SCENE: Mr. Robbins walks through the front door of his house, holding mail and a small package. He calls down the hallway as he enters.

Mr. Robbins: Hello, Gavril. Are you home?

Gavril: (from his bedroom down the hall) Yes, sir. I’ll be right there. (He rushes out of his room toward the entrance, followed closely by two dogs.) I was just working on my English essay for Mr. Taylor.

Mr. Robbins: You didn’t need to rush like that, but you’ve got mail today.

Gavril: Who would send me mail?

Mr. Robbins: It’s something that I ordered for you. It just came in today’s mail.

Gavril: Thank you, sir.

Mr. Robbins: Oh, come on. I keep telling you, enough of this “sir” all the time. That’s much too formal.

Gavril: But, sir, you’re my master. I should call you sir.

Mr. Robbins: No, you’re the little boy who lives here, and I’m the adult who takes care of you. It would be much better if you called me Uncle Jim, or even just “Dad,” if you’re willing. Either one would certainly work better when we’re out in public, I’d rather not be sirred all the time.

Gavril: But, sir….

Mr. Robbins: Yes, I know, you’re supposed to call me sir, but can we agree that you won’t.

Gavril: O.K., sir. But what do you prefer I call you.

Mr. Robbins: Well, I certainly know that you still miss your real dad, but if you’re willing to call me Dad in public, that’s what I would prefer. It would sure be easier in a restaurant or in a store. Do you think you can call me Dad?

Gavril: Yes, sir. I mean, yes, Dad.

Mr. Robbins: That’s better. I know I can never take the place of your real dad, but I’ll do the best I can.

Gavril: You’ve been wonderful, sir…. Uhhh, I mean Dad. I really like being with you. I don’t feel like a houseboy, I feel like family.

Mr. Robbins: I hope you feel that way. I certainly think of you as family. I’m doing everything I can think of to set you free so that you’re not legally a houseboy. I don’t need a houseboy; I need someone to keep me company. It’s just much harder to set you free than I ever thought it would be….

Gavril: I know you’re trying. Thank you.

Mr. Robbins: O.K., here’s your package.

Gavril: What is it, sir…. Dad?

Mr. Robbins: Well, I know that you’ve been worried about being castrated some day. I’m trying to set you free before that would ever have to happen, but I wanted something to reassure you that you don’t need to worry for a long time. Open the package.

Gavril: (Opens the package and pulls out an orchidometer.) It looks like a string of beads. What is it?

Mr. Robbins: Each bead is a different size, and the size is written right on it. They’re shaped like testicles. You’re ten now, and your testicles are probably about 2 or 3 cubic centimeters each. Those are the smallest sizes here. You definitely do not have to be castrated until your testicles are at least 10 cc each, and I’m sure we can argue that you should keep them until they’re at least 12 cc. The largest bead here is 15 cc, which is about the smallest for an adult man. If we really work at it, we can probably argue that you should be able to keep yours until they’re that size, maybe even larger. And, that’s only if we can’t find a way for you to keep them permanently. You should check yourself about every two or three months. Let me know when you reach 8 cc in three or four years. That’s when you can start worrying, not one day before. I hope that I’ll have found a way to free you long before then, but you certainly don’t need to worry in the meantime.

Gavril: Yes, sir…. I mean, Dad. Shall I check right now?

Mr. Robbins: That’s up to you, but you know that your testicles are still at the small end of the range. There’s absolutely no reason to worry about losing them for a long time.

Gavril: Thank you.

Mr. Robbins: Hey, I don’t feel like cooking tonight. Would you like to go out for pizza?

Gavril: Yes, sir. That sounds great. Uhhh…. Yes, Dad. That sounds great. Give me a little time. I’ll get it right.

Mr. Robbins: I know you will. Do you think Daniel would like to go with us?

Gavril: I’m sure he would.

Mr. Robbins: Why don’t you call him and see if his mother will let him come with us?

Gavril: Thank you. I want to see his face when I call you “Dad.”

Mr. Robbins: That should be fun.