling myself?” he finished.

“Yeah.”

“I let some of my friends fuck me. Didn’t I get off, when you fucked me? Seems like I remember that.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I remember that you shot way up onto your chest. Hell, you almost hit your face with your spunk.”

He smiled. “I could shoot a lot farther than Eric. His spunk just dribbled out of his cock, but I could shoot from one end of the bathtub to the other.”

“I was kind of a dribbler myself,” I said. “I think my record was about four or five inches, and that was only if I hadn’t cum for a couple of days.”

“Well, I think I remember that – how good it felt; so I let one of my friends fuck me. It was cool; he has an eight inch dick; but he told everyone, and the word got around I was gay and that I had no cock or balls. Before long, the only friends I had were guys that wanted to fuck a eunuch. Friends besides Eric, that is. Before long, we figured we were better off selling it than we were giving it away.”

“How much money do you make?”

“A bunch, usually better than a thousand a week, and that’s apiece. Some guys don’t want us; they want a boy with a dick; but there are plenty that do. Not everyone gets to fuck a eunuch.”

“How old are you?” I asked.

“I’ll be seventeen in November,” he said.

“So you were only fifteen, when you were castrated?” I said.

“Yeah,” he said.

“How about Eric?” I said.

“Him, too,” Scott said.

“That’s young to lose your balls,” I said.

“Yeah,” said Scott. “Did you know they used to cut the balls off younger boys than that? They used to smooth cut them, like she did us. Do you know why she cut us?”

I was relieved he no longer thought I castrated him. I shook my head. “I don’t know. Some kind of grudge against men, I guess. Maybe she got raped or something.”

“I didn’t rape her,” Scott said. “Why take it out on me?”

I shrugged. “I didn’t rape her either,” I said. “Why take it out on me – or on Eric. I wonder how many other guys she’s castrated. She planned it. She had the house set up, waiting to find some guys to castrate. We just happened along. Too bad I stopped for them.”

“Why did you?”

“I don’t know. Sarah was cute. I remember that. You guys had made me hot. I was turned on by you, but you were kids. I wasn’t about to come on to you. I guess I thought I might get to fuck Sarah.”

“Did you?”

“No,” I said, “she didn’t fuck any of us. She didn’t even take off her clothes.”

“But you did get to fuck me.”

“Yeah…you were hot – horny, too. You came six or seven times.”

“I once jacked off nine times in one day,” he said.

“Are you pissed that I fucked you?”

“Nah, I don’t remember it much, but I think I liked it. I think I remember having an orgasm, while you fucked me. If you had a dick, I’d let you do it. How big was your dick?”

“A little over six inches – not as big as yours was. I think you had a good seven inches.”

He smiled. “Seven and a quarter inches. I measured it often enough.”

“I wish I’d let you fuck me,” I said. “I’m sure I would have, but Sarah pulled me off you and sent me Eric’s way. I think Beth wanted to fuck you; and by the time I finished with Eric, I was too fucked up to do any more. Besides, I think you were too out of it by then to fuck, anyway.”

“Beth didn’t fuck you?” he asked.

“No,” I said, “she only seemed interested in you boys. Beth was weird. She never said a word the whole time. Sarah was the only one that spoke, and she staged everything, like she was directing a movie. Under the influence of the acid and the Roofies, I couldn’t resist her, not that I didn’t want to fuck you guys; I did from the moment I saw you standing alongside the road; but I wouldn’t have, except for being fucked up and for Sarah. Hell, I was conscious when she cut off my cock and balls, and I couldn’t do anything but watch.”

“Shit,” Scott said, “I’m glad I was out when she cut mine off. Did it hurt?”

“Yeah, but I was so fucked up – kind of numb all over – that I couldn’t really connect with the pain. It was like I was watching a movie, watching it happen to someone else.”

“Had you fucked a girl before?” he asked.

“Yeah, lots.”

“How about guys?”

“Some,” I said, “not many. I was seduced when I was fifteen by a sixteen year-old. I thought I was in love with him, and we fooled around for months. We did a little bit of everything, fucked and sucked and all that.”

“What happened to him?” he asked.

“He found a fourteen year-old he liked better.”

“I was always hot for Eric,” Scott said. I used to daydream about sucking him. We jacked off together, but all Eric talked about was girls, and I liked them, too. I didn’t want to admit to myself I might be gay, so I never tried anything.”

“Isn’t Eric out getting fucked right now?”

“Yeah,” said Scott, “but he’s doing it for the money, and because he can’t get off any other way. He can’t usually get off getting fucked, but he can sometimes. Not having a cock is really fucking him up.”

“It’s not fucking you up?” I asked.

“Hell, yes, it’s fucking me up; but not as bad as it is Eric. He had a girlfriend he was fucking; and she left him, after he lost his cock. What girl wants a guy that has no cock or balls?”

“What’s it like to be fifteen and castrated?” I asked. “I hated that it happened to me, but at least the only people that know I am are my sex partners. No one at work knows I am. Hell, you guys were all over the papers, and although they didn’t come out and say you’d been castrated, the hinted at it pretty strongly. It didn’t take much reading between the lines to figure it out. What did you think when you woke up and found out you had no cock or balls?”

“The pain in my crotch woke me up,” said Scott. “My cock hurt like hell; my balls not so much; but mostly, I had to pee. I thought my fucking bladder was going to burst. It didn’t register at first that my cock and balls had been cut off. I was too fucked up to make it to the bathroom – I didn’t even know where the bathroom was – so I tried to pee where I was, on the floor; but the bands were tight around my cock, and I couldn’t. That’s when I realized I no longer had a cock. That freaked me out so much that I didn’t realize, at first, that my balls were missing, too. It wasn’t until I looked at Eric, at his empty crotch, that I realized my balls were gone.”

I crawled over to Eric and tried to wake him up but couldn’t. I had to pee so fucking bad that I got my Leatherman off my belt – it has some scissors on it – and cut off the bands. My cock started bleeding, but I didn’t care. I peed right there on the floor.”

“Not too long after, the cops came, and soon after them, an ambulance. The EMT guys put a bandage over my crotch and took me to the hospital. I was prepped and taken into surgery. The last I remember was one of the docs sticking an IV into my arm. I woke up with a bandage on my crotch and a catheter into my bladder.”

“When the bandage was changed,” Scott continued, “I saw that they’d cut off what was left of my cock. Sarah had left me about an inch, but the bands had killed most of that, and they had to cut it off.”

“I spent the rest of the summer healing; hell of a way to spend the summer; but at least, I didn’t miss any school.”

“Are you getting testosterone?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he said, “my doctor and my shrink recommended it. They figured I needed a shrink after having my cock an balls cut off, and I guess I did. I was pretty freaked out about it.”

“I’m glad I am taking it, I guess – I wouldn’t want to get fat or grow tits – but I got horny and couldn’t do anything about it; hard to jack off without a cock. Are you taking it?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I get shots.”

“Do you get horny?”

“Hell, yes,” I said.

“What do you do?” he asked.

“Find a good looking guy with a nice cock, or if I can’t I use a vibrator.”

“One of those that look like a cock?”

“Yeah,” I said. “They work pretty good, actually. You never tried one?”

“Nah,” he said. “They won’t sell them to kids. Will you buy me one?”

“Sure, no prob,” I said. “What happened when you started school?”

“Fuck…I was freaked out about having to go to school. I figured everyone could tell by looking at me I no longer had a cock or balls, even though I wore baggy pants. I’d read all the shit in the papers about me and Eric. Although the one that said we’d been sexually mutilated didn’t mention our names, the first article about us had. It didn’t take a genius to connect the two articles. Sure enough, as soon as I walked in the door, a couple of guys walked up wanting to know what you’d done to me.”

“But I didn’t do anything to you.” Well, I guess I had; I’d fucked him; but that’s not what I was thinking about. I hadn’t cut off his dick and balls.

“I know,” said Scott, “but they’d only mentioned a guy in the papers; and neither Eric or me had said anything about the girls to the cops. Until today, I wasn’t even sure they were real.”

“You are now, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” he said, “I remember picking them up; and I remember that we were going to Sarah’s house for a party. I remember getting stoned on the acid; but I don’t remember much else, until I woke up without a cock. I kind of remember you fucking me; but it’s like it was a dream.”

“You’re not going to tell anyone I fucked you, are you?”

He shrugged. “I’ve been fucked by a hundred guys since then; what does that time matter? Like I said, if you had a cock, I’d let you do it again.” He grinned. “And I wouldn’t even charge you.”

“Does that mean you’re going to give me back my $100?”

Still grinning, he shook his head. “Let’s just say that’s payment for that time.”

“Cool,” I said. “So what happened at school?”

“At first, I denied that anything had happened to me, but Eric had to go and tell Karen – she was his girlfriend – that his cock had been cut off. She told some of her friends; and before long, it was all over school that both of us had been castrated.”

“Pretty soon, everyone, guys and girls, were treating us like we were freaks. Oh, most of them were nice enough; but some of the older guys called us eunuchs, ball-less wonders, and such; and everyone seemed to look at our crotches instead of at our faces. Hell, we could have charged admission to a strip show featuring us, and we would have packed the gymnasium with both girls and guys.”

“How did you end up getting fucked?” I asked.

“A guy I knew kept coming on to me. I knew he was gay and shit; but he’s cute - an obvious fag, but cute – maybe a little too swishy for my tastes; but no one else seemed interested. I damn sure didn’t have anything to offer the girls. I didn’t think I had anything he wanted, figuring he liked to suck cocks; but I figured I’d maybe suck his. Did I suck yours?”

“Yeah, I think so,” I said. “Everything’s a little hazy, but I think we did a 69.”

Actually, I clearly remembered shooting into his mouth, but in case it might piss him off that I had, I thought I’d better play at being as out of it as he was at the time.

“Yeah, I think I remember it,” he said. “You shot into my mouth, didn’t you?”

“I think so,” I said.

“You got my cherry all the way around, didn’t you?”

“I guess,” I said. “I sucked you off, too. From what you said, I guess it was your first time for that, too.”

“My first and only time,” he said. “At least, I had my dick sucked. I just wish I could remember it.”

“I sucked it twice, actually,” I said. “The first time, you came almost as soon as I took it into my mouth.”

“Did you swallow my cum?”

“Yeah,” I said, “twice.”

“Cool. I wish I could remember it.”

“So, what about the gay guy?” I asked.

“Well, he thought he was getting my cherry; and he was turned on because I was a eunuch. He didn’t even want me to suck him. He just wanted to fuck me. I didn’t think I’d like it, but I did; and the second time he fucked me, I came. After that, I was hooked.”

“How did you get started selling it?” I asked

“Jared – that’s the guy’s name – was selling it to some older guys, and he thought some of them would be hot for me. He said I could probably get $100 for a fuck, maybe more, if I threw in a blowjob, so I let him hook me up with one of them. Pretty soon, I was taking in a good $1000 a week.”

“Don’t you worry about AIDS and shit like that?”

“I don’t let anyone near me, unless he’s wearing a condom.”

“Condoms can break,” I said.

“So, you let guys fuck you,” he said. “Don’t you worry about it?”

I shrugged. “I’m not fucking ten guys a week. I might stick with the same guy for several months.”

“Sure, there’s a risk,” he said, “but I’m careful about who I let fuck me; besides, what do I have to look forward to? I can’t have kids, get married, or ever fuck a girl.”

“Maybe you’ll fall in love with a guy. Lots of guys never get married, never fuck girls, or have kids.”

“The only guy I ever loved was Eric,” Scott said, “and he doesn’t have a dick; besides, he’s more fucked up about being castrated than I am. You should see his face, when he sees Karen and her boyfriend together. Sometimes, I’m afraid he might kill one – or both – of them or kill himself. By the way, don’t tell him who you are, when he comes back. Let me tell him later. He still thinks you castrated him. If he remembers Sarah or what’s her name, he hasn’t said so.”

“Maybe I’ll take off, then, and give you a chance to clue him in. I want to see you guys again, though. If I give you my email address, will you email me?”

“Why?” he said. “Why do you want to see us again?”

“I don’t know. Maybe this is enough; but Sarah emailed me. Maybe she’ll contact one of you.”

“How can we help you? I don’t even remember what she looks like; and why do you want to find her?”

“Why do I want to find her? I wanted to cut her fucking tits off – slit her throat – something; but I don’t know, now.”

“Do you think she’s here? That was a year ago. She could be anywhere.”

“I don’t know. She told me to come here; she did it to us here in Carlsbad, and you live here. She knew those people that owned that house were going to be gone; so either she lives here in Carlsbad, or she knows - or knew -someone here that knew they were going to be gone. Maybe she’s nowhere around; maybe she’s long gone; but I have nowhere else to start.”

“Why now” he asked. “Why have you waited a year?”

“In that email, Sarah told me I should come up and see you guys. She might be here in town somewhere. She told me where to find you, so I guess she’s been watching you. Hell, for all I know, she’s watching us now.”

At that, both of us looked around. Even though it was a gay beach, straight people used it, and several girls were in sight, some sitting on towels with a guy, some with another girl. I didn’t see anyone that looked like Sarah or Beth, but I wasn’t sure I would recognize either, if I did see one of them. I had dyed my hair. They could have also dyed theirs; besides, my memory of that day was clouded by the Roofies she had given me. If I couldn’t recognize her, I knew he couldn’t. He remembered less of that day than I did.

“What would you do, if you found her?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I wanted to kill her, but now, I don’t know. I guess I’ve got used to not having a cock – or balls. I can get off getting fucked; and I like it. If anything, orgasms are better now. Before, I just felt them in my dick; now, I feel it all over.”

“Yeah, me, too. I don’t cum every time, but when I do, it’s fucking great, better than I ever had jacking off, and I wouldn’t be making the money I do, if she hadn’t cut off my cock, so I don’t know what I would do either. In a way, she did me a favor, I guess. I think that’s why I didn’t get upset when you told me who you were. I’d never tell Eric this, but I like not having all that junk down there.”

“As I remember, you had a nice cock.”

Scott shrugged.

“It was OK. I wasn’t ashamed of it or anything. I knew it was bigger than average. It was longer than Eric’s. I just don’t miss it any longer.”

He ran his hand over his smooth crotch.

“Shit,” I said, “If I had a dick, I’d fuck you.”

“If you had a dick, I’d let you.”

Looking up, I saw Eric coming back. “Here comes Eric.”

“You’d better leave,” he said. “I don’t think he’d recognize you, but we shouldn’t take that chance. Give me time to fill him in. Now, he would want to kill Sarah. He hates not having a cock. Losing it cost him his girl. He doesn’t get off; and he’s pissed all the time. I have your email address. I’ll be in touch.”

I stood and walked away, glancing back to see Eric sit beside Scott. He didn’t even look in my direction.

I looked around, wondering if any of the girls I saw were Sarah or Beth, realizing that I wouldn’t know either, if I saw her. What would I do, anyway? After talking to Scott, I realized I didn’t mind being a eunuch. In some ways, Sarah had done me a favor. I wouldn’t kill her if I found her. I might not thank her, but I wouldn’t kill her.

I’m glad Scott found some peace and accepted being a eunuch. I wish Eric could, but there was nothing I could do to help him. I wondered if I’d ever hear from Scott. At least, he knew I hadn’t castrated him. That eased my mind some.

I wondered if I’d hear from Sarah again. I wondered how many others she’d done. I’m sure we weren’t the only ones she’d castrated. She enjoyed doing it too much for us to be the only ones, and she was too good at it for us to have been the first ones she’d done.