Tim's Last Orgasm 15: Gym Class

Tim didn't pay as much attention in class that afternoon as he might have. He had come up with an idea for today after school and was getting very excited about it. He had learned his lesson well the previous spring when his inattention had destroyed any hopes of being on the baseball team, but as much as he could without pissing off a teacher, Tim made his plans. Having no wheels would make it difficult, but he would manage. Terry had a bicycle, and he knew his brother wouldn't mind if he borrowed it. He didn't use it that much any more anyway.

Dear Mom and Dad, the note said that Tim left at home after school.
I have gone to the Y to do a little working out. I have been getting out of shape lately so I decided today that I would swim a few laps and maybe lift a few weights. I have taken Terry's bike, hope you don't mind Terry. I won't be late. Love you all,

Tim

Having written the note and left it displayed prominently on the refrigerator, Tim gathered his gym equipment bag and got Terry's ten speed out of the garage. Once he was sure he had everything, he pedaled as fast as he could to the nearest "EL" station, about three miles from his home. Once there he locked the bike securely to a utility pole, taking careful attention to also chain the front wheel in place, then he headed downtown.

Tim had been at the downtown Y before, so he was familiar with the drill. He knew they used to have a policy that allowed nude swimming during all male swim time, and he hoped the policy hadn't changed. The time allotment he was aiming for was 4 PM to 6 PM, and he knew he might be a few minutes late, but that was fine with him. He was pretty sure there would be no one there he knew, at least there never had been before; this time he was counting on it.

He arrived at the Y at 4:10, and went immediately to the front desk. "Your membership is for the Y fifteen miles from here," the clerk said. "Why didn't you just go there?"
"I was downtown anyway," Tim replied; then seeing about four young businessmen eyeing him, he added "Besides, this Y allows nude swimming and my home Y doesn't. I love to swim in the nude." He noticed with satisfaction that he had got the undivided attention of his four admirers. The attendant paid the comment no mind and signed him in, giving him a locker key and reminding him that losing the key would cost him ten dollars. "You'd better hurry," she said as he picked up his bag, "male free swim started at 4."
"Yes, Ma'am, I know," Tim replied. His heart was racing in his chest as if he'd already been working out for three hours. His unveiling was about to occur!

The locker room was deserted when Tim got there, so he simply stripped, stashing everything in his locker and then putting the rubber band holding his key around his wrist. He could not believe how turned on he was as he stood in that locker room naked. He heard someone coming so he quickly wrapped his towel around his waist and headed for the shower. Whoever was coming would get their show, but they would have to wait. He couldn't be sure without his glasses, but he thought he saw three of the four young businessmen enter the locker room as he exited. He was getting more aroused with every minute, and absolutely thrilled that there would be no visible evidence of his arousal. His phantom erection felt much the same as the real one always had, but of course there was nothing there.

He had a long hot shower, leisurely soaping himself and then rinsing off. Tim loved long showers, but it was more than that. Today he was hoping he would be "caught" here, naked, with his towel twenty feet away on a hook at the entrance. To his disappointment the three men who had entered the locker room had either gone to wherever they were going without a shower, or they were still dallying there. No matter, there would be lots of witnesses in the pool. But he knew the big bonus would be when swim time was over, when everyone converged on the showers at the same time.

When Tim walked onto the pool deck, towel again wrapped around his waist, he was not disappointed. There were at least twenty heads in the pool and another three or four scattered around the deck. He was so aroused now he knew, just knew, that he was going to cum before this evening was over. His heart pounded, his breath came in ragged gasps and his phantom hardon ached as he slowly, seductively removed his towel and dropped it ceremoniously on a vacant deck chair. He didn't notice anyone watching him, but he couldn't see that far with his naked eyes. He knew there had to be some of the boys and men in the pool watching his every move, and he made a mental note to get himself some contact lenses. Then without further ceremony Tim made a graceful dive and slipped into the water with hardly a ripple.

Tim had forgotten how marvelous it felt to swim naked, especially with no cock. He had come to this Y before many times, but always in the past it had been to check out other guys. He had been too modest to swim naked himself, even though there had never been a time in his life when he had anything to be ashamed of and he knew it. But for the next five or six laps, Tim completely forgot why he was here, his arousal on hold for the moment, and reveled in the wonderful sensation of freedom he was feeling. His balls had drawn up close to his body as they hit the cold water of the pool so they were not a problem, and of course his cock, which would ordinarily have been standing at full attention in this situation and embarrassing him to tears, was simply absent!

Tim was a good swimmer, and could easily have made the swim team had he wanted to, but he had always been afraid of getting hard when he witnessed all those swimmer bodies in the shower rooms. Now that wasn't a problem, but perhaps the absence of any penis at all was even more of a problem. That was what he was here to find out; but it would have to wait. Right now all that mattered was the absolute thrill of slipping through the water so effortlessly, it was almost as if he were born for this moment. He was sufficiently healed now that he didn't have to worry about over-exerting himself, but in spite of the speed with which he was devouring the laps, Tim didn't seem to feel the least exertion. He loved the water! He decided as he did a perfect tumble turn, then rolled over on his back to do a few laps of back stroke, that he would spend more time in the pool. Maybe, just maybe, he could get so comfortable with his own body and others' reaction to it that he would try out for the swim team next year in college.

When Tim swam on his back, he knew without any doubt that his cock, when he'd had one, would have been sticking straight up like a periscope if he'd ever tried it without a bathing suit. He had actually seen Carlos swimming on his back in Mexico, and Carlos' dick had indeed been reaching for the sky; and Carlos didn't seem to have near the problem with perpetual hardons that Tim used to have. Now as he did his fourth flip turn, Tim wondered if anyone had noticed the vacancy in his crotch. The suspense, the wondering, were all such a turnon! Then before he knew it, there was someone blowing a whistle on the deck to signal the end of free swim. Tim's heart accelerated to dangerous levels as he climbed out of the pool and headed for the shower. Summoning more courage than he realized he possessed, he merely threw his towel over his shoulder, leaving his vacant crotch fully exposed as he walked to the showers.

"You're a good swimmer," a friendly sounding voice said behind Tim as he hung his towel on a hook. He looked around to see a man, probably 35 or so and quite handsome, smiling at him.
"Thanks," Tim said. "I love to swim." He took a closer look. The man was about 5 feet eight or nine inches tall, slim and trim with about average body hair. He was hung like a freaking horse, Tim noticed, his flaccid cut penis had to have measured at least eight inches soft! Tim would have loved to get his hands on that penis, but that wasn't why he was here. The man had brown eyes and dark hair cut short and was, Tim thought, quite good looking but of no interest to Tim, except that he was very interested in the man's reaction to his body.
"Do you swim competitively?" the man asked as they walked together to the shower. Tim wasn't particularly interested in carrying on a conversation with this man, but he seemed quite interested in Tim.
"No," Tim replied. "I've been thinking of trying out for the school swim team, but so far..."
"So far you haven't got up the courage to appear in the locker room with no cock, right?" the man interrupted before Tim could finish his sentence.
"I got nothing to be ashamed of," Tim said defensively. So the man had noticed, but his reaction showed no signs of surprise, sympathy, or any other emotion. It was almost as if he had accepted it as natural.
"I should say not!" the man said emphatically. "I would say you have a lot to be very proud of!" Tim wondered what he meant, but decided not to answer, not wanting to carry the dialogue any further. There were at least ten men and teens in the showers now, and he was much more interested in their reactions top his missing penis, to say nothing of the delightful views they were displaying.

To Tim's astonishment and disappointment, no one else seemed to notice at all! He couldn't believe it! Here he was, standing in all his glory, or lack of it, in the shower facing outward for all to see, and everyone seemed so completely involved in their conversations with their buddies they hadn't even noticed that there was one in their midst who was different. All except one that is, and he wasn't about to give up. "My name is Todd," the man said as he lathered up under the shower head next to Tim's.
"Hi," Tim said, "I'm Tim." He wasn't at all sure he wanted to get to know this guy any better, but that big tool he had was causing Tim to think perhaps he should consider an rendezvous.
"Hi Tim. I'm sorry if this seems forward, but I've gotta ask. You don't seem the least embarrassed by your... err... condition. That seems rather odd for a boy your age. I make you to be 17 or 18, am I right?"
"You're right," Tim replied. He had purposely not specified which it was, knowing full well that Todd was trying discreetly to find out if Tim was of legal age. "I don't see why I should be embarrassed," he went on. "I am what I am, and if anyone has a problem with it, I don't see that as my problem. It's not as if I was trying to impress anyone. I'm just here to swim and work out." Wrong answer, Tim soon learned. It was also one of the biggest lies Tim had ever told in his life. In truth he was embarrassed almost to tears, but being among strangers made his first coming out a little easier, just as it had in Mexico.

"You're going to the gym?" Todd said with a breaking smile. "Do you need a spotter?"
"Well actually," Tim said, his inner voices screaming at him to give this guy the shake, and right now, "actually, I do. I don't do a lot of heavy working out, but..."
"Say no more," Todd said excitedly, "you've got your spotter!" Tim found himself wondering why the hell he'd agreed to such an arrangement. There was always someone in the weight room willing to do whatever spotting was required, and with the amount of weight lifting that he planned to do, there was no need whatsoever for him to team up with someone, which is what he had just done. The truth is, he realized, Todd was lusting for him big time, and it felt good! So Tim decided to play it out and see where it went since no one else seemed to be paying him any attention at all.

Tim tried his hand at bench pressing. He was wearing a pair of ordinary gym shorts and a sleeveless sweatshirt, and Todd was attired very much the same. Actually Todd could have worn his business suit because he did nothing at all but spot Tim and offer advice and encouragement. He knew his spotter was actually watching his body flex and ripple as much as he was spotting, but Tim didn't mind. If he were to admit the truth, Tim was doing his fair share of looking. Todd's ample equipment was making a fair bulge in his shorts, and Tim found himself wondering how much more his own prick would have grown had he not had it cut off. It felt good to be ogled, but it didn't take long for the young teen to get tired. By that time he was soaked with sweat, influenced no doubt by the hot shower he'd had before coming into the weight room and all the male scenery he'd noticed. He thought he noticed Todd several times trying to catch a sniff of what had to be some pretty serious body odor and that amused Tim. He had been ready to quit for the night, but the sight of what he thought was his new friend's arousal drove him to more activity. He chose the treadmill.

"You're in good shape," Todd puffed as he tried to keep up on the treadmill next to Tim's.
"Not because I work at it," Tim answered as he raised the incline a few notches. "I don't work out nearly as much as I should."
"It's your youth," Todd observed as his face reddened yet another degree. "Enjoy it, Tim. Soon it will be gone and you'll have to work like this every day just to keep from getting old and bald and fat."
"You're none of those things," Tim said honestly. He was beginning to like Todd, in a platonic way. Even though he felt very drawn by one part of this man, his attraction was limited to looking, touching, somehow claiming it for his own.
"I'm certainly older than you are," Todd returned. "How old did you say you were?"
"I didn't," Tim answered. "You did. You said I was 17 or 18 and I said you were right." This guy's good, Todd thought to himself. But I'm better!

"I've gotta stop," Todd said at last. "If I try any more to keep up your pace it's gonna kill me."
"It's a good way to go, if you've gotta go," Tim said. In truth he was exhausted too, but he wasn't about to show it. He was really interested now, wondering what Todd would try next. There was no doubt in his mind now that this guy wanted him, and even though Tim had no intention of going anywhere with him, he was definitely getting turned on by the man's efforts. His phantom hardon was so pronounced now he felt sure it must be visible. On the other hand, the thought of actually holding a REAL erection in his hand was certainly not unattractive.

When they got back to the showers, the room was deserted. Ok, Mr. Todd, this is it! Tim said to himself as he enjoyed yet another look at what he no longer had. It's now or never. Let's see what kinda line you got now to get me into the sack. "Can I ask you a personal question?" Todd said as they lathered up again.
"Sure," Tim replied. "I'm not promising I'll answer it though."
"Fair enough. I've got no right to ask, but we never learn anything if we don't ask questions. But I was wondering, if it's not too personal, how did you lose your... your..."
"My cock?" Tim said, still very much in teasing mode. "It got cut off. I thought that was pretty obvious." His desire was intensifying, but he knew he would make no advances of his own. If he were propositioned at this moment Tim would probably have accepted, but he was not going to make it easy.
"Yes, but how? Was it an accident? Or..."
"Uh-huh."
"What?"
"You said was it an accident or... and I said yes. It was an accident OR."
"So I guess you're not really anxious to talk about it?"
"You guess right."

Now was when Tim expected Todd to close for the kill. Now he would get propositioned. Now he would get to touch that beautiful thing he'd been watching, and Tim would finally stop his teasing. They had dried off and were now in the locker room getting dressed; but Todd was in a different row from Tim's. There were two teens in Tim's row, college students he guessed, but he had been too preoccupied to notice their reaction to him, if indeed there had been one. But there was sure one now! The two naked teens were laughing uproariously in the shower, their howls echoing throughout the building. But they weren't laughing at him, he told himself. Or were they? If not him, then what? Or who? Demoralized now, Tim finished dressing and headed to the lobby where he expected to get some further communication from Todd, but there was no one there; no one at all except for four ten year old's playing ping-pong. He thought of going back to the locker room, but that would be too obvious, wouldn't it?

So what had he proven?" Tim wondered as he rode the EL back to the east side. What had he accomplished? What had he learned? Well, he'd had a great swim and a good workout; he'd had a little fun at Todd's expense, but he had blown a chance to handle the thing he'd wanted to touch more than anything in the world right now; and then, he'd been humiliated! And he realized with horror as he unlocked Terry's bike that he was even more nervous about tomorrow than before!

By the time Tim got home and put Terry's bike away it was after 11, and he knew everyone would be in bed. He hadn't meant to stay out this late, but his parents knew this would happen because it always did when he went to the gym. Why on earth he insisted on going ‘way downtown when there was a very nice Y not too far from home was a mystery to them, but one they had long since accepted. When Tim climbed the stairs to his room, he was surprised to see a dim bluish light coming from under his door.

"Terry," Tim scolded, "what on earth are you doing? Do you realize it's almost midnight?"
"Yeah, I know," Terry answered without looking away from the computer screen. "I was waiting up for you. I wanted to sleep with you again tonight, if it's all right." Tim noticed for the first time that Terry was naked, and as usual these days was sporting a very large anxious looking erection. It wasn't the huge eight incher that Todd had displayed, but it was certainly more beautiful.
"Ok by me," Tim said. "But the keyword here is SLEEP! It's late, Ter, and I've got a big day tomorrow and I'm tired! So what're you doin' on the computer?"
"I been checking out the eunuch site you go to all the time," Terry said as he watched his brother undress. Tim's blood turned to ice.
"How'd you know about that?" Tim demanded.
"Easy," Terry smiled. "You think you're the only one in this house that knows his way around the Internet? You don't always remember to clear your cache, you know."

Tim felt violated, betrayed, and no small amount of panic. What if his parents had done the same? And what had Terry seen exactly? Most important, what would he do with the information he'd got? "Ya don't have to worry, Tim," Terry said as if reading his mind, "I been checking your cache for a long time and clearing it for you, just in case. But for the last week or so I wanted to see the eunuch site. I think I understand a lot better now why you did it. I mean, it wasn't cause you hated your dick or anything like that, was it Tim?"
"No, Ter, it wasn't," Tim answered. "I loved my dick and I miss it. And Terry, thanks for clearing my cache for me. I guess I'm gettin' careless. Now come on to bed. It's late!"
"Just a sec," Terry said as he clicked on another window. "I'm tryin' to find information on that clinic you went to in Cancun."
"It's not there," Tim replied. "I didn't get the information off the Eunuch site. What information do you want, and why?"
"I'm gonna get my dick cut off too," Terry announced as nonchalantly as if he'd just said he was going to wear clean underwear in the morning.

"No you're not either!" Tim said as he wrestled the mouse out of his brother's hand, then shut down the site and the computer.
"Hey!" Terry protested. "I was reading!"
"You're reading too much, Terry. You're thinking too much! You say things like you just said, an' it scares the crap out of me. Come on, let's get to bed!"
"I see," Terry said as he pulled on his boxers and slid into the bed. "It's ok for you to go around chopping off body parts, but let someone else try it, an' they're crazy."
"It's not that simple, Terry. Believe me, it's not easy. I wouldn't have done it at all if I didn't feel that I had to."
"But... but you said you like it! An' I do too. I think it's really cool how smooth you are down there. I wanna be smooth like that too. An' besides, you're treating me like a little kid again."
"That's ‘cause you're acting like a little kid. I thought about that surgery for years, Terry! I read about it, discussed it with all sorts of people, studied about results, researched it. Now you come along and in just a few weeks you decide you're gonna do it. Think about it for another year or two, then we'll talk."
"But I wanna have it done now!"
"Minimum age at Sanchez clinic is 14, Terry. I couldn't help you right now even if you talked me into it. So think about it for a year, and I promise I'll at least talk to you about it. Now go to sleep!"
"You won't even talk to me about it?"
"Not tonight I won't. G'nite, Terry."

Tim felt guilty for putting his brother down like that. He felt even more guilty for what he wanted to do right now. It took every ounce of will power (WON'T power??) to keep from reaching into his brother's underpants right now and fondling what he knew was there. He already knew Terry would allow it, but it wasn't right... was it? But the thoughts of Terry losing that beautiful thing frightened the life out of Tim.

* * *Tim did not have a good morning. He was still dog tired when he got up, and Terry spent a lot longer in the shower than he should have. It didn't help because Tim knew precisely what Terry was doing in there so long. He knew because he had snuck into the bathroom and watched! To make matters worse it seemed that all his teachers were calling on him to answer questions that he couldn't answer. He was constantly dropping pencils and notebooks; in fact he had such a bad case of dropsy that Mrs. Mason, his English teacher, suggested he might want to consider tying a string around his pencil and then tying it to his wrist, which of course had the entire class laughing. Naturally none of these incidents did anything for his mood.

At lunch he sat gloomily with Laura, who had chosen this particular day to be cheery and bubbly, bringing up one subject then another, none of which Tim wanted to discuss. And to make matters even worse, she didn't even seem to notice what a horrid mood he was in. He hated it when girls did that! The harder he tried to be grumpy and angry, the more they seemed not to notice! Then, finally, the bell rang to signal the end of lunch and Tim was headed for the gym.

"Mr. Chandler, may I see you a minute before you dress?" Coach Masterson said as Tim walked by his office.
"Yes, sir," Tim replied as he cringed. He had no idea what the coach wanted, but he knew it had to be bad if there was to be a conference before gym class. The coach was usually in the gym, getting students to run around or otherwise warm up as soon as they came from the locker room. Tim entered the tiny office nervously, and Coach Masterson closed the door behind them.

"I'll get right to the point," the coach said as they both sat down. "I just wanted you to know that I'm fully aware of your... err... condition," the coach said with an expression that said he had uncovered some deep dark secret.
"Condition?" Tim asked, having no idea what the coach was talking about.
"I know all about it, Tim," the coach said. "I understand that it's been very traumatic for you and you're reluctant to talk about it, but I want you to know that it's all right. It's not the end of the world, you know. Thank God you still have your health and your hormones, and at your age that's what's most important. I know you've been avoiding the showers, and now I know why. If you're still uncomfortable undressing in front of the other boys, I'll find a way to allow you to shower alone. We're going to be starting wrestling today and you're going to work up too much of a sweat to go without a shower, but I'm anxious to make it as comfortable for you as I can. You've suffered far too much already."

"Suffered, sir?" Tim said. Obviously Larry had got to the coach as well, but what the holy hell had he told him? The coach was talking as if Tim had won a victory over death itself!
"I always knew you were a good boy," the coach said, making Tim feel about nine years old. "I just had no idea how much courage you had. And even while you were fighting with all the issues and decisions, fighting for your very life really, I understand you've been doing a very involved research paper. I've gotta tell you, Tim, you're one gutsy young man. I am truly impressed!"
"Thank you, sir," Tim said. He was going to fucking kill Larry when he got him on that wrestling mat! "But I don't think you understand..."
"I don't have to understand, son," the coach said. "It's really none of my business. I know as much as I need to know. I'm just so happy for you and your family that you've beaten this thing. My job now is to make things as easy for you as I can. All I need to know is, do you have any pain now?"
"No, sir."
"Any restrictions, like exertion or activity?"
"No, sir."
"You don't feel you need to sit out gym for another month or two? I can arrange it, you know."
"No, sir. Really, I'm fine!"
"And the showers?"
"I think I'm ready to shower with the others," Tim said.
"Once again I've got to hand it to you, Tim, you've got guts!"
"I've got balls too," Tim said as he rose from his chair and left the office. The coach stood as he left, a very quizzical expression on his face.

Tim walked tentatively into the locker room and immediately ignored everyone there looking for Larry. He found him, just slipping into his jockstrap. "Hey, Tim," he called cheerfully, "I saved a locker for you right beside mine."
"We gotta talk, Larry!" Tim said as he approached. For the first time in quite a while, he didn't notice a single teen cock even though he was surrounded by them. He grabbed Larry's arm and led him, still clad only in his jockstrap, to a remote corner of the locker room and pushed him against the wall. "What the fuck are you doing. Larry?" he demanded as he held his friend in the corner.
"Doing?" Larry said, a wide grin still pasted on his face. "I dunno what you mean, Tim. What do you mean, what am I doing?"
"You know very fucking well what I mean," Tim said angrily. "What the hell have you been telling everybody? You've even got Masterson in on it, whatever the fuck IT is! Just exactly what have you been telling everyone?" At least a dozen boys stopped dressing and regarded the scene in the corner. Tim would never know it, but his display of anger had a profound effect on all the witnesses.
"Just the truth," Larry said, his smile never leaving his face. His answer sent Tim into a rage.

"The truth?" Tim screamed. "THE TRUTH? How the hell can you say that, Larry? You had my brother scared outta his fuckin' mind! He thought I was dying! And you stand there with that shit eating grin on your face and tell me all you told anyone was the truth? Why the hell did you feel the need to say anything at all? What the hell is wrong with you, Larry?"
"I told ya before, I was just trying to help you. Don't you remember Winston Churchill?"
"What the fuck does Winston Churchill have to do with me? Or any of this? Jeez, Larry, I'm beginning to think you've lost all your marbles!"
"Think about it, Tim," Larry said. "What was one of Churchill's famous sayings?"
"Larry, I am really concerned about your sanity. Winston Churchill was dead before we were born! I doubt that anything he ever said has any relevance to your death, which may very well happen real soon." Tim was talking in a low, controlled, even tone now. It was a tone of voice that sent a chill down Larry's spine. Tim was on the verge of committing murder. The rest of the boys in the locker room hurried to finish dressing and hustled their pretty butts into the gym.
"Winston Churchill said, ‘The best defense is a good offense,' Larry said. "Think about it, Tim!"

"In the first place, I don't think it was Winston Churchill that said that," Tim said in the same even, threatening tone. "In the second place, I wasn't aware that we were in a war. But we might be real soon!"
"Tim, all I did was to tell everyone what they were gonna find out today anyway. And I told them the absolute truth. I said that you had a condition and the only way it could be cured was to have surgery, so that's what you did. Now, did I lie?"
"Well, no. But..."
"People draw conclusions when you tell them something, Tim! Plant a seed and it will grow. I think you're gonna have a very pleasant time in gym today, my friend, and in the shower room after. So give it a try. If I'm wrong, you can kill me after school."
"But coach Masterson..."
"I told him the exact same thing. You had a condition, you got it fixed and you really don't like to talk about it. But I suggest if you don't get into your gym clothes pretty soon and let me get into mine, we're both gonna have a condition known as detention!"

"Damn you, Larry," Tim complained as he got dressed. "If you had only told me what you were up to!"
"But you don't like to talk about it, remember? And if you had known, would you have let me do it?"
"You crazy idiot!"

Tim noticed more than a few of his classmates checking him out very carefully as he removed his boxers, but no one said anything and no one made it obvious that he was watching. Tim did learn an important lesson from Larry, though. As Larry told him later, "The best way to keep a secret is to tell it all over town!" That was precisely what Larry had done with Tim's secret, and it had worked like a charm. Larry had also told the secret in such a way that no one outside their class seemed to know anything about it, and that astonished Tim.

The shower after gym class was no less astonishing to Tim. All of the boys looked; most said nothing; a few patted him on the back and told him he had a lot of guts. He heard a couple of snickers and giggles, noticed two boys in his class whispering to each other. But the day Tim had been fearing for so long, the day that would probably have been a disaster had Larry not gone on the offensive, turned out the be one of the best in Tim's life. That is until he got home.

***********

"Have you heard from Tim?" Dr. Smith asked Carlos three days after their argument.
"Yeah, Dad, I got a note from him last night. I think he's feeling a lot better. He went swimming nude in a public pool, then the next day he got up the courage to shower with his class at school. I think he's starting to get on top of this thing."
"You wouldn't be just saying that to keep me at bay, would you son?"
"No, Dad, I wouldn't and you know it. I care just as much about Tim as you do, and whether you're ready to admit it or not, I don't think you made a mistake by operating on him. He knew it wasn't gonna be easy, but..."
"Just the same, I'm thinking seriously of shutting down that part of the practice, at least for minors. It would make my life a lot easier if I didn't always having to worry about those damned lobby groups."
"Please don't," Carlos begged. "Please don't shut down! Without clinics like yours, people like Tim could be forced to do very stupid things."

"Have you mentioned anything to Tim about this?" the doctor asked.
"No, Dad. I haven't and I won't. But if you shut down, I'm just gonna get my medical license and start up again. I still believe in what you're doing, even if you don't.

Dr. Smith lay awake after his son was in bed. His wife had long since gone to sleep but the doctor couldn't sleep. He wasn't proud of what he had done, but he was still inclined to believe it was necessary. He had called his colleague, Dr. Emory, in Chicago and asked a favor. After he had explained the whole situation, Dr. Emory agreed that castration might very well be the best for the young teen who had shown signs of deep depression. Dr. Smith had explained that the patient would probably not submit willingly, to which Dr. Emory had replied that that would definitely complicate things. "Just leave it with me," he had said to his Mexican friend. "I'm not promising anything, but let me see what I can come up with."

There were a lot of doctors in the United States who were sympathetic to those like Tim, like so many who for various reasons wanted, needed, some form of genital modification. There were the obvious: the transgenders. For these people there were legal and acceptable options, even if they were expensive and time consuming. But there were so many more that many physicians would have gladly accommodated had it not been for the threat of law suits, insurance complications, and general social unacceptance. Dr. Emory was one of those physicians who sympathized with what Dr. Smith was doing; but he also realized that there were risks involved. Mistakes could easily be made, and the risk of such mistakes was increased greatly when adequate adequate counselling had not been provided. It was obvious that Dr. Smith had made such a mistake with the teenager from Chicago, and Dr. Emory knew there was only one way to correct this mistake: castration.

Next: XVI A Letter From Carlos