|
I was born at the turn of the century, before the Great War ("The War to End All Wars " , "The War to Make the World Safe for Democracy" , oh sure). My damn-fool sister came to my birthday party bringing her sniveling brats with her. Both of them looked as if they had colds, but, of course, Uncle Eddy was expected to dandle them on his knees. Then, she piped up in that stupid squeeky voice of hers "Oh, by the way, Petey has the mumps. Has Eddy had them ?" Noooooo, Uncle Eddy had not had them, but Uncle Eddy caught them. A week later I looked like I had the goiter. So, was that bad enough ? Of course not ! The infection went down into my balls and they swelled up and ached. Remember the worst toothache you've ever had ? OK, multiply that by about 20. That's how my balls ached. They swelled up as big as mangoes (we didn't have mangoes in the US back then, but they're the right size and shape.), great globes of pain anchoring me to my bed. After about a week, the swelling in the parotid glands in my neck went down but the swelling in my balls didn't. It got worse and hurt worse. The doctor examined my balls and announced "They have suppurated. They have become a purulent collection and must be removed immediately to prevent blood poisoning." " OH NO !" I exclaimed "Those are my testicles; those are the glands that are going to make me a man.That's where the sperm to make my kids will come from." "Not for you, Eddy" said the doctor. "You'll die if they're not removed." The next morning, at 8:00 A.M., I was admitted to the hospital.At the same time the next day, I left, an it, my sexual development nipped in the bud. I had just begun to show the beginnings of pubescence. My voice was breaking, there was a smudge of mustache on my upper lip, I had a few pubic hairs, and I'd had a couple of wet dreams. That's as far as it ever got.. Eleven years later, scientists isolated the male hormone, testosterone. It was not available for therapeutic use for almost another fifteen years. Then, it was horrendously expensive about $150 a week in a day when there was no such thing as health insurance.That's equivalent in buying power to about $2200 per week, today. But, $150 was ten times a weeks wages for most men, if a man had a job at all, for the Depression was going on. Hormone replacement therapy didn't become affordable or available to me until after the war (World War II, that is). By then I was 45 years old. I had already lost my youth and my young manhood. I decided, whether wisely or not, I'll never be sure, that I didn't want to go through puberty in my mid-40's , so I elected not to bother with hormone treatments. Maybe, if I'd guessed that I was going to live so very long, I might have. As I look back on a long, empty, loveless life, I often wonder, Why did this have to happen to me ? |