Romulo Montealegre was the youngest of the Montealegri, 20 years old, exceptionally handsome, as his brothers grudgingly acknowledged, bold, courageous, and, for that reason fortunately, a very good swordsman. He was also, and not only because of his age, the most passionate and amorous of the Montealegre boys.

   The youngest of the Capinere was Giovinetta, a singularly beautiful young woman, monumental of bosom, ample of figure, and often embarrassingly high-spirited.At 18, she was more than sufficiently nubile, and unmarried only because her father, Rodrigo, had not yet settled on a suitor wealthy and influential enough to be useful to him.

   That these two should ever have fallen in love is one of the tragic ironies of fate. Such a liaison was hopelessly impossible.

However, Romulo was decidedly a breast man and, when he beheld Giovinetta's heaving bosom in church, he became instantly inflamed with passion. Suddenly, nothing else mattered to him. She was in his thoughts throughout the day and in his dreams throughout the night, such dreams as leave the sheets sticky and stiff.

   However, the bold young Romulo was no mere dreamer. He had determined that the alley between the Arnolfini and Bernini residences ended at the back gate of the Capinere's garden, 

   Equipping himself with a bottle of oil, Romulo made certain that the hinges and latch of that gate were silent. Long had he lurked in that alley to learn that the balcony of  Giovinetta's bedroom (the very thought of which made Romulo's codpiece protrude) overlooked the garden and that she often sat there in the evening to enjoy the view. 

   And so, on a warm May evening, Romulo opened the gate and crept cross the garden to the wall of the Palazzo Capinera. It was not quite dusk yet, and Gioveinetta had caught sight of him already. Romulo climbed the viy on the wall alongside the balcony and stuck his head over the railing.

   "Ola, son Romulo." ("Hi, I'm Romulo.") he said. Rather to his surprise, Giovinetta, never the shyest or most staid of maidens, replied "Tu sei beo." ("You're cute.") [Note: this is 15th century Italian.] Needless to say, the conversation did NOT go downhill from there , though Romulo did not attempt to get onto the balcony or "get fresh" with Giovinetta this time. Giovinetta had seen Romulo at church before and, though pretending not to notice him, knew already who he was.

   For about a fortnight, Romulo kept his distance. Then Giovinetta remarked "You can't be very comfortable clinging to that vine. Why don't you come up here and sit down ?" As Romulo climbed over the railing, the size and rigidity of his cazzo became very visible and very interesting to Giovinetta. Their conversation became more frank, and . the next time Romulo visited, they abandoned talk to make "the beast with two backs."

   It was probably their mutual passion which led both of them to forget two things. Once Romulo had pierced Giovinetta's maidenhead, she became "damaged goods" and much less useful to her father's plans and, there was always the possibility that Romulo might get her with child, further greatly complicating matters.

   Realizing the impossibility of obtaining their parents' permission to wed, Romulo and Giovinetta decided to elope. (Oddly enough, the idea was hers originally.) However, in the meantime, nature had taken its course. Giovinetta's nanny,Adelaide, now retained as a woman in waiting, noticed that Giovinetta had stopped menstruating and reported the fact to Lady Capinera who reported it in turn to her husband who nearly brought the ceiling down with his shouting, Especially when Adelaide said that she thought that she had seen Romulo Montealegre in the garden but was unsure.

   Ser Rodrigo Capinera called his sons together. "Some young man has been visiting Giovinetta. He comes through the garden and he may be ROMULO MONTEALEGRE !" He will doubtless come again tonight. Waylay him in the alley between the Arnolfini and Bernini residenze, but do not slay him. Bring me his coglioni .

   Romulo had planned the elopement carefully. He had arranged passage on a ship to Genova. He had a horse waiting at the end of the alley. He brought a coil of rope with him. The plan was that he would climb to the balcony, tie the rope around Giovinetta's waist, lower her to the ground, climb down the ivy, and they would escape on his horse to the ship awaiting them.

   So it was that. at dusk, Romulo crept through the alley between the Arnolfini and Bernini residences. He was barely half way to the garden gate, though, when he was jumped by five men in black dominoes. One seized his sword. disarming him, and the others held and gagged him, though he dared not cry out where he was for fear of attracting the Capinere, for he knew not that they were upon him already.

   One of them tore off Romulo's codpiece, exposing his already rigid cazzo and his heavy low-hanging coglioni. Romulo twisted and turned and struggled knowing that his precious male parts were in danger.Held by four men, he could do nothing. The man who had torn away his codpiece drew his dagger and took ahold of Romulo's testicles with his left hand. He paused a moment with the bitter edge of his dagger resting lightly on the thin skin of Romulo's scrotum, savoring the young man's jeopardy and fear. Then, with one quick slash of the dagger, he sliced through the skin and the cords which supported the very core of Romulo's being. Romulo screamed into the gag as tears came to his eyes. His plans had come to naught. He had nothing more to offer Giovinetta. His assailants released Romulo and ran UP the alley to the gardens of the Palazzo Capinera.

   Rodrigo Capinera laughed heartily as his sons presented him with the fruits of their effort. Eccelente ! he exclaimed. Carefully inverting a bowl over the glands, he summoned Giovinetta. She was worried and perturbed that Romulo had not come as he had promised to. When she appeared, Rodrigo said "I have something to show you, Giovinetta." With those words, he lifted the bowl. "Ugh, what are they ?" asked Giovinetta. "Oh you have seen them before, though covered with skin, and felt them rolling on your thighs, slut. But minutes ago, they hung between the thighs of Romulo Montealegre !"  "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !" shrieked Giovinetta -- and fainted.

   When she awoke, the hideous sight had been removed. "Tomorrow, you will begin a journey to Abruzzo to visit your aunt and uncle there and to give birth to the eunuch Romulo's bastard." Depending on its sex, i shall decide what is to be done with it. If it is a man-child, the midwife will geld it, as befits the son of a eunuch. Now go to your room. He will not visit you tonight."
   Rodrigo's sons entered their father's study bearing a number of sheets of foolscap. "We thought to post these in the city to embarrass Romulo. " Rodrigo read them and slapped his thigh. "Oh, he'll never live these down." The boys left to distribute the lampoons.

   Meanwhile, Romulo, bleeding badly, crawled out of the alley and rode his horse to the house of Fra Leonardo, a friendly monk skilled in medicine. He hammered on the door until Fra Leonardo's servant, Giuseppe answered it it and seeing Romulo's injured state, brought him inside and called his master.

Romulo explained what had happened and Fra Leonardo did his best to stanch the bleeding, make Romulo as comfortable as possible, and gave him beef broth and red wine to offset the effects of the loss of blood. Fra Leonardo watched over the wounded youth while Romulo fell into a fitful and feverish sleep. 

   The following morning, Romulo's brother, Teobaldo, visited him as soon as he awoke. After expressing his commiseration, Teobaldo brought out some torn foolscap sheets. "These are posted all over the city" "What do they say ?" Romulo asked.   "Lost: one codpiece and two coglioni, in the alley between the Arnolfini and Bernini residences. If found, please return to owner, Romulo Montealagre."  "Ola, Romulo, why is your codpiece so loose these days ?"  "Sing us an UT in altissimo, Romulo, nostro amato castrato."  " Romulo's barber has lost a customer for shaves."  " The Montealegri"s stallion has become a gelding. " If there's any literate person in this city who doesn't know that you've been castrated, it's because he's gone blind.

   "What can I do ?" asked Romulo. "Well, if it were a woman who'd gotten into an embarrassing situastion like this, I'd say 'Get thee to a nunnery.' You're going to be such a laughingstock that you'd best retire to a monastery. Unfortunately, many monasteries won't accept eunuchs."  "Why not" asked Romulo.  

"I hear that eunuchs become so feminine in appearance that they arouse illicit lust in the monks." "Disgusting" was Romulo's comment. "Maybe Fra Leonardo knows of a monastery that accepts eunuchs."  "Hey, Leonardo, do you know a monastery that accepts eunuchs. ? Fra Leonardo came in with a serious expression. "Welllll, yes" he replied reluctantly, San Sebastiano, but I don't recommend it.

   "Why not ?" asked Romulo. "They accept men of low character. Many of the monks are people you wouldn't ordinarily associate with. But, their abbot, Fr. Florencio is a strict disciplinarian. He would probably keep them in line.. Romulo sighed. "However, I don't really want to spend my life in a monastery. I'm young and fun-loving. It sounds awfully grim to me." "Frankly," said  Teobaldo, "once you see how people ridicule you, you may welcome such a refuge."

   A fortnight later, when Romulo was up and about again, he went to church. He knew that Giovinetta would not be there, for Fra Leonardo told him that she had gone to Abruzzo for nine months. Romulo understood the figure, of course, and was pleased that he would be a father once even though he never could again

   His attendance in church proved to be an ordeal. While he waited outside the church to enter, men hoisted their codpieces and winked at him or smirked at him. He overheard remarks about capons, barrows, steers and geldings, As Romulo walked down the aisle to the Montealegre pew, he heard someone say "Shouldn't it sit with the women now ?" "Oh no" was the reply. "It isn't even a woman. At least women can bear children. Eunuchs can't either beget nor bear them." 

   Why the priest chose Matthew 19:12 as the subject for his sermon no one knows, but the words "There be those who have been made eunuchs of men and there be those who have made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven's sake." were not exactly conforting to Romulo. This experience finally convinced Romulo that he would probably be better off in a monastery. 

   And so, the next morning found him at the gate of San Sebastiano.

                           End of Part One