I have known Dana for some seventeen years now.  We met at university where we were both law students and fell in love.  We are both practicing lawyers in different law firms in the same town, and as it is a small legal community there everybody in the various firms know each other professionally quite well, specializing in our own areas.  Although both fertile, neither of us wanted children and we are content to get on with our work and come home to each other.  Our sex life was always good: active work dealing with people is good for the libido, especially something about criminal law often got our juices running during the day and most nights we had sex.  I especially liked her broad, fleshy bottom which seemed to spread so wide in my hands as I fucked her, and she was always wet and receptive to making love.  We were quite experimental in conversation including about sexual matters and even shared the same tastes in certain pornographic films we watched at home together.

Dana has a tendency to be outspoken and consistent in her views about matters. I remember, for example, as students once in a little restaurant she told me really as a matter of fact that she had never understood why castration was not used more often as a punishment for suitable crimes, which she then listed off to me as if she had thought about it.  The couple on the next table heard this conversation and the girl was grinning at me with bright eyes.  Dana seemed quite insensitive as to whether or not she had an audience and just wanted me to agree with her, which I said I did.

It is very difficult being in an office and not relating to the female workers and after some years of good conduct on my part finally lapsed with two of the junior staff at different occasions.  Dana knew nothing about it at first as she often was away at conferences or seeing clients.  However, she later found out and asked me why I had done it and I replied I could not help it as the women had been very tempting.  She seemed to accept this as typical of male behavior, but I could see she was thoughtful.  We were having a drink before dinner at home and not so communicative.  She went to the kitchen to check the cooking and when she returned looked at me in the eyes.  “Alright, but I am going to cut off your balls, so that you will not be fucking other women again”.  Dana had always been direct when using language such as “fuck”.  She was down to earth about the sexual act.  I said nothing in reply, as I simply did not believe her.

Some three weeks passed and life was back to normal.  We had regular sex, and I thought I had got away with my misdemeanors.  After one such sex session, she was wiping the semen that was dribbling out of her neat, part shaven vagina and simply said “that reminds me, I have invited the two legal secretaries from your law firm next Friday evening for dinner”.  I knew she meant the two I had enjoyed carnally.  “They really should be aware what happens when a man cannot control his own penis responsibly”.  “But it’s already Tuesday!” was all I could think of replying.  I thought that this would be an opportunity to clear the air over the whole affair.

After dinner on Friday, which passed cheerfully and in a very friendly way, we all washed the dishes and settled for more drinks in the sitting room.  It was summer and the girls were showing a lot of leg, except Charlotte who wore tight blue jeans.  It was an easy, intimate gathering.  Conversation inevitably moved to the infidelities but without bad words, and some giggling from the two guests.  “I ‘m jolly well going to cut off his balls to make sure it doesn’t happen again” said my girlfriend suddenly out of the blue, as if talking about the weather.  There was a long stunned silence, then Anne replied softly: “As a matter of fact, I actually agree with that general approach to men”.  She was clearly not aware at this stage that Dana’s intention was about to be executed there and then in front of her. Then Anne added, “what about us, as we were equally to blame”.  Anne was always very logical and fair minded.  “I’m not concerned with the past”, replied Dana, “only with the future”. Then, “Charlotte?” asked my girlfriend.  Charlotte said nothing but was looking at my growing bulge fixedly.  “Stand up”, Dana ordered.  She was not wasting further time on discussion on the pros and cons on neutering me. I knew that she meant this for me as the sign of the beginning of the process.  Dana swiftly removed my whole package from its clothing protection and stuck it out bare directly at the women, before abruptly leaving the room. We could hear her say from the hall “This will be a lesson for us all” in a loud, legal sort of voice.  In fact I did not find the strange exposure at all embarrassing, nor did the girl spectators, as both in the room had seen and indeed had felt inside them my equipment before, indeed more than once!  The two girls and I looked at each other without a word, not really knowing what was going to happen, but with mounting excitement at what was clearly becoming a hugely erotic game.  “You have got quite big balls” mumbled Charlotte for lack of anything to say.  Anne continued to stare and sip her glass of wine.

Conversation was just turning to other things, such as work at the office, when Dana returned.  “Face this way”, she said slowly, so that I was again facing the girls.  “Anne, please hold this bowl about a foot under his testicles”.  I was too pre occupied at Dana’s strange use of the word “testicles” to question her obvious intentions. I think I knew at that point this was not just a party game. “Are you going to do this?  What are you going to do, actually” asked Anne, kneeling to get in position and holding the blue plastic bowl about my lower thighs.  I could see the shiny bareness of her female knees accentuated by her kneeling position, and wanted to feel the smooth skin again.  “Cut his balls off for good, of course” snapped Dana.  “Why ‘of course?’” asked Anne faintly, forgetting that she had agreed to the procedure in general barely ten minutes previously, “I want him to have his balls”.  “I am sure you do, Anne” replied Dana.  Charlotte had got off her chair and was looking hard to get a good view of a real castration.  She was breathing hard in an obvious state of excitement, having unzipped her jeans without any embarrassment, and was publicly finding her clitoris for a rub.  “Isn’t this illegal?” Anne persisted, her fair blonde skin flushed, but holding the bowl dutifully all the same under my hard and retracting testicles.  “Balls are balls” said Dana, “it isn’t illegal to have none”.  At these words, I knew Dana meant to castrate me as her own practical punishment for fucking these women, and I knew also that Dana and I would continue strongly, as the punishment cutting would ensure her security and ownership of love.  It felt to me inevitable, and besides, giving at least two of the three girls the turn on of their lives.  Charlotte was openly beside herself with excitement, gasping noisily as she slid her hand into her tight jeans.  Anne’s hands trembled as she held the bowl, her legs apart kneeling on the carpet and her beige skirt now half way up her thighs.  “Do you want to masturbate too, Anne?” I asked nervously.  Anne looked at Charlotte, then at Dana, then at me.  She nodded, and then said rather stupidly “But I can do that later”.  At that point, things happened fast.  Dana produced a sharp carving knife from a cloth she had brought in and laid it by the wine glasses.  She went back to the kitchen and we noticed a burning smell at this stage.  She came back with the knife sharpener molten red with heat.  Without a single word, she loosened and manipulated the scrotal join and put a blue elastic band twice round it with my penis straining hard at the onlookers.  Charlotte’s mouth was wide open.  Anne’s intelligent eyes were gazing into mine, as if wanting to register every reaction from me at moment of castration, but at the same time alternating to the location of the operation, as if not knowing which of the two locations, my expression or my balls being cut off, was going to be more memorable experience for her.  She finally looked with an expression of shame at my groin, attending to the bowl.  Dana now pulled my large scrotum hard away, towards her, and slowly placed the knife sharp end up underneath the scrotal join.  It remained there for at least five seconds, as if she was gathering strength.  Then with a quick look at the glowing knife sharpener, she cut very hard and once upwards and outwards to keep my penis out of the way.  To my amazement the whole scrotum just fell and landed with a plump thick splat in the middle of the bowl.  It had actually, happened, just as Dana promised us.  I was already passing out as the sizzle of the hot knife sharpener cauterized the wound.  The pain was dreadful and lasted several days before several private visits to a doctor friend of my girlfriend established the successful neutering.

Dana had already asked her two guests to remain silent at all costs immediately after the castration, also disposing of the cut scrotum and testicles; and as they were party to the castration gathering, they said later they felt they had to comply.  Nobody at my office knew that things had changed, except the hot and questioning glances I received from the two legal secretaries.  Charlotte was especially attentive to me and made me coffee more than usual.  She could not take her eyes of my front as if wanting to find signs of something there, and kept looking at me in the eye as if to find signs that I still had the courage to look at her.  Anne was much more discreet and more intellectual about the experience.  She finally asked me out for drink after work.  We went back to her place at her invitation, where we could talk.  She was impatient to see my penis and I showed it her.  The whole area was still a dull soreness, but vanity prevented me from showing her the shrinkage of a limp and castrated state.  I had taken a Viagra pill for her benefit and treated her to a penis straining at the leash.  I explained the cause to her, but she was barely listening.  She had my penis into her mouth and then vagina within seconds and I gave her the fuck of her life.  Her orgasms came quickly and repeatedly.  After these, we talked long and hard about that evening and about me and Dana.  She told me she had had incredible orgasms since my castration and that she could no longer see men or me in the same way.  She wanted me badly.  I told her I would have to discuss that with Dana.  She replied that she had me “by the balls” as I had already had continued my unfaithfulness post castration.  We laughed at that and have remained good friends.

Dana treated my castration as usual with her matter of fact way.  Our lives continued much the same pattern, and on the subject of the cutting told me I deserved it.  I was very curious how she had the skills and courage to perform that act and she told me everything about her preparation and determination.  My respect for her character grew.

Dana never commented on the appearance and state of my castration, nor did she seem to enjoy dominating me or teasing me for being castrated.  I was, to her, still her lover and man, and it became clear that it was the sense of being in control of her future with me that motivated her entirely.  Our sex life depended on drugs for intercourse and became more oral.  Uncharacteristically, she even ceased to be jealous of other women and although I think she knew about Anne, never raised the matter.  It was a sort of bond between us.  It panned out that my castration was not a huge loss in my relationships with women or my career, but it did seem to influence the three women at the castration party.  My male vanity surprisingly was less affected than I expected.  For years I thought about why Dana had so badly wanted me castrated, to the point that she carried it out herself.  I came to the conclusion that it was simply the fact that she wanted to concentrate on her career without having to be bothered about my lust or a family, and at the same time knowing our relationship would not at all worsen.  It was not done for erotic reasons.  I reasoned to myself that some women tended, when they thought about neutering at all, apart from castration as retribution, or unless aroused by an actual castration, to simply want some men of a certain middle age “done”; and that this practical wish came to Dana earlier in her life, in fact in her mid thirties, because she had a focused mind and was determined to carry out what she focused.  The pretext for castration was part excuse. 

Why had I let it happen that evening?  I was not feeling the least bit guilty or remorseful about fucking the two legal secretaries.  I knew the reasons quite clearly:  I knew Dana’s motives intuitively at the time and I did it as an act of love – also for selfish reasons because it would develop our relationship.  At the back of my mind, I saw the erotic effect it was having on the two female onlookers, too, and thought it would be an asset to hold on to them and possibly other women too!  Finally, the heady party eroticism of the sudden event plus Dana’s steely determination had made me dreamy, passive and compliant – I had had a primordial erection at the threat of enforced loss of potency right down to the shock of my balls actually falling into that bowl; also at the heat of the moment did not want to let down three determined or excited female lovers.

Dana and I both succeeded in our legal professions.  She very occasionally was known to comment to colleagues as a criminal lawyer that castration for criminals and adulterers was no bad thing, but nobody knew that she had practiced what she believed personally.  I met many successful female lawyers at conferences or at law courts, represented distinguished female clients and was not seen as anything but a good and competent lawyer.  In fact, my personal courtesy to women has stood me in good stead, as my desires were regulated by anti impotent drugs that were time limited.  Dana never hinted at my condition, only once after a night session with her leaving me still aroused, I gave a female colleague a look that was returned and Dana commented to the colleague that I was in no condition to be sociable.  The woman looked puzzled, but some intuition prompted her to ask me some fortnight later why Dana had said this.  Anne has accompanied me to conferences and stayed at hotels with me, and only on two occasions became publicly skittish: once she put her hand under a restaurant table and knowingly tweaked my diminished penis, running her hand underneath where the testicles were no longer, smiling at me mischievously.  On another occasion, she said to a female colleague in my presence that a certain action would need balls.  I also have noted that she likes to use expressions such as making a balls-up of things, whereas a mistake of things would have done, looking at me cheekily.  I know she is turned on by this teasing.  Privately, she admits to me that she is fixated by the memory of the sight and sound of my balls falling into the bowl she once held, as later by the sight of an erect penis without testicles, both of which she says  is now part of her sexuality.  She also says she gets turned on daily at our shared office by the knowledge of her secret.  She is excited by having an office working relationship with me in my status as a eunuch and this influences her sexuality.

That great evening’s event enabled me to relate in a deeper sense to two important women, Dana and Anne.  I needed the different personality of both to complement each other and the castration brought this need out for me.  Consequently, although I have had opportunity to meet others with my “curiosity value” in reserve, in fact I never have felt the need to do so, nor has it happened.  Permanently deprived of my testicles by my lifelong lover and friend Dana, my desire for both women is emotional, and sexual desire restricted to drugs and their after effects in creating erections.  These erections are important to both women to satisfy their need for sexual penetration.