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Simon Gets Neutered [Screenplay version] (Afternoon. One of the practice nurses rooms in Dr Belmarshs Greenfield Clinic. Two nurses are passing the time by discussing last nights dates, while waiting for their next case. Both nurses are in their early 20s and pretty: one is dark, the other blonde). NURSE 1. So when he said Your place or mine? I said Mine, of course. NURSE 2. You sexy thing, you! Tell me more. What happened next? A red-hot snogging session then a move to the bedroom? NURSE 1. Youve said it! Well, I was feeling really horny by then. In no time, all my clothes were on the floor and he no, I cant! NURSE 2. Oh, go on! Youre making me jealous! Nurse 1 drops her voice to a whisper. We can just pick out the words really, really big penis. Nurse 2 giggles. This exchange of confidences is interrupted by the door opening. The Receptionist enters, propelling a 12-year old boy Simon in front of her. Simon is dressed in white shorts, T-shirt, a school blazer, white ankle socks and trainers. He looks unusually clean and his hair is unnaturally tidy. He wears a defiant expression. RECEPTIONIST. Another dear little boy to be neutered. Get him ready, please. Ill leave you to it. She goes out. NURSE 2. Well now, and whats your name, young man? (Nurse 1 mutters Young man indeed under her breath and sniggers.) SIMON. Im called Simon Scott. (He resumes his defiant expression). NURSE 1. Simon, youre going to have a little procedure done. Do you know whats going to happen? SIMON. Of course I do. Im going to have my balls pricked. Its done like this Prick! Prick! (He makes stabbing gestures towards his private parts). (Nurse 2 turns away from the camera, helpless with laughter. Nurse 1 manages to keep a straight face and continues). NURSE 1. Do you know why youre going to have it done? SIMON. Its so that I wont ever be able to do the thing with a girl. The thing that starts a baby. NURSE 1. Thats right. Lots of boys have it done. And itll all be over very quickly, and it wont hurt a bit. Youll feel so much better after the doctor takes care of those nasty balls. (She reaches down and gently touches the front of his shorts.) Now there are one or two things we need to do first, so will you go into that locker and take off everything youre wearing except your T-shirt you can keep that on if you want. Simon disappears into the locker. The nurses get on with a few chores. Presently Simon reappears, nude from the waist down. He makes no attempt to hide his genitals, which are small and undeveloped. He does not have an erection. NURSE 1. Now before he starts, the Doctor wants you to have an enema. Do you know what that is? SIMON. I have one at school every week. Its having soap-and-water up my bum, to make me go to the lav. NURSE 1. Well, you know all about it and no mistake. Over here, then. (The camera pans to the other side of the room. Simon is eyeing the enema syringe) SIMON. Is that what youre going to put up my bum-bum? NURSE 1. You know it is. Now, take hold of the back of that chair and bend right over try and reach the seat. (The camera zooms in and shows Nurse 1 popping the syringe into Simons behind and zooms out again. Meanwhile Nurse 2 is studying a file, her eyebrows raised in surprise. Moments later Nurse 1 finishes giving the enema. Simon straightens up). NURSE 1 The bathrooms over there in the corner. Run along and get rid of it. (Simon trots off). You know, I just love the idea of castrating a cute little boy before hes ever had a chance to do it with a girl. Thats three today. Dont you feel just the same? NURSE 2. You havent read the case notes. I have! Master Simon had begun to be quite a nuisance with girls. They caught him trying to have it off with his cousin. Thats why hes being done. Youre obsessed with castrating little boys, thats what. NURSE 1. Doesnt look as if he could do much. Still, you never can tell. Better get him done right away, if hes like that. (There is a sound of flushing. Seconds later the bathroom door opens and Simon emerges.) NURSE 2. All right, now, Simon? Good boy! Just one more thing. (She fetches him a smart slap across his buttocks and at the same time jabs in a hypodermic, concealed till then in her sleeve). SIMON. Ow! OW!! What did you do that for? That hurt! NURSE 2. Its a local anaesthetic. Just sit over there till youre nicely numbed-up. (Simon retreats to a chair and sits there glaring. Moments later the door opens and the Theatre Sister comes in). THEATRE SISTER. Doctors ready for him now. You can bring him across as soon as hes ready. (The scene changes to Dr Belmarshs operating theatre. There are just three people, an anaesthetist (who has nothing to do) the theatre sister and Dr Belmarsh himself. All are dressed in light blue surgical overalls with head coverings and face masks. Apart from the operating table the main feature is a very big plasma screen, on which a video of the Monaco Grand Prix is being shown. DR BELMARSH. Hello, Simon. Im Dr. Belmarsh. This will only take a few minutes and wont hurt one bit. Itll be over before you know it. Nurse, would you please help the patient on to the table. (She does so). Pay attention please. The patient is a Caucasian male, aged 11 years and 7 months. This will be a routine neutering operation carried out by bilateral injection of Neutersol. Any questions? (No one says anything) DR BELMARSH. Now, Simon, all you have to do is watch the race on that big screen. You dont need to take any notice of anything else. Ill be handling what you have down there, but you should hardly be aware of it. Look up- dont look at me. (The actual moment of Simons castration. Simon is neutered by having Neutersol injected into his testicles. The camera zooms in on Simons genital area, showing Dr Belmarshs hands manipulating Simons scrotum pulling it out with his right hand and then grasping it with his left thumb and forefinger. He pulls outwards, stretching the scrotum tightly over the testicles, his other fingers holding Simons penis out of the way.Simons testicles are perfectly formed, but small and hard.) DR BELMARSHS voice. First dose please, Nurse. (The camera is still focused on Simons genitals. Dr Bs right hand reappears. The hypodermic is inserted into Simons right testicle in a single smooth motion. Theres no indication that Simon feels it. Dr Bs thumb depresses the plunger. There is a plink as the empty syringe is dropped into the tray.) DR BELMARSHS voice. Second dose please, Nurse. (Dr Bs right hand reappears and repeats the action, injecting Simons left testicle. The syringe is discarded). The camera pans across to the tray with the two empty syringes, back to Simons limp penis and scrotum, them zooms out, showing the whole theatre.) DR BELMARSH. Right, everybody. Take a break. Nurse, see that the patient gets dressed and then bring him to Consulting Room 2. I shall be there with his guardian. NURSE. Of course, Doctor. (To Simon) Come on, Simon, Ill help you down from there. (She helps him off the table.) See, that was simple, wasnt it. (Cut to the first practice room- now empty; the nurses are in the canteen. Simon is putting his shoes on). SIMON. (To himself). Ive had my balls pricked! (He sounds more bewildered than distressed). (Cut to Consulting Room 2. The main furnishings are three large leather armchairs. Dr Belmarsh is in one, Lord Manningham in another, Simon, looking rather lost, in a third. From time to time Simons hand strays down to the front of his shorts. Lord Manningham is in his mid-40s, blond, six-two, good looking, and extremely well dressed, out of Savile Row and Burlington Arcade. He is one of the countrys top dogs and doesnt mind who knows it). DR BELMARSH (continuing) Well, Id say that went by the book and I dont foresee any complications. MANNINGHAM. What do I need to know, doctor? Should Simon go to bed early tonight? Is there any food he needs to avoid, or drink? What about tomorrow? DR BELMARSH. You need do nothing out of the ordinary. Thats where Neutersol scores over surgical methods. The boy can get dressed and do exactly what he was doing an hour earlier. But since you ask, Simon had a local anaesthetic and this will wear off by about eight oclock. There shouldnt be any discomfort apart from some itching. He doesnt have to go to bed early but Im going to give you a mild bromide pill, that Simon should take with some warm milk before turning in. That will help him to sleep. In the morning, if theres any redness or swelling, give him an Ibuprofen. MANNINGHAM. What about the longer term? DR BELMARSH. Neutersol works by destroying the testicles gradually, over a period, depending on size. With very young boys I neuter them at all ages they very rarely notice the process. In the swimming pool or on sleepovers with friends, if they were all neutered about the same time, it may be a long time before they learn about testicles and even longer, why they have none. (Lord Manningham nods.) Simon has grown used to being an intact boy, with an intact boys sexual attributes. In his case I would expect his testicles to undergo total softening and disappearance in about three weeks. Hes an intelligent boy and should be aware of this. (Simon looks up with an expression that might mean Who, me?) MANNINGHAM. And then? DR BELMARSH. To use a very old and non-medical term, the point of neutering a boy before puberty is emasculation not only making him incapable of having penetrative sex but removing all male sexual characteristics. With surgery it was hit-and-miss: after a boys testicles had been removed he might become impotent or he might not. Neutersol is pretty well foolproof in that regard. It attacks and destroys the nerve-endings that control erections, and which stimulate the flow of blood into and around the boys penis. MANNINGHAM. So that .. (He glances at Simon.) DR BELMARSH. So that on the one hand the boy never has an erection again, and on the other hand, his penis actually shrinks. With circumcised boys the penis often retracts into the abdomen as far as the glans. Its as if the boys body knows that, once the testicles have gone, there is no need for a long penis. Simon is not circumcised, at least not fully - and penile shrinkage may leave him with quite a lot of loose skin. I wouldnt suggest anything now, but we could always circumcise him later, if necessary. (Simon shrinks back into his chair a bit.) MANNINGHAM. Anything else, doctor? DR BELMARSH. You are bound to notice behavioural changes. Neutered boys are always or nearly always, much quieter and more attentive. Ive seen it too often to be mistaken. Ive castrated boys who were real little tearaways until the cause was removed, and without saying they became cherubs, once their testicles were gone, the change would have astonished you. MANNINGHAM. Thats good news at least. Simon made the vacuum cleaner blow up last week, and the lawnmower the week before that. DR BELMARSH. I think you can safely say those days are over. I forgot to mention, though, that the procedure doesnt always suppress sexual longings. In some neutered boys these can be very strong even though sexual potency has been destroyed along with the sperm and testosterone source. Science doesnt fully understand the reasons for this. Simon, if hes lucky, will soon forget that he ever had erections or insistent feelings down there. Is there anything else I can tell you? MANNINGHAM. (rising to go) No, I dont think we neednt take up any more of your time Dr. Belmarsh. Come on, Simon, lets go to London. Goodbye, Doctor, and thank you. DR BELMARSH. Goodbye, Lord Manningham, and thank you for letting me do Simon. And, goodbye, Simon. I know youll be a lot happier now that those balls have been taken care of. (Manningham leads Simon out. Simon looks all round for the last time. As he passes through the door we just catch the words Ive had my balls pricked. FINIS |