But I quickly realized that it wasn't a dream. My body was shaved smooth. My asshole was stretched and sore. My buttocks were still bruised. I reached to my dick; it was still locked in His chastity lock. I had really done it! In my mind, I replayed the week that had passed: the week that ended with me saying that I would be His slave, forever, with no way out. I thought I had wanted a boyfriend, but I had ended up with a Master. He told me to go home, collect a few things, tell people I was going away, and return to Him. I had one half day. By tonight, I was supposed to be back on a plane to Him. In the haze, I had agreed. If I tried to back out, He said He'd find me and take me anyway. I was scared of going, scared of staying. Thinking about Him, the Man that now ‘owned’ me as His ‘property’, my penis became hard as a rock inside its binding. At least that one part of me wasn't so confused.

I got up and pulled on a loose pair of jeans that could cover up the contraption locked on my cock and balls. I found a clean shirt from my closet and slipped on some sneakers. In the bathroom, I relieved myself of a night of piss, careful to aim a stream with my dick locked in.

My mother was in the kitchen, talking on the phone. It was her latest boyfriend; I couldn't remember his name. They were in the lovey-dovey stage of the relationship, clinging to each other and spending a lot of time alone. Soon would come the let down stage, followed by the fighting stage, the drinking stage, the make-up stage, the final break-up crash stage. I had seen it before a dozen times. If we were lucky, there wouldn’t be a drug binge stage mixed in.

She hung up the phone. "I didn't know you were home. I thought you were going to be on that trip with what's his name, that rich white guy."

"I already went, Mom," I said. She didn't even realize I was gone, so there was no chance she’d be happy that I had returned.

"Oh, really?" she said. "Well, TJ is taking me down to Atlantic City tonight. We probably won't be back for a few days. You'll have to go buy some stuff to eat, ‘cause we ain't got nothin'."

"Ah, actually," I heard myself say, "I probably won't be here. I told a buddy that I'd go with him down to check out our school. Supposed to go tomorrow."

"Oh, so you're not goin’ to be here anyway?" She seemed relieved.

"I'm not sure how long we'll be gone."

I looked at her, trying to memorize her features. I realized that if I went through with it, I might never see her again. She had done her best to care for me, but I had made it to adulthood only because other people cared more than she did. Between her boyfriends and her drugs and drinking, I practically had to raise myself. Perhaps it really was time to let someone else watch over me.

"Well, all right, then. I have to get to work. That boss of mine is threatening to lay me off if I'm late again."

She leaned down and gave me a cursory kiss on the cheek. "Bye baby", she said.

"Good bye, mother," I said in return. She walked toward the door humming a pop tune to herself. It would be weeks before she realized I was gone, and by then it would be impossible to find me.

I decided to call me friend Chucky. He had been my friend all through high school, and my boyfriend for a few months last summer. Then he decided that he was more straight then bi, and started to go out with Vanessa, the school hootchie. We weren't as close as before, but he was the one friend who I actually liked to hang out with.

"Dude, what's up?" he said. "How was your fresh-air fund trip?"

"You're funny," I said, "You should get a job on Comedy Central or something. It was cool, but I’m glad to be back in the city."

"Yeah, dude, what do they do in Kansas for fun, anyway? Plant some corn? Feed some pigs?"

"It wasn't Kansas, dude." Time to change the subject. "So what are you doin'?"

"Shit, man, they got me working like a dog. I think you got the right idea, dude, going to college, because this shit really sucks." He had gotten a job as a delivery man for an appliance store.

"I told you that would suck. Did you at least get a TV for cheap?"

"Not hardly. You have to sign for everything. No way anything can fall off the truck." He paused. "Dude,

I got to get in there. Can you call me later?"

"Maybe, I'm going to head to a relative's house in Florida for a couple of weeks. I'll have to hook up with you later."

"Cool, dude, stay out of trouble."

I hung up the phone and realized he wouldn't notice I was gone either. There was one more call to make.

"Hey buddy, you got back OK." It was Jim, the rich guy who had taken me under his wing. He had no idea that I had become the slave of his best friend.

"Yeah, it was cool. Your friend was nice, but I was ready to come home."

"He's OK, for a faggot." He laughed at his own smear. "You get to do anything?"

"Well, I sat around and watched movies for a couple of days, while he went to work. Then we went up to his cabin, which was somewhere in the mountains."

"Oh, you know, I've heard him talking about that place, but I've never been. Nice?"

"Too many woods for me. I think I got sick from the fresh air."

He laughed. I heard some talking in the background. "Listen, I'm going to have to run. Maybe we can get together sometime and shoot some hoops."

"Sure," I said, "but, I have an old uncle and some cousins down in Texas. I thought I'd go spend some time with them before school starts."

"Cool, cool," he said, obviously preoccupied with something.

"I'll call you."

"OK, great, I'll talk to you soon."

It was amazing, really, that I could remove myself from the planet with three phone calls. I looked around for some food for breakfast. My mother was right, there wasn't anything to eat. I smiled when I thought that if I found some, I should eat it off the floor. That was apparently how it would be for me.

I went down to the deli at the corner and brought back a bagel and some coffee. Finishing it, I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I was really going to do it. I started to imagine my new life. Naked all the time, shaved smooth, cooking, cleaning, fucked four or five times a day, His cum always swimming around inside me, never cumming myself. Those were the parts I knew about. What else was there?

My gut stirred. Coffee always makes me have to go. I started for the bathroom, but before I had taken two steps, I felt the shit being expelled out of my asshole and into my jeans. As hard as I tried to control, it just slid out. My master's constant fucking really had changed my hole. It was the first time I had shit in a week without an enema, and I couldn't do it right. I guessed He was right to make me clean myself out.

I had a big, smelly mess in my pants. I kicked off my shoes and pulled off my shirt with one hand, then stepped in the tub, holding the mound of shit through the jeans with the other hand so it didn't fall onto the floor. I peeled off my jeans, scooped up as much shit as I could, and plopped it in the toilet. I flushed it away, then turned on the water in the shower, letting it rinse me off. Kicking the jeans to the corner of the tub, I showered myself clean. When I was done toweling off, I decided to practice staying naked for a while. I had definitely gotten used to it in the last week. I found a plastic bag in the kitchen and put the jeans and shirt in them. I would take the bag to the dumpster on the way out. I rinsed off the tub again, then opened the window. I guessed the smell would be gone before my mother was back in the afternoon.

I started gathering up papers, just like I had been told to do. I had my state ID, a birth certificate, a school transcript. I had never been outside the US, hardly ever outside the city, so I didn't have a passport. I didn't have any credit cards. I found my bank ID card hidden in the back of my closet. I kept it from my mother, who would gladly steal the few hundred bucks I had to fund a drinking binge. Was that all the records of me? I guessed it was. I put everything in a big envelope and set it on the bed, ready to be packed.

I grabbed my duffel bag, it was still packed from the trip I had just been on. Almost all of the clothes I had that fit and were decent were still in the bag. Some of them were dirty. I took everything out and started over. I set aside something to wear for today: some jeans, some socks, a polo shirt. I put in two pair of jeans, one was a little dirty, but they were my favorites. I added the only dress slacks that I had, a couple of button-down shirts, a few T-shirts. Underwear? Socks? Probably wouldn't need many: I put in a couple pair of each. A jacket? I didn't think it got too cold there. I grabbed a light coat from my closet and put it in, then threw in my favorite ball cap. I grabbed the sneakers from the bathroom floor, thought about it, and put them in. I would wear some work boots on the plane. Was that really it? I put the envelope of papers on top of the bag. I couldn't think of anything else.

I started purging: I put all the clothes that were dirty, didn't fit or were worn out in plastic bags, intending to take them to the dumpster, too. There was hardly anything left when I was done. I looked around the room. It was empty except for the old bed in the corner and some posters on the wall. A few books that I wouldn't need. A few tchotkes. Nothing I should take. In the bathroom, I brushed my teeth. I put my toothbrush and deodorant in small plastic bag, then put it on top of the duffel. I was pretty sure I wouldn't need anything else. I put my clothes on, laced up the boots and started dragging the bags down to the dumpster.

The rest of the day went quickly. The bank teller counted out the contents of my savings account: $1,523.45. I had worked odd jobs all through high school to save. I was going to use it to get to college, but that was all done for me now. I folded the bills and put them in my pocket. I spent $11 on lunch and returned home. I needed to get moving. It would take an hour and a half to get to the airport on the bus.

Later that night, I couldn't believe it when the plane landed and I was really about to meet Him. I had really done it. Soon, I would be His slave. I knew it was the right thing for me; I knew I loved Him completely, and I knew I would be safe and cared for. He was no longer only a beautiful, smart, powerful Man. He was now my Owner, my Master, my God. I was about to disappear, about to become an "it".