But after a few decades, these practices became boring. Everyone has tried everything and the penises grow back within a year. What other uses could be there for those appendages? While some years ago it would be very rare to find a man with a full-grown penis (unless he was on his way to one of the many collecting centers), now it is quite common. The prices of penises have plummeted; there wasn't even much demand for them in the restaurants. It's quite common that a restaurant orders too many penises, which then end up like dog food.

But someone had the ingenious idea to turn penis removal into sport. Finally some use for those things! What has started like a small event ages ago, quickly grew into the largest mass sporting event on the planet. It's now held every year, just enough time for the males to grow their appendages back.

And today, the 99th Penilympics have begun!

The first discipline is the 500 m Sprint. Female runners are waiting for the signal at the beginning of the track. Every one has a razor-sharp knife in hand. Just behind them, 12 men are tied to wooden poles, their penises sticking out and well banded to prevent blood loss upon removal. On the Ready signal, the females grab the penises with one of their hand. On Get Set, they position the knifes at the very base of the penises. And finally on Go, they quickly cut the appendages off and sprint for the end marker. The first runner to reach the finish, with the penis in hand, wins.

Ready, Get set, Go! And they are away! Oh, but contestant no. 3 is disqualified for cutting and starting prematurely! In fury, she throws the severed penis on the track and stomps and jumps on it until it's reduced to an unidentifiable mess. Ouch!

Next discipline is the Relay Race. Each team consists of 6 runners and the 'baton' is really a machete. 30 men are tied to poles at the side of the track with their members pointing out. At every fifth pole, there's a runner waiting for the baton. On the Start signal, the first runner swiftly cuts the penis of the first man an drops it, runs to another, cuts him, etc, until she cuts five men and gets to the sixth pole. There she handles the machete to the next runner, who cuts five more men during her run, the baton gets exchanged etc. This way, each runner gets to cut off 5 dicks. The race is over when the last one of the 30 severed penises hits the track. The team may be disqualified if any of the 30 penises is not completely severed (i.e. left hanging), or if what remains is more than 1/4 of the original length. Sometimes it happens that due to the rush of the race, the men suffer other injuries from the machetes, like a lost testicle, but the teams don't get penalties for that. Accidents happen during sports, right?

Here comes the Rifle Shooting, often regarded as the most popular discipline of all. Hundreds of contestants compete in this discipline. The rules are simple: each woman has 30 stationary targets to shoot in various ranges. Of course, the targets are men penises, still attached to their owners, brought to erection and banded prior to the competition. Usually, only the largest penises (above 8 inches) are selected for this event. The men are lying in pits, so only their penises are visible above the ground. The shooter's score is based not only on the number of targets she successfully hits, but also on how much of the penis she shoots off. The less of the penis remains, the more points she gets. Due to the large amount of contestants, often several days of the Penilympics is dedicated just to this discipline. Thus, the viewers get to watch penises getting shot off for days.

Let's go to the Cock Throw discipline. This discipline is very difficult and requires a lot of focus from the contestants. The women who compete get to select the penises according to their preferences. There have even been some attempts to breed men specifically for the purpose of this discipline. The rules are as follows – the woman gets to cut off the penis of the tied victim (either with a knife or scissors) and throws it as far as possible. Each contestant has three tries, with three fresh penises. The discipline is very hard to master. The penis, being quite light and not very aerodynamic, is difficult to throw properly. Yet, some throwers have learned to exploit the small subtleties of the human penis and use them to their advantage. Some are even considered artists, since they can throw the cock in such a way, that it actually changes the direction or speed of descent during the flight. Some women train very hard to get good in this discipline; the best can do as many as 300 throws in a single day of training! There are two sub-disciplines here: either with erect or flaccid penises. Of course, the erect ones fly much better, but there are masters of the flaccid cocks as well. Usually, flaccid penises are thrown like a boomerang, while the erect ones fly like small javelins.

And that's the summary of this years' Penilympics. Of course, there are many more disciplines. For example, a very popular discipline is the Machete Competition, based on an ancient sport. You can read about that ritual sport in a story from our friend Finder. Anyway, I'll leave the other disciplines to other reporters, so write about them if you wish. I hope everyone had good fun during this year's Penilympics! We truly thank this event for reigniting the interest in the custom of penis removal. Booths are scattered across the Penilympics city, where cock dogs are served. Other booths are for entertainment and training, where little girls get to cut off their first penises. Of course, there are lots of shooting galleries and other small competitions, everything available for very small fees.

And we hope you ladies will have fun at home as well! But ladies, please don't forget to use only quality tools on your husbands and boyfriends. Only high-quality bands allow for good banding of the penis. Heavy-duty steel or titanium knifes retain their sharpness after many years of intensive usage. And last but not least, always use regrow enzymes from verified sources. There are reports of fakes, which don't work and cause your mate to lose his member for good, so beware! You can buy everything you need from P-Off Corp. We only sell high quality products. Call now or visit any from our many stores!