He rubbed his head and felt only stubble. Great, he thought to himself. I must have passed out early and they shaved my head again. He brushed his eyes to feel for eyebrows, but there was just stubble there, too.

His buddies pulled shit like this on each other all the time - juvenile, yes, but it was fun. He'd woken up before covered in shaving cream, or his hand in a glass of cooling water with a wet spot on his pants. Once they even tied him up naked on the front porch - they were worried he'd throw up and not be able to roll over, but the cops didn't seem to think that solution was the most appropriate. Chris gave as good as he got it, too. They bought the local supermarket out of Nair and toilet paper on a regular basis.

Chris' pants were unzipped, and he slipped a hand down to feel around. Motherfucker, he thought. They fucking took my dick again.

Last time they stole his dick, he couldn't find it for days. Even after they finally found it under the couch, he'd still sat to piss a few times just out of habit. He hoped this time nobody had forgotten where they'd put it, like Lars...somebody has swiped his last semester and they'd still never found it. Lars was pretty pissed off at first, but he'd always been more of a bottom, and after awhile stopped bothering to look. When he really needed one he just borrowed somebody else's.

Chris got up and stumbled back to his room. Maybe I just left it on the dresser or something, he thought. Sometimes he did that at parties when he wanted to stay out of trouble, but no luck this time. Annoyed, he stripped down and headed to the bathroom to take a shower.

Steve was in there already, still wet from the shower. He noticed Chris walk in and looked over at him. "Lost your dick, too, huh?" Steve asked, laughing a little. Chris looked down at his crotch, and sure enough, all he had hanging was his swollen balls.

"Yeah. Fuckwits," Chris answered. "You know who took 'em?"

"I dunno, but I didn't get laid last night and I'm about ready to burst. If I don't find it soon I think my nuts are gonna explode." He washed the remaining bits of cream off his face and lathered up his groin.

"Least you got hair still," Chris told him.

"Yeah, um...I sort of helped with that one," Steve laughed. "But I didn't do your eyebrows. You look good with a shaved head, though, you oughtta keep it that way."

"Yeah, but then they'll just start doing something worse." Chris walked on into the communal shower and turned the water on. He sat and let it run over him, down his arms and over his chest and through his dickless groin, wishing his head would feel better.

A few minutes later Pete wandered in, his big, thick cock hard with morning wood. He and Chris grunted a mutually hung-over greeting, and Pete turned on the water spout next to Chris. Chris was feeling a little better now that he was up and moving. He went back out to the sinks to shave. Steve had already left, but now Eric was up and sitting down to take a piss on the toilet.

"Man, did they take everybody's?" Eric asked Chris when he saw.

"Pete's still got his on," Chris answered him.

"Yeah, but he left early last night with that one guy, remember?"

"Oh, right. I dunno then; only other person I've seen is Steve, and they got his."

"Yeah," Eric sighed, standing up now that he was done. He reached up and stretched, yawning. "I swear, I'm getting sick of this shit. I can deal with the other shit, but I'm sick of waking up dickless, man." Eric wandered back into the shower room. "Yo, Pete, can I borrow your dick to jerk it?"

"Yeah, me, too," Chris chimed in. He could use a good wank.

"Eh, sorry dudes, I gotta go meet Darren." Darren was Pete's boy. Chris thought he was a nice guy but kind of a pansy.

"Aww, come on, man, just while you're getting dressed," Eric pleaded.

Pete thought about it, then relented. "Uh...well, okay. But don't lose it, and you're only gonna have about twenty minutes - I'm in a rush." He reached down and squeezed it at the base, then pulled his dick off and handed it to Eric, who positioned it up to his crotch, squeezed, and stuck it on. Instantly, it shot out hard, and Eric went about the business of wanking it.

"Man, Pete," Eric remarked, "You ever sell this thing, I want first dibs."

"Not likely, buddy. That one's a keeper," Pete snorted. "Twenty minutes," he reminded Eric, and headed out to get dressed.

It didn't take Eric long to shoot his load. Chris hung around and watched. Once Eric blew his load, he gave Pete's dick to Chris, and Chris started stroking it. "Man, I've never had Pete's on before," he said. "This is nice. It's thick as hell," he remarked to Eric.

"Yeah, you're telling me. You've never had it up your ass before either," Eric agreed. "I'm gonna get some breakfast, you wanna go when you're done?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Chris told him, and stayed behind to finish up jerking off.

After breakfast, Chris and Eric went back to the house. Lars, Tyler, and Steve were hanging around the living room, cleaning up or lying around nursing hangovers of their own. Chris was at least glad to see he wasn't the only one who'd fallen prey to someone's razor - Lars was as bald as he was.

Tyler pounced on them as they came in the door. "Either of you got a cock I can borrow?" he asked. "I got a booty call I wanna go make."

"No, man, sorry," Chris answered.

"Yeah, they got us too. Doesn't anybody have a dick?" Eric asked the room.

"No," Steve said. "Somebody said Pete did."

"Yeah, we borrowed his earlier but he was leaving to meet his boy," Eric told them. "Who the fuck took all our dicks?"

Everybody shrugged. "All I did was shave Chris' eyebrows off after he passed out," Tyler told them. "I don't remember much about the rest of the night, though." Chris shot Tyler a dirty look. "Hey, asshole, you did mine two months ago, remember?" Tyler defended himself.

"Oh...yeah, right," Chris did remember. "So does anybody remember what happened?" Everybody shook their heads no. "Man, this sucks!" Chris exclaimed. "I wonder if somebody slipped us a bunch of roofies or something..."

"You get used to it," Lars commented, playing with his balls. "It's not so bad once you do, but the first coupla weeks really blow."

"Man, I don't wanna get used to it," Eric replied, taking his shirt off. "Arrgh." He flopped onto the couch next to Lars and pulled his pants off. "Guess this is the balling couch. I'm still fuckin' horny." He started fondling his nuts too.

"Here, man, try this," Lars told him, leaning down over Eric's crotch and taking his buddy's balls in his mouth. Lars rolled them around with his tongue, sometimes letting them drop back out and licking where Eric's dick usually was. Eric just moaned and lay back, enjoying what he could get.

Chris helped Tyler and Steve finish cleaning up. They got back to the living room right as Eric's balls pulled up and cum dribbled out his pisshole and down over his balls. Lars cleaned him off with his mouth, then sat back on the couch to watch TV with the rest of them.

"So," he announced to the room. "I decided I'm gonna get my nuts cut off." The others looked at him, at little surprised.

"Why? You can always use somebody else's dick," Tyler asked.

"Yeah, but I'm sick of having to ask all the time, and frankly, I'm just sick of being horny," Lars told them. "I was talking to Ed, that guy down at the store. He did it a few years ago; said it's pretty nice. I was gonna go down on Friday and have it done."

"Ed? I didn't know he was one of those guys," Steve commented.

"Yeah, he told me the whole story. When he was seventeen he went down to Mexico and some whore he'd bought ended up knocking him over the head and took off with it. Said he couldn't handle being horny all the time; ended up dropping out of school because of it, so he had 'em cut 'em off," Lars explained. "Says he likes it."

Chris imagined Lars, all smooth in the groin. As the unofficial house cocksucker, Lars didn't really need his nuts that much anyway, but Chris wondered if he would still be so willing to give all of them blows afterward. He sure hoped so; Lars was great with his mouth. Just thinking about it made him horny again.

About an hour later, Pete came back in through the door. The four of them were lying around, still watching television. "What's up, guys?" Pete asked.

"Oh, man, finally!" Tyler exclaimed. "Dude, I need your dick. Please? Just for a few minutes?"

Pete rolled his eyes. "You still haven't found all of yours yet?" he asked.

"No. We searched all over the house."

"All right...man, you can borrow it now but I'm not going to keep lending it out to you guys every time you need a fuck," Pete griped, reaching down into his pants. He tossed Tyler his cock and sat down on the couch next to Lars.

Tyler put it on, but before he started beating it, Lars got down on his knees and went to town. Tyler had no complaints, and soon enough shot his load down Lars' throat.

"Hey, man, can I...?" Chris asked. Pete just waved his hand dismissively. Tyler handed off the cock to Chris, then to Steve, and finally back to Pete.

Pete put it back on and immediately winced. "Jeebus. Lube, people...it's sore as hell now..."

"Man, we're like those witches from Macbeth or something," Chris joked. "Six dudes and only one dick between us."

A few hours later they'd all called everybody they knew who had been there, but no leads. "I think I saw some Nu Zetas there," said one of Chris' buddy. He asked the other guys, and they said, yeah, their friends had seen some of those guys there too.

"You think they did it?" Tyler asked.

"I dunno," Steve answered. "Why would they?"

Everybody looked around the room, and eventually their eyes all locked on Eric, who was looking at his feet and turning a bright red color. "Umm...I might know."

"What?" Chris asked him, his displeasure evident.

"You remember last month when we tp'd their house?" Eric asked. The guys nodded. "I heard the dean got all pissed off about it because the trustees were touring campus the next day, and apparently they got in a lot of shit for it. Maybe it's a revenge thing."

"Sounds pretty likely," Chris agreed. "So what do we do?"

The four dickless guys tromped over to the Nu Zeta house and knocked on the door. The guy who answered was obviously a pledge; he had his dick tied to a string around his neck - the usual frat hazing stuff. "Yeah?" the kid greeted them, a suspicious look on his face.

"I need to talk to Tommy," Eric told the kid. The pledge nodded and went off to find him. A minute or two later, Tommy came to meet them at the door. As soon as he saw who it was, he laughed.

"Figured it out already?" he joked. "I'm impressed."

The four of them relaxed, the mystery apparently solved. "Dude. Come on, man, we need our cocks back," Eric told him.

"All right, hold on a minute. Come on in." Tommy let them into the living room, walked over to the frat trophy case, and grabbed a handful of dicks. "I don't know which one goes with who."

"That one's mine," Steve said, taking one with a large-guage PA through the head. He dropped his pants, put it on, and sighed a sigh of relief.

"There's my guy," Eric said, picking up his short, but thick member. Tyler saw his as well.

"I'm not sure where all these came from," Tommy said. "Seems like every once in awhile we end up with extras."

Chris was looking through the bucket, but couldn't find his dick. There were several in there but none were his. "Shit, mine isn't here."

"Yeah, man," Tommy told him. "I remember, yours was already missing, and that other guy...what's his name? Larry or something?"

"Lars. Yeah, he lost his somewhere a year ago," Eric told him.

Chris was pawing through the bucket anyway in the vain hope that Tommy was mistaken. It looked like most of the ones in there were pretty small. Chris' wasn't exactly enourmous, but it was a hell of a lot larger than these rejects in the bucket. "Hey, dude, don't tell anybody," Tommy said in a low voice, "but look, if you wanna grab one, go for it. I know how it sucks to lose it."

Chris sighed. "No...none of these are really worth it. Thanks anyway."

They walked back to their place, Chris dejected. The others tried to console him but it wasn't much help. "So if they didn't take mine, who the hell did?" Chris asked aloud.

When they came back in the door, Lars was waiting for them. "How'd it go?" he asked.

"They had all of ours' but Chris'," Tyler answered. "It hasn't turned up, has it?"

Lars looked worried. "Well, um, maybe," he said. "I found this in the yard out back." He held up a badly mangled cock. "Looks like the neighbors hit it with a lawnmower." He handed it to Chris, who examined it intently, and with a sinking feeling realized that it was indeed his. "Sorry, dude," Lars consoled him.

Chris just sighed, defeated. "Great. Just great," he muttered, flopping down on the couch.

"Hey man, you can borrow mine, you know," Tyler tried to make him feel better. The other chimed in with similar offers, but Chris just nodded his head.

"Yeah, thanks...I mean, it works and all but it's just not the same, you know?"

He borrowed a dick a few times the first week, but as he said, it just wasn't the same. Maybe he was just depressed that his own was lost and gone forever, but other guys' dicks just didn't have the right feel. After that first week he gave up on it. "Guess I'll just bottom from now on," he decided. Maybe he'd just get used to it, like Lars had.

Lars was sympathetic, and after that first month called Chris into his room and shut the door. "Okay. I'll tell you something but you have to promise not to tell any of the other guys," he said.

"Okay," Chris nodded.

Lars opened his closet door and dug around in the bottom of it until he found a cigar case. "I ended up finding it like two months after I'd lost it," he said, opening the case to reveal Lars' dick inside. "It was at the bottom of my sock drawer for some reason."

Chris hadn't really seen it much; Lars had "lost" his only a little while after Chris had met him. Now that he saw it close up, he was pretty impressed - long, thick, nice big head. He looked at Lars, confused.

"Don't ask why, I just don't like wearing it and I don't really want it, okay? But, look...if you want it, it's yours." Lars held the case out to him.

"Wow, um, Lars, that's...that's really cool of you," Chris said, lifting it out of the case. It was heavy, with thick meaty veins. Chris put it on and let it get hard, extending out to its full nine inches. "Wow. You got a big one."

"Yeah," Lars sighed. "I'm going down tomorrow to get my balls off. I was going to throw it away when I got back, but I figure maybe you'd like to have it."

Chris pumped it a few times, but just didn't really have it in him. "You know," he said, taking it off, "this might sound a little weird, but," he handed it back to Lars, "I think I'll just stick with being dickless."

"Doesn't sound weird to me. Remember who you're talking to," Lars smiled at him. "Weird, isn't it? Once you don't have it for awhile you don't really want it anymore."

"Yeah," Chris said, only now truly realizing it.

"Hey, do you want to go down with me tomorrow?"

"What, to get your balls cut off?"

"Yeah. I need a ride."

"Yeah, sure, I'll take you." Chris paused for a minute. "Do they do walk-ins?"