Bryan's Story, Part 2

Bryan – 02

Once the plane was airborne, Bryan pulled out his wallet and switched his real driver’s license for the fake ID tucked away behind his library card. Now, as far as anyone was concerned, he was Bryan Smith, 19 and a sophomore at UCLA. He was disappointed to discover he couldn’t use his notebook computer during the flight, so he contented himself with reclining his seat and closing his eyes. Almost immediately, his mind drifted back over the events leading up to the decision to seek a penectomy. He found it hard to believe he had reached the decision only three years earlier. In one way, it seemed so long ago, and in another, it seemed like the decision had been made only days ago.

He had started masturbating when he was eleven. That was when he began waking up with morning erections. At first, other than relieving himself right away, Bryan didn’t do anything about the morning erections. But, the sight of his erect penis did intrigue him – he was surprised that something normally so soft could suddenly become so hard and stick straight out like it did. He found that even holding his penis so he could aim his stream of urine into the toilet bowl, brought him an unusual feeling of excitement. It wasn’t long before he found that the momentary excitement could be increased if he wrapped his slender hand around the whole shaft. One morning, his hand brushed across the crown of his penis sending tingles of excitement like he’d never experienced before shooting though his belly. Curious, Bryan found that tracing his index finger around the head of his penis only intensified those delightful feelings.

He began tickling his mushroom head every morning, intrigued when his penis began twitching and bouncing of its own accord. One morning, his penis really seemed to come to life – Bryan found his breathing getting heavier as his pulse raced. Suddenly his penis began jerking and then pumping a clear fluid over and over. The euphoria that accompanied the new experience left him light-headed, weak in the knees, and out of breath. The feeling was incredible and something he wanted to experience again, soon.

At first, Bryan waited for those morning erections to masturbate. And, each time the experience was just as intense and satisfying as that first time. One afternoon after school, Bryan found himself home alone. Heading for his bathroom, he quickly stripped and stood there staring down at his flaccid penis. Nothing happened. Reaching down, Bryan began fondling his limp dick and discovered he could make it erect at will. He stood straddling the toilet bowl and watched in delight as his penis grew in size. When it was nearly fully erect, he wrapped his hand around it and eagerly began pumping away as fast as he could. Moments later, he brought himself to climax.

In his First Class seat, his eyes closed as he mused, Bryan shook his head in wonder at those early experiences. There hadn’t been any style to his technique back then. Hell, he thought, wrapping his hand around his erection and jerking as fast as he could to bring himself to climax could hardly be called a technique at all.

Of course, there was a downside to his new experiences. Within moments of the passing of the euphoric wave, Bryan felt a growing guilt. He was sure, somehow, that his parents wouldn’t approve of his activities. And, in the gym locker room almost everyone took great pains to deny jerking off. The trouble was, no matter how guilty he felt about what he was doing, Bryan also knew he wasn’t about to stop. It just felt too good to give up. And so, he continued masturbating – enjoying the high he felt upon climax, and feeling guilty about the act itself afterwards.

By the time he was twelve, Bryan really manage to develop a technique to his masturbation practices. He found he could increase the intensity of his orgasms by taking his time – he even discovered he could bring himself to the edge of climax several times in a row, backing off each time before he crossed the point of no return, and phenomenally increase the intensity of his orgasms.

Just before his thirteenth birthday, Bryan began keeping his secret journal. In it, he not only recorded the number of times a day that he masturbated – the record was eight times – but, he also began recording techniques that brought him the greatest climaxes. The secret journal also contained another secret – Bryan had discovered, and admitted to himself, that he was gay. He hadn’t had any physical same-sex contacts – in that sense, he was still a virgin. But, as his erections began coming on their own – often at the worst possible, and potentially most embarrassing moments – Bryan began noticing a pattern. He always found himself growing hard when looking at, or thinking about, another boy. The sight of naked bodies in the locker room invariably produced the familiar stirring in his loins. He never had the same reaction when looking at girls. He even tried to imagine the cutest girls in school naked to produce an erection, but even those thoughts failed to produce any results.

At night, in the dark of his room, Bryan even held a spare pillow in his arms and tried to pretend it was a girl in his tight embrace, returning his kisses. His dick remained soft. But, the thought of a male in his embrace never failed to immediately produce an erection – especially if he imagined the pillow was Aaron. Bryan imagined feeling Aaron’s smooth, bare chest pressed tightly against his own as he ran his fingers through Aaron’s sun-bleached blonde locks. All of those fantasies were dutifully recorded in his secret journal.

The journal – or more properly, journals. They had become the other significant part of his life – next to masturbation, the journals were his major interest. His grandfather had explained that keeping a journal was an exercise in self-discipline and self-improvement. He had been proud of the fact that keeping a truthful journal had helped him overcome his shortcomings and develop into a better person. Bryan quickly discovered how right his grandfather was. At the end of each week he would go back and read the daily entries for the week.

It wasn’t long before he began noticing things about himself that no one else noticed – or maybe they did, but were unwilling to tell him. The trouble he was having in geometry class was less because he didn’t understand the material, and more because he didn’t like the teacher. Mr. Goetz, his geometry teacher, had a snotty, holier-than-thou attitude that annoyed Bryan. The truth was, his attitude pissed off the whole class. In his journal, Bryan discovered that he had begun to just ignore what Goetz was saying, concentrating instead on how much he disliked the man. The journal made Bryan realize that his personal dislike of Goetz wasn’t hurting the teacher, it was hurting him. His grades had suffered. Accepting that the fault was his own, Bryan actively began working to actually pay attention to what Goetz said in class and reserve his dislike for the man to his journal entries. The change was dramatic – Bryan discovered he actually could understand the topic and it wasn’t long before his grades reflected the fact.

His personal journal served the same purpose. It was through his observations on what caused him to get erections that brought him to the realization of his homosexuality. Initially, the idea scared and even disgusted him. Being gay was the worst possible thing to be – everyone in school called gays perverts, freaks, immoral. At first, Bryan felt the same way and recorded those feelings in his journal. But, on re-reading the entries, Bryan began to discover that he wasn’t any of those things. He went out of his way to help fellow students whenever he could. He certainly didn’t have any desire to cause another person harm – the very idea of physically harming someone was revolting to him. Hell, Bryan didn’t even like the idea of purposely or inadvertently hurting someone’s feelings.

Of course, the secret journal wasn’t the only thing that helped Bryan come to terms with his homosexuality – it was just one of the tools that helped him. On the Internet, Bryan had discovered websites dedicated to helping gay teens come to terms with themselves. He quickly discovered he wasn’t alone – there were a lot of teens having exactly the same struggles with their sexuality as he was. He began visiting the chat rooms – initially just watching the conversations rather than participating in them. Slowly, the moderators worked to make him feel comfortable enough to join in the chats. It wasn’t long before Bryan had a circle of close Internet friends he could also confide in to help him over the rough spots.

And, of course, the Internet gave Bryan plenty of material for his masturbatory fantasies. Bryan roamed the web finding pictures of naked males and stories of sexual escapades. He knew it was no accident that the pictures he preferred above all others depicted blonde surfer boys with smooth, lean, well-muscled bodies. Bryan was smart enough to know they represented Aaron in his fantasies – his only regret was that he couldn’t actually share any experiences with his best friend and object of desire.

Aaron might be the object of Bryan’s sexual desire, but it certainly wasn’t his focus. Bryan figured it would be more correct to say that Aaron was an object of desire – but, his main focus of desire was his own penis. His experiences viewing the gay porn pictures on the Internet demonstrated clearly that in form and shape, his own penis was perfect. Sure, there were a lot of nice cocks out there – but, very few that reached the same symmetry and perfection of his own. There were a lot of dicks much bigger than his own – in fact, it seemed as if all porn models had unusually large dicks. The problem was, they were out of proportion to the rest of the model’s body. Bryan thought some of the models, especially the thinner ones looked almost freakish with their eight, nine, and even twelve inch dicks.

Bryan wasn’t conceited enough to think he had anything to do with the way his cock looked, that was all a matter of genetics. But, the esthetics of his penis far outclassed those models. It didn’t taper as so many of the ones he saw in pictures did. The head wasn’t swollen or oversized, as the dicks on some models were. And, his cock certainly didn’t bend, curve upward, or have unusual bulges to it. There was no doubt in Bryan’s mind at all – his dick was perfection.

And, that was the problem – he enjoyed staring at it, handling it, and even thinking about it so much. Sometimes to the exclusion of things he should be doing. He often found himself staying up late into the night to finish routine homework assignments because he had lost so much time masturbating, or just admiring the way his penis looked. He worked at applying the self-discipline he was learning through keeping the journals to his masturbation. But, no matter how hard he tried, he always found himself caving in to the demands of his penis. He couldn’t even manage to refrain from tossing off for an entire day – except for the day after he broke his leg skiing, and he couldn’t honestly count that since he was sedated most of the day. But the next day, even with his right leg in traction, Bryan managed to covertly jack off. In fact, he viewed the week he spent in the hospital as a challenge to his creativity. There were always people coming in and out of the room, and he still managed to bring himself to climax at least twice a day on most days.

Bryan had begun to come to the conclusion that he’d need to take some kind of extraordinary measures to impose a discipline on his carnal activities. At first, he hit on the idea of a chastity belt. That seemed reasonable and his first search on the web produced immediate results. He knew he shouldn’t be surprised, but he was, to discover that there were companies manufacturing and selling male chastity devices online – they even had pictures of their products. Bryan studied the various pictures carefully, his penis twitching the whole time. The most effective looking was The Cock Cuff – a surgical steel tube welded to a single handcuff which was fastened around the penis and scrotum. The steel tube was locked around the penis, covering it entirely. Bryan had no doubt such a device would effectively prevent him from masturbating – as long as he was wearing it. The Cock Cuff had two drawbacks, however. The steel tube curved slightly outward from the groin, making it impossible to wear under clothing. The other drawback was the fact that as long as he had the key to the device, he could remove it at any time and masturbate to his heart’s content.

That fact alone made each of the devices useless as an implement for self discipline – but, that didn’t stop Bryan from examining the other chastity devices. The Samurai was a large metal wire cage designed to completely cover his entire groin. It stuck so far out, Bryan would look like he had a very large grapefruit in his pants. Bryan was about to close the site and jerk off when he noticed the links button on the side of the screen. On an impulse, he clicked the button.

It was an impulse that would change the entire course of his life.

One of the links was to a site called the Eunuch Archive. Curious about what would motivate anyone to allow themselves to be castrated, Bryan began reading the message boards. The one thing he knew for sure was that his visit to the site was motivated purely by curiosity. There was no way he would ever cut off his cock and balls. He had expected to find the message boards filled with farfetched fantasies – and there were a few of those. But, the thing that shocked him were the serious messages from people who had already undergone partial or full castrations and penectomies. These weren’t from some freaked-out SM nutcases – almost every one of the posters seemed to be from people who were so very much like Bryan. They had insatiable sex drives that dominated their lives – stealing time from studies, career, and their personal lives.

Bryan spent hours reading the posts and experiences, his chest heaving with excitement at finding others who seemed to know exactly what he was experiencing each and every day. The various posters had tried everything to control their activities – some had even tried hypnotherapy, with no success. Others had tried chastity devices, but those had failed for the very reasons Bryan had already figured out.

Pushing away from the desk, Bryan’s face was beaded with sweat. Glancing down, he found that his light sleep shorts had a huge wet spot in the crotch – it was so big that for a moment, Bryan thought he had wet himself. He could clearly see the outline of his penis under the light material. It was twitching forcefully and was so hard he was actually in pain. He shook his head violently in an attempt to clear it – he needed to think. But, the wet spot just grew larger and his dick continued to tremble in excitement.

Jumping onto his bed, Bryan slipped out of his wet shorts and stared down at the quivering tower of flesh jutting straight upward from between his legs. He tried to think everything out – the very thought of having his cock cut off should be enough to make him lose his erection. Instead, he was faced with the most intense erection he’d ever had. The thought excited him mentally and physically in a way he’d never thought possible.

His fingers were shaking as he wrapped them around the shaft of his beloved penis and began slowly pumping away. As he masturbated, Bryan tried to imagine not having anything at all between his legs and found the image only served to intensify his excitement. His mouth was actually watering in the excitement of the moment – something that had never happened to himself before. His balls actually twisted and churned in their loose sac moments before he achieved the most intense orgasm of his young life. When he ejaculated, the white liquid actually shot straight up nearly four feet before falling like hot, heavy raindrops against his belly, chest and face. Bryan lay spent and limp on his bed, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

Over the next few weeks, Bryan scoured the Internet for information about castration. Before making a decision as life altering as castration, Bryan knew he needed to collect as much solid factual information as he could. He knew he had three modification options – castration, penectomy, or nullification. Nullification – the total removal of all his genitals – wasn’t really appealing to Bryan, but he didn’t want to make a decision one way or another before he had more information. Initially, Bryan was leaning towards a simple castration – the removal of his testicles. Without them, he would lose his sex drive.

As he researched the topic of castration, Bryan began to form the opinion that giving up his testicles wasn’t really the option he liked. For one thing, Bryan learned that without his testicles he’d run the risk of developing secondary female characteristics. He’d have to take testosterone injections to prevent the development of breasts and widening hips. There were some other side effects, but Bryan wasn’t interested in becoming more feminine. Bryan dutifully noted in his secret journal that he had decided against castration because of the unwanted side effects. For the same reason, nullification ceased to be a choice in his mind. Penectomy appeared to be the only option left.

As Bryan made his secret journal entry explaining his decision, he noted that with a penectomy he would retain his testicles. By keeping his testicles, Bryan added, he’d continue to develop as a male – he wouldn’t lose muscle mass, grow breasts, or lose bone density. Those were all definite pluses as far as he was concerned. What he would lose was his penis, and thus the ability to masturbate. He would, however, retain his sexual drive and the desire to masturbate.

Bryan leaned back in his chair, his penis as usual hard and leaking, and thought about what he had just written. He would still have a strong sexual drive and the desire to masturbate, but no way of doing anything about it. If he were physically unable to masturbate, that would for the first time since he started masturbating, put him in a position to exert his control and discipline over a part of his body that seemed to have a will of its own. He had learned enough from his research to know he could still achieve orgasm by stimulating his prostate gland. But that wasn’t likely to happen.

Bryan knew of only two ways to stimulate the prostate gland – that was through anal sex or manual manipulation with a finger. The very thought of either repulsed Bryan – he always skipped any pictures on the web depicting anal sex. He couldn’t imagine ever placing his dick into anyone else’s ass, and knew for a fact that he didn’t want anyone to do it to him. In simple terms, the anus was an exit for his bodily solid waste and he had far too much respect for his penis to shove it into a waste canal.

The idea of having sexual urges and no penis grew in its appeal to Bryan. He would still have the desire to search out the pornography on the web that he enjoyed – but, he would be in control of the situation, rather than his penis dominating his behavior and time. Bryan hated the very idea of jacking off quickly – he believed in doing things right, and in his opinion, masturbation should be a self-seduction that took time and care. From snippets of conversations he heard in the locker room and messages on the web, Bryan knew most guys were content to get their dicks hard and toss off as fast as possible to ‘get their rocks off’ as they put it. Bryan wasn’t sure whether they were just too lazy to do it right, or didn’t have any idea of how much more pleasurable orgasm could be if it was done right.

Bryan usually included a long, teasing foreplay whenever he masturbated – he let his fingers explore his body and find those places that were particularly sensitive. He knew that besides his nipples, his ear lobes, underside of his jaw, the sides of his neck were erotically sensitive. There was a line about a half inch wide and three or four inches long on the nape of his neck which was particularly sensitive to stimulation. He had discovered that the more those areas were stimulated, the more intense his orgasms. Even when he had to content himself with a quick hand job – like when he had to toss off in a locked bathroom stall at school – Bryan tried to include stimulation of at least two of his erogenous areas.

By giving up his penis, Bryan would gain a lot of time normally lost each day in his self-seduction masturbation sessions. The idea appealed to him the more he thought of it. He knew the decision was made – he would seek a way to get a penectomy. That meant more research on the web.

It took several months before Bryan finally found the clinic in Mexico. He had found lots of people who claimed they had the ability to perform the surgery – but few of them were really medical people, and most of them talked about doing the cutting in a motel room. The idea of some untrained hack tying him down and taking a knife to him was just frightening. Bryan was intelligent enough to know such fly-by-night methods carried the risk of death from loss of blood or a slower, lingering death from an infection. He decided his only reasonable option was to find a way to have the surgery done in a real surgical setting – like a clinic or hospital.

References to one name kept cropping up as Bryan did his research – sometimes, it was just a vague reference to “The Clinic” in Mexico. Sometimes, it was the name del Rosa, or Dr. Perez in del Rosa. It took some sleuthing, but Bryan was finally able to discover the seaside resort town of Playa del Rosa in Baja Mexico. Bryan thought finding the name of the clinic would be easy after that – he’d just need to search a business directory for the clinic in the town. But, that search didn’t turn up anything at all – every search came back empty. Bryan was convinced the town of Playa del Rosa was the key to his quest.

He had failed in his web initial web search – it was time to try something else. What did people do before the Internet, he asked himself one day as he wandered the halls at school between classes. And then, the answer came to him – they wrote regular letters. He’d write to the Tourist Bureau of the town – well, at least to the City Hall – and ask about businesses and vacation spots in the area. Surely, they’d list all hospitals and clinics, he thought. It was worth a try at the least. Rushing back home that day, Bryan spent the afternoon composing a letter to the City Hall and managed to get it off in the mail the following morning.

After two weeks of not receiving any kind of answer at all from the Mexican town officials, Bryan began to give up hope of finding out anything through that avenue. And then, three weeks to the day after he sent the letter off, Bryan found a letter with a Mexican stamp waiting for him at home.

Racing to his room, Bryan eagerly ripped the envelope open and was amazed to find an expensively done travel brochure touting the amenities of the town – including the European-style spa and resort hotel complex. The complex was so modern and up-to-date that it included its own clinic and private beaches, the brochure bragged. Bryan almost slapped his forehead – that was the answer. A person going off for the kind of surgery he wanted didn’t want to answer questions about why they were checking into a hospital in a different country. The resort had to be a cover for the clinic.

Bryan returned to his web research and easily found the clinic’s web site. He ignored most of the welcome page, although he did notice the resort had nude beach facilities – actually, the wording on the web site was “clothing optional beaches facilities.” Bryan was more interested in the clinic facilities. At first, he was disappointed – the web site bragged about the most modern clinic facilities, but didn’t mention anything about offering castrations or penectomies or even Transgender services. Then, a simple line at the bottom of the screen caught his attention – “For information about specific services not described on this web site, please send inquire via e-mail or regular mail.”

Bryan sat back, grinning – he’d found it. He quickly switched screennames and returned to the resort’s web site and clicked on the link to send e-mail directly to the clinic. His fingers trembled as he wrote the brief e-mail explaining that he had heard through an acquaintance that the clinic was able to perform surgeries like penectomies and castrations. He asked about the cost and for all the information they could share. Once he was finished composing the e-mail, Bryan’s finger hovered over the mouse button that would send his mail to the clinic. Taking a deep breath, he clicked the mouse and watched as the message “Your Mail Has Been Sent” appeared in a small box in the center of his screen.

It didn’t take long before he received a response. Bryan had just returned to his room following dinner with his family. Checking his mail, Bryan’s heart began beating faster when he found a reply from the clinic in his in-box. Nervously licking his lips, Bryan opened the mail and found only a link and a password. Clicking on the link, Bryan was taken to a screen that was blank except for the password box. He quickly typed in the password and clicked ENTER. He was instantly transported to a new site that detailed exactly what “Special Services” the clinic offered. There were before and after pictures of castrations, penectomies, nullifications, and even sexual reassignment surgeries. None of the pictures showed the patient’s faces, but Bryan wasn’t interested in the faces.

He studied the penectomy pictures in detail – at times, his nose was only inches from the screen. As usual, his penis sprang to life as he studied the image of a man with nothing between his legs but a large ball sac. There was only the faintest of scars where his penis had once been. He hated to leave the pictures, but Bryan needed to know what the cost and terms for the surgeries were. His fingers were trembling so bad that it took three tries to click on the proper link. Eventually, he reached the right page and carefully read the terms. Special Services surgeries were performed on request with a minimum of intrusive questions on patients of legal age. The clinic required a three week minimum stay to ensure no post-operative complications. The initial part of the stay would be in the clinic itself. After the surgery, the patient would be able to move over to the resort hotel during the recuperation period. The cost of the hotel room was included in the surgery cost of $4,500.00.

Bryan’s heart sank – there was no way he could take that much from his bank account, that is if he had that much from all the savings bonds his grandparents gave him each Christmas and birthday, without explaining what it was for, and that just wasn’t possible. Maybe he could earn the money somehow and save up for the trip by the time he graduated, but he couldn’t imagine being able to save that much on the jobs typically open to a teenager.

For the next three days, Bryan moped around in a deep funk – he couldn’t believe his desire was so close at hand and at the same time, so far out of his reach. He had already discovered that none of the local fast food chains would even consider hiring him until he was sixteen. That was two years away – two years of possible earnings wasted. It just didn’t seem fair, Bryan raged to himself.

On the third day, salvation arrived in the unlikely form.

Dexter Marquand, hands down the nerdiest kid in school, approached Bryan during last period study hall and timidly asked if he could sit next to Bryan. It was easy to see why everyone called Dexter “Mouse.” He had a sharp, rodent-like face and his nose even seemed to twitch as he spoke.

“Um, Mr. Dewitt said you might be able to help me,” Mouse said, looking like he was ready to flinch at any time. The mention of Dewitt’s name pricked Bryan’s interest – Dewitt taught computer classes and ran the school computer lab.

“With what, Mouse?”

“Well, I wanna build a web page …” Mouse began.

“You don’t need my help for that,” Bryan smiled. “You got Microsoft on your computer?” Mouse nodded timidly. “Just use their web page utility – you can make a pretty nice page with that.”

“Yeah – I did that,” Mouse explained. “But, I still don’t know how to do Java script and make my own animations and stuff. That’s what I need help with – would you help me?”

Bryan was about to refuse and return to his funk, but Mouse looked so frightened and pathetic – like he’d cry of Bryan refused that he agreed. Besides, he figured the helping Mouse would take his mind off other things. The look of relief on Mouse’s face was enough to bring a smile to Bryan’s face. He promised to meet him after school and together they could see what could be done to help make Mouse’s web page work.

After school that afternoon, Bryan had followed Mouse home – Mouse was best known as a book nerd, rather than a computer geek, so Bryan was surprised to find Mouse had an impressive state-of-the-art system. The only problem was that Mouse really had no idea how to use most of what he had. He shook his head in amusement and waited as Mouse opened the Microsoft Publisher program and showed Bryan what he had done so far. It wasn’t that bad a job, Bryan decided – of course, it was all basic program template stuff. Mouse wanted to build a web page dedicated to Dr. Who and have some really cool animations to attract attention from other fans. Bryan listened as Mouse described what he had in mind, nodding occasionally.

“Okay – sounds pretty cool,” Bryan finally said. “You did a pretty good job here, to tell you the truth. Especially for a first time effort.” Mouse beamed at the unexpected praise. “Now, let’s scrap everything and build you the page you really have in mind, okay?”

Bryan had mouse log online and then guided him through several sites where he could download free backgrounds. Eventually, they found a background that Mouse excitedly claimed was exactly what he imagined for his page. Nodding, Bryan downloaded the background and logged off. For the next couple of hours, Bryan guided Mouse through selecting the right text font and color that would complement the background they had chosen. He was so engrossed in working with the Java script for the page that he never noticed Mouse’s dad had been sitting behind them for quite a while.

“That’s great work, son.” Mr. Marquand said. “Think you could do the same for me?”

“I guess,” Bryan replied.

“Make it just half as good as you did for Dexter and I’ll pay you,” Mr. Marquand promised. He quickly explained what he wanted. Mr. Marquand was one of the top Optometrists in Los Angeles and often made special contact lenses for movies. He wanted to have a web page made to sell the non-prescription special effects lenses over the Internet.

Bryan grinned, that was going to be pretty cool – he’d be willing to do it for free just to get to see all the cool lenses Mouse’s dad made. But, Mr. Marquand insisted he wanted it to be a business proposition and offered Bryan a thousand dollars for a web page that showcased his lenses, and had a secure credit card feature. Bryan could hardly contain his glee as he promised to have something ready to show Mr. Marquand by Saturday afternoon. He managed to race home in time to gulp down his dinner and dash up to his room to get to work.

On Saturday, Mr. Marquand was flabbergasted at the web page Bryan showed him. The welcome page was a revolving eye that changed as it revolved. Bryan explained he had lifted some examples of the special lenses off another web site just to use as an example. He had a digital camera and could take pictures of the ones Mr. Marquand made himself for the real page. A week later, the real page went up and a beaming Mr. Marquand presented Bryan with a check for fifteen hundred dollars – the thousand they had agreed upon and a five hundred dollar bonus. He also promised to recommend Bryan’s skills to other professionals he knew who were interested in developing a presence on the web.

Bryan wasn’t deluged with requests to build web pages for pay, but he got enough to help him start earning the kind of money that would enable him to pay for his penectomy. As with his journals, Bryan split the money he took in between his regular savings account and a new account. He told his parents the new account was a travel fund for his after he graduated. His father had spent the summer after graduation traveling around Europe on money he had saved by working during his high school years. Bryan knew that explanation would meet with his father’s approval, and get him permission to continue creating web pages for pay.

Bryan sensed a change in the position of the plane and opened his eyes moments before the flight attendants requested everyone return their seats to their upright positions. Bryan felt his heart start beating a little faster as the plane descended – in just a few minutes he’d be making his first contact with someone from the clinic. By the time he found the baggage claim area, the first of the bags from his flight were already coming down the ramp to the conveyer belt. Bryan slipped the carry strap to his notebook carrying case over his head when he saw his backpack appear at the head of the ramp. Claiming his bag, he turned and saw a young man not much older than himself holding a dry erase plaque bearing his name.

Bryan introduced himself, and surprised the young man by speaking passable Spanish. Shyly, the young man insisted on taking Bryan’s backpack before leading him out to the parking lot where a white Range Rover waited. Bryan surprised the young driver even more by taking a seat in the passenger seat and chatting with him as they drove along. He wondered if the driver knew why he was headed to the clinic, and was thankful he didn’t ask. Already, he could feel his stomach fluttering as his nervousness increased.

The drive out to the clinic took a little over an hour. As the resort complex came into view in the distance, the driver pointed it out to Bryan. The brochure information certainly was accurate, Bryan thought. The beautiful Mediterranean-style buildings were right on the beach. The driver obviously knew Bryan was headed to the clinic, because he passed right by the main lobby entrance, proceeding all the way to the far end of the complex. From the outside, the clinic didn’t look any different from the hotel itself – it was in the same Mediterranean-style, with the red tile roof.

Pulling up at the main entrance, a young man in black slacks and white embroidered shirt dashed up to the Range Rover and opened the door for Bryan. Smiling broadly, the young man retrieved Bryan’s bags before guiding him inside to a small reception desk. Bryan found himself amazed at how quickly his reservations were confirmed. He’d already paid half of the necessary fees in advance, and he had the Traveler’s Cheques ready to pay the balance. In just a few minutes, a young bellhop was leading Bryan to his suite overlooking the beach. The bell hop explained that all the rooms were beachside for the comfort of the clients as he showed Bryan the small sitting room, bathroom, and bedroom.

The bedroom surprised Bryan – although artistically decorated, the room was clearly part of a medical facility. The bed was a standard hospital bed, and the wall behind the bed had outlets for oxygen lines, a call button, and intercom. Bryan was trying to take it all in when the bellhop touched his arm.

“If you’ll follow me, we can get you checked in, sir.”

“Right – sure,” Bryan nodded as he followed the young man. He thought he had already checked in and was confused as they headed back towards the reception desk again. The bellhop breezed right past the desk and pushed his way through double doors almost hidden by large potted plants on either side of the doorway.

Once through the doors, the décor changed dramatically. The walls and floors were all polished ceramic tile, leaving no doubt that this was the medical facility. The bellhop guided Bryan to a busy reception desk in the center of the waiting area. Men and women of various ages patiently waiting to be seen by their respective doctors, glanced up curiously as Bryan was led to the polished marble horseshoe reception desk. A redheaded American woman dressed in a no-nonsense business suit of silk blouse, navy skirt and matching jacket looked up as he approached.

“Name?” She asked before Bryan could even place his hands on the counter.

“Uh, Bryan Smith.”

“Right,” the receptionist confirmed, tapping away at a computer monitor behind the counter. “Right,” she studied the monitor for a few seconds before turning back to Bryan. “Okay, your balance has just been posted, so it looks like we can proceed.” She looked Bryan up and down, a tiny smile playing across her lips. “Procedure?”

Bryan felt beads of sweat dot his brow, “Excuse me?”

“What procedure are you here for?” The receptionist asked.

Bryan felt as if every eye in the reception area was trained on him. His stomach felt queasy, “Um, I’m here … “ he tried to remember the name of the doctor he had exchanged e-mails with. For a few moments, his mind was totally blank – then, he remembered the man’s name. Montoya, that was it! “Um, I’ve been exchanging e-mails with Dr. Montoya.”

“Dr. Montoya is the Chief Administrator,” the receptionist replied, frostily. “The doctor you’ll actually be seeing depends upon the procedure. I really do need for you to tell me what you’re here for.”

Bryan could feel his cheeks burning brightly, he lowered his voice, “I, ah I’m here for a – ah – a p-penectomy.”

“Penectomy,” the receptionist repeated in a clear voice that Bryan was sure carried across the reception area as she referred to her computer terminal. “Here we are – yes, you’ve been assigned to Dr. Javier. Just take a seat and he’ll be with you shortly.”

Bryan could his ears burning hotly after his experience with the receptionist. He kept his eyes turned to the floor as he found a seat away from the other patients. Glancing furtively around, Bryan noticed a couple of others in the reception area openly staring in his direction. Bryan quickly turned his face away and studied the pattern on the tile floor. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting and avoiding looking around when a pair of white sneakers stepped into his line of sight.

“Bryan Smith?” The voice was soft, gentle and clearly British. Looking up, Bryan found himself staring into the friendly blue eyes of a young man with bleached short cropped hair. The young man, dressed in crisp light blue scrubs, held out a hand and smiled. “Hi, I’m Sam Kerrigan, Dr. Javier’s assistant. Why don’t you come along with me?”

Bryan was glad he could get away from the curious eyes of the others in the reception area as he followed Sam down the corridors to an examination suite. Sam closed the door behind them and immediately asked Bryan to strip down to his underpants before stepping up on the scales. Sam quickly guided Bryan through the initial exam stages of being weighed, having his blood pressure, pulse and temperature taken. Sam worked quickly and efficiently, managing to get Bryan to relax as he was poked and prodded. With the preliminaries over, Sam guided Bryan into the next room where an examination table with gynecological stirrups dominated the center of the room.

“Okay, Bryan – now, all you have to do is strip out of your underpants and then hop up on the table for me,” Sam instructed.

Bryan’s hands were trembling as he slid his briefs down over his hips to his ankles before stepping out of them. Sam placed the briefs on a small shelf under the table before helping Bryan up on the padded vinyl table. For a moment, Bryan was afraid they were about to start the operation right away as Sam lifted each of his legs, positioning them in the stirrups. Sam just smiled and winked at Bryan before covering him with a sterile sheet from belly to groin.

“Nothing to worry about,” Sam assured him. “Dr. Javier will be here in a minute to finish your examination, ask you a few questions, and that’s it for today.” He was about to leave the room when he took a last look at Bryan. The young man’s eyes flitted around the room nervously. Sliding a stool over by the exam table, Sam squatted on it and began chatting nonstop about where his family lived in England. He asked about Bryan’s home and perked up when he found Bryan loved to go snorkeling. Bryan had just begun feeling calm again when Dr. Javier entered the room.

Bryan didn’t know what he had been expecting, but Dr. Javier certainly wasn’t what he had expected. He guessed he had figured Javier to be middle-aged at the least – with either a mane of grey hair or maybe even balding. Instead, Javier was young – not as young as Sam, but probably no older than thirty-five or so, with a full head of dark black hair carefully slicked back. He looked like an older version of Ricky Martin. As he pulled on rubber gloves, Sam briefed him on Bryan’s stats.

“Very good, very good,” Javier said smoothly. He gave Bryan a broad grin, sliding the stool to the bottom of the exam table. Sitting, he nodded to Sam, who pulled the sheet back. “Now, let’s see what we have to work with down here.” Bryan could feel Javier’s gloved fingers lifting his penis examining, it from every angle. He felt himself beginning to grow hard. Suddenly, he felt Javier begin to pump his dick a little, encouraging it to grow harder.

Finally, he pushed away and stood up, pulling his gloves off with a snap. He noticed Bryan was having trouble meeting his eyes, “Don’t worry about the erection – I see them all the time. Nothing new to me at all, I promise you. Besides, I did want to see what your penis looked like erect.” He glanced over a chart. “We have an opening in surgery tomorrow morning at seven. If that’s okay with you, I’ll have Sam schedule the operating theatre for you.”

“Um – I didn’t know it was going to be so fast,” Bryan stammered. “Ah, you see … the thing is, I wanted to be able to give myself at least a day before I made the final decision.”

“And why is that?” Javier asked gently.

“Well … it probably sounds silly,” Bryan began. Javier nodded and waved his hand, urging Bryan to continue. “See, I figured if I could get myself under control for at least a day … then, well … maybe I wouldn’t need to … you know.”

“Yes, I do know,” Javier smiled. His face grew serious as he reached out and placed his hand on Bryan’s head, gently stroking his head. “You masturbate excessively and have decided to seek a penectomy in order to control yourself.” Before Bryan could say anything, Javier held up a finger to keep him silent and continued. “You’re not the first to think that – let me tell you, it won’t happen. You know it deep in your heart, or you wouldn’t be here now. “

“You’ve already committed yourself this far, Bryan,” Javier said. “You might as well admit to yourself that you’re not going to be happy leaving here with your penis hanging between your legs.”

“I know, but …” Bryan started.

“But, nothing,” Javier said, reasonably. “You spent a lot of money to come here, and you’ve already invested a lot of time coming to this decision. It’s time you finally admitted to yourself that there’s not going to be a miracle in the last day and you’ll suddenly gain control of your behavior. It’s time to commit yourself and stop pretending there’s a way out.” He consulted the chart again. “I’m going to schedule you for surgery on Wednesday morning at eleven. That will give you an extra day – but we both know that’s not going to make any difference at all, don’t we?”

“I guess,” Bryan muttered.

“Take the time to relax tomorrow,” Javier said. “Visit the beach and enjoy yourself. Sam will come around to your suite after dinner and get you ready for Wednesday morning.” He tousled Bryan’s hair and smiled. “You’re making the right choice, and I know you won’t regret it. In fact, you’ll only regret it if you don’t go all the way.”

Bryan nodded, knowing Javier was right. He scrambled to get dressed when Javier released him and promised to see him again before the surgery on Wednesday. Javier watched Bryan shakily exit the exam room.

“Prep him tomorrow night around six,” Javier said over his shoulder as picked up the phone to confirm he’d be in the operating room on Wednesday. “Shave him from chin to toes,” Javier said, cupping one hand over the phone as he waited for the scheduling nurse to confirm the room was still free.

“Is that necessary?” Sam asked.

“Of course not,” Javier smiled. “But, with the nervous types like him, it serves the purpose of making them feel they are totally in the control of someone else.”

“I see,” Sam said. “He seems pretty young – I still can’t believe he’s nineteen.”

“He’s not,” Javier chuckled. “At the most, he’s sixteen or seventeen.”

“But, if you know that, surely you’re …”

“I’m still going to perform the penectomy on him,” Javier said firmly. “Another couple of years won’t make any difference in what he wants, for one thing. For another, I enjoy cutting the penis off of a pretty homosexual boy like him.” He faced Sam and smiled broadly. “I told you when you first arrived that there were certain perks to this job.”

When Bryan got back to his suite, flopped across the overstuffed armchair, flipped on the television and surfed through the channels. He didn’t really feel like watching “Smokey and the Bandit” in Spanish, and the pay-per-view movies didn’t really interest him in the middle of the day. Suddenly, he rolled out of the chair and stared out the sliding glass doors at the beach. He still had a couple of hours of daylight left, he decided to spend them on the beach – maybe take a dip in the surf. Hurrying to his bedroom, Bryan quickly changed into his swim trunks. He considered taking a shirt along, but decided to leave it behind with his flip flops, settling for a towel around his neck instead.

The fine-grained sand of the beach felt warm and soft beneath his feet. He liked the way it worked up between his toes as he walked. For a long time, Bryan wandered just above the water’s edge staring down at the sand. Occasionally, he’d see an interesting shell and stoop to pick it up for a couple of minutes before chucking it out into the breakers. Idly wandering, Bryan lost track of how long he had been walking and how far he had traveled. Suddenly, a Frisbee bounced off his chest and landed on the sand at his feet. Absently, Bryan picked it up and looked around for whoever had thrown it. When he did, Bryan was stunned.

Almost everyone on the beach was totally naked. A tall redhead with a cycler’s lanky build was alternately waving in his direction and holding his hands open to catch the Frisbee. Bryan’s mouth hung open staring at the redhead. He had a nice, even tan all over his body – including the area that normally would have been covered by a bathing suit.

“Oi! Over here, mate!” The redhead called, his accent unmistakably Australian.

Startled, Bryan realized he still had the Frisbee in his hands. He quickly and smoothly flipped it back to its owner. The redhead caught the flying disc nicely, spun on his heel and sent it sailing to another naked young man. Grinning, he jogged over to Bryan, his floppy red hair bouncing along as he loped along.

“Nice throw,” the redhead said.

“Uh, thanks,” Bryan stammered, not sure of where to look.

The redhead grinned a wider, knowing smile as he stuck out his hand, “I’m Simon. It’s your first time, isn’t it?”

“Oh, uh – Bryan,” Bryan stammered, awkwardly sticking out his own hand. “Um, yeah – it is. I didn’t know the beach was – well, a nude beach.”

“Don’t sweat it, mate,” Simon said smoothly. “It’s clothing optional, but most folks quickly shed their suits and enjoy themselves.” He eyed Bryan’s body openly, taking in the Bryan’s defined build, clearly liking what he saw. Bryan spent hours each week in the gym to maintain his build, but didn’t have a chiseled gym-rat type of build. He didn’t really like that gym-rat look, preferring to maintain his smoothly defined look. “You’ve got a nice body,” Simon said. “You should shuck out of those trunks and show everything off.”

Bryan felt the familiar tingling in his groin, “I … um, I’m not sure I’d be so comfortable doing that.”

Glancing down, Simon grinned hungrily, “I’d think keeping those trunks on would be even more uncomfortable.” He reached out and tenderly ran his fingertips across Bryan’s bicep. “I can’t say for sure, but from what I can see, it looks delicious.”

Bryan felt a shudder of excitement run up his spine. He’d never been this openly cruised before. He could feel his face burning hotly as the blood flushed his cheeks a bright crimson. Simon’s grin grew even broader at the display of shyness on the young man before him.

“Look, I think I know of a way you can relax a little,” Simon said slowly, his pink tongue seductively licking his lips. He slid his hand off of Bryan’s bicep to his chest, his fingers expertly circling Bryan’s nipple. Simon glanced knowingly into Bryan’s eyes when he saw the young man’s nipple immediately respond. He shifted his stance so his left leg was between Bryan’s legs, moving in close until their trim bellies were almost touching. He dropped his left hand to cup Bryan’s package, liking what he felt under the trunks. He studied Bryan’s face before craning his neck and nuzzling Bryan’s ear.

Bryan felt his knees turn rubbery when Simon’s hot breath played across his neck. As he pulled away, Simon kissed the tip of the young man’s nose. Straightening, he gave Bryan a long, slow wink.

“C’mon with me,” Simon said, taking the towel around Bryan’s neck in both hands like a leash. “I know somewhere down the beach a way.”

Bryan could feel his heart pounding in his chest and couldn’t help but wonder if Simon could tell how hard it was thumping away. Bryan allowed Simon to lead him down the beach to a large outcropping of rocks. Once they were shielded by the rocks, Simon turned and took Bryan’s face in his hands. Leaning down, he tenderly kissed Bryan full on the mouth. He took his time, nibbling the young man’s lips waiting until he felt Bryan begin to go limp. He worked his fingers through Bryan’s hair, pulling his face closer to his own and forcing his tongue between Bryan’s lips.

Bryan had long dreamed of kissing another male, but had never had the opportunity to have the experience. At first, he wasn’t sure what to do when he felt Simon’s mouth pressing hard against his own. Then, he felt Simon’s tongue pressing against his lips, working its way past them. Unconsciously, Bryan opened his mouth slightly and felt Simon’s tongue invade his mouth. The sensation of Simon exploring his mouth made Bryan feel lightheaded. He snaked his arms around the Australian’s slender waist and moved closer until their bare chests were pressed tightly against each other. He felt Simon working his fingers under the waistband of his trunks, working them down over his hips.

Breaking the kiss, Simon glanced down as he pushed Bryan’s trunks lower. “Let’s see what you’ve got under these things,” he murmured. Free of the constraint of the trunks, Bryan’s dick sprang out, jutting straight ahead. “A thing of pure beauty,” Simon sighed.

Looking down, Bryan examined Simon’s dick – at a good seven inches, it was larger than his own, but not quite as perfectly proportioned. Bryan watched as his own trembling hand reached out and tentatively explored Simon’s erection. The redheaded Australian sighed in delight under the gentle exploration of Bryan’s fingers – usually, guys just grabbed his dick and roughly jerked on it. This Yank, was different, he was treating Simon’s dick like it was a precious object and showing it reverence.

“You’ve never been kissed before, have you?” Simon asked, bending forward again and nibbling on Bryan’s neck.

“No, never,” Bryan admitted breathlessly.

“And, I bet you’ve never had someone suck that delicious looking dick, have you?”

“Uh, no,” Bryan rasped, as Simon continued nibbling on his neck.

Simon didn’t say anything more, he just lowered himself to his knees until his face was level with Bryan’s cock. Simon rapidly flicked his tongue out several times lapping up the clear fluid dripping down copiously. He smiled as Bryan’s body was convulsed by shudder after shudder at the alien sensation he was experiencing. He leaned forward again and kissed the perfect mushroom head of Bryan’s dick, holding his warm lips against the organ.

Bryan moaned as the excitement continued to wash over his body in intense waves. He reached out and placed his hands on Simon’s head, his fingers digging through the thick mane of red hair. Bryan couldn’t believe how soft and silky Simon’s hair was. He’d never felt anything so luxurious and delightful under his fingers before.

Simon gently kneaded Bryan’s balls as he opened his mouth and slid his lips over the flared head of Bryan’s penis. Once the whole head was surrounded by his warm mouth, Simon began circling his tongue all around it. He could feel the Yank trembling violently already. He began to move his hands around Bryan’s body towards his ass. As they neared the young man’s hole, Bryan slightly pulled away. Simon immediately pulled his hands away and began stroking Bryan’s belly. Simon knew some guys didn’t like their ass played with – most did, but there were those who weren’t comfortable with that. He was cool with it – he’d teach Bryan some other things instead. He waited for Bryan to relax once more and then began circling his fingers around the young man’s navel.

Bryan almost jumped out of his skin when he felt Simon’s fingers tracing around his belly button – the feather light touch made his belly quiver almost like little electrical charges were running through it. He’d explored the sensual properties of his navel before on his own, but never received such an intense response before. Before he could grow even a little accustomed to the delightful sensations in his lower belly, Simon opened his mouth wider and took his whole dick into his mouth. A sharp yelp of pleasure escaped Bryan’s lips as he threw his head back in amazement. He had never imagined anything could feel the way Simon’s mouth felt around his cock.

The yelp of surprise was the signal Simon had been waiting for – he took the whole of Bryan’s shaft into his mouth, deep throating the Yank. He knew the feel of his soft palate against the delicate, velvety head of Bryan’s cock would quickly bring him over the top to his most intense orgasm of his young life. He slid his hands around to the small of Bryan’s back, careful to keep them above his waist. He was willing to bet the lad had never explored that particular region of his body. He also knew that on most guys, the small of the back was particularly receptive to light manipulation. He let his fingertips dance up and down along Bryan’s spine and was rewarded with an increase in the already intense trembling that was racking the young man’s body. From the way Bryan suddenly grabbed his hair, Simon knew he was ready to blow his load.

Bryan felt his balls suddenly churn and twist in their loose sac and knew he was about to climax. He was about to pull away when Simon held him tightly in place. Bryan felt the familiar pulsing in his groin and belly and then it felt as if his whole groin simply exploded. His body involuntarily bucked and shook from the intensity of the orgasm. Suddenly, Bryan swayed – he was so light-headed he felt as if he was drifting downwards. The next thing he knew, Simon was guiding him down to the sand. Although Simon swallowed every drop, Bryan instinctively knew he had just shot the biggest load of his life.

They lay spent in the sand for a few minutes before Simon pulled Bryan into the surf, laughing and splashing him. They played and splashed each other for nearly half an hour before Simon led the way back onto the beach. He borrowed Bryan’s towel and patted himself off. Bryan admired the way Simon’s hair fell nicely into place with just a quick finger raking.

“Well now,” Simon said, slapping Bryan on the back. “I think after what you just experienced followed by a cold dip, you should be able to walk proudly on the beach without fear of embarrassment.” Without waiting for an answer, Simon snatched up Bryan’s trunks and began walking away.

“Hey! Where’re you taking my trunks?”

“Want to introduce you to my mate,” Simon called over his shoulder. “He’s probably thinking a shark has taken me for his tea.” He waved Bryan’s trunks over his head. “You want these back, come along and meet Kev. You’ll need them to go back up the beach you know.”

For a few moments, Bryan just stood there not sure what to do. Then, he shrugged and trotted after Simon, feeling silly as his dick bounced from side to side and up and down as he ran. He quickly caught up with the Australian who grinned puckishly at him.

“There now – it’s not so bad, is it?”

“I’m not sure,” Bryan answered. “I’ve never been naked in public like this before.”

“So what?” Simon shot back. “You’re not bad looking – in fact, you’re damn cute. And have a helluva dick – show it off.” He looked up the beach and waved happily towards a curly headed blonde who was jogging in their direction. “That’s Kev. Cute little fuck, isn’t he?”

Bryan had to admit Kev was indeed cute. In fact, cute didn’t begin to do him justice. His short blonde curls had sunbleached highlights that gave them more depth. Bright green eyes that were full of merriment stared from a tan face above incredibly white teeth. Bryan couldn’t help noticing that Kev had no pubic hair – his crotch was shaved completely smooth above his large dick and low hanging balls. Reaching Simon, Kevin gave him a quick hug and kiss. Simon made introductions and Bryan found himself on the receiving end of a similar greeting. Kev led them back to a large blanket where the three of them lay back chatting and soaking up the sun. After a while, Kev climbed to his feet and announced he was going to grab some drinks for the three of them, asking if beer was fine by all.

“Do you think you should be having a beer now?” Simon asked.

“Dunno why not,” Kev shot back. He paused, “Oh, it’s not after six is it? I should be fine.” He grinned at Simon’s concerned stare. “I promise to only have one, Mother.” Seeing the confused look on Bryan’s face, Kev explained, “I’m going to have surgery tomorrow and Simon’s been acting like a mother hen.”

“Surgery?”

“Oh, I guess you don’t know about the clinic up the beach a way,” Kev answered, dropping to his knees. “You must have come up from that American hotel on the other side of the outcropping over there.”

Bryan turned to look in the direction Kev was pointing – to the opposite side of the outcropping where he had Simon had retreated. He felt his face flush when he noticed the look on Simon’s face. Simon hadn’t met him coming from the American hotel, but from the direction of the clinic.

“You’re not from down that way, are you?” Simon asked, his voice taking on a note of surprise. He looked over his shoulder towards the clinic. “You were coming from up that way … from the clinic.”

“Yeah, yeah I was,” Bryan admitted. He wondered whether he should lie and claim to be getting cosmetic surgery – which, when he thought of it, wasn’t far from the truth.

“Hey – are you going to be nutted, too?” Kev asked, excitedly. “I thought I was the only one getting that done while we were here.” He gleefully slapped Bryan on the shoulder.

“I’m, uh … I’m not getting nutted,” Bryan stammered, his face crimson.

“You’re not getting a sex change, are you?” Kevin asked.

“No!” Bryan said, quickly. “Not that!”

“If it’s similar surgery to Kev, here,” Simon said thoughtfully, “that only leaves two alternatives.

Bryan nodded, biting his lip, embarrassed at admitting it, “It’s … a – a – oh hell, I’m here to get my dick cut off.”

Simon regarded him intently for several moments while Bryan blinked away tears. Finally, he asked, “Is it what you want?” Bryan nodded, unable to speak in case he started crying for real. Suddenly, he was being hugged from both sides as Simon stroked his hair tenderly. “Hey, no need to be ashamed or cry – if it’s what you really want, I figure it must be good for you. You should be happy.”

“Yeah,” Kev added, gently. “I knew I wanted to be castrated when I was your age …”

“Hell, you wanted it when you were ten,” Simon joked.

“That’s true,” Kev admitted. He reached down and lightly took hold of Bryan’s dick. “So, you’re going to get this removed and keep your balls?”

“Y-y-yeah,” Bryan nodded.

“Cool,” Kev said. “Bet that will look interesting. You gotta promise me something, though.”

“What’s that?” Bryan was still too humiliated to lift his head.

“You got to show me yours and I’ll show you mine after the operations are done,” Kev said. “Deal?”

Bryan looked up in surprise, “You’re not kidding?”

“Hell no!” Kev exclaimed. “I think it’d be interesting to compare.”

“Oh my god!” Simon suddenly slapped his forehead. “I just realized – man, how stupid can I get?” He pulled Bryan into his arms in a passionate hug. “Back there – that was your first blowjob. And, your last one, too?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Bryan said, realizing the significance of the act for the first time.

“And, I was the one …” Simon trailed off, his hands clapped to his head, pushing his silky bangs back. He turned to Kev. “Forget what I said before – this is a special occasion. Bring back some champagne – the three of us need to toast the event.”

Grinning impishly, Kev jumped to his feet and dashed off. Suddenly, Bryan didn’t feel ashamed anymore. He was embarrassed to be the center of attention, but he also felt good to have two new friends to share his experience with. While he and Simon waited for Kevin’s return, they took in the delightful sights on the beach. The two took turns pointing out the guys they thought were particularly cute.

Kevin returned with three miniature bottles of iced champagne a short while later and eagerly joined in the game of spotting the cute specimens on the beach as he and Bryan toasted each other. They lounged on the beach until the sun was almost gone. By the time he was tugging on his trunks, Bryan was almost sorry to put them back on.

Trudging back to the clinic, Simon stopped and took Bryan in his arms for another passionate kiss. He brushed a hand over Bryan’s windswept hair. “It makes me feel special to know your first and last blowjob came from me,” he said, tenderly. “And, believe me, I’d love to have you in my mouth again right now. And, I think you’d like it, too. But, I won’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Simon said, kissing the tip of Bryan’s nose. “I want you to always remember The One and Only. From the way you reacted, it was pretty good for you.”

“Good doesn’t even begin to describe it,” Bryan said, fervently.

“Cool – then that one time will always be the most vivid in you mind for always,” Simon said. “And, I’ll always be able to remember how you damn near fainted when you came – and, that I was the one who did it to you.”

Reaching the clinic, Bryan stood by the steps to his suite and watched as Simon and Kev disappeared into the building arm in arm. He sank onto the sand, hugging his knees to his chest as he watched the waves roll in and remembered. A smile crept across his face – he had to admit he had kind of hoped to get another blowjob, but Simon was right. He’d experienced the most intense, most perfect orgasm of his life behind the rocks on the beach. That should be the only one for him to remember for the rest of his life. His mind wandered back to the rocky cove on the beach – he could almost feel Simon’s silky, soft red hair under his fingers again, the way his navel and small of his back felt as Simon’s fingers worked their magic, and most of all he remembered the warm feeling of Simon’s mouth. If ever a memory deserved to be unique, that was the one.