SCENE: The waiting room of a doctor’s office, empty except for one middle-aged man in coat and tie sitting quietly and holding his briefcase on his lap. The door opens and Gavril and Mr. Robbins enter.

Gavril: (looking at the man in the waiting room) Hello, Mr. Silver. What are you doing here? Do you have an appointment with Dr. Pyle too?

Mr. Silver: No, Gav. I’m waiting for you and your father. I need to make sure that Dr. Pyle writes his report exactly as we need it. I’ve got an appointment with the judge this afternoon to file your manumission papers and your dad’s petition to adopt you. We just need to be certain that the wording is exactly right.

Gavril: (Turning and hugging Mr. Robbins) That’s great! How soon will Dad really be my dad?

Mr. Silver: It shouldn’t take more than a month or two for all the paperwork to come through. I’ll certainly be pushing it as fast as I can.

Gavril: That's great! I’d sure rather have Dad than my balls.

Mr. Robbins: (Hugging Gavril) And, I love you too! It’ll be good to have it legal and done with.

(A male nurse opens the door to the inner area and steps into the waiting room)

Nurse: Gavril. Gavril Robbins, the doctor will see you now. Please come with me.

Mr. Silver: I think we all need to go in. We need to talk with Dr. Pyle before he does the surgery.

Nurse: O.K., you can all follow me then. We’ll head back toward the examination room before we take Gavril to the surgery.

(They all go through the door into a wide hallway)

Nurse: Gavril, we need to get your height and weight first. If you’d just step on the scale here….

(After getting height and weight, the nurse shows them to an examination room)

Nurse: O.K., Gavril, please take off your clothes so the doctor can examine you. Take off everything except your undershorts. The doctor will be in in just a few minutes.

Gavril: Yes, sir. I’ll be ready for him.

(The nurse leaves, closing the door behind him. The two men sit down as Gavril begins undressing. He’s just folding the last of his clothes and placing them on the small table in the room when there’s a quick knock and the door opens. Dr. Pyle enters.)

Dr. Pyle: Good morning, everyone.

Chorus: Good morning, Dr. Pyle.

Dr. Pyle: Are you ready, Gavril?

Gavril: I’m ready for you to cut my balls off whenever you’re ready.

Dr. Pyle: I just have you down for a circumcision. You’re not being castrated today…. Or, ever if I can help it.

Gavril: But isn’t that why I’m here?

Mr. Silver: No, but that’s why I’m here and why we need to get the wording on the medical records exactly right.

Gavril: But….

Mr. Robbins: Sit down, Gav. We need to explain exactly what’s happening. Daniel’s dad found a small loophole in the law and we’re going to use it while we can. Dr. Pyle has agreed to help us with it.

Gavril: But, I thought I was going to be castrated today. I told all my friends I would be….

Mr. Silver: And that’s exactly what they all need to think until after all the manumission paperwork is done and your adoption has gone through. No one, not even Daniel, can know that you haven’t been castrated today. Not for at least a couple of months.

Gavril: I thought the law said that I had to be castrated before I could be freed.

Mr. Silver: The law says quite clearly that someone has to be castrated before you can be set free. It just implies that it should be you. It’s just barely ambiguous enough for us to wiggle through.

Gavril: Someone? Someone? Who has to be…?

Mr. Robbins: I voluntered for that position.

Gavril: But, Dad…. No, I’m ready. Not you.

Mr. Robbins: Too late. It’s already done. Remember the business trip that I went on last month?

Gavril: Yes, but….

Mr. Robbins: Dr. Pyle castrated me then and I spent the rest of the week in a hotel room recovering while you were staying with the Silvers.

Gavril: But….

Mr. Robbins: Dr. Pyle put in the prostheses that we’d ordered for you. I’ve been putting on a testosterone gel every morning, just like you would be if you were castrated. Everything is just fine, and you should be able to keep your testicles. That’s all that’s important.

Gavril: But, Dad….

Mr. Robbins: No buts about it. I’ve already been castrated. You shouldn’t need to be, though you do need to be circumcised if this is going to work.

Gavril: What…. How….

Mr. Silver: Gav, what your dad is saying is that everyone needs to think that you’ve been castrated, just as they think the law requires. Only the four of us in this room, plus the nurse who will help Dr. Pyle, will know that you haven’t been. After the circumcision, you’ll certainly be in plenty of pain for a week or more. You won’t have to pretend like you’ve been castrated; you’ll just need to be careful about what you say to everyone.

Gavril: But, why?

Mr. Silver: We don’t want any glitches until all of the paperwork comes through. We don’t want any questions asked until you’re free and properly adopted. While your dad and I have known about this tiny loophole for over a year, it’s taken that long to find a judge who’s willing to free you before you’re eighteen. And, he’s kept insisting on proof that you’ve had your surgery before he’ll sign anything. Fortunately, he’s a prude and won’t use the word “castration,” just “surgery.” Your circumcision will be surgery enough, since he’ll never say the word “castration” or ask about your “testicles.” And, he’s definitely enough of a prude that he’d never ask to examine you when you have your court appearance to tell him personally that you want to be adopted by your dad. Once you’re free, though, you’re free. No one can revoke that. We just have to play the proper game for a month or two until he signs the papers….

Gavril: But, why Dad? You didn’t need to. I was ready. I’ve been ready to be castrated since my uncle sold me. You didn’t need to do this….

Mr. Robbins: Gav, you’re my son. I’m already 61 and I don’t have much need of testicles. You’re still only 14 and have a lot of use of yours ahead of you. You’ve already got half the girls in the country club chasing you. Once you get to go to school after you’re free, you’ll have even more girls chasing you. After you graduate from college, I expect you to settle down, marry, and give me some more grandchildren. I hope I live long enough to play with them. That’s what I want. You’re my son, and I love you.

Gavril: And I love you too! (Hugging Mr. Robbins)