|
We lay on the bed in the dark-waiting. Although Terry didn't move, the rate of his breathing told me that he was awake. After a while, I almost wanted Snyder to come. I couldn't see how the reality of his visit could be worse than the anticipation of it. Interminable as the wait seemed, he came. The light came on; we jumped for the yellow line, not wanting to give Snyder any excuse to hurt us-hoping against hope that it would be a different guard, but it was Snyder's voice, which came through the speaker. "On the floor," he said, "face down, head away from the door." Shackled hand and foot, it wasn't easy to lie prone on the floor, so when we attempted to lower ourselves gently to the floor, Snyder yelled, "Now, god damn you! On your faces." Both of us dove for the mattress which was on the floor. Landing partly on Terry, I rolled off him, onto the floor under the bed. That angered Snyder. "Get out from under that fucking bed, you little fag, or I'll stuff your face down the toilet and hold it there until you drown." I scooted out as quickly as I could, toward the toilet, which, considering what Snyder had said, was not the direction I wanted to go, but it was my only choice, since my head was pointed in that direction. In a moment, I heard the door open and heard Snyder's footsteps as he walked into our cell. When I heard Terry gasp, I surreptitiously glanced back. Snyder was poking Terry in the ass with his baton. "How's the ass, Pretty Boy? Did it tighten up while I was gone, or has your fag friend been fucking you?" When Terry didn't answer, he poked him harder. "Answer me, Fuck Face. Has your boyfriend been fucking you? You probably like it now that I've broken you in." I could hear the pain in Terry's voice when he said, "No, he hasn't been fucking me." Stepping over Terry, he came to me. Swinging his baton, he struck my balls, which had been shuffled back onto the floor between my legs as I had scooted forward. The pain was so intense that I threw up. "How about it, Fag? You been fucking him? I know that there were come stains all over one of the sheets." "No," I gasped, trying to catch my breath through the pain. "That was me. I jacked off." "Did he fuck you?" he asked, striking me a glancing blow in the balls, since I had raised my hips allowing my balls to hang forward in not quite so vulnerable a position, but, so injured had they been by the first blow, that this one intensified and prolonged of my pain. "No!" I screamed. "I sucked his cock. That's all. I just sucked his cock." By then, I would have told him anything to avoid more blows. "If you sucked his cock, you can suck mine." He stepped over me, turned around, dropped his pants, and sat down on the toilet. His circumcised cock, short, but thick, curved sharply to the left. Deformed as it was, I wondered if it had been partially the cause of his depravity. When I hesitated, he said, "Suck my fucking cock, you little fag-and, if I feel your teeth, I'll knock them out." I took the head of his cock into my mouth, almost gagging with revulsion. I might be queer, but sucking Snyder's cock didn't arouse me. "Deeper," he said. "Take it all into your mouth." I did, but thick and curved as it was, had difficulty taking it into my throat without gagging. I was afraid, if I gagged, I might bite down onto his cock, and I had no doubt, that, if I did, I would lose my teeth. It took him a while to come, but when he did, he pumped a large load into my mouth. Although, he hadn't told me to swallow it, I knew better than to spit it out, so I swallowed all his come, although, if my stomach hadn't been empty, I think that I might have vomited again. Taking his spent cock out of my mouth, he wiped it on my face, then stood up, pulling up his pants. After he had zipped them, he said to Terry, "That what you're going to do-soon. I hope you learned something from watching that." So, Terry had been watching? It shamed me even more, to know that he had been watching me suck Snyder's cock. I doubted, after seeing that, he would ever let me suck his cock again. Stepping over me, Snyder stood over Terry. "Suck his cock." Thinking that he wanted me to suck Terry's cock, I turned around and sat up to see that he wasn't looking at-or talking to me. He was talking to Terry. "I'm not sucking anyone's cock," answered Terry. Snyder struck him in the kidneys with his baton, then kicked him, lifting Terry, turning him over onto his back. Leaning over, he grabbed Terry by the balls, lifting him off the floor. Pulling a knife out of his pocket, he flipped it open, then held it to the base of Terry's balls. "Either you suck his cock, or you lose you balls-your choice. I'd like you better without balls, anyway." "OK," Terry grimaced through clenched teeth. "I'll suck his cock." Under other circumstances, I would have given anything to have Terry suck my cock, but only if he had wanted to suck it-only, if it had been done out of love. Because of Snyder's presence and the pain in my balls, I didn't even have an erection. Terry scooted toward me, hesitated, then took my limp cock into his mouth. Despite my pain, despite Snyder's presence, Terry's hot mouth on my cock made it hard. Although I'd had little experience sucking cock, I had enjoyed it-except with Snyder. I was much better at it than Terry. He took it into his mouth, but never into his throat. Still, I soon felt my climax approaching. Warning Terry, I said, "I'm gonna come." With a look of horror or disgust, Terry quickly withdrew his mouth from my cock, but I hadn't warned him soon enough. The first spurt of my come exploded into his mouth-then onto his face. Immediately he spit it out, earning him another blow from Snyder's baton. "Next time, you swallow his fucking come." Without another word, Snyder went out the door, locking it behind him. The light went out, leaving Terry and me on the floor in the dark. I heard Terry climb onto his bunk. I wanted to climb up there beside him, but, after what had just happened, I was afraid that he would resent having me in his bed, so I lay on the mattress on the floor. After a moment, I said, "I'm sorry, Terry." He didn't say anything for a moment, then, "It's not your fault-it's Snyder's. It could have been worse. It's been worse before-but I'm not sucking his cock, no matter what he does. He'll have to kill me before I suck his cock." The vehemence with which he said it made me ashamed that I'd sucked Snyder's cock. In my defense, I said, "I had to. He hurt me so bad. I couldn't help it." "It's different with you. You like to suck cock. You wanted to suck mine." "Well, you sucked mine." "It was either that or lose my balls. I hated it-and you didn't have to come into my mouth. You could have told me sooner." "I tried to tell you, but, when I'm about to come, it's difficult to think about anything else." "You might like the taste of come, but I don't. You must like the taste of it. You swallowed Snyder's." "I wanted to suck your cock, Terry. I wanted to swallow your come, but I hated having to suck Snyder's cock. Swallowing his come almost made me throw up." "Why did you swallow it, then?" "You know what he would have done, if I hadn't. Maybe I'm a coward, but I couldn't have taken any more blows to my balls. They hurt like hell as it is." "Well, I sucked your cock-but it doesn't mean anything. Snyder made me. It doesn't mean that I'm queer like you." "I know you're not-but, at least, you should be able to understand why I sucked Snyder's. I didn't want to suck his anymore than you wanted to suck mine." "I'm not sucking his. I might not be able to stop him from fucking me, but if he sticks his cock into my mouth, I'll bite it off." "If you bite him, he'll kill you." "I don't care. You think I want to go on living like this. I'd rather be dead." I didn't have an answer. As frightened as I was of Snyder. As much as I hated the Walls, I still wanted to live. Maybe it was because I had Terry. As deplorable as the conditions were, I was with him for every hour of every day. If we hadn't been in the Walls, he would have probably gone off to college somewhere, and I would have rarely seen him. I would have certainly never gotten to suck his cock. He would have never sucked mine. Although I hated myself for it, in some ways, I was glad that we were in this cell together. At the time, since Snyder was forcing him, I hadn't been aroused by the thought of having Terry suck my cock, but, thinking back on it, remembering how his hot mouth felt on my cock, remembering my climax-my come squirting into his mouth, I became hard again. Thinking of the cruel things that Terry had said to me, I hoped that Snyder would make him suck my cock again. When I spoke to Terry again, he said, "Go the fuck to sleep, Lyons. I don't want to talk about it anymore." At first I didn't think I could sleep, but, exhausted, mentally and physically, I drifted off to sleep. |