Matthew didn’t suppose he had ever let Lukas play in his garden, but when he woke the following morning, he bit his bottom lip and smiled, remembering what he had done.

Lukas’ nuts were crushed now.

He turned on his side, put his fists between his knees, and stared at the bright edge of sunlight in the centre of his curtains.

He had jammed that vice so tight, and had used that block of wood. He hadn’t thought of that before, but that had been perfect, stuffing Lukas’ balls right down in there and then turning the vice slowly, and hearing the wood crack, like it was the sound of Lukas’ balls cracking.

Man, that had been so good.

He put his hand between his own legs and felt his balls gently, heavy and big in their sack now, while Lukas’ were fucked. He tugged himself, feeling them gently, and then he pulled a pair of pyjama pants on and went downstairs to breakfast.

His mother and father were having an argument. They were in the study, but the door was open.

In a minute or two his father came out into the kitchen where Matthew was sitting at the table eating cereal.

‘You want to put a shirt on when you come downstairs?’ his father said. He sliced himself bread and started making toast, clattering the knife onto the plate after he had pulled it out of the drawer.

‘Don’t I get an answer?’ he said, turning around to look at Matthew.

‘What am I supposed to say?’

‘Yes, Dad. Sorry, Dad. You’re half naked, you know? I can see your penis.’

Matthew choked on the cereal and pulled his pyjama pants together with one hand. His cock had been sitting there, under a wide, gaping hole. And it was so fucking big, as floppy as it could get after he had pulled it.

Matthew knew he had turned red.

He tried to finish his cereal quickly but his father sat down at the table with his toast.

‘And where were you till all hours of the morning?’

‘At Lukas’,’ Matthew said, with a mouthful of milk and cereal.

His father made a face.

‘Is he casting your body in plaster again?’

Matthew swallowed and glared at him.

‘There’s something wrong with that boy, you know? I saw him yesterday. He’s unstable. On drugs or something. Any little thing’ll push him over the edge.’

Matthew nodded, looking at his father closely.

‘And so you’re good friends again now?’ his father said.

‘Yeah. We’re gay, Dad. Is that the answer you want?’

‘What’s wrong with your eyes?’

‘What? Nothing,’ Matthew said, getting up from the table.

His cock was starting to lengthen and he knew this. He wasn’t thinking about anything, but it was happening. In a moment it’d be poking out of the front of his pyjamas, and his father would see it. He rinsed his bowl and put it in the dishwasher, knowing as he did so that he had to hurry. He ran upstairs, his cock flopping out of the pyjama pants, half-erect, by the time he got to the top of them.

He threw himself up onto the landing just as his sister came out of her room. She stopped, flinched, and screamed, staring at it like it was a monster.

He pulled the pyjamas over it as best he could and walked into his room, locking the door behind him. And then he lent back on the door, while he listened to his sister trailing down the stairs, ‘Mum! Mum!’

He couldn’t do that anymore, he told himself. He couldn’t walk around without his cock firmly held down in something. He didn’t have any control over it anymore. She had touched it yesterday, though she had been too young to know what she was touching. Seeing it was a different matter.

Matthew had already taken two of the tablets, but he decided to take a third. They weren’t really as good, now, as they had been, and he supposed he needed more of them. Yesterday, he had taken five, and he had felt unreal, even if he hadn’t come when he was crushing Lukas’ nuts. But he had given four tablets to Lukas as well, which meant that he had wasted nine of the tablets in one day.

It wasn’t really a waste, he said to himself, as he pushed himself off the door, and walked across the room, his erection poking out of his pyjamas. Considering what had happened, that had hardly been a waste.

It had keyed Lukas up, and he probably wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much as he had without them.

Matthew didn’t suppose he could go into Lukas’ body now. It had felt bad enough when Lukas’ balls had been hit with that hammer. He didn’t want to know what it felt like the morning after they’d been crushed.

Still, though, he wanted to go over and see Lukas. Lukas wanted Matthew to fuck him. And he wanted to suck Matthew’s cock.

He’d probably want to do one or the other today.

And Matthew could feel his sack.

Matthew pulled himself, imagining what it would feel like to have Lukas’ lips around his cock while he felt Lukas’ mushed up balls. When he had finished, he phoned Lukas, but Lukas didn’t answer.

He had a shower, pulled himself in the shower, and then, when he had dried himself, and was standing naked in his room, with his third erection of the day, he phoned Lukas again.

Still no answer.

Matthew frowned, and put on a pair of runners. He pulled a red baseball cap onto his head, and stood in front of the mirror, naked except for the runners and the baseball cap. He pulled himself, looking at his reflection, stepped forward, and came onto the mirror.

He stood back again and looked. He was beautiful.

He sat on his bed, staring at the white ooze hanging out of the top of his cock, and phoned Lukas again.

Nothing.

Matthew really wanted to pull himself while he was talking to Lukas on the phone.

He texted him, ‘r u ok?’

And then he wiped the mirror and got dressed properly, putting on a pair of tight elastic undershorts, and thinking that he would hear his phone beep any minute. But there was nothing.

Was Lukas still in bed? It was almost twelve o’clock. He wouldn’t sleep this late.

Matthew frowned and turned the strobe on. He drew his curtains and pulled the glasses out.

And then the strobe light blew.

‘Fuck!’ Matthew said, saying it so loud that the whole house might have heard him. He bit his bottom lip.

He tossed the glasses onto his bed and went downstairs.

‘Dad?’ he said, knocking on the door of his father’s study.

‘What Matthew?’

‘Can I borrow the car?’

‘What do you want it for?’

‘I thought I’d go over to Lukas’’

‘Ask your mother. I need my car. I’m going to see Grandma this afternoon. I don’t suppose you want to come?’

Matthew really should. Even if it meant driving all the way to Baker with his father.

‘When are you going?’

‘In an hour or so.’

‘Can you wait till two, and I’ll go with you, if I’m back.’

His father agreed, and Matthew supposed he would have to do his best to be back by two. There wasn’t any certainty about his inheritance. His grandmother could change her mind at any time.

Matthew frowned, walking up the hall to find his mother. He had always liked going to his grandmama’s house, but he didn’t feel like it now.

‘Mum.’

‘What, Matthew?’

She had been crying, and she was in her room, lying on her bed.

‘Can I borrow your car?’

She let him, though he had to stay with her for five or ten minutes, listening to all the details of their argument this morning, and giving his opinion on whether his mother should go into a clinic again.

By the time he got to Lukas’ his cock was hard again, and it was folded, trapped in the tight undershorts, and in the tight high-waisted jeans that were just too small for him, he said to himself, as he took off from the lights over the bridge at St. John’s Wood. It wasn’t possible for him to do anything about his cock while he was sitting like this, in the car, everything was pressed down and hemmed in, and his balls were hurting. He really had to stop wearing these jeans. He had had them since he was fifteen. And they showed his ankles.

He parked the car in Lukas’ drive and got out, trying to grip the jeans at the thighs, and pull them down. It would probably be better to leave his cock as it was though, folded down and scrunched up, even if it was bursting to get out. He would probably have to see McCady.

She opened the door to him.

‘Is Lukas here?’

‘Ach! The wee bairn’s up in bed. He’s feeling poorly.’

‘Can I go up and see him?’ Matthew said, hearing his voice strained from all the pressure in his jeans. His eyes were watering.

She looked at him closely, let him into the house, and closed the door behind him. And then she led the way upstairs, along the gallery, and to the door that led into Lukas’ wing of the house. She picked her bunch of keys off her waist, and unlocked it. She opened it for him, and after he had stepped through, she locked it behind him.

A strange proceeding, Matthew thought, to let this servant, on her own authority, allow someone into the house, and into a private part of it, without asking any sort of permission.

When the door had been locked behind him, and he figured she’d left, Matthew drew the bolt.

He walked down the hallway on tip-toes, supposing Lukas wasn’t expecting him, and could be doing anything. The rooms were utterly silent. He paused at the sitting room door, and knocked on it. Lukas would hear him, if he was in his bedroom.

‘You can come in, Audrey,’ he heard Lukas call.

‘It’s not her,’ Matthew said, appearing in Lukas’ doorway.

Lukas was in his bed, and as he saw Matthew, he jerked his head back, as though he was frightened. He stared at Matthew as though he was something he’d never seen before.

He was sitting. Half-sitting in the bed. He had a whole lot of pillows propped up behind him, and his knees drawn up under the covers. His shoulders were bare. Matthew could see his nipples, and he had his arms on top of the bedspread, his fingers linked loosely together on his stomach. He wasn’t doing anything.

Matthew noticed the bunny pyjamas on the carpet and supposed Lukas was naked under the covers.

‘How are you feeling?’ he said, coming into the room.

‘I’m sick.’

‘Yeah?’

‘I’m feeling really sick in the stomach.’

‘I don’t suppose it feels too good.’

Lukas swallowed.

Matthew sat down on the bed. His cock was still folded in his jeans, hard, and it hurt his balls to be sitting down when the jeans were so tight.

‘I hate that feeling. Getting hurt in the balls.’

‘I’m feeling really sick in the guts.’

‘What about your balls?’

Lukas passed a hand over his forehead. He seemed to shudder, and then he said,

‘Yeah. They hurt pretty bad.’

‘They were pretty badly crushed.’

Lukas looked at him deeply.

‘Do you think they’ll be okay?’

‘What?’ Matthew tried to stop it, but he knew his mouth had opened up into a smile as he said the word.

Lukas looked down at his hands, and started plucking at the fabric of the coverlet.

‘They’re not going to be okay, Lukas. You let me crush them in a vice.’

‘I thought maybe it wasn’t that bad.’

He looked up at Matthew, caught his eye, and turned his head down quickly, focussing on his hands, and he went back to plucking at the coverlet.

‘Have you felt them?’

Lukas shook his head and sighed.

‘Well didn’t you feel them burst?’

He gave Matthew a weak shrug of his shoulders.

‘It sounded like you did.’

‘I don’t know if they really got burst.’ He didn’t look at Matthew.

Matthew turned away and leaned forward, so that Lukas couldn’t see his face. In a moment or two, he turned back again.

‘I don’t think they’re going to be okay.’

‘They might be,’ he said, as his voice cracked. Tears started to drip out of his eyes.

Matthew watched him cry, the way he did, with no sound, just blinking teardrops out of his eyes.

‘Don’t you think so?’ Lukas said, looking up at him. His bottom lip started to wobble.

Matthew shook his head, and Lukas turned his head down again. He started to cry properly, his chest jolting.

Matthew pushed his runners off with his toes and got up onto the bed, half-sitting, next to Lukas, and feeling his jeans slide up into his groin as he took Lukas into his arms.

‘Hey,’ he said. ‘It’s not that bad.’

Lukas said nothing.

He jiggled him a bit.

‘Maybe they are okay.’

‘Do you think?’

‘Maybe.’

He waited a moment, and then said,

‘Do you want me to feel them?’

Lukas shook his head underneath Matthew’s chin.

‘You’re not going to know – until you see.’

Lukas said nothing.

‘Come on.’

Lukas sniffled, and pulled himself away, granting Matthew permission.

Matthew sat on the edge of the bed again, and put one hand under the covers. He slid his hand down the back of Lukas’ thigh, his fingers on Lukas’ inner thigh, slid his hand down, slid it up to Lukas’ knees again, and slid it down once more, feeling Lukas’ thighs collapse in together.

‘I’m going to have to squeeze,’ he said. ‘I’m not going to be able to tell unless I squeeze them.’

Lukas nodded.

‘Are you ready?’

‘I’ve got a stiff now.’

Matthew nodded, and slid his hand down the inside of Lukas’ thigh again. He found Lukas’ sack, touched it with the tip of his fingers, and watched Lukas draw in a sharp breath. He grabbed his sack, and squeezed as hard as he could, rolling the mush between his fingers and the palm of his hand.

Lukas let off a sound as intense as a kettle boiling, a long, drawn out, ‘Ooooooooooo,’ that sounded like surprise, mainly, as though he had never been that surprised, though it was also mixed with pleasure and pain. His perineum contracted rhythmically under Matthew’s hand. He was coming, and Matthew came in his pants. He held on, squeezing, as he felt the come throbbing out of his cock in his jeans, listening to Lukas make his “oo” sound, not moving, paralysed apparently, though the tone of it had changed slightly now that he had come, becoming more pleasure than pain.

‘Did that feel good?’ Matthew said.

Lukas had his eyes closed, and he nodded, a smile on his face.

‘Can I get in the bed with you?’

Lukas opened his eyes.

‘Can I take my clothes off?’

Lukas nodded.

‘Are they okay?’ Lukas said, as Matthew was pulling his jeans off.

‘They might be,’ Matthew said, turning around and pulling his undershorts down. His cock flopped out of them.

Lukas stared at it.

‘I can’t really tell.’

Matthew peeled his T-shirt off, his socks off, and got into the bed.

‘Man, you should have heard it last night when you blew your load. It sounded like the best orgasm you’d ever had.’

‘It did feel pretty good.’

‘You should have seen your cock. It was bubbling like a fountain. You came about four or five times in a row.’

‘You reckon?’

Matthew nodded.

‘I bet it hurt,’ he said.

‘Fuck, yeah.’

Lukas stopped talking and reached his hand up. He put it under the covers and felt between his legs. He frowned a little, shuffled his body a little, and then his face grew confused.

‘There’s nothing there,’ he said, turning to Matthew, still feeling. ‘It’s all slushy.’

‘Yeah, well, it’s like I said. They’re fucked.’