BOOGER RED & COWBOY IV~

CHAPTER IV~

Leon became my rock. We continued to work side by side. I opened to him and would pour my heart out to him. He would listen by the hour. Wouldn’t say much but I knew he was enjoying my new found strength to confide in him and share with him.

I didn’t just move into Leon’s world. I still kept my small apartment over the garage and would wait for him to invite me to his bed. Damn, he was a good fuck! When he got all that cock inside me, it was wonderful. It was medicinal. Sure chased the screaming green meanies away.

I got invited quite often to his bed. Never passed up a chance to be with that big mean looking Cowboy. For someone as hard and mean looking as Leon, he could make the sweetest love and give me some the best loving fucking’s of my young life.

Leon didn’t look upon fucking as just getting his rocks off. He didn’t have much to say but when he got inside me he poured everything his mouth couldn’t say into his fucking. When he finished you were thoroughly convinced that he loved and appreciated you for sharing your body with him. Hell, he didn’t have to utter those precious three little words! You had his love on deposit further in your gut than any other Man could put it!

As big as he was my ass felt cheated unless I managed to take him all. He always made sure I did! He knew my hunger! He felt my needs. He gave me what I couldn’t ask for!

Master Sam and his two Buddies took a run somewhere and later returned with the two Giant Men that had visited with Big Red at my home in Mason. Big Jim and Master Beryl. They were to stay a couple of weeks with Master Walker and Xander. They had one more Man with them I hadn’t met before but whom I loved from the moment I met him. His name was Master Jeb.

He was one of the finest looking older Men that I had seen in my life. He had penetrating deep blue eyes and the kindest face. He wasn’t as big as the two Giants but he wasn’t a small Man. Anywhere!

Riding Buddy with him was a fine looking Man that made my dick drool. He was a tiny little Man with a body by God! His name was Wes Johnson.

Come to find out he was Master Johnson’s adopted Son and nephew to one of the Giants, Big Jim Johnson. He had gotten back from Nam about the same time I did and wanted to meet me. I didn’t know if I could talk to anybody but Leon about what I went through. Leon never commented! He would just listen.

Once in a while he would pull me in his arms and quietly tell me, “That’s enough for a while! Give it a rest and pick up there later!” He was right. I was trying to get too much out at once. It was like the flood gates had opened and poor Leon was deluged by the flow. He acted like a gate keeper and would later start me where I’d left off with a question.

I knew he was letting me know he could listen for another spell. However, my flood waters seemed to be subsiding as I settled into a steady life and work at the ranch. I agreed to be put on the payroll and began to work twice as hard. Leon would take a pitch fork out of my hands and order me to the river. We spent some wonderful afternoons in the Dinosaur tracks of the river. Huge foot prints you could step in.

Master Johnson and Xander couldn’t have been more loving and I shared more with them. They couldn’t believe some of the stories I told them. Most times when you did open up to people and told them the truth they’d look at you like you were lying to them. We weren’t!

Wes hadn’t opened up to his Dad, his Uncle or Master Jeb about what went on over there. Everyone had this wonder as to why the guys that returned wouldn’t talk about it! Couldn’t get it out! Would fold up like a telescope to run the other way rather than have to relive the horror and frustration by telling anyone what they went through!

We didn’t win! We left in defeat! Even before the final pullout in 73 every Man that came home felt defeated! They wouldn’t let us win!! It was the worst run, dirty little war the U.S. was ever involved in. Their policies cost me three of the most beautiful Men I could ever hope to love!

The moment I met Wes there was an understanding that passed between us and I knew I had to have him. I had always been pretty passive when it came to sex but not because I didn’t want to take the lead. The Men I had gone with just expected me to get fucked. Wes and I both knew that he was to become my catcher! I needed to unload my Cowboy cock into his tight little body! Front and rear!

I didn’t look on it as Feminizing for a minute. It was Man sex as my Uncle had taught me. He had never taught me that I was to become his ‘Woman’ substitute. I was his Cowboy that caught his seed in my ass, drank his piss and sucked that sweet, tart, white, thick, ropey, Cowboy come from his big beautiful dick.

When Buck came along I wanted to please him anyway I could. He offered to catch for me and I turned him down. I needed to be his Cowboy like I was to my Uncle. Besides, Buck was a natural Stallion that only needed to find his grazing pasture. His stall was in my ass! I needed only to catch for him. Hell, he never once failed to get me off while he was getting his. We had it down to an Art form! A science!

Once in a great while Buck would suck me off and then rave about how great I tasted and could we bottle it for him? He was my love. I have never fully gotten over him, even today, thirty years later! I still have an old Western Shirt of his that was never washed that is tattered and yellowed from age.

His Dad was going to give away a pair of his old brown western work boots and I asked him if I could have them. They were two sizes too large for me but I’ve kept them with me for years. I can lay in bed and smell him in that old shirt, pull on that old pair of his boots with no socks that my feet swim around in, imagine him fucking me, starting his climb up the hill rooting deep within my ass with his big, thick, sweet dick!

Me, urging him on, telling him to ride his Horse harder, meaner, get us both there on time, not to stop nor slow down, faster, faster,....Oh God, Buck, go for it! I know I can’t fill his Big Boots but my feet feel at home inside them and I begin to climb that hill with him. Then for just a few minutes I know he’s with me, on top of me, loving me, caring for me, giving me that good hot Cowboy fucking he knows I need.

“Take us home, Cowboy!” I whisper to him as I once again feel him emptying himself deep within me! Then I shoot over my head to splat on the head board every time! I lay there, spent, and cry once more for what might have been, what should have been, morn for my empty hole, my empty arms and my heart that had it’s soul ripped out!

Still I’m grateful for his old shirt and boots that has brought him back to me so many times. I know, God will let us be together again someday .....on down the road! God doesn’t care if two men love each other! It’s only the little Men who can’t understand the bigger picture of Love!

I was introduced to Wes and took his hand to shake it. I looked into his eyes. Wes looked into mine. We saw! We knew! We were in each other’s arms crying and for once I was the comforter!

“There, there, Darlin’! It’s gonna’ be alright! We got through it Sweetheart! It cost us but we’re here! You and me! Let it go! Feel my love. Share with me. Be with me!”

Wes melted into my Cowboy lovin’ arms. Just what I wanted and needed for him to do. We don’t really start to heal until we can reach out to someone else that’s hurting and say, “Here! Take my hand! I may not know how but together, somehow, today perhaps, we’ll find a way! God will help us!”

I think everyone that witnessed our meeting was a bit taken a’ back. They didn’t expect us to just walk away with my arm around Wes. I took him to my favorite spot on the river to point out the Dinosaur tracks to him and just be close to him. We sat under the shade of a huge Cypress tree and I held him as his head rested against my chest.

“They don’t know, do they Cowboy?”
“They can’t Sweetheart!”
“Would you love me, Cowboy?”
“I do! I will! We’ll be fine!”
“I ain’t asking for forever, Billy!”
“I know, Sweetheart! I know! I understand!” He turned his head to mine and we kissed.

Not a passionate kiss of lovers but a gentle kiss of Brothers that needed to share the warmth of each others bodies and souls. We needed to recreate within us our need to go on living. I needed to spill my life into him and he needed to receive me. For it is only in giving of ourselves that more grows to replace that which is given.

Give blood, your body works hard to replace it within twenty four hours. So it is with your psyche! Give of yourself and your psyche works to make you stronger! Replaces that which was given and then some! Wes was an empty vessel that needed filling. He deeply needed love and understanding. Wes needed someone to show him attention. To let him know he was worthy to receive. He had been running on empty for sometime!

I was fortunate to have Leon, Master Walker, Xander and my Family at home to care for me. Then too, I was in steady communication with Dan Yates whom I had come to love almost as much as my Dad. He wrote me the most poignant letters and I replied with an openness that I had never experienced in writing to any one before. We were becoming close. He was coming to visit at the Johnson Ranch in July for a week and we would be together. I was looking forward to it!

While Wes was visiting I had plenty of opportunity to get to know the two Giants and Master Jeb better. Wes was living with Big Jim and Master Jeb. They had rescued him from a Mexican Brothel and were nursing him back to health. I think I was the only person Wes ever told the story to about how he ended up in that Whore House.

I wont write about it because the party involved might not live too long if he were found out. Suffice to say it was no one closely associated with the Mc Innis Clan! Wes was considering entering slave training under Master Jeb and Big Jim. He wanted desperately to become the slave to a good Master. I almost thought about applying for the position myself. I would have loved to become his Master and taken care of him.

I sensed that Wes needed more than a good ole Cowboy for a Master. He needed some strict, woodshed discipline, no nonsense kind of Owner. After getting to know Master Jeb I felt secure he had just the Man in mind for Wes.

Wes wasn’t a bad Man that needed a lot of correcting. He was so badly conditioned to think poorly of himself that he needed someone strong to redirect his thinking toward a more positive self image. He needed a Man that would grab him up by the ‘short hairs’ and demand he think and do things his way until it became Wes’s way! Think that’s wrong? What do parents do everyday to children they need to set straight?

Master Walker and Xander had another Pool party cook out the following weekend. Leon and I came together. I had been seeing a lot of Wes but knew that I had to tend to a love that had sustained me to this point. I wasn’t about to lose my rock.

I simply explained to Wes the situation. That what I was to him, Leon was to me. There was no need for jealously nor rejection. I had obligations that I had fostered before he came there and I couldn’t and wouldn’t neglect them.

He seemed to gain strength from my resolve. If I wasn’t going to abandon some other love for him then I wouldn’t abandon his love either! I think Wes really understood and knew that we would have more time together.

It was tough on him because Leon and I looked like we fit as a couple. We dressed alike. When I was with Leon I was more quiet, reserved and leaned on his silent strength a lot. We flowed back and forth with each other without a word spoken. Hell, we had melded into each other so much that we didn’t even have to speak to know what the other was thinking. Master Walker reassured Wes that his ‘Cowboy’ wouldn’t desert him!

Leon was also giving and understanding. He knew that I had to give to Wes to gain a certain portion of myself back. He had gained that from giving to me. He had grown measurably. He even was able to express it to me.

That evening at dinner the topic of conversations ranged widely except for Nam. No one ventured there for Wes and my sake. Just as well. Things were getting worse over there and neither of us wanted to hear about it. Wes still had someone over there he loved and so did I.

He had some guy that was a Bronze Star winner by the name of Beau that had rescued him and six other guys from a temporary VC -POW holding camp. I still had Jim Redfeather over there. I didn’t want to know what was going on but I prayed for my friend each night.

As dinner progress the Men began to talk about Bikes and riding.
“How ‘bout you Cowboy? Ever thought of getting a Motorcycle?” Big Jim asked.

“Yes Sir, Master Jim! I just don’t know how to ride!”
“Hell, Son!” Said Bull, “I’ve seen you on Horseback! You can ride a Bike! Hand full of lessons from us and your on the road!”

“I’d love to have one!” I heard myself say as Leon looked at me funny. “Would you guys teach me to ride?”
“Sure!” Said Big Beryl. Master Jeb there is the teacher. When do you want to get one. We’ll ride you in to the Harley Dealer in Ft. Worth tomorrow. Charlie can ride Buddy with Bull. He can ride it back for you and we’ll teach you here! How does that sound?”

“Well, I’ll have to arrange financing from my account! It may take several days!”
“No it wont!” Said Master Walker. “One phone call to my bank in Ft. Worth and your check will be covered! No matter the amount! Besides you probably have enough in undrawn wages to cover it!”

“Well, if Master Walker will let me off tomorrow I’ll do it! I’ve really admired your Bikes and would like to learn to ride but don’t they make a smaller Bike?” They all laughed.

Almost everyone made pilgrimage to the Harley dealer in Ft. Worth except Leon. He stayed behind to take care of the Ranch. I picked out a beautiful Sportster Model that wasn’t as big as the full dress Hogs but it was what I wanted. I didn’t want to wrestle one of those big machines.

With Master Walker there to guarantee my check there was no problem and Charlie rode it back to the ranch for me. I rode Buddy with Master Sam. He really knew how to ride a Bike and I envied his smooth way of handling his Motorcycle. I paid attention to his shifting with his feet and thought I could master that. It was harder than it seemed.

It was like learning a new way of locomotion. You had a hand operated clutch as well as hand brakes and a foot break. However, you shifted with your foot. With a few lessons from Master Jeb and Master Sam I was doing pretty well.

Leon watched like a Mother Hen that had just hatched a brood of baby ducks that all wanted to go in the water and couldn’t quite figure out why Momma wasn’t swimming with them. Why was she standing on the bank clucking for them to get out of the water when they were having so much fun! He was worried but watched with a proud eye.

Later that evening as we lay together we talked quietly about things.
“You look really good on that Bike, Cowboy!”
“Thank you, Sir! I’m enjoying learning to ride.”
“That Bike is gonna take you away from me.”
“Maybe, for a while, but I’ll be back.”

“Hope so.....!” Was all Leon replied. I knew he was worried. He had formed a strong attachment and didn’t want to give it up.

I also knew he wouldn’t force an issue. If I had to go he would be the first to hold me and wish me well. He was that kind of Man. He had lived his life learning never to expect anything and be thankful for the small joys that came his way.

After I learned to ride fairly well Master San asked me if I wanted to take a couple days run some place?
“How far is Fredrick, Oklahoma from here, Master Sam?”
“About a good days ride, I’d say.”
“Can we ride there. I have someone there I need to visit!”

“The next day we sat out for Fredrick. Master Sam, Bull, Charlie, Big Jim and Master Beryl. Master Jeb stayed behind at the ranch. Wes rode Buddy with Big Jim.

Master Sam was right. It took us about six hours of steady travel to get there and we stayed the night in a local Camp Ground. The next day I inquired at the local Sheriff’s station where the grave yard was and where Ken White might be buried.

The Sheriff took one look at me and hung his head.
“Your Ken’s Buddy from Nam. The one he called ‘Cowboy ’ ain’t you?”
"Yes Sir! I am.”

“Come on Son. I’ll take you to him!” The Sheriff was Ken White’s older brother Stan. We followed him to the grave yard and he took us to a mounded grave site that was still fresh.

When we got there I noticed that not all of us were there. Big Jim and Wes must have gotten lost. I slowly walked up to Ken’s grave and couldn’t go a step further. There on the headstone was a picture of the four of us in our Western clothes that final week before we shipped off for Nam.

It was sealed in a hard plastic and was embossed as part of the head stone. I fell to my knees beside Ken’s grave and started crying. His brother knelt beside me and put his arm around me and cried with me.

The next thing I knew I was being handed some flowers. Wes and Big Jim had stopped and bought a small handful of flowers at a local shopping Mart. Then cars and trucks started arriving from everywhere. His Brother had his secretary call all his Family and they all wanted to come to pay their respects. It was almost more than I could bear but I got through it with Wes’s help.

I was getting stronger. Ken’s brother and Family wouldn’t have anything but the six of us stay with them and have dinner. We did and I think they were surprised that a bunch of rough looking Bikers could be so well mannered and considerate. They fell in love with the lot of us. They didn’t want us to go the next day.

I told his Family what a Hero Ken was and what he meant to me, Buck, Rowley and my Family. They all beamed with pride. It seems Ken had written home extensively about the four of us and how much he thought of us all. His Mother read me part of one of his letters:

“Mom, I’m gonna’ make it! I know I’ll be coming home. I have three Buddies and we look out for each other. Two are from Texas and the other is from Tucson. I’ve written you about them before. They are wonderful friends and I love them, Mom. Billy, the Cowboy, that I stayed a week at his home in Mason, before returning to Boot Camp is one of the finest Men I have ever known. That week we spent Rodeoing with my other two friends and his Family, I will remember for ever. It was one of the best times of my life.”

We said our goodbyes the next morning. I asked Ken’s Brother to drive me back to the grave yard one last time by ourselves while my Buddies were having breakfast at the local diner. He was more than glad to go with me. We drove out and parked his Sheriff’s car and walked to Ken’s grave. Once again we knelt and cried together. I ask if I could be alone for a minute. He understood and walked back to his car to wait for me.

“Ken! My friend! I loved you so much! I had to come say goodbye. I watched my Uncle take you away and know it wasn’t hard for you to follow him!” I laughed thinking of how much Ken White admired my Uncle Bud. “Thank your for saving me! I couldn’t have thanked you right after I got back ‘cause I missed you, Rowley, and Buck so Goddamned much. But, I’m getting better. I have to go tell Rowley and Buck goodbye! I’ll tell him how much you loved him and how much we loved him too. You chose well. He was a damn find looking Man and a Hero to boot.”

“You have a wonderful Family, Ken, and they all loved you so much! I know you can hear what I’m saying because I know you’re here. I know in my heart what you’d want me to tell Rowley. But you’re probably standing here with Rowley, Buck and my Uncle Bud laughing at my sorry ass for being so sentimental.”

“Well, if so, just remember, I have to be here without the four people I loved most in my life. I love you, my Brother! I always will! We’ll be together.......on down the road! So I wont say goodbye.......just, on down the road, Cowboy!!” I cried once more and then returned to Stan’s car.

He understood my silence but before we arrived at the Diner he spoke.
“Billy I want to thank you for coming to see Ken. You can’t know what it has meant to my Family. To tell them the story of his saving your life means the world to them. He was a Hero. We all thank God you made it back and would be thoughtful enough to come to us. God bless you, Son!”

I shed my last tears in Stan White’s big arms and joined my Friends. We left after I had a bite to eat and made it back to the Johnson Ranch late that afternoon. I was in better spirits as I went to Leon to tell him of my trip. He was happy for me and noted that I seemed much stronger.

“I have to go to Bandera to see Rowley and then to Tucson to see Buck. I know it’s important for me to say my goodbyes.”
“I think maybe you’re right, Cowboy! You seem stronger and your head is clearer since you went to say goodbye to your Buddy Ken. Wish I could go with you.!”

“Come! Go with me Leon! I’ll buy you a Bike! Ride with me. Be with me!”
“You need to do this by yourself, Cowboy! I’m here if you need me. You’ve helped me as much as I’ve helped you over the last six months but if it’s meant to be for you to return, you will. You know how I feel about you. I’ll always be here for you!”

I knew he was right but I also knew that I had to go. Maybe I got the taste of being on the open road with several good Men that loved to ride. They were different people on the road. They were more relaxed. Nothing seemed to bother them. If someone was in need of a hand they stopped and did what they could.

I soon found out that I was different on the road as well. I became more relaxed. My mind was in neutral most of the time. I didn’t worry about things so much. I was too busy riding the Bike and observing the scenery. While I wasn’t looking forward to the pain of saying goodbye to Rowley and Buck, I knew I could do it. It was something I had to do!

It was early June that the group set out for Bandera, Texas. They were headed back to the Los Angeles Area. They were going to accompany me to Bandera, Mason, then on to Tucson. I had called Dad Yates before I left and warned him to expect a band of rough looking Bikers but assured him that they were all good Men.

The ride to Bandera was wonderful. Master Sam and Bull knew the back roads through Texas that few traveled. They wove through the small towns and some of the prettiest county in Texas. Portions of the Central Texas area can be flat and uninteresting but the Hill country around the San Antonio is beautiful.

Bandera is right in the heart of the Hill Country. There isn’t one Hell of a lot there. You take a low ride through the Guadalupe River bottom of Hunt, Texas and before you know it your in Bandera. About the only claim to fame is a concrete slab where the locals gather on Saturday Nights to County and Western Dance. The place is called Crowders.

Everyone comes. Families and couples from all over the area. Puckemup trucks, a few cars, Horse back, and buggies. Anyway they can get there. Bring your on bottle but don’t expect to hold on to it. If it’s in a brown paper bag you’re just expected to take a swig and pass it on. It will go all the way ‘round the wooden benches everyone sits on to watch the dancers.

But you wont miss it. Another bag will be in your hands in a few minutes someone else brought so you can enjoy another pull. Every grown Man was expected to bring at least a pint in his hip pocket. No one got too drunk but once in a while there was a fight. They always took it away from the dance floor where there were Women and children.

The Men would all gather and someone would referee to make sure the idiots didn’t kill each other. Most times they took a couple good hits on each other, spend their testosterone and the rest of the time crying in each others arms about what good friends they were and what they meant to each other. Everyone would have a good laugh and head back to the Dance.

We arrived and asked directions at the local store for the grave yard. I bought a bunch of flowers and asked Wes to carry them again for me. As I was paying for them the little woman at the check out counter had a name badge on her uniform top that read: Twissleman. She saw me read her name and I started crying as I paid her for the flowers. She had heard me ask the Manager for directions to the grave yard.

“You’re Billy, ain’t cha’? She ask. I could barely manage an affirmative nod. “I’m Betty Bob! Rowley’s little sister.” She came out from behind the counter hugged and kissed me as we cried in each others arms.

“Mr Warren!” She yelled to her Boss. “Take over for me. I’m showing these Men to my Brothers Grave.” The small Man just nodded approval and took over checking out. “I won’t be back today, Mr. Warren!” She told him. He simply nodded understanding.

She made a couple of phone calls and we no sooner got the Rowley’s grave than fifteen pickemup trucks and cars arrived at the small Grave Yard. I knelt at Rowley’s grave and placed the flowers I had bought on top.

There on his head stone was the same damn picture that was on Ken’s headstone. The Four Cowboys standing in front of the corral fence with their arms around each other in my home town of Mason.

It was a shock to me to see all four faces looking like they knew what I was doing and were having a ball watching me. It busted my heart while at the same time made me feel so damn good.

I suddenly knew what the term ‘sweet sorrow’ meant. I knew those three ass holes were there laughing their ass’s off at me breaking down over Twissleman’s Grave. I could actually feel and smell them as they each knelt and put an arm around me. I didn’t give a shit. It was for me, not them!

It was a warm, still day and all of a sudden this small wind came blowing across the graves and surrounded Betty Bob and I in a small vortex that sent chills up our backs. I looked at her, smiled knowingly and winked as I put my arm around her shoulder. Her eyes were big as saucers! She knew, she felt it too! It was them, letting us know they were there! Rowley’s baby Sister shared that with only me. We Bonded as good friends in that moment.

Twissleman’s Family had gathered but respectfully maintained their distance. Betty Bob was the only one to kneel and pray with me. We both said a prayer. But when we got up she took me by the arm and introduced me to every Brother, Sister, Mother, Father, Cousin, Uncle, Aunt, Grandmother’s, Grandfather’s of Rowley Twissleman.

There were quite a few close friends of his there as well. Damn he had a large Family and his Dad was an older version of Rowley. I cried as I hugged him. The rock hard older Cowboy broke down in my arms as well.

“Your Son was one of the finest Men it’s ever been my pleasure to call my Friend, Mr. Twissleman! He was a true American Hero. He saved my sorry life, Sir! I had to come and say my goodbyes and tell you and his Family what he meant to me. I would have come sooner but I have been healing myself!”

“We’re so glad you did, Son! Come! You and your Friends! Stay a spell with us, have dinner and stay the night if you can. We have lots of room. If nothing else we have a huge Barn!” He laughed.

“Wouldn’t be the first Barn any of us stayed in Mr. Twissleman!” We both laughed as we walked arm in arm to the Trucks and Bikes. We paraded all the way to the Twissleman ranch which was on the other side of the Guadulape River.

We had to cross a low water damn to get up to their place. It was a beautiful natural rock house and well kept Barn and out buildings. It was obvious the Twissleman’s were serious Ranchers.

Most of the people disbursed but soon returned to the Twissleman Ranch with more food and drink than you can imagine. I had tried to tell some of the guys the hospitality of Rodeo Folks and I don’t think they believe me. When they saw the food that was spread out over six big picnic tables their eyes got really big. They couldn’t believe it.

I had a few hours to get together with Rowley’s immediate Family and tell them just what had happened. They had no idea as the Government didn’t give much information to the Families. I was a first hand observer and told them every thing as it went down. All the way to rising up out of my body and talking to them. Rowley had told me to tell his Dad how much he loved him and I did! His Dad cried again.

I never mentioned any other facts of Rowley’s and Ken’s relationship but while I was having my fourth piece of pie or cake, I can’t remember, Betty Bob and I were talking.

“Rowley and I were really close, Billy!”
“I know, Betty Bob! I can feel it! He talked about you all the time. He loved you dearly!”

“I knew Rowley didn’t care much for the girls, Billy. You don’t either!”
“I love YOU, Betty Bob!” She giggled and leaned against me.
“You know what I mean, silly!” I smiled and nodded.

“Was my Brother happy with Ken, Billy?!” She could have blown me away. I never thought in my wildest imaginings that sweet little Woman would ask me a penetrating question like that.

“More than you can know, Betty Bob! They were going to spend their lives together with Buck Yates and I. We were a team. We couldn’t imagine being far from each other the rest of our lives. We four were going to Rodeo until we were older, buy adjacent ranches and teach young Kids to Rodeo.”

“I know!” She said quietly. “He wrote me all about it! I’ll make copies of his letters and forward them to you, now that I have an address. You’ll see. He didn’t come right out and speak of his love for Ken but I knew my Brother and we had no secrets from each other.”

“We never fought as we were growing up. He was my protector. My strong right arm. I could lean on him if I got hurt or someone hurt my feelings. There was a love that passed between us that few Brothers and Sisters ever share. I went into deep depression when they sent us the news of his death”

“We had heard rumors that there was one survivor but we didn’t know if it was you or Buck. I knew all along it was you and told my Family so. They weren’t so sure. I prayed night after night God would lead you to us.”

“Then when I saw you look at my name badge and got tears in your eyes I heard Rowley’s voice as clear as day whisper in my ear, “That’s Billy, Little Sister! Show him to my grave!” Betty Bob got tears in her eyes. I reached over and hugged her.

“I believe you Little Sister! I saw the look in your face. Just as I did when the three of them let us know they were there with us this afternoon!”
“They were, weren’t they, Billy?”
“You felt them, same as I did!”

“Do me a favor, Billy!”
“Anything, Sweetheart!”
“Don’t stop calling me Little Sister! That’s all Rowley called me all my life! If he called me Betty Bob it was ‘cause he was irritated at me for something. He never stayed mad at me for long because he had too much love in his big heart. I was always his, Little Sister. I miss hearing someone call me that and would be proud for you to!”

“I already think of you that way, Betty Bob so not to worry. You’ll always be my Little Sister.” We hugged and kisses to seal the agreement. Rowley smiled, put his big arms around Ken White and Buck Yates, as they watched two people they loved find comfort in each other.

They next morning, after a huge Ranch breakfast, we thanked everyone for the wonderful time and hospitality. My Biker Buddies were agog and couldn’t thank the Twissleman’s enough. Rowley’s two Brothers, who were pretty big boys, were impressed with the two Giants and their gentle graciousness. We all were invited back individually or together.

“Mr. Twissleman, I’m gonna’ stop back by the grave yard on my way out of town. I need to say goodbye by myself!” He nodded understanding as a tear ran down his cheek. He held out his arms for me one last time and he wouldn’t let me go until I promised I would return some day to spend a little more time with the Family. I promised I would.

“Little Sister? You want to stop by with me?”
“No Billy! You need to go by yourself. Just as all of us have at one time or other. Snuck off by ourselves to visit his grave so we could be alone with him. You need that too!” Betty Bob hugged and kissed me goodbye and also wouldn’t let me go ‘till I promised faithfully to come again. I promised.

We left and I headed to the grave yard. My Buddies were going to go on ahead and wait for me at a small roadside park just outside of town. I pulled into the grave yard and parked my Bike. It was a beautiful morning. I walked slowly to Rowley’s grave. It was not as hard as the first time. I had the love of Friends, his Family and Little Sister in my heart.

I stopped and knelt at the foot of the big Man’s grave.
“Thanks Rowley!” Was all I could muster for a moment. Then I became strong again. I had to get it out! “I loved you, still do! But thanks so much for your love and your wonderful Family. I now know what made you such a fine Man and why I loved you so much.”

“Most of all, thanks for sharing your Little Sister with me. She’s a treasure! I’ve come to love her too. Tell everybody over there I love them and I feel them closer each day. I also know from this visit that none of you have truly left me. You’re in my heart each day. It wont make it so hard to visit Buck. It’ll be hard, but I’ll have his Dad! We’ll help each other. Ken said to tell you he will always love you!”

“You know if I couldn’t tell him goodbye, I sure as Hell can’t tell you that! On down the road, Cowboy! On down the road! We’ll have those adjacent Ranches yet! You wait and see! Thank you for my life, Bro!”

I cried one last time standing there looking at the picture of the four of us and another small gust of wind brushed my cheek. It was a still day and no leaves on any tree were moving.

I walked slowly back to my Bike and I heard Rowley call my name. I turned and smiled. I waved goodbye and took off on my Bike with a full heart. All the things that happened may simply have been coincidence.Tricks of the mind! Maybe they were. I didn’t care. I knew in my heart they weren’t! That’s all that mattered. If I wanted them to be real, they were! Was it coincidence that the warmth of the Sun made the first two cells of life divide?

I joined my Biker Buddies at the roadside park. They were in no hurry to leave. We were headed for Mason next to visit my Dad and Uncle Joe before heading out to Tucson.

“I nominate Cowboy for Membership in the Clan Mc Innis!” Said Bull, “After that feed last night at the Twissleman’s, I’ll ride with that Man anywhere!” Everyone agreed as they laughed.

“I second that nomination!” Said Big Jim followed by Charlie and Master Jeb.
“Then it’s resolved! Billy! You’ll have a three month probationary period and then be voted into full membership! But,..... for initiation, you have to spend the night with the Road Captain!” Laughed Big Beryl.

“It would be an honor, Sir!” I replied to his laughter.

“Damn, I like this Kid!” He said as he hugged me to him. “Learned to ride a Bike pretty damn good too!” They all congratulated me on my nomination to the Clan. It made me feel good to belong to this fine group of Men.

We headed on out to Mason. It was a good days ride to Mason from the Hill Country of San Antonio. A beautiful ride. In a vehicle you don’t appreciate the beauty of the countryside the way you do when you are out in it on a Bike.

I knew that feeling from riding a Horse but never the feeling of burning up the road while being a part of nature. It was a glorious experience and I could understand why these Men relished being on the road.

They were a different breed of Men when they were on their Bikes. It seemed to make them more humble and prouder of their role in nature and humanity. They related more freely to each other and I felt myself being pulled into their inner circle of comradeship. They each had their pains of life to suffer and it helped me to see that I was not the only person living with pain.

Certainly Wes had his share of pain over the years. His Father had wrecked his cock by nailing it to the porch over and over again. I thought he was lying to me. How could any human do that to a child. Especially his Father for God’s sake!

Master Johnson assured me that his story was true and that he had bought Wes from his Father for Forty dollars. Wes’s story was too horrible for me to understand, although it didn’t stop me from making love to Wes. He was one hot little Man and we pulled our bedrolls together any chance we could. He too had certain responsibilities to Master Jeb and occasionally Big Jim but we spent a lot of time together.

We arrived in Mason late that evening. I had phoned Dad to let him know we were coming but didn’t know exactly the day we would be there. Between Uncle Joe’s big house which he hardly used any more and Dad’s there was plenty of room for everyone. I was going to ask Wes to stay with me but Master Jeb had need of Wes and I understood.

As it turned out Uncle Joe took Bull, Charlie and Master Jeb and Wes to his house the two Giants stayed in separate bedrooms in Dad’s house. Lester, Uncle Joe and Dad were so glad to see me. Dad looked a lot better. He wouldn’t admit it but Uncle Joe was coloring his hair for him and he looked ten years younger. Quite handsome!

“Dad? I know it’s unusual for a grown Man to ask his Father to share his bed but we have an unusual relationship. Since Uncle Joe is staying the night at his house and I don’t want to stay alone would you consider staying the night with me?”

“I’ll be honest with you Son! Those nights I spent with you before you left were so hard on me........not so much for what you were going through but because it was like sleeping with and holding your Uncle Bud again. I couldn’t keep my old dick from getting hard and tried like the Devil to hide it from you.”

“You failed, Dad!” I laughed as a silly grin crossed his face.
“Then you mean........?” He looked up at me with the most loving face.
“What ever it takes to make my old Man love me, Dad!”

“You wanted to buy my love, I want to give you mine. Well, maybe a fiver left on the dresser might be nice!! That is, if’n you think I was worth it!” I threw back my head and laughed. He grabbed me an pulled me to him.

“That’s why I let you and Bud get close. I knew if you asked him and you wanted it, he would teach you about Man sex. I couldn’t do it! My accepting the responsibility for you as my Son all those years meant everything to me.”

“It was important to me to be your Dad and a Dad just wouldn’t approach his Son no matter how handsome and wonderful a Man he thought his only Son had turned out to be. Have I told you lately that I love you, Son!” I laughed at his aside.

“No! Not within the last fifteen minutes. But it will be about the twenty fifth time since I walked though the door. But, tell me again, Dad! I never get tired of hearing those words from my old Man!” We laughed together.

I cleaned out and invited Dad to the shower with me. I helped him undress and pulled his old brown cowboy work boots off him. He didn’t seem shy at all. We had run around nude in front of each other for years ‘cause there were no Women in the house. Lester was the only one to get upset and of late he just giggled.

I got my old Man in the shower and bathed him slowly. Rubbed his big, tired old back for him and stood for many minutes just holding him under the hot water.

I had forgotten how big a Man my Dad was, everywhere. He was taller and bigger in the shoulders that Uncle Bud and considerably better hung. I took his cock in my hands to clean and rinse it.

“No wonder my silly Uncle Joe loves you old Man! You been slamming that half pound of meat up his ass all these years! Think you could give your Son’s Butt a taste of that good, prime, aged Cowboy beef tonight. He sure would appreciate it!”

Dad looked down at me with love in his eyes, wrapped his big arms around me and kissed me hard as the hot water continued to run over us. “Clean yourself out good?” He asked softly.

“Yeah! Real good! For my old Man! And Dad.......I love you so much! For everything! You’ve been the greatest Dad a Kid could wish for!”

“God! You can’t know how much I love you, Son! I loved your Uncle Bud, and I loved him for giving me you, but I loved you every minute you were with me. Still do! I just hope you’re getting better and will find love again.”

“By the way, Booger has called asking if I know where you are and I hate to lie to the Man! He’s a good Man, Son! Ugly as a mud fence, but a good hearted loving Man! You could do worse than old Booger Red.”

“I know Dad and I’m gonna’ face that next! My love for Booger was sort of put on a shelf when I went to Nam and fell in love with Buck. I still love Booger but I just haven’t been able to let go of Buck yet.

“My visit with his Dad and going to tell Buck goodbye will get me to the next hill. That next hill will be Booger, I promise! If he calls again just tell him I’ll find him! Give me a little more time!”

We crawled into his bed downstairs. He had all his stuff there that he used when he fucked Uncle Joe and his bed was newer with no squeeky springs. We made love for quite a while and knew he was having problems about taking me. God knows, he wanted to but there was that thing in the back of his head that he was my Dad. He was, but I wanted to pleasures him so I began to suck on his big dick.

I don’t think Uncle Joe sucked his dick too often ‘cause my old Man started writhing like a snake in hot ashes.
“Oh Son! Oh shit, boy! That feels so damn good. Oh fuck! Take the head just a little.....Oh, son of a bitch.... I love you, Cowboy!” Hell, that really turned me on for my old Man to call me Cowboy.

I sucked and tongued his big cock for about an hour, but I wouldn’t allow him to come. I wanted to catch him in my ass. Before he knew what I was doing I straddled him, positioned his big dick at my ass and sunk it into me all the way to the base. Damn, he felt good!

“Holy shit!” Dad exclaimed. “That was some mount Cowboy! But we’ve got a little problem!”
“What’s that Dad?”
“I shot my load on the mount, deep in your little ass, Son!” I leaned over and kissed him gently.

“Thanks, Dad! I needed that!” We both laughed. “You don’t get off that easy old Man! You stay up there in me until you’ve got your second wind then I expect to get the B’Jesus fucked out of me!”

“You mean I get a second ride on my ornery young bucking bronc!”
“Indeed you do Cowboy and I’ll make you a bet that you can ride him longer than the eight second buzzer!”
“You’re on Cowboy! Although as good as you feel with me up there inside you, I just might lose that bet!” He laughed at me.

We laughed and talked for a while. I’d give him a good long test stroke with my ass every now and then. I could feel him starting to grow inside me as we talked.
“You know Dad, this is gonna’ sound strange but I’m glad it was you that raised me instead of Uncle Bud.”

“Why do you say that, Cowboy?”
“He would have spoiled me rotten and I would have never gotten to have sex with either one of you beautiful Men! The way you turned me out is just fine with me Dad! Have I told you lately that I love you, old Man!”

“No but I’m just about to show you some Daddy loving you didn’t think this old Man was capable of! Now, I’m gonna’ flip you over and get in the saddle.” Dad flipped me over and I grabbed my legs to let him get his best angle of entry. He took me hard, really hard! I writhed in pleasure.

“Thank you! Thank you, old Man! Thanks for taking me that hard Dad. Now, Cowboy, show your Kid how a bare back bronc should be ridden.” My old Man didn’t wait for the chute door to open! He started his leather slapping hard ride in his Son’s saddle.”

“I had teased him and cajoled him enough that he was gonna’ get a prize winning ride out of his Kid. He rode me hard, deep and fast. He would kiss me and groan a deep guttural growl on each good stroke he took into the depths of my Butt.

“Oh....right there! Oh shit! That’s some good fucking right there, Son! Hold it up there for your old Man .......awwhhh, yes! Right there!!!.. that’s the good stuff.....Oh, fuck......some damn good fucking right there!! I’m getting ready to ride you down hard, Cowboy. Work with your old Man now.”

He started his ride up the hill. I could feel his cock engorged to the max with blood and knew that this ride up the hill was gonna’ get me there as well as him.

As a matter of fact he got me there about half a minute before he unloaded his sweet come into me. He was riding me down harder than any Man had ever taken me and I loved him for it!

“Oh shit!” I exclaimed as my old Man collapsed on top of me. Spent. Whispering in my ear how good a fuck I was and that he loved me.
“No wonder both my Uncle’s love you so much, Dad! And now you have your boy in your cheering section. Shit! If’n I’d known you were that great a fuck I would have let you and Uncle Joe win sometime at roping.”

My old Man started laughing and I thought he was gonna’ wake the whole house. It just struck his funny bone and he couldn’t stop laughing. He pulled out and I went to the head to get a warm cloth to clean him. He was still laughing when I came back.

“You mean that’s all it would have taken to beat you and Bud all those years we had to eat your dust?!” He laughed as he asked. I smiled wickedly.

“Bet your ass! If you threw a fuck in me like that I would have done anything in the world for you, old Man. As it turns out, I would anyway!” I kissed him as he grabbed me in his big arms and pulled me on top of him.

“I have felt so bad for years about doing the wrong thing by having you the way I did but right at this moment it doesn’t seem to matter anymore. I loved Bud so much all those years and I loved you too. Now I still have you, a beautiful Son, that I am so proud of for my old age.”

“Maybe what I did wasn’t so wrong! And sharing a little love with you like this, is just icing on the cake. I envy the Man that’s gonna’ end up with you Son! He will be one lucky Man!”

“Awwhh, your prejudiced, Dad! Love you anyway! You are one Hell of a good fuck, old Man! I’m gonna’ tell that Uncle of mine to treat you better and the next time I walk into this house your boots had better be cleaned and polished with his tongue or I’M gonna’ take him to the wood shed!!”

I knew how to make my Dad laugh and it felt good to share an intimate moment with him. I slept in his big arms all night. I don’t think he let go of me once. For the first time since coming home I didn’t wake during the night screaming. We lay in bed the next morning and he commented on it as well.

“You didn’t have bad dreams last night, Son!”
“It was that fucking you threw into me last night, Dad! Your dick is medicinal! Straightened me right out! I got two loads of my old Man’s come in me to chase away the bad dreams. My ass just chowed down on your good sweet come and wouldn’t let the bad dreams though.”

“You did get one thing from your Uncle Bud!”
“What’s that Dad?”
“Your gift of Bull Shit!! That Man could throw some and you just bested him! But, I love you for the sentiment.”

I sucked him off before we got up to start breakfast for the troops. He tasted so fine. Almost as sweet and tart as my Uncle Bud. I not only loved my Dad, I now loved my old Man! I was so fucking proud of him and would have laid my life down for that old Man. He was my Dad!!

Everyone including Uncle Joe knew something was different the next morning. There was no longer any distance between me and Dad. All the barriers came down. He wasn’t afraid to brush up against me in the kitchen. When we sat down to eat he put his arm around me before saying grace. He ran his hand over my longish hair and pulled at it!

Old Lester kept giving me the Fish Eye and then when I looked right at him and winked, he knew immediately what had gone on and started laughing. Uncle Joe was mystified.

I was gonna’ leave it up to Dad to tell him if he ever wanted to. Far as I was concerned it was between me and my old Man. I didn’t want to come between my Dad and Uncle Joe. Dad knew that anyway.

It was just something I asked him to share and he did. Not sorry either! Damn he fucked me good. That fucking Uncle of mine probably deserved to have his arm broken that time!! I shouldn’t think that! I loved Uncle Joe! I just wondered if he realized what a prize he had in my Dad. He did but I wasn’t to find out until after Dad passed away.

We stayed for almost a week with Dad and Uncle Joe. Uncle Joe love to play host and spent every night in his house with his guest. I spent every night taking care of my old Man. Dad never shared that with Uncle Joe.

He and I were forming a new relationship that went beyond Father and Son. We were becoming Friends. Buddies! O.K., Fuck Buddies, if you will.

I didn’t care because I knew Uncle Joe was the love of his life. He wasn’t worried because he knew I appreciated their relationship and needed to go on with my life. But my old Man, God love him, was just the love I needed right at that particular moment in my life and I will always love him the more for it. I know he did me.

He talked to me a lot about Uncle Joe and I will have to say no two people loved each other more. He had been honest with my Mom that Joe would probably be a part of their lives but at least she never had to worry about him chasing other women. My Mom and Uncle Joe loved each other.

Aside from Uncle Bud, my Dad was probably the only truly Bi-sexual Man I ever knew in my life. He stayed with Joe after Mom died because it was just easier than chasing tail. He and Joe did it together for years. Except Uncle Joe never wasn’t interested in the women and would suck Dad off after they got rid of ‘em!

He dearly loved my Dad for years! No one in the community knew but Lester! Lester knew everyone’s secrets in town. He was Dad and Uncle Joe’s biggest defenders. No one dared say anything about them because Lester knew too much about any body that tried.

Besides they got the reputations of being Hell Raisers, Good Old Boys, early on and it stuck. No one would ever guess Dad was fucking the snot out of Uncle Joe almost every night! I certainly never knew when I was growing up.

Sometime Dad and Uncle Joe would have to work late. They weren’t working. They were in the back! Dad would be having a Beer while Uncle Joe was sucking him off! Or he’d bend him over a work bench and fuck Uncle Joe ‘till he whistled like a pig!

That’s why I’d be sent to my Aunt Ethel’s on Friday evenings and told not to come home ‘til Sunday evening after Church. They would sometime spend the whole weekend in bed together. They worked hard together! They played hard together! Still, Uncle Joe could have kept Dad’s Boots a little better!

After a week I could tell my Buddies in the Clan were getting itchy to get on the road again. I had visited with all my Family and it was time to move on and let them get back to their normal routines.

I was coming to appreciate my Family more and more as I got older. They were a bit different but that can be said for everyone’s Family. I was beginning to form a new Family. The Clan Mc Innis had become the most loving and caring Men I had ever known in my life. They had their rough spots but again, what Family doesn’t?

I called Dan Yates and guesstimated that we would be in Tucson in about two or three days. He seemed thrilled to hear from me and was looking forward to seeing me. This would be the hardest part of my journey.

End Chapter IV~
Waddie Greywolf
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