Peace & Quiet 1, Revised

I should have known something was up when my dad came home early from work. Dad was a workaholic; he never came home early. About the only time I ever saw him was on Sundays, and then he slept in late. I guess from what kind of money he was making, a few hours of one afternoon wasn't too much to ask. He traded at the Exchange, and I guess the pressure finally got to him. I knew something was wrong when he came home on a Saturday morning only a few hours after going in to his office. I asked him what was wrong and he smiled at me and said, "I just liquidated and closed out. We're worth about $3 million now and that should do us for life, I'd hope. I'm done. Pack up your stuff, Sam, we're leaving the city." Then he caught me up in a rough embrace and hugged me. Then I really knew something had snapped.

We had lived in the city for as long as I could remember. Mom had died when I was little, and it had always been just me and dad and Helene, the nanny I had had for - well - a long time. I remember I just stared at him when he put me down and asked, "Where are we going, exactly?"

"Home, for some peace and quiet - finally." he replied. Then he just stood there, staring out the window at the skyline.

Then I just stood there. As far as my past 13 years, our high-rise apartment WAS home; the only one I knew. Where was this 'home' of his? My dad and I didn't spend all that much time together, and I was totally lost. He just roamed the apartment though, telling me how much I would like it and how nice it would be to get away. All the time, he had this strange look on his face. At that point I began to wonder if he'd been caught selling crack cocaine or something, but when I thought about it more, I figured he had accomplished what he wanted and maybe it was just a short vacation. I found out otherwise, later, when I came down with my backpack loaded up. He took one look at me and said, "NO, all of it. We're not coming back." He was looking at me like I was a total idiot, and it bothered me.

"This is a permanent move?" I asked. He nodded.

I just stood there again, mouth open.

"We're headed back to where I grew up, son. Rural Midwest, sorta south, near the mountains. Peace and quiet. Now go get the luggage and pack it ALL up. We're leaving tonight. What you don't get, the movers will bring. GO!"

The freakiest part was that he was smiling at me the whole time.

I went back upstairs and started going through my clothes. Rural? Midwest, sorta south? I had no clue where he was talking about, but I didn't like the sound of it. The first thing that ran through my mind was the film "Deliverance" and I shivered. I told myself it wouldn't be so bad. I also called myself a liar. I was a city boy and had been for my whole 13 years of life. And what about my friends? My school? My life? Dad didn't seem to care. "You'll adapt, " he assured me, "we all adapt."

I shivered again. He just looked at me and smiled. "The haircut and the earrings might not quite fit though, we'll see."

So wherever we were going, I thought, didn't like boys with pierced ears and buzz cuts?

"I guess you'll put on some weight and start looking better once we've been there a while, " he also said, sorta offhand.

Ok, I was thin and pale and short. All right, to be blunt I looked more like 9 or 10. I'll come right out and say it, I was a shrimp of a kid with only one goal - grow. I'd adapt, huh? But dad was serious. We left that night. I walked out of that building and the only life I'd ever known and haven't seen since. We went to the airport and got on a plane, and in what felt like a few minutes, since I fell asleep, we were 'there.' It wasn't good sleep though ... the crash, I mean landing, woke me up.

I kid you not, there were cows on the other side of the fence by the runway. It was dark; I think they were cows. The only cow I really was sure about usually came on a bun with a side of fries. I also expected something like O'Hare or LAX or the other airports I'd seen. There were little single-engine planes parked everywhere at this one and one vending machine. It served 12 oz. cans of soda for 50 cents. It was also pretty much deserted. I remember saying I couldn't wait for daylight. I was a city kid and this place frightened me. Still, I got a 7-UP from the machine. It tasted like the can.

Dad was still smiling. "Home at last."

I shivered again as we headed for the front where he assured me Uncle Harlan was picking us up. I had never met this man in my life - I assumed he was one of the old guys in the photo album. I wasn't wrong. He was OLD. I don't think I ever met anyone as old as Uncle Harlan. He was a bit stooped, but he was tall. And thin. His hair, which hadn't fallen out, was pure white and his face wasn't as wrinkled as I thought it should be. He wasn't at all like the old people I'd seen in the city. He looked, somehow, robust? Is that the word?

"Good to see you again, Fred, " he greeted my dad.

We were introduced; he shook my hand - almost breaking it - and helped us with the bags. He drove a truck. It was red. It had huge tires. Dad had to help me up into it. It was like being in something at a show or in a Four-Wheeler magazine. I asked him if it was for real. The old man smiled and started it. The exhaust pipes were deafening. I jumped. They both laughed at me. I was used to taxi cabs that were quiet.

"Boy really needs some peace and quiet, I think, " Uncle Harlan said. Dad agreed.

The roads, if you want to call them that, were rough. By the time we had only driven a few miles, I really had to pee from all the shaking and from drinking the half flat soda. They both laughed again as we stopped and Dad suggested I pick a tree, any tree, it was dark ... I thought about taking a leak in the park while they were laughing. This was rural America - God only knew what was out there in the dark. Give me muggers and winos any day ... I didn't want to do it. I made it as far as the truck's back bumper and ran back. Again, the lift in. "Kinda puny, ain't he?" the old man asked. He never once mentioned my strange appearance though, although he DID rub my head and commented on ‘my good haircut’.

"He'll fill out in time, " dad said.

"We'll see, " Uncle Harlan replied in a strange tone, and left it at that.

The ride there was awful. It took forever. Twisting winding roads (or lack thereof) and in no time, in the dark, I was lost. Even though the truck had enough auxiliary lights to bring down an airplane, I had no clue where we were going. The sun was coming up when we got there, finally, and I understood the term 'jet lag' at last. I was exhausted, but I had never seen the sun come up really. My idea of sunrise was seeing it coming over the towers on the block over. This was different.

It looked like the sky was on fire behind a row of black points - where the mountains began, and trees. I remember I stood there in awe, just watching it. It was mesmerizing. In fact, I must have gotten so into it that I fell asleep standing up, as I woke up in a huge bed somewhere inside a house that proved to also be huge once I got up and started looking it over. It had three above ground floors and a basement, which they called a 'cellar'. I didn't stop to think how I'd gotten undressed and into bed, I just assumed dad did it for me. For some reason, that made me feel strange. I know I lay there for a long time, naked under the warm quilt, thinking. I guess I wasn't used to his affection or attention. At that point I began to think that I just might like it here. There were also others living there in the mansion - as I called it - and quite a few locked doors as I soon found out.

The other residents turned out to be my Uncle Ray, my mom's younger brother, and his three sons. I hadn't seen them before except for the yearly pictures and never in person. They were very friendly and affectionate, though, and I wasn't ready to be hugged and handled by them. I guess it came with the territory. They looked at me strangely for a moment, but it passed. My cousins were, I'd later find out, 16 - 12 - and 10, although Jimmy - 16 - looked a bit older. He was tall, like Uncle Harlan was, but not like his dad Ray. Robby, the middle boy, was about my size, slightly bigger. Hell anyone was bigger than me, and Travis, the 10 year old, was my size. They all had grown out buzz cuts that had just started to look shaggy, and they were all so brown from being out in the sun that I felt out of place even more. It was embarrassing. My earrings fascinated Travis.

"Don't see too many boys around here with holes punched in the ears, " Uncle Ray informed me, "but that's no reason to change I guess. Fashions change."

“They do?” one of the boys asked.

I was doing a lot of shivering it seemed.

At lunch, which I nearly missed from oversleeping, I found out that my aunt, the boys' mom, had left Uncle Ray some years back for a 'city guy.' Uncle Harlan had never been married. Of course my first thought was 'probably gay.' Dad laughed and said he always expected it really, but that Ray was lucky to have kept the four sons they'd had. I found out that Denny, the oldest at 18, had just gone off to the state college. I could only imagine what an institute of higher learning that must be ... I guessed that eventually he'd come home for some break; colleges had lots of breaks, I’d read. Certainly he wasn’t driving every day back and forth. Needless to say, the plate that Uncle Harlan put in front of me had enough food on it to feed me for the week. I didn't even put a dent in it.

"Eat, boy, or you'll be a scrawny little thing forever, " he joked.

I smiled at him, a fake sort of smile, of course. He scared me a bit.

"We'll see, " I heard Uncle Ray say. I also heard Robby sigh and Jimmy laugh.

The first day there was spent touring the house, and most of the grounds. There were still a lot of locked doors on the first floor and the basement, which I had had high hopes for, was a rather boring laundry type room. The attic was an adventure waiting to happen, looking like the inside of the antiques shoppe on 4th and Cherry Streets in the city. I was intrigued. There so much old stuff up there!

Then we went outside and I got the full scope of the house. It was a solid brick fort. There must have been millions of dull red bricks in the walls, and I had never seen the arched windows in rows like they were, along with all the decorative woodwork all around the vast porch and roofline. Robby called it 'Italianate style' and that the house had been built in 1866, right after the Civil War. I then realized we were further south than I had thought, although the family here said that "I" was the one with the funny accent. I was used to big buildings, of course, but this house was a monster. Its very shape was threatening and made me want to run. It was stupid, I know, but it was almost like the house had a personality of its own. It was threatening somehow, like it was just saying ' I've got you now, Sam. I’ve got you, and you’ll never leave me. ' I suddenly realized that I was afraid of that big house and something inside it.

I hadn’t been that scared since my first trip to the roof of the Empire State Building.

We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening exchanging life stories, the half of theirs they didn't mention until much later. It was so strange, all of us sitting on the rail of that vast front porch and just looking out over meadows and trees and so much green stuff. Finally I had to get down, telling my cousins that it was beginning to hurt my nuts. I took a seat on a porch swing, which was something else new for me. Robby sighed again and that sigh somehow burnt itself into my brain, yet the three of them just shifted position a bit and didn’t' get down.

I thought they must be used to it.

We talked until evening, and the bugs came out with a vengeance. This was also something new – we didn’t have mosquitoes like THAT in the city! We went inside to escape that. I excused myself to use the bathroom, and had an odd thought once I had shut the door. The seat was down. There weren't any women in this house and I had yet to meet a man or boy who knew how to lower a toilet seat. I recalled Helene being on my case about that all the time. I intentionally left it up when I was done.

Supper was another feast, it seemed. For as much food as I was seeing, I couldn't believe how thin everyone was. "Metabolism, " Uncle Harlan said flatly, “Hard work, exercise, good diet. Good food, I mean, good for ya.”

I was still kinda afraid of that old man.

But I had never seen my dad so happy, or so much in person for that matter. It was just overwhelming. We ate, talked a bit - well the adults did. I didn't get much of it, but assumed that kids were to be quiet at the table and I was. Finally my dad looked at me and said, "You have a Doctor’s appointment tomorrow at 9 AM, so get to bed early. The lag might still make you want to sleep in and you need to be up and ready."

"Why? I'm not sick." I retorted.

"Smart mouth?" Uncle Ray asked.

Dad shook his head. "He didn’t mean anything. That’s just the way he talks. I haven't spent nearly enough time with him, Ray. Too busy making money. That's all going to change now that we're finally here. We'll get time together and peace and quiet."

I excused myself, shivering again, and Jimmy led me back to my 2nd floor room. It was easy to get lost in this mansion.

"Just go with it, don't be rude or nosey, cousin, " he told me, when I started to undress to get into bed. Having been on numerous teams and in many sports clubs, I was used to being naked around other boys for changing, showering, etc. Jimmy obviously hadn't, as he turned his back. "What?" I asked.

"I didn't wanna be rude, " he replied.

I remember I laughed and thought he was silly. "I don't have anything you don't, " I joked offhandedly.

He didn't reply immediately. He also didn't turn around until he heard me pull the blankets up.

"You don't wear a nightshirt?" he asked, obviously amazed.

I shook my near-shaven head at him. I was suddenly aware of my hoop earrings swinging just a bit. Jimmy pointed to a long, white shirt with a high collar and long sleeves draped over a chair by the bed. "Oh, " I said, "Is that what that is?"

"You sleep naked?" he asked.

I just nodded, wondering where he was going with it. "Oh, ok. Well, sometimes we swim nekkid, but that’s all." Then he said, "Goodnight. Hope you like it here."

"Jimmy, " I called as he was shutting the door. He paused. "You know why I'm going to the Doctor?"

He nodded. "Checkup, physical exam. We're all going this week, Sam, different days."

That made me feel a bit better, but not much. I drifted off to sleep trying to sort out the family tree here.

I remember I woke up with my usual short little hard-on and had to pee really bad. It was embarrassing to be 13 and look 9 or 10. The fact that my littlest cousin was as big as me didn't help. I got up, pulled on some boxers, and headed across the hall to the bathroom. I remembered what my cousin had said, and meeting one of them in the hall naked – or ‘nekkid’ as he called it – might upset him. That and my package was so damn small; I didn’t mind being naked, since I was used to being teased. I didn’t need it from my new family, though.

When I got there, I noticed the seat was down again. I didn't think about it much. I went, went back to my room, got dressed, and headed down to the breakfast table. It was there that I found the usual cooking food/fest going on, but I also found out I wasn't going to be allowed to eat. I had to go to the Doctor with an empty stomach. I didn't think much of the idea, but one look from Uncles Ray and Harlan silenced me. I had water as I watched them eat. Dad took me into town, if you could call it a town, in Uncle's red truck. In the daylight, it was pretty cool, all hopped up and powerful and loud and the stereo kicked ass. I was impressed.

Actually town wasn't that bad. It was more like a small suburb strip with some businesses along Main Street. I figured I could get used to it. We pulled up to the Doctors' office lot and went in. We only waited a few seconds after checking in. There was no one else there. "I had this appointment booked months ago, Sam, " Dad told me, "You need checked over. Now they're going to take a little blood, do a few tests - some of which you may not like, but it's all needed. You know you aren't really uh ... " and he let it hang.

"I'm a wimp, Dad, " I replied.

He looked stunned. "NO, " he retorted emphatically, "You're just small. We need to know why."

A male nurse led us back to the exam room, where Dad left me. He told me to strip, naked, and put on a flimsy exam gown. I did, sat on the table, and waited. It was split down the back, and he helped me tie it. I was a little bugged by it, but then he took my pulse, BP, listened to me breath, all the usual stuff, chatted a bit about previous doctors and then left. I didn't have much to tell him, I never got sick. It wasn't long after that the doctor came in, and the sight of him frightened me. This man was huge! I later found as we talked he had been a local football star, etc., etc . . . but to me he looked like something out of a low-budget horror movie. I expected the worst, and I got it.

After the usual run-through of medical history, records, etc. and the go-over of vital signs, he came right out and told me that we had some 'unpleasantries' to tend to. The first thing he did was rolling me over on my side on the exam table and part my gown to take my temperature. Of course I knew you could do it that way, but I'd never had it done before. It was more of a shock than anything; he said it was the most accurate way. I didn't say anything as he put some lubricant on my hole and slid the thermometer in. It was cold, and it felt weird.

The second was a blood test. Yea, I exaggerate, but the needle was about 2 feet long and he took at least 2 gallons of blood. I almost passed out. He also wanted a hair sample, which he only got about 1/8" of since I had just had a shave-down a few days before leaving the city. At this point I was really beginning to wonder until he went and got my dad and had him assure me nothing was going on that shouldn't. He then checked me for hernias, rolled my balls around in his fingers a few times, squeezed them, which hurt one and not the other, and gave my prick a good going over. What there was of it. He pulled on it, squeezed it, felt at the base of it, and just nodded and mumbled the whole time.

When I got hard, he just said, “Hmm,” and moved on. It wasn’t much of a hard-on.

I have to admit I didn't know how to feel about it. No one had ever touched me there before - well, the hernia part yes, the other stuff, no. Looking back I can say now that I liked it, but didn't realize it then. Then he whispered something to dad and they looked at me for a moment. I remember I said, "What now ?"

The answer came in the form of going into the adjoining room where I was put on another table, on my back, and I was X-rayed enough times to be considered bacon, I think. Then we went across the hall with the doc barking at someone to develop the films right away and to check the chemicals, etc. No waiting, onsite lab ... I was impressed with that. I wasn't impressed with the next phase though. Again, I got put up on a table, but this one had a rubber coating and recessed edges and it was much lower to the floor. As I got on, I was told to take the gown off. The room was also very warm. Dad nodded, I did, and he left the room saying it was ok and not to argue. His voice was suddenly stern and out of character. I sat there naked as the doctor asked me if I had ever had a good rectal exam and a "cleanout".

I shook my head. He then put on some new rubber gloves and rolled me over again. He lubed my butt, like he did for the temperature thing, but this time I felt him pressing his finger against my hole! I gasped and looked back. He told me to relax, and my dad just nodded at me. I didn’t’ know what to do! Very slowly, he pushed that finger up inside of me and started moving it around! It didn’t’ hurt, but it felt really … odd. It also felt good, now that I look back at it. I was glad I was on my belly and he couldn’t see me getting hard! He just kept moving that finger around inside of me, mumbling and “Mm-Hmm’ing” the whole time until he hit this one spot that made me yelp.

“Hurt?” he asked.

“N-no,” I answered, and it was true. It felt GREAT!

“Prostate’s fine,” he commented, and pulled his finger out, leaving me feeling empty and somehow let down.

Then he picked up a blue bulb-looking thing with a white nozzle on it and asked me if I knew what it was. I didn’t'. I found out soon enough. He had it filled with what he said was a very soapy warm water solution of salts, and that it was called an enema. To be brief, the pipe part went up my ass and he injected me with about a pint of something warm. It was a strange feeling. Then he made me lie there and hold it until I told him in no uncertain terms that I couldn't. I leaked a bit on his rubber-coated table and he let me up to use the bathroom. Of all the times for the seat/lid to be up ... needless to say it did its job on me!

When I was done, I came back to the table, and he told me we weren't done. I just stared at him. "Sam, that was just the preliminary. It just cleaned out your lower rectum. We need to clean out the rest. That's why you didn’t' get breakfast." He then motioned to a red bag with a long white hose hanging from a pole/hook. "It's the same warm soap mix, but 2 quarts of it. You can take it slowly, but you have to hold it longer." I shook my head. "I can't, " I almost cried. The thing scared me, and the though of having my butt pumped full of hot water – that MUCH of it – was unthinkable! What were they trying to do, bust my guts?

"You can, I'll help." he said. He pushed me back down, and then paused. "You know, we do need a urine sample as well." He then went to drawer, pulled out something that looked like fish tank air line tubing, dipped it in antiseptic and placed it in a tray of slimy looking stuff. He then came over and began rubbing my genitals down with betadyne. I knew what that was, since I’d cut my finger open once and had to go the ER for stitches.

What he was going to do took me completely by surprise, worse than the first enema had. "This is a Foley catheter, Sam. Do you know what it does?" I didn't. Again, I found out as he slid the tip of it into the end of my prick and began to slowly push it in.

“Dad?” I almost begged, pulling back and looking at him. I know was almost in tears, I was so scared. But he just nodded. He had THAT look on his face, and I knew better.

"Just lay back and breath normally, " he said, "It shouldn't hurt, just feels odd. Tell me when it hits solid, ok?"

I was red by now and sweating. I nodded and watched as the tube was pushed up into me. It stung some, and I felt like I had to pee really bad. I felt it when it stopped and yelled "OK !" He just held it there. I felt like I had to pee really really bad then and couldn't. "Just loosen up and try to pee, " he said.

He didn’t need to tell me twice! I did. When I did, I felt the tube go further in. I gasped. I could see pee running down the tube, yellow, into a bottle to which it was connected to sitting on the floor. He then took a syringe and pushed it into a short-side pipe of the catheter and injected something. At this point I was about to freak. What was this guy doing to me and why? My dad agreed to this? I didn't know the half of it.

"What I did, Sam, was inject some sterile water into the catheter to fill the balloon tip at the end which is IN your bladder. The balloon inflates so that the tube will stay IN you and not slide out."

I didn't like it at all. It felt like I was peeing nonstop, yet it also felt like I had to pee and couldn’t. I squirmed, and I could feel it up IN me.

"Why?" I asked, almost crying. It felt so weird and I was scared after all.

"Because we need an uncontaminated urine specimen and we need to have the idea of you having an accident out of the way, we have more to do anyway. Just relax, the cath won't hurt you, it just feels funny.”

I looked down at my small and limp prick with the tube sticking out of it and leading down to the slowly filling bottle. I was so scared that my nuts had pulled up to being almost inside of me too, and my sac was shrunk up. I know I blushed. I realized the tube was draining the pee out of me constantly, and I had no control over it. I didn't like it at all.

I really didn't like the next step. The doc then turned his attention back to the red bag. Again, a lubed white pipe was put up my butt after he adjusted me on the table onto my back and tilted slightly downhill. I was looking 'up' at my midsection. Once more, looking back, I can say now that I didn't really NOT like it, I just didn’t' know what I was feeling then. I heard a click sound as he released the hose clamp. I could feel the warm water filling me up, and he moved the tube up into my butt a bit further, slowly, and his gloved hand held it there. The bag was about 1/4 empty, I was watching it drain, when I cried out that I had to go, I couldn't take it. He shut the flow off and rubbed my belly a bit, here and there. Soon the urge passed and he let the flow begin again. To this day I still recall that click sound. By the time the bag was empty, I was nearly in tears. My stomach was a bit bloated out, and I really had to go but he wouldn't let me. He told me to hold it. It felt like forever and my dad had to be brought in once again. He told me not to fight it, it had to be done. The bag was slowly flattening out, but I was leaking. That’s when the doc increased the flow, and he suddenly pulled the tube out. His other reached over fast to the tray, and something else got shoved up inside of me! It was huge!

“Don’t’ worry, Sam, that’s a plug, so you won’t leak.” He advised.

It felt like he’d just shoved a basketball up inside of me, was what it felt like. I squirmed on the table, cramping and whining, and the next ten minutes were agony.

When they finally let me up, I had to be helped to the bathroom. It was hard to walk with that plug up my ass and the tube up my dick, but I managed. I know I yelped when he pulled the plug, and I literally gushed.

And I was done - or so I thought – until they informed me that I had to keep having it done with clear salt water until I was 'clean.' To make a long story short, I didn't enjoy it. I had no idea there could be that kind of filth up inside of me, and I wanted to puke. I knew then why I got no breakfast, and I was glad.

The salt water enemas went like the first ones, and when the doctor told me I was finally done I just collapsed in relief. I was so tired when it was over, but he finally told me I was done with that part. He then told me I had one more thing, a shot, and I just said, "Alright." I got it in the right cheek. It hurt like hell, and I was so ashamed of myself as dad held me while I cried.

I woke up in my new home, in bed, naked. I had no idea what time it was. My window was shut, curtains and all. I was warm, but comfortable. I felt like I had to pee really bad and pulled back the blankets. I can only imagine what my face looked like when I saw that I was naked, there was a hospital ID tag on my wrist, and the catheter was STILL in me! The tube came out of my little limp prick, the same tube with its "fill/set" side pipe, and more tubing leading down under my leg over the edge of the bed to an almost full bottle anchored to the bed's leg. I scratched my nose, it felt stuffy, and I felt something there. I figured it was one hell of a booger.

I got up carefully, walked over as close to the mirror as my catheter would allow me to, and saw that there was now a small tube going up my right nostril with a few inches of it taped to my cheek, just under my eye and running back to hook over my ear.

What the hell had they done to me ? Was I really sick? At this point I wanted to run, but of course the damn catheter, which was anchored in me, prevented that. I just stood there and stared at my slight frame in the mirror. I was such a shrimp. There had to be something wrong with me, I knew it. I thought one thing - CANCER ... then LEUKEMIA ... that's why I'm not growing ... then the door opened!

Thankfully it was dad. He looked a bit stressed, like he usually did. I was used to this look.

"How you feeling, Sam?" he asked.

I just stood there facing him, in all my naked, helpless, medically disastrous glory. I was half hard again as well.

He came over to me, led me back to bed, tucked me in, and told me to sleep. I told him I didn't feel like it really, and what had they done to me? More tests, he had said, rubbing my head and kissing my forehead.

Tests and tests.

He did tell me I had been asleep for about twelve hours and needed about twelve more. He then took a large syringe and some powder from a packet of some kind into the bathroom and filled the syringe with water and the powder. He shook it vigorously, I remember, and came over to me. At this point I was shaking and wanted to run. I remember asking him, "Dad, am I going to die? Is that why we came here?"

He said no, and attached the hollow end of the syringe to the tube taped to my face. He flipped it around, and I could just focus on it as he hooked it up and began pushing the plunger. I could feel the warm liquid going up my nose and down the back of my throat. I could feel it filling my stomach as well. He pulled it off, remixed, and did it again.

"All this is is nutritional supplements, Sam, and some medications you don't want to taste. And some tranquilizers. Go to sleep now. You'll be fine, just fine. We'll know all about it by tomorrow when the Doctor calls."

Whatever it was, it didn't act fast. Dad stayed and talked to me for a while, said not to worry and that he was sorry that it had to be done, routine first exam that they'd all had ... etc. etc. ....

I really wasn't too receptive, but I think I fell asleep with him holding my head in his arms and stroking me.

When I finally woke up again, I decided to check my watch. It had been almost 24 hours since the doctor’s office and I realized I was hungry. I wiped at my eyes and felt that the tube was still taped to my face. The catheter was still in me as well. I got up carefully, but this time the tube coming out of me ended in a small bag on the floor with some Velcro strapping attached to it. There was a small note that read, 'Sam - the bag goes on your leg. I think you can figure it out. Dad.'

I did.

I then pulled on the nightshirt that I had not worn to bed since my arrival in this strange house - since I wasn't too sure about shorts and pants with the catheter still on me, and went looking for some answers. The first person I ran into was Jimmy, about halfway down the ornately carved staircase. He just looked at me for a second then said, "Ouch, booster tube. Told you, you should eat more."

So he knew. I told him what I thought of it and asked where my dad was. He smiled at me and just said he didn’t' know and that if I wasn't such a 'stick' I wouldn't have a feeding tube stuck up my nose. I then asked him about the tube that was stuck up my dick. His face turned bright red.

"Had one of those once, hated it ... " he answered vaguely, "but they won't leave it in forever."

I could see I was getting nowhere fast, so I brushed past him and went on downstairs. There was no one to be found. I just stood there in the foyer, not knowing what to do. I felt a hand touch my shoulder, and jumped with a yelp. It was Jimmy. "Where is everybody ?" I asked.

He smiled. "It's a farm, city boy ... they're working - outside in the sun. You know, building muscles, getting tan, putting some meat on their bones ... "

"Doesn't seem to be doing YOU much good, " I accused.

"I'm in better shape than I was before, " he retorted, "and I was sent in to check on YOU anyway. Guess you're ok. Since you're up, help me put out lunch."

THAT sounded like a GOOD idea.

I watched him go towards the kitchen. Here I was, looking like a chemo ward escapee and he was making lunch? And MY DAD was working on a farm, outside IN the sun? My dad worked in an office under fluorescent lights! Things were just too weird here. At this point I started telling myself that I must have had a nervous breakdown or that I was having one hell of a nightmare. I went into the kitchen anyway. I watched Jimmy for a bit as he set the table. I was surprised how long his arms were, and how he could reach into the high cabinets. He was thin, but he wasn’t' a stick like me. There was some substance to him. I could only imagine what kind of work he had been doing all his life while I was growing up in the city. Somehow, cousins or not, I felt like an alien. He must have sensed me watching him, because he turned around in mid-stretch for some more drinking glasses and said, "Well? The fridge? Sliced meat and cheese and bread?" I snapped out of my reverie and got the food. My own stomach was grumbling.

"Shit, " Jimmy announced as he heard it.

"I'm just hungry, " I said.

"Yea I know. You were supposed to get a dose of weight gainer mix up the nose about eight hours ago. Your stomach shouldn't be rumbling. Your dad must have forgot, " he replied.

"Weight gainer?"

"With other stuff mixed in. Well, I guess you can eat normally too - usually you don't want to though. Here they come!" he gestured, pointing to the window. I looked out. He was right.

Whatever they had been doing obviously involved a lot of sweating and dirt. Then, for the first time, I noticed they were all wearing the same thing: white T-shirts and khaki, loose fitting short pants with short yellow boots. They all looked the same.

It was unnerving, but then, what in this place wasn’t? They all came in, washed up at the large sink on the back porch, and came to the table like nothing was wrong. I was sitting there next to Jimmy as Robby took a seat beside me.

"Looks good, " Uncle Ray said as they began passing things around. At that point, I spoke up. Bluntly. And mainly at my dad. It got everyone's attention as I called upon some of the more colorful parts of my inner city vocabulary, but at least someone was listening.

"Now I don't wanna tell you how to raise your boy, Fred, " Uncle Harlan said around a mouthful of ham and cheese, "But I think he needs his mouth washed out with soap, and leather belt across his bare ass! That and some calming down."

I saw my dad just staring at his plate. "He's been through a lot, I'm sure it will pass."

They continued to eat and discuss the day's work! Was I suddenly invisible?

Then, almost as an afterthought, and only after Travis pointed it out, did dad say anything about MY appearance. Were they that used to seeing a boy at the table with a tube up his nose and tape on his face?

He took a drink of milk from one of the large glasses Jimmy and I had set out and thought for a moment. "The doctor's office called while you were asleep, son. Everything is normal; you’re fine - just small. You need some more nutrition and exercise is all."

I didn't know what to say then. I felt the weight fall off my shoulders, so to say, but I was still confused.

"Sit down and eat, " Uncle Ray said, "You'll feel better. You can't do much now, but you will."

When we were all done, Jimmy mentioned my obviously missed dose to my dad who took me upstairs and mixed up another huge shot of that stuff he was shooting up my NG-tube as he called it. Since I had eaten, my stomach felt like I'd swallowed a rock.

"Take a nap after I change your leg bag over to the floor bottle, " he ordered me, uncharacteristically stern in voice.

I went back to the bed and lay down. He switched the tube over and covered me up. "I'll get you up around dinner time, " he told me. He then kissed my forehead - which was also something new, tucked me in and left the room. I remember that Robby came in and woke me up, pointing out my clothes, which had been laid out for me on the chair. When I saw it was a white T and khaki shorts with a pair of ankle length socks, I shivered. I was doing a lot of that since our arrival. I was just about to ask Robby about the freaky clothing I hadn't noticed really until then when Travis stuck his head in the door. "The movers just got done unloading your stuff, " he piped.

FINALLY! I thought, hoping my PC hadn't been damaged. I asked my cousins to leave the room so I could dress and switch back over to a leg bag, which was really beginning to annoy me. It was uncomfortable and I felt like a freak. I got dressed, went downstairs, and found everyone unloading the truck. Boxes and boxes ... literally the remnants of my previous life. I recall now that at that point I didn't realize the meaning of that phrase.

Everyone was working except for me. I was relegated to the porch swing to watch. My cousins carried my stuff up to my room, which itself - like the house - was huge - and asked if they could help me unpack it. I just nodded. That was how we spent the rest of the night after supper. When we were done, which didn't take long really, I realized I had no phone jack in my room for the PC and that all my clothes were missing. Even the ones I had arrived in. Something was not right. I looked at my identically dressed cousins, thought about my uncles, the lack of women, the strange treatment I was getting ... none of it made sense to me. I asked them, but they weren't too informative. They just said that after some peace and quiet and some fitting in I'd feel better and not notice anything at all really.

I remember I kept telling myself to wake up.

That night, I asked dad about taking a shower. I hadn't one the night we arrived, just the one before going to the doctor. Now that I was getting back to normal period of being awake, I was a bit unsure how to go about it. He just told me to do it normally. Finally I had to ask. "When do I get this tube out of me, dad? And WHY do I even have it still?"

His faced flushed a bit and he turned away from me. "Just take your shower and get ready for bed, " he replied, going for the stuff that he mixed to inject into my NG tube. "Dad, I want some answers, NOW!"

It was the first time I had ever done that. I had yelled at him. Always before, I just took the attention he could spare me and went with it, gratefully. I had always known he was busy. He had his work. He had to make money to pay for our life ... but this move and what was happening were too much. I had to know. I stared him in the eye as he injected the warm fluid into the NG tube, making me feel stuffed again. At least I wasn't being "cleaned out" anymore ... but it was small comfort.

"Son, " he finally said as he started strip me - which shocked me - "I won't lie to you. You are going to have an operation sometime this week. That's part of the reasons for the doctor visit and the tubes. Your cousins, all but for Denny, have had it. So have your uncles. And so have I, " he finished, attaching a small shut off clamp to my catheter and discarding the bag in the trash can. "When you're done, go to bed. Hook back up to the bottle and don't forget to take the clip of the tube. I don't want you to get kidney damage. Trust me, Sam, it's for your own good. It'll help you adapt to life here and get you some peace and quiet."

There was that phrase again.

Then he looked at me, with sort of a lost look in his eyes. His face then went hard. “And young man, if you EVER speak to me in THAT tone of voice again, I will use that leather belt your uncle mentioned and peel every last bit of skin off of your ass with it! Got me?”

I nodded in shock. He’d never said anything like that to me before.

I did as I was told. I woke up in the morning to find out at breakfast that there was no way to get a second phone installed for my PC for at least two weeks. Uncle Ray also mentioned a slow connection speed. To me, he sounded like he was reading a death sentence! I was going to be relegated to a few minutes at night only and my speed was going to be 28.8 max?

"Whatever that means, " Uncle Harlan said, uninterested.

"Internet, computers, the web, Uncle, " my dad replied.

“Bullshit,” my uncle replied. “The boys read email and such, but to me, mail is a letter that Herb brings in my mailbox out down the lane, dammit!”

I just thanked my head down on the table. Breakfast was over and I was on dish duty.

"Well for God's sake, " the old man commented, "It ain't the end of the world. Sounds like to me just like a bit of a slowdown is all."

I was used to cable access in the city. I lived in front of my PC in the city when I was home - for the brief times I was there. Seemed I was always being on the run to this and that ... I was beginning to miss it. 28.8 over a phone line to me sounded like a death sentence and I informed them all of that. Suddenly I thought about school - what was it like here? This house was strange enough and I had not even been to town yet! I couldn't imagine the school. No wonder my eldest cousin had gone off to college. I started thinking about my clubs and activities while I was clearing the table. Was there somewhere to hang out? Sports clubs? Arcade? What did one DO for fun here? It was all so strange I was afraid to ask to go into town even, much less ask about school. Then dad got up and said it was time to head out for the morning.

I was relieved that I wasn't being put down again for another nap.

I watched them all file out, all but Robby, who lingered behind. "Not going?"

Robby shook his head. His sandy colored hair had just grown out of a buzz to be long enough to lie over and it was still uncombed from waking up. I thought he looked like a small haystack and laughed suddenly. I hadn't done any of that since my arrival, I realized. "I'm supposed to stay and talk to you, you know, answer questions, " he offered. He sounded coached.

"You'll feel better soon, " he added.

"Why?" I demanded, still wondering at my dad's announcements the previous night, "and what's this 'operation' he said you've all had but for Denny?"

Robby flinched. His face got red. "I gotta go, hang on, " he said, taking off in the direction of the bathroom. I heard him say "dammit" when he went in, and I also heard the seat clink as it went down. Yet he came back way too fast. There was no way he’d took a dump that fast to need the seat down.

I had just finished rinsing a plate. I put in the strainer and looked right at him. White T. Khakis, loose. Short boots. Just like all of them, even dad. I just cut loose on him, and looking back, am sorry that I did. "OK, why all the locked doors in this huge house on the ground floor? Why are there no women? Your mom left, Uncle Harlan stayed single? All you all seem to do is work here! And I've been tortured and treated like I'm dying of something and dad tells me I have to have some kind of operation? I want to know what it is, Robby. It's almost like a cult of some kind, even the clothes! I want to know what's going on around here! "

My middle cousin's face was flaming. My barrage hit him off guard, and he didn't know where to start it seemed. "You're not in the city anymore, Sam. Things are different around here. We respect our parents and elders and we don't get too worked up over stuff. We have values ... " and from there the boy launched into a right-wing speech that sounded so 'Norman Rockwell' and American that I was stunned in return. I had to be dreaming.

That or I'd died and gone to hell, one or the other.

The latter was seeming obvious when he finished, but he had evaded most of my questions. "You'll understand when you're done, " he concluded, "You may not like it at first, but you'll get used to it. We all do."

"Who is 'we'?" I asked.

"A LOT of the guys around here, " he replied.

"But not Denny? Why's he special? "

Robby turned his flaming face away from me. He sat down at the table and put his head down. He obviously didn't want to say what he had been told. "He's the first son, he has responsibilities. The rest of us don't."

"I don't get it, " I answered.

"You will, " Robby promised me, "we all did. You know what? If you can do it, try hard, and stay awake tonight. I know that stuff they shoot into you makes you sleepy and all but listen - tonight, stay awake! When you see a car pull up, sneak down the stairs and go around the other side of the bottom floor where the first door is. That's the one that leads into the half of the ground floor you haven't seen. You'll see then, and whatever you do, BE quiet and don't say I told!"

Something told me to take him at his word. There were tears in his eyes, but they didn't fall. He helped me finish the dishes and we went upstairs so I could show him my PC and stuff. Lunchtime sneaked up on us, I guess, but I hadn't had my INTERNET line put in yet and didn't have enough cord to reach the one phone in the kitchen. I was really missing the city.

Shortly after lunch was cleaned up, there was knock at the door. Robby came back in with another boy, and introduced him as Chad, one of his friends. I looked out the window and saw his bike parked by the porch steps. We spent the rest of the afternoon exploring and talking, but I still didn't get any real answers. Chad was Robby's size, but much darker. His hair, or lack thereof, was black I assumed. It was buzzed down right to his scalp. He didn't look totally white to me, but I'd seen all races and varieties of people in the city so it didn't bother me. I didn't mention it, but what did bother me was the fact that he was dressed almost identically as everyone in my new household. The only difference was that his T-shirt was pale blue. We walked all over the huge place, watched everyone else doing this and that, various chores that seemed to need done every day. I was amazed my dad knew all this stuff. All the time I had thought all he knew was brokering and money. Then I realized he'd grown up here. Finally, though, I told them I had to go back to the house. All the walking was beginning to irritate my "problem" as I referred to it.

Robby nodded and Chad just said, "Yea, I know, " and left it hanging in the air. I didn't pursue it, just added it to my list of growing questions left unasked. Lunch went off without a hitch, just more mysterious chat. I learned that Chad was an only child, his dad had taken off when he was very little, and that he was a year younger than Robby and that they had been best friends since they were little.

We all wound up back in the house playing video games on my half crippled PC until Uncle Harlan showed up for his nightly ritual of cooking a huge supper. The man had a talent, I had to admit. He came up and looked in, said hello to Chad - stating that he had seen his bike parked by the steps. He then did something that almost knocked me out of my chair.

He asked the darker boy, "You all ready for tonight?" Chad nodded, and Robby coughed. I got that signal RIGHT off. I HAD to stay up. "Well, everything's ready, room and all. We got the space here ya know. Always welcome, Chad." And with that the old man left and in a bit we could hear him assaulting kitchen utensils below.

"So you staying the night then?" I asked Chad.

He nodded and looked at Robby, who shook his head.

We went back to the game, I recall, as a short attention span does. It seemed like it wasn't long before Uncle Ray popped his head in and asked Chad to come and go with him. I started putting the pieces together somewhat when Chad didn't show up at the dinner table and Uncle Ray was late coming. Nothing revealing was said, other than another shocking ultra-conservative lecture which my dad took part in. At that point I was really ready to run, but I HAD to know what was going on. It involved that locked door, Chad, and a lot of things no one was telling me.

I got my shower and headed back to my room. I got the stuff out of my little supply of catheter needs that my dad had taught me to use and fixed myself up for the night. As I was going to try and stay up to see what the hell was going on, I stuffed a leg bag under my pillow and hooked up to the night bottle. I didn't want to get caught, and didn't know how long was safe to leave it just clipped shut with no bladder drainage. I hated the catheter, and begged my dad to take it out but he wouldn't yield. It was uncomfortable and sorta hurt when I got hard, which was a lot lately.

I was lying there waiting on him for my nightly NG shot of warm "mix". Our nightly routine seemed to be setting in ... juiced up, tucked in, kissed, and told that I would be OK ... but as soon as dad left, I was connecting my leg bag so I could be up and mobile. When there were no more sounds from my room's floor, which I shared with my dad, I slipped out the door and down the stairs, slowly. My cousins all seemed to live on the third floor, along with the Uncles. Each floor had six rooms to it, and dad I had two each on the second. One was a bathroom, and the other was locked all the time. I hid in the lower floor closet across from the locked door that led to the other three rooms of the ground floor and waited. I was getting groggy, but I fought it. I heard a car pull up, lights off.

The adrenaline rush hit me then and my heart began to pound, fighting against whatever was injected into my stomach along with the weight-gainer and vitamins that usually knocked me out. The front door opened softly, closed, someone came in. He rapped on the locked door. I heard Uncle Harlan greet him softly, "Hello, Doc. Chad's all ready for you, and Sam will be in a few days I think. He's beginning to get curious, you know."

I heard the 'Doc' make a 'hmpf'ing' sound. This was the same doctor that had done all this shit to me right after we had arrived. I was going to find out what HE was doing HERE, one way or another. I peeked out the cracked door. They went into the mysterious door, into those unknown three rooms. The ground floor was vestibule/entryway, kitchen, living room, and what - three chambers of horrors?

I look back now and realize I had no clue ... but I saw them go in. The door shut, but didn't lock. A few minutes later, I heard steps. Someone was coming down the stairs. The closet door opened, and there stood Robby in his white nightshirt, barefoot, and wide-eyed. "After I go in, " he whispered, as my heart restarted itself from the scare, "count to thirty then sneak in. Don't shut the door, leave a crack. You’ll come to a T-shaped hall in there. Go left, and then peek around the corner. Got it?"

"Yes."

"Good, " he whispered, and was gone through the usually locked door.

The drowsiness was gone. I was running on excitement. A host of questions, I just KNEW, were about to be answered in that room. I did as Robby had said. The hall was long, almost half the length of the house, no doors and only the light at the end. I could see there was no door, and the walls were white. There were bright lights on in there, I could tell. I padded softly down that hall in my socks. The floor was sorta slick, and I was glad I was not barefoot so I couldn't squeak.

But when I reached the doorway and peeked around, my heart literally stopped for a moment. I could hear the same things that the other adults had spoken of, only in more detail. I could see the bright lights and equipment. It looked like the minor surgery room where I had been worked on at the doctor's office. They were talking about puberty, sex, the 'wickedness therein' and urges. They were talking about the need for 'peace and quiet' and the calming effect that so many in this town had experienced.

And there was Chad, naked, strapped down to an exam type table, which was Y-shaped. His legs were spread, and he was strapped at the ankles, knees and hips, and there was a wider strap across his waist. There were also restraints at his wrists, upper arms, and his neck as well. His near-shaved head was resting propped on a pillow, and he was tilted up a bit. The table was up higher than usual, so that the doctor would not have to bend over.

I dared not even breath; I just watched.

Chad was catheterized as I was, the tube leading out of his strange-looking prick and into a large bottle mounted to the side of the table near the floor. I would later come to find out that he was not circumcised, as I’d been at birth.

The room was hot from all the lights, and Uncle Harlan and the doctor were dressed in white surgical scrubs. There was an NG tube like mine in his right nostril, and an IV in his left wrist. He also had a gag of some kind in his mouth, with a hole in the center so he could breath. His eyes were wide, as the obvious drugs had not yet kicked in. I watched and listened as the doctor picked up a needle from a large tray of strange tools and injected his scrotum, once on each side. He then injected Chad's stiff but short penis, and the area all around it. Chad was shaking in his restraints.

Then I saw Robby. He was standing behind Chad, watching the doctor. Uncle Harlan was playing 'nurse' it seemed, checking the tray and tools and Chad. Finally I heard him say, "Robby, come around here where your friend can see you. Talk to him. Try and calm him down some. Hold his hand if you have to. After all, you been here too.”

I was shaking badly as Robby complied.

I watched as my cousin stepped up and took hold of Chad's right hand. The darker boy squeezed it tightly and stared up at Robby. "You knew you were gonna be done, " Robby began, "we all did ever since we were little. That's just it. You're not gonna be the only one. I am, Uncle is, my dad is - a LOT of guys around here are. You know about the urges you'd get if it's not done."

Chad nodded, his eyes beginning to glaze.

Robby went on. "You heal up in about a month. Trust me, you won't really miss it. Well, not being able to pee standing up is hard to get used to but you don't have nuts to get hit in and you don't have hard-ons all the time. You won't ever have to shave, you know. My dad always hated shaving until he got done when mom left him. And the sins you're safe from. You don't even think of that. Well, you might wonder, but you don’t' WANT to do it. AND you don’t' have any kids by accident like you were." Robby then paused. "I'm sorry, " he said, more to the adults than to Chad, who started to cry.

"You're doing fine, son, " the doctor said, checking his watch, "It's almost time."

Chad was breathing slower, his eyes glazing, but he looked like he wasn't going to go to sleep. I began to put it all together, but the whole puzzle snapped abruptly into place when Robby got a nod from Uncle Harlan and pulled off his nightshirt. He stood there naked, with his rear to me. It was very white in contrast to the rest of him. "This is how you look when you heal up, " he said. Then, knowing I was there, he turned so I could see. My heart stopped again.

Robby had NOTHING between his legs. No balls, no dick, no stump, NOTHING. My cousin was a eunuch. I had read about it on the INTERNET a few times and in history as well.

Then it all came crashing down on me.

They had done Robbie. Others in town. Uncles, even my own DAD ! And now Chad.

I then realized I was next.

They were going to castrate me, ‘lock stock and barrel,’ as my Uncle liked to say about things!

It explained the doctor's exam of me, the cleaning out, the tests, what they had done to me when I was out, the NG tube, me being an undernourished shrimp ... and the talks of sin and corruption and sex! Hell I already KNEW all that! What the hell had dad dropped us in? Then I realized, he KNEW. That vacation he had taken some years back and not taken me. He had come HERE and been done ... home ... peace and quiet ... calming ... he KNEW!

It also explained the toilet seats ... no one in the house COULD pee standing up but ME!

I almost gave myself away. I slid down the wall and sat there, trying not to breath. I heard the doctor tell Uncle Harlan, "It's time. Betadyne ... "

My dad had set me up. Hell, my dad was a eunuch. All this time I had no clue ...

My head was spinning. The stuff in the NG injection I had been given was fighting hard with the adrenaline and fear. I couldn't help but watch as the doctor rubbed Chad's genitals down with the brown fluid, which was only a shade or two darker than the soon-to-be-eunuch's skin. Robby just stood there, naked, and held his friend's hand. Chad was seeing it, but I didn't find out until later that he was fully conscious of it. He was only lightly sedated. Uncle Harlan handed the doctor a scalpel.

Chad sighed, and so did Robby. "Here we go, " Robby said, "he's gonna castrate you now, I mean, take your nuts out."

The words chilled me. Still I watched.

The doctor made a small slit in one side of Chad's scrotum and inserted a hooked tool of some kind. In a few seconds he had the boy's left nut exposed. He pulled down on it, tied off the cords, and used what looked like a red-hot scalpel with a cord coming from it to cut the cords. I caught a faint whiff of scorching meat. He did the same on Chad's right side, and deposited the extracted nuts in a dish, which Uncle Harlan took and set on the tray. The special scalpel reduced bleeding, it seemed. Chad's eyes were wide.

Robby, still naked, stared on - obviously remembering when they had done him. Then the doctor paused.

"You ever whack off, Chad?"

Robby's head jerked around to stare at his helpless friend.

Chad muttered a muffled "mm-hmm," thru his gag.

All three of them shook their heads. I felt my bloated stomach turning. Hell, I had tried it a few times. Playing with my prick felt good, even if it was small. Hell, all of me was small ... but it was still THERE and it worked! I’d had dry orgasms before, lots of them, in fact!

"That's only going to make it harder on you, Chad. You've been told about that and how bad it is for you since you were little. You shouldn't have ever done it. Now you won't be ABLE to do it, and I think you'll want to. For a time, at least. Eventually you'll adapt, and as the hormones leave you, it’ll get better. I've done many a man and boy in this county and far and wide. Most of them are really happy and relieved. Being an intact man is such a burden you know, abstaining, carrying on the line only, all that stuff. Living with the urges for pleasure without purpose ... "

At that point Chad began to cry again. Robby wiped his tears with a bit of paper towel and patted his cheek.

"Next is the hard part, " Robby said to Chad, "He's going to cut your penis off. Then he'll take the root out and close you up and trim off the excess scrotum skin. Once you heal up, you'll look just like me."

Chad was shaking.

So was I as Robby turned a bit again to show me, hiding in the shadows, his smooth and only lightly scarred crotch.

I thought about Denny, off at college. NOT a eunuch, but how? How with this crazed local mindset about evil and sin and sex?

I had no clue. How did they maintain population? A few intact men, lots of kids, then cut it all off? Only the first son was allowed to be a man? All I knew was that there were eunuchs, nullo'd eunuchs as that one page called them on the Internet. There was a whole website about them, and stories, and a message board and a chat room. There were a lot of them, but I never thought it was real.

The clothing issue clicked in my mind. It was like a uniform. An identifier. And all my old clothes were gone now. They all wore the same thing ...

When I looked back, all eyes were watching as the doctor sliced deeply around the base of Chad's uncirc’d penis. The scorching smell was stronger, and finally, after a bit more lecturing and cutting, the darker boy's stiffened penis slid off down the catheter.

Uncle Harlan pulled it on down, split it with a pair of scissors, and put it in the dish with Chad's balls. He then handed the doctor a bottle of clear fluid, and he rinsed the area. He then used the betadyne again and the rinse. The old man then handed the doctor a suturing setup, and in a few minutes, the doctor had moved the only part of Chad's penis that remained - the part where the pee came out of you and down and out your prick. It looked like a tube with a tube inside it. He moved it down to where Chad's sac had once been, and began sewing.

In minutes, his practiced hands had the wound closed. Where Chad's impending manhood had once been was a neat row of small and neat stitches and a tube sticking out much lower than mine.

I realized it was so he could pee easier. Lowered toilet seats ... I cringed. But how the hell could I get away? Run?

No way in hell was I letting them do this to ME!

But run away? Unlikely. I didn't know where I was. The police? Doubtful. They had to know. Then I recalled seeing a cop in town when we had gone to the doc's office. He had a boy with him in his car. They had stopped and got out - the boy had been dressed like my cousins ... it all fell into place so hard. He’d called him ‘daddy.’

The cops were in on it too.

My heart was pounding. I slipped out of the hallway where I was hidden and back up the stairs. I shut my door, shaking violently and locked it. I got in bed and pulled the covers up over my head.

I was exhausted. There was a glass of water, I recalled, on my night stand. I went for it and drank it fast.

I had to think of a way out.