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I remember my childhood. Living amongst tall blocks of flats, a grey urban jungle. Sure it may be pretty drab, but you had lots of people in the neighbourhood. This can work both ways though, more neighbours means more company, but more neighbours also mean more people you don't know. Every afternoon after school, we'd get the schoolbus home, me and the other kids in the neighbourhood. There were at least a dozen of us from my neighbourhood, who attended my school. As a result, mom never felt too worried about letting me come home alone. She DID tell me all the time, never to talk to strangers. Being a naughty kid who always thought I knew everything, I did my best to ignore her. And so it was, that one afternoon, I was coming home from school. Sometimes, its amazing how much a 12 year old thinks he knows, when he's actually pretty ignorant. I took the route I always took from the bus stop home, minding my own business, not looking forward to going home to a few hours of boredom. I was walking by one of the empty spaces u often find below a block of flats, with benches n stuff for people to rest their legs, when I saw this lady sitting on one of the benches, looking at me. She couldn't have been more than 25. I wasn't too sure though, because at age 12, its kinda hard to tell the difference between someone who is 18 and someone who is 35. They're all old people isn't it? That was how it seemed to me anyways. Anyways she was wearing a pair of jeans and a fitted tee. Very pretty I thought. 12 was also the age when I started noticing girls. She caught my eye, and then beckoned me over. I walked over not particularly interested, wondering what she wanted, and not exactly remembering my mom's constant warnings. As I got near, she asked, "Hey little boy, where are u headed off to?" "Um..." I replied, "Nowhere really. I'm supposed to go home but theres nothing to do at home and nobody's in. Hey u'know my mom says I'm not supposed to talk to strangers..." She laughed a bit, a little titter like a nightingale, and replied, "Awww come now. I live here. I'm not really a stranger. And I like to make friends. Anyways you said nobody's at home right? And you've got nothing to do. Why don't you come to my place? I've got the new Sony Playstation in my flat!" Ohhhhh... now if there were any of her words which caught my interests, it was "Sony Playstation". Gee who could resist? And besides, she looked friendly enough, she's probably harmless. I mean, how evil could a young lady be? If only I knew... oh the innocence of youth. 5 minutes later saw me outside her flat, waiting impatiently for her to unlock her door. Upon entering her flat, I noticed the Sony PS sitting pretty on the TV rack. *Droooool* I looked at her, she smiled and nodded, so I set myself down in front of the TV and started playing on the PS. It was another hour before I even got up for a break. I looked around, but she wasn't in the living room. I wanted something to drink, so I went to see if she was in one of the rooms. *knock knock* "come on in" I'd found her in the 2nd room I looked. The flat was kinda cosy and nice-ish. Not very big, just 2 bedrooms a kitchen, a living room, an en-suite toilet for her bedroom, and another small toilet accessed from the kitchen. I entered her room, which was very prettily decorated. "heya kid, what do u want?" "um, im thirsty. I want some water please" "sure. lemmie get it." so saying, she told me to wait in her room and she went to get my drink. A couple of minutes later she was back. I was drinking from the glass when I caught her staring at me again from the corner of my eye. Finishing the drink, I walked over to the desk she was sitting in front of. "um thanks" "u're welcome. hey come sit here. I'm wondering, are there any girls u like?" Hmm.... well, 12's the age I was starting to notice girls, like I said earlier. But I still had this 'Boys vs Girls' mentality left over from the good old days of being 9 and afraid of cooties. Ok I'd heard about sex and I kinda knew what it was but thats about it. So thinking awhile, I replied, "Well there's a couple of pretty girls in my school but there aren't really any girls I like" "Hmm," She thought "Well, do u wanna see some pics of girls? They're very pretty" And with that, she opened up a browser window and brought up this website. A few clicks later, and I was staring at pictures of naked girls. "Ohh...errr....." I was speechless. The girls were hot. Cute little jap beauties. And they had school uniforms on like me too, so they couldn't have been much older (it wasn't till I got older before I found out they had to be 18 or it was illegal) Yummy... It wasn't long before my little boy cock got hard. I squirmed a bit because it was just uncomfortable to sit down with a hard-on. Otherwise I wasn't too bothered about having a hard-on in front of her. That thing about boys being embarrassed of a hard-on in public? I don't know what's the deal about that really. Ok maybe I'd be kinda embarrassed if she was a fellow classmate or a gal my age. Well shes a lady, and that makes it alright doesn't it? My family doctor is a lady and she gets to see my cock in the nude, so I guess it's alright for grown-up women to see a boy with a hard on. Going along with that logic, I didn't say no when she asked if I had a hard-on, and I didn't say no when she asked if I would like to take my school pants off to ease the pressure of my hard cock against my pants. It's just like going to my doctor, I reasoned. "Ohhh what a cute little dick" "Ah....." I searched my brains for something to say, "It's just so-so..." I blushed a bit. My lady doctor never said my cock was cute. She moved closer and looked at it, then at me. "Does it feel good?" She asked. "Yea... feels really nice." I replied with a smile. "Do u know why it feels good?" she asked again. "Ummm..." I thought for a bit, before answering "Nope" "Well," She started "you see, that nice feeling is caused by the blood flowing into your dick. The flow of the blood entering your little dick is what causes the nice feelings. Once your dick is full of blood, it will stop feeling nice until it becomes soft and gets hard again." "Oh..." I said. Had I know what an utterly bullshit explanation that was, I might have ran out. But I didn't know it was bullshit. So I just nodded at this piece of information. "Can u start to feel the nice feeling go away?" She asked, looking right into my eyes. I looked down and thought that it did feel like the nice feelings in my little 4 incher was starting to subside. So I said, "Yea I think so." "Do u want to make that feeling last longer?" She asked "How?" I was curious. "Simple. The reason the blood stops flowing into your dick is because its tiny and there is only so much space for your dick. If the blood kept flowing into your dick non-stop, u could feel nice for a long time." "How do keep the blood flowing into my cock?" "Simple. If your dick was limitless, it would keep flowing. There is one way to make your dick 'limitless' " "How?" I asked She replied with a smile on her face, "Cut it off." "Really?" I replied with a slightly disbelieving look on my face. "Yes its true." She replied as she grabbed the base of my cock with her finger and thumb, "if your dick was cut off here, the blood would keep flowing in, as though u had a 'limitless' dick so you would feel nice for a longer time. You would enjoy it. Would you like to try?" "Gee...." I pondered. It was very tempting to feel nice for a longer time. I've only felt that nice feeling a few minutes at the most everytime I got hard. I wanted the feeling to last longer. Of course there was that small matter of not having a cock anymore. I asked her about that. "Oh don't worry," She said, "You can still live normally without a dick." "But what about peeing? I use my cock to pee, if I don't have a cock anymore, can I still pee?" I asked "Of course silly! She laughed, "I don't have a dick either, neither do those cute girls u see, but we can pee too. You can pee even without a dick" "Hmmm ok..." I muttered, getting more convinced about it. After a few more minutes, I told her, "Ok, I want to try it." "Oh thats great! I can help you cut your dick off. I don't think you know how to do that right? So I'll help you do the cutting." She said with a fair bit of excitement. I followed her into her en-suite bathroom. She told me to take a pee. "Why?" I asked her. "I'm sure you want to feel the piss flowing thru your dick one last time don't you? After we cut it off, you can never feel the feeling of your piss flowing thru your dick ever again." Gee... She was right. I did want to experience peeing thru my own cock one last time. I suppose in my 12 yr old mind, having to sit to pee for the rest of my life was a good exchange for being able to feel nice longer for awhile. So I took a pee, the last time I ever would thru my own cock. While I was taking my last pee thru my cock, she had gone back into her room and took this guillotine thing meant for cutting papers out. You know the kind, with a heavy blade and hinged at one end, with a handle on the other end of the blade, the kind which our teachers never allowed us to touch without adult supervision. Anyways, she shut the toilet bowl cover and placed the guillotine on it after I'd done my pee. She opened up the blade and told me to kneel on a low stool in front of it, and place my cock under the blade. I place my cock under the blade, and then she slid the entire guillotine so that it was right up against my crotch. It seems she was going to cut my entire dick off. Oh well as long as I could enjoy a nice feeling for a longer time than I normally had. "Ready...?" She asked as she raised the blade higher with both hands. "Wait! I forgot to ask you, will it hurt?" In the excitement I'd forgotten about it, but now that it was about to happen, I got a bit frightened and nervous. The last time I'd cut my thumb on dad's swiss army knife it'd hurt like hell. I wondered if this would hurt too. "Oh it will hurt a little bit when I'm cutting it off. But once I'm done, you will feel very nice. Besides, you're a boy, u should be brave. I'm sure you can bear a little pain right?" Well.... yea I suppose so. If its just a little bit, I guess I should bear with it like a boy. So with some fear and nervousness still in me, I nodded at her to do it. *SLAM!!!* She brought the blade down hard. It cut thru my cock flesh cleanly. I didn't even feel my cock give any resistance. It was like, excuse the cliché, a knife thru hot butter. For a second I wondered how come my cock wasn't cut off yet. Then I saw it bounce up a bit, recoiling from the force of the chop. She reached out and took my severed cock from the guillotine board. And thats when the pain hit me. I almost collapsed onto the floor, grabbing the red fleshy wound which marked where my cock used to be connected to my crotch, trying to squeeze the pain away. At the same time, somewhere in the back of my mind, I went into partial shock, both at the pain and at the reality that my cock has actually been chopped off. As I lay twitching in pain on the bathroom floor, hands on my crotch trying to ease the intense pain, crying tears of pain and shock, she leaned over me and asked, "How? Is it nice? Do you enjoy it?" "Owww it hurts it hurts! Ahhhhh!!!" I cried. "Oh don't be a baby!" She said and then forced my legs apart. She put a knee on each of my legs to keep them spread, then used her arms to pin my hands back so I couldn't grab at my painful crotch. "Enjoy it!" She yelled into my face, as she pinned me down. As I cried and sobbed, I calmed down a bit. Slowly the intense pain radiating in my crotch grew to a duller ache. And strangely it WAS starting to feel rather nice. So I lay there, enjoying the dull pain radiating out from my crotch, at the spot where my cock was previously attached to me. I guess I could say that I was enjoying the feeling of having just had my cock chopped off. By this time she had gotten one of her sanitary pads and used it to stop the bleeding. After another half an hour more or so, I felt enough strength to stand up. I looked at her and said, "I enjoyed it a bit. Thanks for helping me try it." "You're welcome. Hey don't tell your family about it ok?" She said "Why not? "If they knew, then they would know that u wanted to feel the nice feeling for a long time, and that would tell them that u're a disgusting dirty little boy. You don't want your mommy to know that do you?" "Oh no I guess not." I said. So I went home after that, leaving my cock with her, which I'd agreed to give her as a gift for her helping me to cut my cock off. I started to sit to pee from that day onwards, but I never told anyone else about it. It was till I was 17 and had gone for my pre military enlistment checkup before anyone else found out I was cockless. Before that though, I learned more about sex and how our sex organs worked. I was rather mortified and yet, a bit glad that I've experienced something nobody else normally would. But it was embarrassing for my schoolmates to know I was missing my cock so I never told anyone else out of fear of ridicule. Anyway because I don't have a cock, they assigned me to be a clerk in the army. I was offered the choice of wearing either the male uniforms or the female ones, and I decided that I should wear a female uniform, since without a cock, I wasn't exactly a male anymore. My parents still don't know though, because I change in camp, and jeans and tees are quite androgynous. As for the future, I have yet to decide on it. I kinda like wearing girl's clothes, it feels quite "me". Perhaps I might decide to have a sex change, but I'll just have to wait and see. |